


You Can't Hurry Love

by StevieAng



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Brooklyn, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Plus-Size Reader, Post-Civil War (Marvel), Single Parents, Slow Build, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-19 06:36:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 147,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11892093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StevieAng/pseuds/StevieAng
Summary: Your life as a busy, working divorced mom of a teenager and tweenager in Brooklyn was busy and happy.  Your new neighbor is certainly polite and friendly.  While you admit he's gorgeous, your hope is that he doesn't mind the obnoxious noise levels created by your girls and their ever-present friends.  It never occurs to you to that anything more could develop, other than neighborly friendship.





	1. The New Neighbor

**Author's Note:**

> I've absolutely loved this fanfic world I stumbled onto this summer. I am so grateful to the writers here who share their stories, ideas, and talents. I was inspired to try something on my own. I think it's ok for a first attempt and would appreciate any and all kind feedback and support. I've only written one chapter, but I'm hoping to get some feedback to see if it's worth writing more. I've got the story in my head, but since I have to write after my kids go to bed and in other free moments, your reactions will guide my decision. Thank you and I hope you enjoy!!!

Chapter 1  
The New Neighbor

“Hey Mom, who’s moving in across the hall?”

“No idea, sweetie, did you see anyone?”

“Some big guys and some old stuff like Grandma and Grandpa have at their house. Elizabeth said she saw records. What are those?”

Hmmmm...now that’s interesting. Big guys and old stuff - the things kids notice. Maybe it’s an older person or couple who lost their rent-controlled apartment. Stupid corporate greed, it’s always displacing those who need the most help. Well, whomever it is, I’m sure we’ll bump into each other soon enough. Hopefully he, she, or they don’t mind loud teenage and tweenage girls. Not only the two that live here, 16 and 12 years old respectively, but the entire posse of similarly-minded young people who like to call your house their hangout. When Mrs. Mathison lived next door, let’s just say there were more than a few thumps on the door or verbal projectiles hurled, requesting peace and quiet - “for goodness sake!” Many peace offerings were required to keep a semblance of civilized living. Shopping trips, fresh baked goods, mail pickups and drop offs - you’d done them all. Hopefully the new neighbor was either hard-of-hearing or wasn’t home enough to care about the noise a gaggle of kids makes when they decide to have a karaoke competition or a dance-off.

“Mom, shouldn’t we introduce ourselves to the new neighbor?”

“Gable, that’s a really thoughtful idea, but I can’t right now. I’ve got reports to write, new devices to evaluate, you guys have homework that needs monitoring and *someone* just told me about decorations needed for a dance Friday night? Let’s let the person settle in for a day or two. Hopefully you and Elizabeth won’t run them out of the building before then? Sound ok?”

The 12-year old’s smile was practiced, and for once, patient. She and her sister were used to you being underwater and over scheduled. Life was happy but harried with your full-time job as an assistive technology specialist, part-time jack-of-all-trades and master scheduler, and full-time divorced mom, living in Brooklyn. 

You’d lived there for almost 20 years, moving from New England when you were getting your second master’s degree. Though you’d lose all your New England credibility to say it out loud (yes, that’s a thing, just ask any Patriots football fan), you considered yourself a transplanted New Yorker. It was here you met your ex-husband and started a family. The girls had known nothing else but this life. You had a warm and caring relationship with their Dad, who lived right by the Brooklyn Navy Yard, close friends, and a safe and well-cared for apartment building that you felt lucky to afford. Your life was pleasantly full.

The week continued, without seeing the new neighbor/s. Honestly, you didn’t give it much thought - you were out early every morning, working on the public school schedule, as you consulted to various classrooms all over the city in their special education departments. As you passed the neighbor’s door, you noticed boots and an umbrella, but nothing that provided any really valuable intel that gave you a clue to the occupant(s). You’ll say this, whomever it was was quiet. They must not have been home very often, because there was no knocking on the door from across the hall after the no-holds-barred PS4 tournament got more than a little loud Friday night. Even though the downstairs neighbor Mr. Hollings was banging on his ceiling at 11pm. Looks like the teenagers were making a heck of a lot of muffins tomorrow to apologize. After getting everyone to at least pretend to sleep, you drifted off.

You’d always been an early riser. Even with your girls’ sleep schedules definitely shifting towards the night-owl end of the spectrum, like their Dad, you always loved the quiet the morning provided, even in the city. It gave you time to preview your day, breathe deep, and drink your coffee-laced protein shake in peace. If the planets aligned, you had even been known to occasionally exercise at this time as well. GIven that the winter was over, it was time to get back to that morning walk. Given the need for muffin ingredients as well as some alone time, you pulled on your fleece and grabbed your iPhone, key, money, and pepper spray. “Practice what you preach,” you thought, considering all the times you went through that same checklist with the girls before they went anywhere. The kids were asleep, but you texted your two to make sure they knew where you were when they woke up. 

As you put in an earbud, cranked your 90’s r&b playlist, and locked the door, you got the crap scared out of you by an unexpected “Good morning.” After catching your breath and squelching your irritation at having your only quiet time of day interrupted, you smiled, turned, and met the bluest pair of eyes you had ever seen. He smiled, and offered an apology, “I’m sorry ma’am, I didn’t mean to scare you.” 

You laughed, “No worries. I’m just not used to meeting anyone in this hallway so early in the morning. The woman who lived here before barely spoke before noon. If she opened the door before then, it was not a good thing.”

“Well, I’m up and out early most every day - it’s the best time of day to run - fewer people, feels like there is more fresh air…”

“Oh, I get you - it’s the only time of day I have to myself before life descends. Can’t really understand the running part, but walking is tolerable. When I am out I might also buy coffee….and a croissant, but that’s it. Unless my girls text me, begging for sustenance, since getting out of bed to look in the refrigerator is far too taxing.”

When he laughed in reply, his entire face, but especially his eyes, seemed to radiate warmth. And hotness. Whoa, the hotness. “Well, I’m Steve. I just moved in. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Steve, it’s very nice to meet you. I’m Stephanie. We’ve lived here for quite a while, so if you need any help finding your way around the neighborhood or if you realize you didn’t buy enough coffee - just knock and you’re welcome to it. Once I trust that you’re not an arch criminal, that is.”

Again, the laugh. Again, the warmth, but it wasn’t only coming from him this time.

“Thank you Stephanie. Well, I better get to that run. Nice talking to you.”  
“You too, Steve. Have a great day. Talk soon. After that background check.” Even though there were few who agreed and many who rolled their eyes, you considered yourself hilarious.

By now, rumblings were heard behind your door, and sleepy/nonverbal teenagers who could not manage a hello but could maintain their SnapChat streak while still half asleep, were grunting about coffee and breakfast. Sighing, you took the earbud out and opened the door to your life.

“Hey Mom, where did you come from? Did you get croissants? Bagels? Did you go to The Bagel Store?” The 16-year old was awake and texting her friend who was 2 sleeping bags over from her.

“....and good morning to you! Nope, stepped out to do just that, AND to get the ingredients for the copious amounts of muffins you will all make today as an apology to the neighbors for your obnoxious noise levels last night...when I started talking to the new neighbor. Then you lot were up and grumbling. Cut to present time.”

“Is it a he? A she? A they?”

“So far, just a “he.” His name is Steven, last name unknown at this time. Now that you know everything I know, I’m going to run out and get the ingredients.”

“And……” with a cheesy smile and faux puppy dog eyes that have gotten good mileage over the years…..

*Sigh* “I see you are using your powers for evil, you know. Alright, I’ll stop at The Bagel Store and wait in the crazy stupid line and get the stupid taste-the-same-as-other-color Rainbow Bagels. Please get the Best Mother Award prepared in my absence.”

“Don’t forget the cream cheese and lox. Please, oh Mommy that we all love so much.”

Errands were still relatively quick to finish at that time of morning, so you got all the ingredients you needed, dropped them off in your lobby and texted your kids to come down and get them. Then, to the world-famous The Bagel Store (well, Brooklyn famous, and since Brooklyn is pretty much the entire world to a person that lives there, no other qualifier is necessary). Mentally counting how many hungry teenagers you had to feed and how many bagels you’ll need and how much money you’ll spend distracted you from the insane wait and the fact that your new neighbor was behind you in line. After smiles were exchanged you were up next to place your order. You asked him what he wanted. Just to be neighborly, of course.

“No thank you, ma’am. I’m all set.”

“Ok, but I’m buying enough to feed an army of teenagers, so adding a few more would not be a big deal. You’re gonna pay me for them, so don’t worry.” After he relents and adds his order to yours, you see the smile again. Yikes. That thing could be used as a weapon.

As you refused his money (again, neighborly.) “Here ya go. Are you hanging out here? I have to go back and tend to the hordes who, as we speak, are “starving” and doing a good imitation of The Walking Dead. If I don’t come back soon, a riot might break out.”

“Could I at least help you bring the stuff home? It’s the least I can do.”  
“Of course. That’s very nice, Steve. Thank you.”  
“You’re welcome ma’am.”  
“Ok, the politeness is endearing, but please, call me Stephanie. I may be older than you, but you don’t have to put fuel on the fire that is my self-concept.”  
After a not-so-radiant smile, “You got it, Stephanie.”

Very small small talk was made on the way to our building Found out he was born and raised in Brooklyn but had been away for awhile. When he heard you grew up in New England and hence, was a Patriots fan, there was much side-eyeing, snarky commenting, and scoffing followed by you smiling and holding up a picture of Tom Brady with 5 SuperBowl rings on. “‘Nuff said, I think.” Not so much of a smile that time. You don't think he appreciated your chuckle.

You said a quick thanks and goodbye after unlocking the door and getting sucked into the vortex of hungry teenagers. Food grabbing, toaster jockeying, and cream cheese hoarding soon took all my attention, along with marshaling the troops for the muffin making assembly. Yes, you were indeed serious about that.

After the 10 teenagers had eaten, changed, made muffins, Snapped at least 300 times, and texted each other WHILE STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO ONE ANOTHER, the muffins were in paper bags with little notes written on them, begging our neighbors for forgiveness. Even though Steve hadn’t complained, you made them drop off a bag for him as well. Neighborly.

After their deliveries, which thankfully included some face-to-face apologizing, they returned and delivered their report, which included who they spoke with and whose muffins they left at the door because no one answered. The usual teenage stoicism was set aside for a minute when they mentioned Steve.

“Mom, Mr. Rogers was wicked nice!”  
“Wait, his name is Mr. Rogers? He he he, that’s funny. I loved that show when I was a kid.”  
“What show?”

*Sigh* “Come here right now. You are watching this wonderful TV show from my long-ago youth called “Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood.” You will watch it for 2 minutes and not complain.”

After much eye rolling that lasted longer than the YouTube clip, you triumphantly asserted, “THAT is why his name made me laugh.”

“Yup, whatever you say, Mom. Anyway, Mr. Rogers was really surprised. He said he wasn’t even home last night but he was a pretty sound sleeper so noise didn’t bother him too much. Score!!!”

With a smile, you started the process of sending all the other people’s children home and preparing your two for their 2 nights with their Dad. “Clothes - check, Homework and study materials - check, meds - check, hair stuff and braces stuff - check, undying love for your mother and each other - check.” You walked them down to the lobby to meet their Dad who was accompanying them back to his house. After filling him in on all the necessary stuff and giving the girls hugs and kisses, you finally went for that walk you had postponed this morning.

Walking back into the apartment after the girls left was always a little sad for you. The great irony of your life as a mom was that you always wished for time to think and process uninterrupted, time to watch what you wanted on Netflix, time to eat the rest of the ice cream without thinking of them first, but at the same time missing them when you were able to do all these things. 

Having some kind of plan or to-do list always helped you get over it. Today, the to-do list included catching up on your Netflix queue, writing and recording 2 educational technology tutorials, and prepping for the week ahead, though not necessarily in that order. Saturday was almost over before you knew it, and dinner was definitely required. Not feeling like cooking, you stepped out, eager to see the movie everyone was talking about, and grabbing a slice (or 2) at Tony’s Pizza. The movie was great, and that very welcome sense of satisfaction came over you when you walked home and found everything just as you left it. Pretty soon, plans to read or scroll through your Twitter feed were abandoned, as you fell asleep with a smile on your face.


	2. That’s What Neighbors Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your new neighbor helps you out when you need it, and then tells you about his day job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI guys, hope you liked the first chapter. I'd love to hear comments to see if I'm completely sucking at this or if there's something here worth continuing. For now, I like telling the story, so as long as I have time to write and something substantive to say, I'll update. Also, bear with me - this is the rising action, as I teach my students - slow build all the way, baby. A couple more chapters before things start to heat up. Thank you so much for reading!

“Why does the weekend always go so quickly?” You thought to yourself before turning off the alarm clock. You were proud of yourself - you put out your workout clothes the night before and your lunch was made. The girls were with their Dad on Mondays, so you could just go for your early-morning walk with no excuses.  
You smiled at your neighbor Steve as he left at the same time, not wanting to intrude on the quiet that was the best part of this time of day, in your opinion. You put your earbud in, cranked the old school R&B, and wished him a good run. You thought maybe he said something back, but between “No Diggity” blasting and watching where you were going, you missed it.

“I always feel so great after I walk, why do I always resist?” you texted to your best friend as you returned home and got ready for work.  
“Because even though you’re a morning person, you talk yourself out of it and love your bed too much!” She knew you too well.  
Making sure you had all your work stuff, you headed out again, running into Steve as he got off the elevator. Wishing each other a good day with a smile, you headed off to work.  
“If I knew I was going to see my neighbor before and after I walked, then I would definitely do it more often,” you texted before going down into the subway.

As the weeks passed and the weather improved, your morning walks became something you honestly enjoyed, not just tolerated. You almost always accidentally-on-purpose bumped into Steve in the morning, if he was around. When he was home, he seemed to make a point of saying hi and your gut told you he was a nice, solid guy. 

He proved it one afternoon when you had a late meeting with a special education team in Manhattan. The girls knew about it and were supposed to go straight to their Dad’s after school. As you were beginning your presentation, your text alert buzzed 3 times in quick succession. You glanced over, sighed, and excused yourself when you saw your older daughter Elizabeth’s name. 

“Mom, I’m locked out. I forgot that I was supposed to go to Dad’s and I don’t have my key for our house.”  
“Mom, Mrs. Mathison used to have our spare key? Did you give it to Mr. Rogers?”  
“Mom, no worries. I knocked on Mr. Roger’s door and he was home. He’s letting me hang out until you get here.”

“Please tell him thank you for me. Give him my cell # so he can text or call me directly if needed. Also, please text Dad to make sure Gabbi got to his house and he knows where you are. Be home in about 2 hours if I make my train.”

In the next minute, Steve’s contact info popped up.  
“Hi Stephanie, Steve here. Don’t worry about Elizabeth and take your time getting home. It’s no problem for her to hang out here. She’s doing her homework and telling some very amusing stories.”  
“Thank you Steve. I’ll text you from the train.”

When you stepped off the elevator, you knocked on Steve’s door before opening your own.

“Hi. I’ve come to collect my offspring,” as I peeked beyond the threshold. That smile of his made an appearance as he helped her collect her stuff.  
“Hey sweets, enough bothering Mr. Rogers, come on home and we’ll grab some dinner.”  
On our way out, Elizabeth stopped in the hall between our apartment and Steve’s.  
“Mom, can Mr. Rogers come, too? To thank him for helping me?”  
“Of course. It’s the least we can do. Go ask him.”

“Forget something kiddo?”  
“No, sir. We were, well, I was, wondering if you wanted to come to dinner with us, to thank you for helping me out today.”  
“No thanks necessary kid, that’s what neighbors do.” He looked over her head to me, unsure of whether I was ok with her asking.

“Please, Steve, join us. You saved me a lot of time and energy, just by being here. Otherwise, I would have had to leave the meeting, reschedule it….We’d like to return the favor - that’s what neighbors do, I’ve heard.” The smirk on his face made you laugh to yourself.

For a Monday night, Tony’s was busy. We got the last table and ordered.  
“Well, Steve, thanks again….”  
“Isn’t this like the 5th time you’ve thanked me? I really didn’t do much - just gave her a place to study. You’re welcome, and it was no problem. Really.”

“So Lizzy, how was school today? What happened with going to your Dad’s afterwards?”

As your girl explained her day, including the ins and outs of how gross Phys Ed was, how useless physics is, and how amazing her new English teacher, Mr. Williamson, was (which was the reason she forgot about going to her Dad’s, sigh), the pizza was delivered to the table. Steve told you both about what Brooklyn was like when he was growing up, what had changed, and what he had missed most while away. His stories were fascinating and you could tell Lizzy was enthralled, and to be honest, so were you. It was a relaxing way to spend an evening, even with him trying to grab the check and pay before you did (you won, of course). The conversation continued as we walked home.

“Brooklyn sounds a lot different when you were growing up. I’ve lived here for almost 20 years but I don’t remember the places you mentioned. Weird, since our time here must have overlapped - you can’t be more than 30. I’ll blame it on mother brain.”  
“Nah, that’s not it. I can’t imagine you would have known them. The last time I lived in Brooklyn was before I joined the Army - before World War II.” The look on his face cut short the burst of laughter about to leave your lips.

“I’m sorry, what?”  
“I joined the Army in 1941 and was part of an experimental government project that turned me into the man standing in front of you now.”

As you began silently cursing your stupid, trusting self you felt nauseous thinking your child had clearly spent the afternoon with a person who was not in his right mind. You didn’t even think before saying, “Yup, ok. Thanks Steve for joining us, thanks for helping us out today. Elizabeth and I really have to run an errand before heading home. We’ll see you soon, ok?”  
Steve lightly placed his and on your arm. “I know it sounds nuts, but you’ve heard of Captain America?” A sad smile showed he was accustomed to disbelief. “Stephanie, I’m telling you the truth. Before you run off thinking I’m some crazy jerk, let me show you something.”

Elizabeth looked up at you, searching your face to figure out how she should feel. You looked around the busy sidewalk, put your arm around her waist, took a step back, and nodded for Steve to go ahead. Your other hand was on your pepper spray in your purse and you were ready to yell for help if needed. 

After typing into his phone, he played a brief video that looked like one of the newsreels they used to play before old movies. The announcer echoed what Steve had said. He showed the experimental procedure and the before and after comparison pictures. Even in old black and white new footage, it was clear he was telling the truth. You felt like a complete moron. Who lives in New York, in BROOKLYN FOR GOD’S SAKE!, and doesn’t recognize Captain America?!?!

“WHOAAAAAAAA SO COOL!!!!!!!!!” was your daughter’s first reaction, followed by “I have GOT to Snap at everyone! Can you take a selfie with me?”

Before she had a chance, you grabbed her phone. “No, you cannot. Mr. Rogers may not want you extending your Snap streak by telling the world about this. We don’t invade other people’s privacy in that way.”  
“Sorry kiddo, your Mom’s right. It wouldn’t be a good idea to talk to other people about this. Think you can do that?” Her enthusiastic head bobbing seemed to indicate a yes.  
“Well, if you don’t think you can, I can limit your phone use to phone only, no data. That would certainly help.” The look of abject terror on her face helped you feel a bit better about the odds of her keeping this information to herself. You saw Steve’s tiny smirk and took a shaky, but deep breath.

After a quiet walk back to your building, you avoided an awkward elevator ride by saying goodnight while standing in front of your mailbox much longer than necessary. The rest of the night was predictably full of teenage hysterics, questions, and what if’s. After as much talking as you could stand, with at least 3 reiterations of what you expected her to do with this information and the resulting eye rolling, Lizzy finally fell asleep. Just as you opened your laptop to start researching your neighbor, there was a light knock at the door.

The peephole showed Steve standing in the hallway, one hand in his pocket, one hand holding a very welcomed sight. 

“Hi.”  
“Hi. I was hoping we could just clear the air a bit? I wasn’t sure if you drank wine, but I thought I would offer. I also wanted to say that mailbox loitering is not necessary if you don’t want to talk to me, you can tell me straight out.”  
“Well, Lizzy, I mean Elizabeth, just went to bed and Gable is at her Dad’s, so sure. My attempt at avoiding sharing the elevator was that transparent, huh?”  
“I get it, but yeah.”  
“You gotta admit, you sort of dropped a bomb at dinner. I mean, a bomb that I should have seen coming as soon as I met you, because duh, I live in Brooklyn, and duh, Avengers, and duh, you’re you, but a big surprise nonetheless. I felt embarrassed that I hadn’t noticed and stupid that you had to hint around to tell me, like I was baiting you or something.”  
“Nope. Never thought that for a minute. I know all the looks - when people recognize me and try to hide it and when they don’t try to hide it, when they want something, and when they truly don’t know who I am. You never knew. I just didn’t want your background check to come up with it before I told you.”

Now it was your turn to smirk, with a smile. “Let me get some glasses. Please tell me you’re drinking, too.”  
“Absolutely.”

You talked for awhile, about why he moved back to Brooklyn, how he liked the building and he was grateful for nice neighbors.  
“Thanks, me too. Mrs. Mathison required, let’s say, kid glove treatment. Loud noises were bad, running kids in the hallway were bad, doors slamming was very bad. It was like living in a museum. It’s nice to know that someone who understands what it’s like to be young….”  
“Technically, I’m 60 years older than you.”  
“...as I was saying, someone who understands that youth can equal exuberance, impulsivity, and loud noises. You were young once, right?”  
With a chuckle, he agreed, and as you started to yawn, bid you goodnight. After closing and locking the door behind him, you smiled, secured in the knowledge that your neighbor wasn’t only a nice guy, he was thoughtful enough to care about your opinion. Captain F*&%^ing America cared about what you thought of him - a nice idea to fall asleep to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think in the comments, if you have a moment. I appreciate constructive feedback. Stay tuned!


	3. Day-to-Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daily life isn't as glamorous as it is portrayed on TV and in the movies, but having Captain America as your neighbor and now, friend, is a nice bonus. Your family's life goes on day by day, and Steve Rogers is making it a bit easier. Both you and he feel like a platonic relationship is where you're at, but some other feelings may be creeping in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, and for your feedback. I very much appreciate the comments and thoughts. For my first piece of fiction writing, this chapter felt really good. Took me a little longer than before, because I had a better idea of what I wanted to do, stylistically. Remember - this is a slow burn, but things are finally starting to warm up, a bit. Enjoy!

Having Captain America as your next door neighbor came with some perks. You always felt safe in your apartment building, but now, you seemed to have a feeling of calm. Something about your neighbor being able to take down an alien invasion made cat burglars seem less scary. Steve was an exceptionally generous neighbor, and It would have been very easy to take advantage of his kindness. He regularly volunteered to walk with you and your girls after dark, pick up things like coffee and bagels while he was out, and keep an eye on you now and then during your early-morning walks (from afar, obviously, since your walking speed and his running speed were far from compatible.) Both of you tried to respectfully observe the friend/neighbor-of-the-opposite-sex boundary. He always asked if he was “nosing around” too much, you always checked in when you or the girls had knocked a few too many times on his door. It felt like a friendly and equitable give-and-take, except when it came to school fundraisers.

Steve had a big heart and a wicked sweet tooth, and every single teenage occupant and visitor to your apartment took full advantage of it. After hitting him up for the third week in a row for a school fundraiser, you suggested to Lizzy, your older daughter, that maybe there was something nice you could do for Mr. Rogers in return, as a way of thanking him for his constant support. She took the suggestion to heart and volunteered to water his plants when he was away.

“Mom, I asked Mr. Rogers if he needed someone to water his plants while he was away. I noticed his always look droopy and sad. He said wasn’t sure because he wanted you to tell him if it was ok before he said yes. So? Yes?” 

You knocked on his door rather than text him - it was just faster - as he said, his texting was slow due to his “big thumbs.” He smiled when he answered, with his ear to his phone. You mouthed, “SORRY, LATER” and turned around. He grabbed your forearm, shook his head, and said, “1 minute,” while raising his eyebrows and sweeping his arm towards his apartment, wordlessly asking you to come in. As you sat at his kitchen table, he wrapped up his phone call.

“Sorry, Steve, didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“You didn’t. What’s up?”

“Lizzy told me she volunteered to water your plants when you were away after she extorted you to buy more candy from her. I think she felt a bit sheepish asking you again, but I believe the offer was sincere - she described your plants as “droopy and sad.”

He dropped his head and started to chuckle. “That bad, huh? She’s such a sweetheart. That would be fine, but I told her you had to approve before I agreed.”

“It’s fine with me, as long as you’re ok with us having a key to your place.”

“I did my own little background check, and all signs point to a completely trustworthy family. I’ll drop the key by tonight, show her all the plants, and find some way to tell you when I leave, so she’ll know when to come around. Sound ok?”

He had accepted your offer of joining you for dinner, so you were expecting the knock at the door. Lizzy and Gabbi raced each other to the door and threw it open, shouting “Mr. Rogers!” in unison and smiling ear-to-ear. Gabbi pulled him by the hand to the table and pulled out the chair that was slowly becoming “his.” He put a small bouquet of flowers on the table and sat down with a smile. 

“Thanks for having me, ladies. I don’t cook that much for myself.” The girls started talking at the same time, both offering some version of how he was welcome any time. Steve looked to you, and you nodded, “Of course, anytime.”

The talk at dinner centered around the plant watering process, and the responsibility that came with having a key to another person’s home. As the heavy, you of course had to lay down the rules about how this was going to work. Both girls listened soberly and agreed to the few conditions, including never using the key without an adult knowing. It made you proud to see them so sincere about something as simple as watering a neighbor’s plants. Steve couldn’t keep the small smile off his face as he watched your little family figure out how they could help him, and, as Gabbi offered, “any pets you might want to get,” a suggestion which her older sister heartily endorsed. You did not attempt to hide your eye rolling.

After dinner and cleanup was done, the girls were practically bouncing off the walls as they got their suitcases and stuff ready for their nights at their Dad’s. Not only were they staying 3 nights, they were going to see “Wicked” on Broadway - a gift from their Dad and his girlfriend for both their birthdays. You sent them on their way with hugs, kisses, and requests to send you pictures. When you got back upstairs, Steve’s apartment door was open and he yelled from inside.

“Hey, want a drink or some dessert? Least I could do after that delicious dinner.”

“Yes, I am the queen of delicious spaghetti and meatballs. It's on my business card. Of course I’d love something. Want me to come here or you coming to me?”

It may have sounded suggestive, but it wasn’t meant that way. You were always aware of Steve - his identities, his blue-green eyes, and that megawatt smile that could melt tungsten - you were a heterosexual woman, after all - but you didn’t want to risk this friendship or look like an idiot by testing the romantic waters. Steve wasn’t interested in you that way anyway, never having given you the slightest indication of wanting anything more than a platonic friendship. You could only imagine that his ideal girl would look like a 1940’s pinup or a sleek and lethal weapon, not a generously-sized woman of substance with lumps, bumps, and plenty of hips and ass to grab onto. You were truly happy with yourself, but realistic about who might find that same happiness with you. Dessert can just be dessert.

The evening turned out perfectly. Coffee with Bailey’s, delicious dessert from the corner bakery, and talking about anything and everything. His work, your work, your love of World War II history and his first-hand experience during it. After gently shaking you awake after falling asleep on his couch, you sleepily asked if he’d like to join you and some friends from work for a night out tomorrow.

“We’re just grabbing a quick bite then I think a movie. Want to come? It’s gotten really good reviews - looks funny. There’ll only be a few of us, and they are probably as clueless about your day job as I was. If they’re not, they are very discreet.”

As he showed you to the door, 3 steps away, “Sounds great, thanks. If nothing comes up for work, I’ll be there. ‘Night Stephanie” 

“Hey, I have a favor to ask. I know myself. There is no way I am going to want to get up and walk tomorrow, and of course you’ll be running, because you would even if you’d just been discharged from the hospital. Would you mind knocking on my door before you leave? That way, I’ll have to get out of bed and that’s the biggest hurdle. I’d really appreciate it, even though you’ll see me looking like a zombie.”

Your alarm going off was not sufficient to get you out of bed, as you suspected. Though you were a light sleeper, it appeared that the late night, along with the Bailey’s, helped you also sleep through Steve’s knocks. When you heard your phone ring, you pried your eyes open and answered, “Hey lady, I’ve been knocking for 5 minutes. You alive in there?”

“No Steve, in fact I am not. Thanks so much for doing exactly what I asked you to. I really appreciate it. Enjoy your run.”

All you heard was laughing as he started to bang on the door again AND press the doorbell. “I’m not going to stop until you answer the door.” Why, oh why, did you ask the most diligent and responsible man on Earth to get you up? (Because you knew he would.). After throwing your phone into the pillow, you jumped out of bed, made sure your pajamas covered what needed covering, and put a headband on before throwing the door open with what must have been a sinister look. He was smiling ear-to-ear, looking generally mischievous and laughing, which only got louder when he saw your face. You forgot that he dealt with real sinister all the time. No big deal. 

“Well, you did what I asked with fidelity. LOUDLY, but as I asked. Thanks Steve, enjoy your run. I’m sorry I made you have a late start.”

“Oh, I’m waiting for you to come with me.” The look on your face was intended to scare him away. Nope. He was loving this torture. You closed the door in his face as you went to get dressed, and heard him roar with laughter. Finally, a real smile *may* have crossed your face. 

When you opened the door, ready to go, he acted as nothing had happened. That you hadn’t just been a complete pain in the ass baby and gotten mad at him for something YOU asked HIM to do. To HELP YOU. You weren’t ready to give him the satisfaction of “winning” (WTF?) so you didn’t look at him, put in your earbud and blasted your music. He could not. stop. smiling. When you got outside, you went your own separate ways. When you finished the 5K loop, you felt great, of course. You also felt stupid, of course. As you walked to get some coffee, you saw him sitting on the bench in front of the cafe, smiling with that shit-eating grin of his. You had to laugh. Hard.

“Sorry. I acted like a jerk. You did what I asked you to do and, no surprise, I hated it. Thanks for sticking with me and getting me outside. I appreciate it. Can I buy you a coffee to apologize and say thank you?”

“One coffee for both apologizing and thanking? That doesn’t seem quite fair, but ok.” You were getting used to the smart-ass version of his smile. You were grateful that you didn’t have to belabor the point. Sometimes a guy friend is exactly what an over-talker and thinker like you needs. You got your coffee, walked back in companionable silence, and went your separate ways, with promises to text about the movie/dinner thing that night.

“When and where are we meeting tonight? What should I wear? Can I bring someone?”

“6:30, in front of your door, and whatever you would usually wear to the movies, and of course!. See you then.”

You had been colleagues and then friends with Maria, Ally, and Jen for over 10 years. You loved them. They had your back professionally and personally, and they were some of the best people you knew. Maria brought her brother Sam and with you, Steve, and his friend James “no-one-calls-me-that-call-me-Bucky, ” the group was just big enough. Dinner was relaxed, without much specific discussion of Steve and Bucky’s work or long history. Steve was really good at getting people to talk about themselves, and this group didn’t need much encouragement to talk about their passions. It was their work with challenging and challenged students. You had never met Sam before, but from the way he described his job as a school counselor, he clearly loved the work. 

The movie was a new twist on the buddy genre. You laughed hysterically and fielded the silent buzz of text announcements from the Maria, Ally, and Jen throughout.

Maria: Holy geez, HE is the “nice neighbor” you’ve been talking about?

Ally: Yeah, really Steph, the best description you could give was “nice neighbor?”

Jen: How about “adonis” or “the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen?” Those might have come close to describing him. His friend is also smoking hot.

Maria: HELL YEAH

Ally: WOOOOOOO HOOOOOO

Steph: STOP IT. 2 of you are MARRIED WOMEN. Yes, he’s beautiful, but he’s also really nice. I knew you’d all pester mercilessly if I went into detail, so I just glossed over it.

Maria: So spill. What’s going on with you two? Is this a thing?

Steph: Absolutely not. I am totally aware of his physique (DONT YOU DARE GIVE ME SHIT ABOUT THT WORDING), but I am also totally aware that he has never given any inclination that he’s interested in being anything more than friends, and I am REALLY fine with that.  
Steph: Can we PLEASE talk about this ltr? I want to watch the movie and all this texting is embarrassing.

Ally: No, I don’t think it is.

Jen: I second Ally

Maria: Fine, we’ll talk later. So, what do you guys think of my brother? Cute, huh?

Steph: I’m turning off my phone. You guys are hopeless. I love you all to death, but you’re hopeless.

The night ended with a cab for your friends and Sam, an unofficial agreement to get together again, and an extremely self-aware walk home with you between two hulking super soldiers. Bucky was quiet, but smiling, and you and Steve were going back and forth about the movie.

“There is no way that that car would have flipped like that in real life. No way.”

“Yup, ok, and what percentage of movie patrons would have the first-hand experience to know and refute that special effect? It was a ‘Two thumbs up’ movie for me.”

“Two thumbs up?” Both men looked at you, then each other. You had to laugh. You loved it when you could explain stupid stuff like that. You wore your geek badge with pride.

You were too tired for a night cap, so you wished them both a good night, shaking Bucky’s hand, and giving Steve a peck on the cheek.

“It was really fun tonight. Thank you both for coming - you definitely made it better. Hope to see you soon Bucky and see you tomorrow Steve?”

“Do you need me to wake you up again? I’d be happy to.” You both laughed as you saw the confused smirk on Bucky’s face.

“Um, no. I don’t think our friendship could survive another morning like today. I don’t need another opportunity to look like a complete ass, but thanks for the offer.”

As you closed the door, Steve and Bucky looked at each other. As they went inside, Bucky finally had reason to speak.

“I know that look, punk.”

“Yeah, and what look is that?”

“You like her.”

“Shut up, jerk. We are friends, nothing more. She’s a really great person - smart and funny, and her kids are just the best.”

“Good thing you don’t like her, huh?”

“Doesn’t matter if I do or don’t, she has never given me any signs that she was interested that way. We live next door to each other, I don’t want to try something and have it be awkward after.”

“Never took you for a coward, punk.”


	4. Unexpected Reactions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insomnia sucks, but going on a date with a handsome man doesn’t. Steve comes to the rescue so you can enjoy a night out with your best friend’s brother, Sam. The date is fun and ends sweetly, but Stephanie is pretty sure it’s not a love connection. Steve’s night with a room full of teenage girls goes well, and a late-night text from Bucky reminds him of something he’s avoiding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this chapter. It took me awhile to figure out certain aspects, but I like it and I hope you do, too. Keep the faith - the good stuff is coming within the next couple of chapters. As always, thanks so much for reading. Enjoy!
> 
> Oh, and I used Rich Text to post, and I'm not sure how I feel about the spacing and formatting. Let me know your opinion about it, please. Any constructive comments

It was never hard for you to fall asleep.  Stay asleep, yes, but fall asleep, no.  Tonight was one of the exceptions.  You looked at your phone again, 2:15am.  Sigh. You’d had a particularly challenging case at work that you couldn’t let go of, your 12-year-old daughter wasn’t feeling well so tomorrow looked like a day at home, and you had a date Friday night with the brother of one of your best friends. Your mind was just too busy and wasn’t slowing down anytime soon.  Neither FaceBook nor listening to the “Sounds of Nature” app was helping.  Might as well get up.

A quick check on Gabbi found her sleeping but coughing and breathing through her mouth.  A good old-fashioned cold, you hoped.  You used your best stealth tiptoe move to find your laptop in her room and bring it to your room without waking her.  The last thing you wanted to do was work, but checking your email always required concentration, so might as well do that while everything is quiet.  

Your inbox listed 26 new emails, of which most of them were ads and fundraiser requests.  One was from your 16-year old daughter, Lizzy, who sent you a link for an upcoming Shawn Mendes concert, with the caption, “Birthday present?  Whaddya think? PLEASE!!!”  After forwarding it to her Dad with a “?”, you quickly scanned your spam folder, noticing a message that was accidentally diverted there from Sam, your friend Maria’s brother.  

The two of you met a couple of weeks ago when he joined you and your friend group for dinner and a movie.  You enjoyed talking to him - he was smart, funny, and just “touchy” enough to make you think of him later, but not in a creepy way.   A couple of days later, Sam had asked Maria for your contact info and actually used it to ask you if you wanted to grab a coffee.  That was a surprise - it didn’t happen often.

_Hi Stephanie,_

_Sam here.  I was hoping emailing would be ok.  I have a meeting until 5 on Friday in the city.  How would you feel about meeting in Brooklyn around 8 at Champ’s on Meserole? They have amazing dessert and decent coffee, with a cool jukebox selection._

_Let me know.  Looking forward to meeting up._

_Sam_

 

_Hi Sam,_

_Yes, email is DEFINITELY the best way to get in touch with me, so this was perfect.  8 at Champ’s sounds great, but I need to check on one thing re: my kids before I give it the stamp of commitment (yes, that’s a thing - look it up :).  I’ll email you within the next 24 hours to confirm.  Is that ok?_

_Thanks for being in touch.  I’m looking forward to meeting up, as well._

_Best, Stephanie_

You smiled, hitting send, then checked if your ex- had responded about having the girls at his house Friday night.

_Steph,_

_Sorry, I’ve already made plans Friday night with Sue.  Let me see if we can reschedule.  Will let you know by tomorrow, ok?_

_J_

You couldn’t ask for more, it was a last-minute request, after all.  No hard feelings.  After an hour, you had responded to all outstanding emails and your email inbox was looking awesome, which felt good.  You glanced left to your Google Hangouts window, alerted to the fact that SteveRogers7420 was online.  At 3am.  You got a little flutter in your chest to see that he was awake.

StevieAng: **Hey, what are you doing up?**

SteveRogers7420: **Stephanie?**

StevieAng: **Yup.  The one and only greatest neighbor in the world.**

SteveRogers7420: **True.**

StevieAng: **So, what are you doing up?  It’s 3am.  I think most ppl are sleeping.**

SteveRogers7420: **Just got home.  By the way, you’re up.  PPL???**

StevieAng: **LOL (Laugh Out Loud)….ppl = people.  OMG (Oh My God), i’m sorry, my impulsivity got the best of me.  You probably have company.  Sorry!**  

SteveRogers7420: I **know what OMG means.  :) And no, I don’t have company, I just got home from a mission.**

StevieAng: **Well, welcome home.  We missed you the last few days.  Hope everything went well.  I’m sure big-time thanks are in order for saving the world-at-large.**

SteveRogers7420: **Thanks.  Nice to be missed.  Nice to be thanked too.**

StevieAng: **As an aside, it’s so nice to talk with someone who knows how to write as well as you do.  One of these days I want to pick your brain about when you went to school - what it was like in your time.  I have so many questions.**

SteveRogers7420: **In my time? LOL**

StevieAng: **I probably should not have said, “in your time,” though in hindsight, it’s funny. :)  You just got a real glimpse into how my brain works, particularly when I have insomnia.  My brain races and I am even more scattered than usual, which is quite a feat.  Hence, why I’m online at 3, nope, now 3:15am.**

SteveRogers7420:   **LOL. Don’t worry about it.  It’s nice to be complimented for something other than my strength.  Don’t you have to work later?**

StevieAng: **Normally yes, but Gabbi isn’t feeling well, so I think I’m going to keep her home.**

SteveRogers7420: **What’s wrong?**

StevieAng: **Oh, thankfully it doesn’t seem too serious - just a bad cold.  Enough to make her miserable and to make a day at school ineffective.**

SteveRogers7420: **Ok.  Well if you’re around tomorrow can I stop by and say hi?**

StevieAng: **Of course, she’d love that.  I won’t say anything to her, in case you have to, you know, save the universe again.**

SteveRogers7420:   **:) Alright, better get to bed. Goodnight Stephanie.**

StevieAng: **You, too.  Goodnight Steve.**

 

3:45am.  Now you were tired.  Great, just in time to get back up.  You put the laptop away, closed your eyes, and set your alarm so you didn’t forget to call Gabbi’s school in the morning.  When it went off a few hours later, you felt like crap.  Insomnia, the gift that keeps on giving.  Checking in on Gabbi, she was sound asleep.  No fever, but coughing and still mouth breathing.  Lizzy was up, but didn’t sound so hot either.  You sent her back to bed and called both their schools.  You emailed your ex-husband just to keep him in the loop and went back to bed yourself.  Before drifting off, you saw another email from Sam, time stamped a minute earlier.

 

_Stephanie,_

_Thanks for getting back so quickly.  What the hell were you doing awake and answering emails at 2am?  Hope nothing serious.  I’ll be looking for the notarized commitment stamp soon (I looked it up)._

_Have a good day,_

_Sam_

You went back to bed with a smile on your face and promptly fell back asleep for another 2 hours.

The day went as those kinds of days do.  The girls were punky and tired, snapping at you and each other, and wanting their favorite foods, TV shows, blankets - you know, happy family fun times.  When Steve knocked after lunch, you let him in, happy to see someone who wasn’t sick or complaining.  He scanned the room, taking in the tissues, coughs, pale complexions, and the tight lines around your eyes and immediately offered to stay with the girls for a bit “in case you need to go anywhere.”  It didn’t take more than a minute for you to check with the girls, put on your raincoat, and run to the elevator to grab a coffee and a few minutes of quiet.  As you arrived home and started greeting everyone, an email notification made your face fall.  Your girls asked what was wrong. “Oh, nothing.  I was trying to make plans for Friday night, but Dad just told he won’t be around to stay with you.  He and Sue have had tickets for a show for 6 months.”

“Plans?” both girls asked in unison.  Steve turned to them and smiled at the sound.  Your older daughter asked, “With Maria?”

“No”

“With Jen and Ally?”

“No”

“With..?” Steve gently cut her off with a smile, “Kiddo, might be faster if you ask her who she was making plans with, rather than going through her entire list of friends.”

“Right. Who are your plans with?”

“Maria’s brother Sam. We met two weeks ago.  He came with us to the movies - the night you saw “Wicked.”

The girls squealed one form or another of “Ooooooooooooo!!!!” with accompanying sly smiles.  Now it was your turn to roll your eyes. Steve was quiet, checking something on his phone.  

“How come you can’t go? Lizzy and I are old enough to stay alone.”

“Because my loves, as much as I’d like to, I am not comfortable with my girls alone at home on a Friday night from 8 o’clock on, especially since we’re usually overrun by your friends by the night’s end.”

 

They started to come up with all kinds of solutions, rapid-fire, but though they were funny, none were feasible.  All the while, Steve kept looking between you and the girls like he was watching a ping pong game.  When there was finally a lull, he looked at you. “I don’t have any plans Friday night, I can hang out, if it’s ok with you.”

“Let’s see, Captain America offers to hang out with my kids on Friday night so I can go out.  Since the background check came back clear, I guess I feel ok with that.”  He smiled. “Ok, cool.  What time do you want me.  Girls, what are we gonna do?”

The ensuing enthusiastic discussion indoctrinating Steve into the social, culinary, and entertainment preferences of his neighbors had you laughing and him looking scared as hell.  

________________________________________________________

When you emailed your ex about Friday he joked that he was more concerned for the Captain’s safety than the girls.  Conveying that message only left Steve cringing, which made you laugh even more.  Sam was cute when you told him everything was worked out and you’d meet him at 8.  You honestly had butterflies for a couple of days - that didn’t happen much anymore.  

You were thankful that you and Sam had already met - you had an abysmal history with blind dates.  Apparently, describing yourself as “plus-sized” made men think of very sexy women with small waists, big boobs, and beautiful booties - think Beyonce or Ashley Graham.  You were neither, nor were you trying to be.  You felt plenty sexy, but with a stomach, jiggly arms, and, let’s be kind, a plentiful behind.  Plagued by doubts? Yup.  Insecure?  At times. WAY more confident now that you were in your 40’s and didn’t give a single fuck about what other people thought? Hell yeah.  Still, you were nervous by the time Friday night rolled around.  

Before going, you got the girls and their friends all set up with food, entertainment options, and sleeping arrangements.  You laid down the law at least 3 times, both with and without Steve there, and you deputized him to end the night early if there were any issues, including obnoxious noise levels.  The invaders were a much smaller group tonight - no boys, only the most trustworthy and mature girls with parents who you confirmed, by FaceTime, were home and on standby.  It felt like you had prepared for a military operation by the time you sat down to put on makeup and get dressed.  

The girls all crowded around, wanting to help.  There was talk of glitter, eyeliner, red lips, high heels…..”Thanks girls, but I am meeting him for coffee and dessert.  At a diner. At 8 o’clock at night.  We’re not clubbing.  Let’s do simple, understated.”  The looks of confusion prompted a YouTube clip search for “simple plain makeup for moms,” and a prolonged discussion of pros and cons of each.  You finally agreed to sheer foundation, smoky eyes, and plum matte lipstick with a red v-neck casual sweater, new dark blue jeans, and black wedge heels that wouldn’t trip you on the short walk over.  When the process was complete, you were satisfied, and the girls dragged Steve in to give his opinion.  He looked you up and down, with his eyes briefly meeting yours.  

“You look very pretty, Stephanie.  Hope this guy is a good one.  Let me know if he’s not.

As you blushed and laughed, you thanked him and made your way out the door and promised you’d be home by midnight.  As you walked to the diner, you thought about what Steve said, and felt that flutter again.  You had learned to look out for yourself and your girls - someone looking out for your happiness was not so common.  You kept thinking about his face when he checked out your outfit, but he was such a gentleman, you wouldn’t expect less than a sweet and kind comment.

 

You arrived at 7:45 and Sam was already sitting, looking out the window.  He smiled when he spotted you.  He walked over and ushered you to your side of the booth.

“I’m sorry, we said 8 o’clock, right?  Have you been waiting long?”

“No, not at all.  Been here about 10 minutes.  I was able to hop an earlier train.  I couldn’t sit still at home so I figured I would make my way here.  The Uber only took a few minutes to pick me up.”

“Great.  Did you order?”

“Not yet.” He hesitated just a second, “You look very nice.”

“Thanks Sam. So do you.” You shared the story of your personal glam squad.

After asking the waitress what was good, you followed her advice and got peach pie and German chocolate cake with tea for you and coffee for him.  Your food arrived after a few minutes and holy yummy, Sam was right, the dessert was great.  Mutual fawning over the food made for a comfortable conversation.  Sam was brave - gently asking questions that weren’t just small talk and clearly listening to the answers.  WIth two teenage girls, it was not often that you talked about yourself.  It was nice.

“So, did you always want to be a high school counselor?”

He smiled.  “Did I just interrogate you?  Guess I never really leave work. Sorry.”

You laughed, “It was a compliment, believe me.  You were clearly listening, which in this day and age, is a lost art.”

“Thanks.  You make it easy to listen.”

This time you almost did a spit take while laughing.  “Is that an extremely diplomatic way of saying I talk too much?”

A deep laugh made his face brighten again as he looked at you.  Finally, he looked away, searching for the waitress and gesturing for the check.  You looked around, honestly surprised when you realized the diner was about to close for the night.

“Whoa, I didn’t realize what time it was.  Guess I had a good time.”

“Well, I don’t have to guess.  I know I had a good time. Thanks for meeting me.”

You walked out together after a brief disagreement about who was paying.  It ended with you agreeing to let him pay but you would leave the tip.  You left a good-sized one, given the perfect suggestions the waitress made.

“Do you live close by? I’d like to walk you home, if that’s ok?”

“Just a few blocks. That would be nice, thank you.” You walked in a comfortable silence, enjoying the beautiful night.

You stopped in front of your building and said you’d wait with him until his Uber arrived.  He gave you a chaste peck on the cheek which you reciprocated.  As it pulled away, he texted you, thanking you for a nice night.  You responded similarly, and smiled on your way upstairs.  

 

You quietly unlocked the door and closed it behind you.  Walking towards the girls’ rooms you saw the same number of sleeping bags that were there when you left.  Good. If Steve didn’t have to kick anyone out, the night must’ve gone relatively well.  You kissed your hand and gently laid it on one daughter’s head, then the other, mouthing a good night wish.

Steve was reading on the couch, a single light nearby, with a soda on the end table. You smiled, “There was beer in the fridge, you know. You didn’t have to drink soda.”

He put his index finger up to his lips and motioned for you to follow him.  Knowing the girls were asleep and all was well, you fell in line behind him.  He waited until he walked into the hall and unlocked his door before speaking.

“Wanna come in?”

“Sure.  I can’t wait to hear about how the night went.  I’m dying to know what Captain America learned about modern teenagers tonight.”  

“How about you? You’re smiling, so if I had to guess, I’d say you had a good time?”

“Yes, it was nice.  Low key. I don’t know that we’ll go out again, but it was nice.”

“Great.”  Something about the way he said that made you glance his way, but given how late it was and the female hurricane he had braved, you dismissed it.

 

“So, tonight?  You made it through I see.”

“Yeah.  It was fine.  Actually, it was fun. The girls pretty much watched movies, ate pizza, talked nonstop both to each other and to me, and texted each other - all at the same time.  Do you know they text each other when they’re sitting side-by-side?”

“Ugh, yes.  I can’t stand that.  I’m glad that it was a drama-free night.  Did Gabbi and Lizzy fight?  Sometimes that happens when they each have friends over at the same time.”

“Nothing too serious.  I’ve seen a lot worse.”

“I believe I’ve just heard the understatement of the year.”  His return smile was tired, but full.

 

“Steve, I can’t thank you enough for being here tonight.  I am sure you turned down great plans to do this, and I thank you.  Please let me take you out for dinner, to show my appreciation?”

“That’s not necessary, Steph.  You might find it hard to believe, but my social calendar is pretty much open, other than hanging out with Bucky and working.”

“Well, think about dinner.  The girls are at their Dad’s tomorrow night, and I’d like to repay your kindness.  I’ll check with you?”

“Ok, sure.  Thanks.  Have a great night, Steph.”

 

After you wished him goodnight in return and walked over to your apartment, you realized that, for the first time, he called you Steph.  That flutter was back again.  You took off your makeup, hung up your clothes, and taped a piece of paper on your bedroom door that asked for quiet until at least 9am. You were caught off guard when thoughts of Steve popped up  - his face when he saw you getting ready, his voice when he talked to you, calling you Steph.  For once in your life, you didn’t overthink, just smiled before falling asleep.  Next door, Steve heard a text alert and saw Bucky’s name.

 

“Hey punk, how was babysitting tonight?”

“Fine, and they're not babies.”

“Did Stephanie have fun on her date?”

“She said it was nice. Not sure they’ll go out again, but she had fun.”

“Great!  And what did you say?”

“I said lots of things.”

“You are a real piece of work, Stevie.  You know what I mean.  Did you say anything to her that gave her some clue that you would like to take her out sometime?”

“No, you jerk, of course not.  Why would I do that?  I told you, we are just friends.”

“Yeah, and you just got in a couple of “little” scrapes when you were a scrawny runt.  You’re being an idiot.”

“Shutup Buck, I’m going to bed.  Talk to you later.”

“You know I’m right.  I’m always right.  Night punk”


	5. Life Happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You told yourself you just wanted to thank him for helping you out with your kids, but then you started acknowledging, to yourself, that maybe you wanted more than that, but you weren't sure how Steve felt. Steve was going through the same thing, wanting to maintain your friendship, but wanting to see if your feelings mirrored his. Thank goodness for Bucky, who finally talked Steve into taking the first step towards sharing his feelings with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta daaaa! Fluffiness and happiness are finally here. I am loving writing this series, and so glad you all are enjoying it. Many, many thanks to @MsZombieCake and @MsEnglish101 for supporting me, giving me wonderful feedback, and helping me make this better. Stay tuned. Lots left of this romance.

One great thing about living with teenagers is that the mornings were usually quiet.  This was good today because even though you had slept later than usual, you woke up thinking and it always helped to do that in peace.  You were always thinking, but what was odd was that your mind was on two men, instead of the minutiae that usually occupied your brain.  You were out late the night before, having a nice, but ultimately platonic, date with Sam.  He was sweet, funny, handsome, and your best friend’s brother, but you didn’t feel any sparks.  The other thought provoker was the most consistent man in your life for the last 6 months, your neighbor Steve, aka Captain America.  “Truth, Justice, and the American Way” were as much a part of him as the world thought, but he also happened to be the most gentlemanly, respectful, and honest man you’ve ever met (ok, and beautiful in a way that redefines the word).  So basically he was all the best parts of the Captain America legend mixed with qualities you never thought you’d find in one person, at least not one you could meet in real life.

Your thought party was interrupted by a text alert.  You chuckled as your best friend Maria checked in on last night’s date with her brother.  

**Maria:** SO???? How did it go?

**Steph:** ...and good morning to you, too, my dearest.  I expected to hear from you as soon as you woke up.  You’re telling me your kids let you sleep until 9?

**Maria:**  HA HA you are delusional, and mean.  I was up at 5:30 with Claire, who wanted to play “spa” and read every book in the house. She also has my eternal gratitude for waking her older sister up at the same time.  Why make everyone suffer? so I thought I’d wait and let you get some sleep.  Plus, I already talked to Sam.

**Steph:** Your brother is cute, very very sweet and a complete gentleman.  I had a really nice time.

**Maria:** You are so sweet, but you don’t have to spare me.  No sparks, huh?

**Steph:** I’m sorry love, no sparks from my end.  I assume he thought the same?

**Maria:** Yeah, he was very complimentary and said he’d love to hang out more as friends or get a chance to see you in action at work, but he wasn’t struck by lightning either.

**Steph:** Hey, that’s cool, honestly.  We had a really nice conversation, ate some absolutely f’in fabulous dessert, and I wasn’t interrupted once.  Heaven.

**Maria:**  Sounds like it to me.  

**Steph:** Alright, I gotta go.  I love you but I need coffee.

**Maria:** You going to bring your “nice neighbor” a cup?

**Steph:** Maybe :)

**Maria:** OH. MY. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Make sure you bring something sweet to help the coffee go down.

**Steph:**  You are such a filthy bitch.  I’m so lucky to have you.  Hey, do you think I should get in touch with Sam?  My internal manners coach tells me I should at least thank him for a nice time, but I don’t want to get stupid about it, since we’ll see each other again, I’m sure.  

**Maria:**  An email would be cool.  He’s really fine, and I think he meant it when he said he’d like to be friends with you.

**Steph:** ...and I’m not exaggerating when I say I would love that.  I know his sister, and she’s alright.

_________________________________________________________

You meant it when you told Steve how much you appreciated him hanging out with your daughters so you could go out. You wanted to thank him for being so generous with his time (and patience, given the gaggle of teenage girls he agreed to supervise), so you checked in with him that afternoon, after your girls left for the weekend with their Dad.

**Stephanie:** Hey - you home?

**Steve:** No. Training. Need something?

**Stephanie:** Just wanted to know if you were available to take me up on my offer of dinner tonight? I thought that I would cook instead of trying to get in at a restaurant.  Whaddya think?

**Steve:** Sorry, but Bucky said he wanted to do some extra training tonight. He says hi. 

**Stephanie:**  Ok, no worries. Well, you have a standing offer of dinner when you’re able.  Have a “great time” tonight (though I really don’t understand how that can happen).  Please say hi to Bucky for me.  Tell him he’s invited too, if he’s around.  I’d love him to meet the girls.  “Any friend of yours” kind of thing.

**Steve:** Thanks for the offer Stephanie, you have a good night too.

Bucky stopped hitting the training dummy and looked at Steve texting, which was unusual.  Then, when he did that grimace-y, angsty face after he stopped, he sighed.

“Give me your phone.”

“Huh? Why? Hey jerk!”

“Holy shit.  I thought so.  Stephanie just texted you, asking you to dinner AT HER HOUSE and you used ME and EXTRA TRAINING as the reason not go? Oh boy punk, you have got lots to learn about women.  Didn’t I teach you anything?”

“Hey, lay off! You wouldn’t understand.  I don’t want to mess up the good thing we got, Buck”

“What thing do you “got?” Sure, you’re friends, but do you want to be more? I’ve heard you talk about how great she is, how funny, how kind, and even how beautiful she is.  For cripe’s sake, I’ve even heard you say how much you like her kids.  Dude, you are smitten.”

“Buck, I don’t think she thinks of me that way.  What do they call it? I’m in the friend zone.”

After laughing for a full minute, Bucky got serious, “Steve, if you want to be more than friends, the only way it’s going to happen is if you give her some idea you’re interested.  I’ve only met her once, but she seems like the kind of gal who goes after what she wants and doesn’t want to waste time.”

Steve shook his head and hung a new punching bag.  He started beating the living hell out of it, but knew Bucky was right.  He was a coward.  He took a breath, untaped his hands, and looked at his best friend before picking up the phone.

 

“Hey Steph. Our plans changed, does the offer for dinner still stand?”  He turned away from Bucky, who was making idiotic kissing noises.

“Absolutely!  I just got back from the store.  Give me an hour or so to get things ready, so let’s say 7 o’clock?.  The only thing I don’t have is a bottle of wine.  I seem to have used all mine.  Medicinal purposes, you know. Can you stop and pick up a bottle or 2? Red?”

After he hung up, Bucky dropped his head in his hands and moaned. “You're bringing me?  First you won't go because of me, now you're bringing me along? Where did I go wrong?”

_______________________________________________________________________

After Steve’s call that warm feeling came back.  Hmmmm...you’d have to over-think that later, because you needed to cook. Good thing you bought enough for a double batch of lasagna, because you’ve seen Steve and Bucky eat, and you were no lightweight, either.  After the lasagna was in the oven and you prepped the rest of the meal, your reflection revealed food in your hair and a generally frightful appearance. 

They were probably on their way, so you texted Steve and told him you were just going to clean up a bit and then he and Bucky were more than welcome to come over.

You jumped out of the shower and thought about applying makeup. Wait. You never wear makeup (or shoes, for that matter) when you have friends over.  This called for cooler heads.

**Steph:** do you have a minute?

**Jen:** Sure hon, what’s up?

**Steph:** So, remember my “nice neighbor” Steve and his friend Bucky?

**Jen:** Yessssssssssssss :)))))))))))))))))))

**Steph:** I invited them over for dinner tonight, to thank Steve for staying with the girls last night when I went out with Sam.

**Jen:** Maria told me you went out, but no sparks.  Sorry.

**Steph:** I’m not - we had a nice time, and the dessert at the diner was incredible.  I think we’d both really like to hang out as friends, maybe even work together.

**Jen:** Well, as long as you feel ok about it, then I’m happy.  What’s up about tonight? That was nice of you.

**Steph:** I put dinner in, took a shower, and after I got dressed up I almost put makeup on like I was going out. We’re eating here.  In my apartment.  Me, Stephanie, just thought about putting on makeup to eat dinner in her own home.

**Jen:** So?

**Steph:** YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SEE THE GRAVITY OF THIS SITUATION.

**Jen:** Nope, not seeing it.

**Steph:** I barely wear makeup for work, let alone around the house.  Now I am considering wearing makeup for a friend and friend-of-friend coming over for dinner?

**Jen:** Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh, I get it - You like him!!

**Steph:** I plead the 5th, but regardless of how I feel, he’s never shown any sign that he wants more than friendship.  

**Steph:** Alright, I answered my own question. I’m not wearing makeup for him, I’m wearing it for me.

**Jen:** Whatever you have to tell yourself to help you sleep at night, sweetie. :)

**Steph:** FUCK. YOU. (I love you)

**Jen:** I love you too (YOU. [need to] FUCK.) see what I did there? 

**Steph:** sigh

**Jen:** You better update me after he leaves.  IF he leaves. LOL  HE HE HE HE

You compromised with yourself, you would wear *light* makeup.  Steve wouldn’t even notice, so it is really for you. Why you’re even rationalizing it is beyond you.  Whatever.  You slip on one of your most comfortable but nice pullovers, your last pair of clean jeans, and earrings that have always made you feel sparkly.  No shoes.  That’s where you draw the line.  You snapped a picture, sending it to Jen.

**Jen:** You look beautiful.  

**Steph:** Thanks, sweetie.

**Jen:** and you like him, go get him!

 

The knock on the door ends the crazy. 

“Come in!  It’s open!”

“No it’s not.”

As you laugh enough to bring tears to your eyes, you realize how tense you were and how much you needed to relax.  This was supposed to be a nice night, not an episode of The Bachelor.  You greet both men as you unlock and open the door, taking the wine they offer.

“Bucky, I’m so glad you could come, it’s nice to see you again.”

“Geez, Doll, thanks for inviting me.  It’s been a long time since I’ve had a home-cooked meal.  It smells incredible in here.”

“Thanks.  Why don’t you guys have a seat.  The lasagna needs to sit a bit while the garlic bread cooks.  I’ll chill the wine.  Want a beer? Steve told me what to get, so blame him if it’s not one you like, Bucky.”

“Steph, you didn’t have to go to so much trouble, especially for Bucky.”

“Hey, it’s the least I can do to thank you for staying with the girls last night, Bucky’s a bonus.  Let’s leave it at you did me a big favor and I am thanking you.  How about that?”

Steve nodded as Bucky smiled at you and asked you about your daughters, your work, and how long you’ve lived in Brooklyn, while you puttered in the kitchen.  You realized that he was just as good as Steve at getting people to talk about themselves.  It was flattering when he did it, too.  Must be their age.

Steve jumped up to help you bring the food to the table, and the three of you clinked glasses before digging in.  You gave thanks to the never-fail lasagna recipe as both men ate like it was their first meal in a week. Between bites, even Bucky opened up and talked about his life before the war, including some very choice stories about him and Steve that made you laugh.  Steve wasn’t as amused, but he smiled when he looked at the two of you. You were surprised at how calm you felt, how happy, and when Steve looked over his glass at you, how fluttery.  Geez, with the flutters, enough already.

They wouldn’t let you do the dishes (and you were not about to argue with that) so you put your feet on the couch, sipped your coffee, and watched them fling sudsy water, push each other, and generally act like teenagers.  You could not help giggling (though the three glasses of wine certainly helped).  You looked at your phone when it buzzed.

**Jen:** Having fun? ;)

**Steph:** Yes, absolutely.  Thanks for checking in and for talking through my crazy earlier.

**Jen:** Good! (and no problem)  Let me know if you teach him any new techniques tonight.

**Steph:** Ugh.  You suck.

**Jen:** and I’ve heard you do, too.  He he he

**Steph:** No comment.

“The girls?” Steve was right beside you.  Thankfully, your screen was dark.  “No, my friend Jen from the other night.  Checking in.”  Looking up, you noticed Bucky getting his coat on.

“Bucky, you’re not leaving? You haven’t had dessert.”

“Yeah, I gotta go.  Early training again tomorrow and dessert would only come back to haunt me. Thank you so much for dinner, though. I haven’t had food that good in a long time. ‘Night punk, I’ll see you at the compound tomorrow?” There was definitely a smirk sent Steve’s way.

“Yeah, Buck. Can we make it 8 o’clock?”

“Sure punk.  Have fun.”

As you walked him to the door, he let you kiss his cheek as he thanked you again.  “I hope I see you soon, Bucky.” Your phone rang as he walked toward the elevator.

“Hi Mom! How are you?” It took you a minute to switch gears.  You turned to Steve sitting on the couch, raised your finger and mouthed, “GIRLS - ONE MINUTE.” as you closed the door to your room for their nightly recap and goodnights.

When you came out, Steve was sitting on your couch with his back to you, drinking coffee and looking out your window at the dark.  Your heart started racing.  These weren’t flutters anymore.  These were handsprings and flips and other acrobatic moves you hadn’t experienced in a very long time.

Of course he heard you open the door, but he didn’t turn around or say anything.  You picked up your coffee and sat down next to him.  For once, you didn’t say anything, even though you really wanted to calm your nerves with a good old-fashioned monologue.

 

“I had a really nice time tonight, Steph.  Just to see Bucky open up, smile, laugh, talk….that doesn’t happen much with anyone other than me.  He clearly felt safe here.  Thank you for that.”

“You’re welcome.  I’m glad that he felt comfortable enough to enjoy the evening.  How about you? Were you comfortable?”

He turned to look at you.  Ok, you were officially done.  Thank goodness it was dark, because he would have seen the deep flush creeping down your neck and chest.

“I’ve felt comfortable here since the first time you invited me.  Maybe it was because you didn’t see me as anything other than your neighbor, maybe because I knew right away you were a good and decent person and a great mom….How about you? Do you feel comfortable with me?”

Your natural inclination to be a smart-ass was nowhere to be found.  You could not have him looking at you like that for one more second, so you started talking as you stood up and walked towards the window, opening it up a bit. As you looked out, it was easy to say all the things you’d been thinking.

“Yes, I do, but….”

“What?” He was off the couch, walking towards you, keeping his eyes on you so intensely you felt naked.

“I don’t just feel comfortable.  I feel safe.  I feel happy, calm, excited.”

You almost stopped breathing when he put his hand under your chin and turned your face towards him. 

“Excited about what?” his voice was very quiet and very deep.  His fingers moved from your face, trailing down your arm, his eyes locked on you as he closed the gap between you.  

You couldn’t help but look down….“Excited when you are here with me, excited to see you when I open the door and you’re there, excited to see how kind and patient you are with my kids….excited because my heart flutters when you look at me for more than a few seconds….”

“I feel that way, too.” and his lips were on yours.  His lips, which tasted like wine and chocolate, were pressing against yours as he wrapped his arms around your ample waistline and pulled you as close as was possible with clothes on.  You kissed back, opening your mouth to taste even more, bringing your arms around his neck and moving your hands up and down over the back of his head.  Suddenly you were very very hot and pulled away to breathe. He kept his hands where they were and leaned his forehead against yours.  “Was that ok?”  You had to softly laugh, “Yes, Steve, that was more than ok...it was perfect.” He took that as a sign to lean in again, one which you eagerly encouraged.

 

You led him back to the couch and got you each a drink - water, this time.  You smiled again, unable to will yourself not to, and sat down, tucking your feet under his legs and leaning your head back against the armrest.  “Uh-huh.  Come here.” and pointed to his lap. 

 

“Oh no, you don’t want me to do that.” 

“Yes, I do.”

“Steve, please.  I’ll crush you.  I don’t want the amputation of Captain America’s legs to be on my head.”

He stood up, gently pushed your feet to the floor and pulled you up by your hands.  He sat back down and pulled you in.  “I think you’re forgetting that I’m pretty strong.  Even if I thought you would hurt me, I’d still want you to sit, but you won’t hurt me.  I promise.”

Your heart was pounding.  He just kissed you for the first time 5 minutes ago and he’s already pushing you out of your comfort zone? Geez.  Thank God he’s really persuasive.  And cute.  You gently straddle his legs, trying not to drop all your weight on him, but he wasn’t having that.  He pulled you down firmly and brought you forward until your belly was against his torso. He wasn’t kidding, he was strong.  While he kissed you, he put his hands on the back of your sweater, pulling it up.  He murmured into your neck, “Is this ok?” Your answer was to unbutton his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders and kissing wherever you could - his face, jaw, neck, chest. He got your sweater off, both of you breathing heavy.  Everything stopped when he saw your lacy purple bra.

 

“Steph, maybe we should slow down.” 

You laid your forehead on his right shoulder and sighed.  “You’re right. Sorry. Guess I got carried away.”

“You weren’t the only one.”  He leaned his head back and made you look at him, again.  What was it with the eyes? Was this part of his superpowers?

“Steph, there is almost nothing more I want right now than to spend the night with you.  I just don’t want you to think that that’s all I want.”  You suggestively asked him what he did want.  

“I want to take you on a real date.  I want to take you somewhere nice and show you off.  I want you to feel appreciated and romanced.”  Swooning was not a strong enough word to describe your feelings.  Was “Super Swoon” a word?

“Wow, ok, well that goes to show that the fastest way to get in my bed is to tell me you want to wait to get in my bed.  Run, run now from the madness - you run fast…”

 

He cut you off with a laughing kiss, which you returned.  Your wandering hands moved wherever they could reach, which helped you figure out that the Super Solider is ticklish.  After you moved off his lap, you pulled him up and walked with him towards the door.

“Am I leaving?’

“You don’t have to, but Bucky said you’ve got training tomorrow, and I figured you need sleep….”

“Bucky lied.  He only said that as an excuse to leave and give us time alone. I have no plans for tomorrow, other than my run, and taking you out.  What are you up to?”

“I’ve got to do a couple of device demos for work.  That’ll take me a few hours, and then all the weekly prep for me and the girls.”

“How about I come by about 6 o’clock?”

“That sounds great.  The only thing I need to know is the dress code - is it a dress and strappy shoes kind of place, jeans and pullover, shorts and t-shirt?

“That’s fair.  I can tell you that tomorrow, once I make the reservation.”

“There’s one problem.  I can’t wait that long to kiss you again.”

“You won’t have to,” as he pulled you closer, his lips and hands everywhere, making you lose your damn mind.

 

**Maria, Jen, and Ally:** IT IS 11pm and we haven’t heard from you!!!  WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OVER THERE?

**Steph:** lksdmlszdkxfmejrgbnzdfv

**Maria, Jen, and Ally:** WOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!!  Have fun girl, you deserve it. Talk to you tomorrow.  Love you.

 

**Bucky:** Steve, please tell me you’re still at her place.

**Bucky:** Steve?

**Bucky:** Hehehe thatta boy.  Good job, punk.


	6. The First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that you had admitted your feelings to each other, you and Steve were in the “can’t get enough of each other,” phase. Your new sizzle leads to starts and stops, prods from your friends, winks from his, and his promise to take you on a real date. Your first date was simple, beautiful, magical, and romantic. It was everything both of you ever wanted, and didn’t know you needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well folks, here it is. My first attempt at smut - please let me know how I did. It was definitely fun to write and I love how the characters’ relationship is evolving. This chapter is really long, so please let me know if you feel I could have cut it. There’s definitely more to this story on the way, so stay tuned. Thanks for reading!

When you  opened your eyes, you didn’t need any time at all to remember last night, or to smile, laugh, and hum at the thought of Steve running his incredibly large hands over places on your body that hadn’t gotten attention in a long while, how his mouth found other places that made you make noises that you’ve never made before, and how his eyes made your heart melt.  It was a VERY nice night.

You stretched, found your glasses, and reached for your phone.  You did a double take when you saw you had almost 20 messages.  You quickly opened up iMessage and breathed a sigh of relief, nothing serious from Lizzy and Gabbi, just the normal selfies and shots of enormous bowls of ice cream their Dad treated them to.  Then last night’s message from your best friends Maria, Jen, and Ally, which you had answered incoherently while otherwise occupied had at least 12 responses.

**Maria:**  
IT IS 9 O’CLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING.  WHERE ARE YOU???  Is HE WITH YOU???

**Ally:** I’m betting she’s at her place and he’s at his.  10 bucks if I’m right?

**Jen:** No bet.  You’re right.

**Maria:** I third that, no bet.  My guess is there was a whole lot of heavy breathing followed by some deep, intense discussion about why they needed to “take things slowly.”

**Ally:** Yup

**Jen:** No doubt

**Maria:** I am going to call you by 10am if you don’t answer.  Maybe he went off the rails and you’re kidnapped.

**Jen:** Maybe she’s not kidnapped, just tied up. ;)

**Ally:** F’IN AWESOME Jen

**Maria:** Yes, awesome.  Considering she’s probly not fucking, I’ll just say, AWESOME.

**Steph** : Morning :)

**Maria, Jen, and Ally:** AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  SHE LIVES!!!!

**Steph:** Yes, I live. LOL. In fact, I’m L-I-V-I-N

**Jen:** And she even slips a Wooderson reference in there? HOLY SHIT!  She definitely got laid.  DEFINITELY.

**Maria:** Hmmmmm?????

**Ally:** I still say no.  She’s just trying to throw us off the trail.

**Steph:** LOL.  Thank God I love you guys, because I’d really hate you otherwise.  I haven’t even had my coffee yet and I’m already this deep into this chat.

**Maria:** Spill.  Now.  The whole story.

**Steph:** Guys, I just woke up.  If I was in your place, I’d want to know every single detail, too.  I promise I will tell you all today, in excruciating detail, but I need coffee first (and I need to see if Steve texted me =^_^=) he he he

**Ally:** She’s already “he he he”’ing?” Uh oh.

**Maria:** Seriously though, we’ve all seen him.  If his personality is only HALF as amazing as his body, I’d be blushing.

**Steph:** You’d be buying a pregnancy test by now, you slut!

**Jen:** BUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRNNNNNNNNN

**Ally:** Ok, just give us one thing before you check in with your new sweetie.  Did you sleep together?

**Steph:** It’s a good thing you didn’t bet.  We didn’t.  And Maria, how the fuck did you know we talked about “taking things slowly?”  Nevermind, don’t answer that.  Can we do a group call in an hour or so?

**Maria:** Because I am a genius of love, that’s how I knew.  It’s only going to take you an hour to give him a morning BJ?

**Steph:** OMG you guys are such trash.  I can’t believe that I love you as much as I do.  Thank you :)  Talk to you in about an hour.

God, you loved them.  Your life was infinitely funnier, better, and more confident since you met them.  You were always so grateful to whatever deity put you in each other’s lives. You held your breath, closed your eyes (which was dumb because you needed them to read the screen) and clicked on the unread messages screen.  You were not disappointed. Three messages from Steve, one from last night and two from this morning (one actually from about 3 minutes ago!).

**Steve:** Tonight was a big deal.  Thank you.  I really wish you weren’t so responsible, sometimes, I’m having a very hard time falling asleep.

**Steve:** Good morning beautiful.  I’m going for a run.  I have to burn off some of this excess energy leftover from last night.

**Steve:** Look outside your door.

Well, to heck with the rest of the messages (which actually appeared to be from an unknown number, anyway). You looked in the mirror, ran your fingers through your hair, made sure everything was at least covered, and walked REALLY QUICKLY to the door.  When you opened it, you almost cried from happiness.  There it was, a large decaf latte with whole milk.  Just for you.  You definitely squealed, and maybe jumped.  Then, deciding to risk Steve seeing you in your natural morning state, you knocked on his door.  No answer.  Probably taking a shower.  You ran into your apartment, wrote a note on a big piece of paper and slipped it under his door.  Weren’t you two too cute for words.  If you weren’t the one doing it, you definitely would’ve gagged.  You lovingly brought the coffee into your apartment, and texted Steve a selfie with you kissing the cup and “YOU ARE THE BEST, THANK YOU” imprinted on it.  

As you were about to delete the texts from the unknown number, you saw Bucky’s name.  Huh.

**781-555-1212:** Morning Doll. In case you’re wondering, it’s me, Bucky.  I got your number from your website, and I may have also stolen it from Steve’s phone last night when he wasn’t looking.  Just wanted to thank you for dinner, and for making Steve happy.  You really do.  Even before last night.  :)

**Bucky:** I also wanted to let you know that if you need anything, you can always call me.  Anytime.

**Steph:** Wow, Bucky, thank you.  He makes me really happy, too.  Believe me, I’ll definitely be in touch.  I hope you’re comfortable texting, because that’s probably how you’ll hear from me most often.

**Bucky** : Good morning doll! That punk better have treated you right last night, or I’ll have to kick him into next week.

**Steph:** He did, Buck, no kicking required.  I gotta get going on some work projects.  I’ll talk to you soon.  Have a good day!

**Bucky:** You too doll.

Now that your messages were all answered, your coffee was in your hand, and you were a bit more awake, you ate some breakfast and set up for your work projects.  Device - check, iPad and camera - check, repeatedly looking at your phone to see if you missed something from Steve - check, check, and check.  Finally (though it had only been about 10 minutes since you slipped the note under his door).

**Steve:** Morning beautiful.

**Steph:** Good morning, oh bringer of life-giving-coffee.  I was going to say, “my hero,” but I think you’ve heard that a few times.  Wouldn’t be special enough.

**Steve:** Wanna come over?

When he opened his door a minute later, “Too quick, maybe?”

“Nope, absolutely not.  Come on in. By the way, cute note.”

“Honestly, I almost cried when I saw the coffee.  A kiss on a piece of paper is the least I could do.”

“Well, I’d agree.  It was the very least. I haven’t eaten yet, want something?”

“What a perfect opening Captain.  Note my sexy voice - “Why yes, I do.”

“You always make me laugh.  Does that ruin the mood?”

“Nope.  Only makes me want to hear you laugh more often.”

You stepped towards him first, this time.  He had on sweatpants and a t-shirt, his hair still wet from the shower.  He smiled down at you while he wrapped his arms around you, not wasting any time with tentative kisses.  He pulled you to him, hard, and started walking you back towards the couch.  “Did the run help you burn off that leftover ‘energy’?”  

“Nope, not at all. I was hoping you could help with that.”

“Well you know me, I’m a helper.” You ended up on your back on his couch with him not-so-gently laying on top of you.  “Are you ok, I’m not hurting you, am I?” he asked with sincerity.  It wasn’t anything you wanted to stop, so you shook your head and grabbed his t-shirt….pulling it up and over his head.  He went to do the same thing to your shirt, but you stopped him.

“I just want you to know, I don’t wear a bra under my pajamas.  So, if you’re thinking about taking it slowly, this might be the time to stop.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“Absolutely not.  For now, anyway.”

 

Your shirt is off in less than a minute.  Steve sits up and stares at you, swallowing hard.  You sit up, stroking his arms,  but look down. INSECURITY ALERT!

“So yeah….this is me.  A body that’s had children, that likes dessert, and that isn’t a pinup girl or a lethal weapon.  I’m not trying to ruin the mood, but I’d rather know now if my body isn’t…..your idea of…..”

“Gorgeous.”

“What?”

“You.  Your body.  All of it.  Is my idea of gorgeous.  Sexy.  Beautiful.”

 

There was no going slow now.  You pressed your entire upper body against his, the feeling of your bare skin against his was indescribable.  It just made you want every part of him on you, in you, with you.  Steve’s hands, mouth, teeth were everywhere at once, making you lose the ability to think.  He attacked your neck and chest with his teeth, leaving bruises. When he finally reached your breasts, you could hardly control your body.  He looked up at you, his eyes locking on yours while his tongue grazed across your left, then, your right nipple.  Your hips bucked, barely moving Steve’s solid body, while he took one breast, then another, into his mouth.  You couldn’t control the noises you made, and you could feel his absolutely massive girth against your leg.  Breathing was getting difficult, as you pulled Steve up to kiss him again.  

 

“Steve, wait,” barely squeaked out of your mouth, while he continued to run his fingernails lightly over your nipples and kiss you.

“What babe?”

“What you said last night still holds true, I think.  That you don’t want this thing between us just to be about sex.  I mean, I am a full and willing participant here, but I just don’t want…..”

“What?” He sat back.  Not withdrawn, but truly looking and listening while holding your hands in his.

“I’m not sure how to say what I’m thinking” You laughed at yourself, “that is rare - you should be commended.”  He smiled, but wasn’t getting distracted from whatever it was you were trying to say.

“Tell me.  If you say stop, we stop.  If you want to keep going, then I will consider myself the luckiest man in Brooklyn right now.  Whatever we decide, it’s fine.  It won’t change how I feel, or how I felt last night. Believe it or not, being almost 100 years old helps you with perspective.  This is amazing and right, but it’s right now, not forever. I’m not going anywhere.”

 

For a soldier, this guy was great with words.  “Thank you.  That is just what I wanted to hear, but I didn’t know it until you said it.” You leaned into him, kissing him with every ounce of gratitude you could convey.  He pulled you close, letting your bare skin move against his chest, breathing deeply and closing his eyes.

 

After a few more much less frantic kisses, getting dressed, and eating breakfast, you went back to your place.  There was work you had to do, and it would be impossible for you to focus if you were in the same space.  Before you started, though, you kept your promise to your friends and called them.  You spilled the whole story, including this morning’s fun and angst, and were regaled with advice on positions, timing, lingerie, even preferred brands of condoms.  They had you roaring by the end of the call and wondering out loud if there were condoms big enough to meet Steve’s “needs.”  When you finally hung up, you felt less needy, less crazy, more confident.  You felt more like you.  God, you loved those women.

 

After digging in and doing the work projects you needed to do, you realized in the middle of all the filming, editing, captioning and finalizing you hadn’t eaten in 4 hours.  That simply would not do.  While getting up to stretch, scroll through Twitter, and check your fridge, you saw a piece of paper that had been slipped under your door.  Surprised you didn’t see it earlier, you read the note with a smile.

 

“Hey beautiful.  Hope you’re getting all your work done, because starting at 1800 hours, you are all mine.  You can wear jeans and a sweater.  This is an overnight trip, so bring a jacket, pajamas/nighttime stuff, and a change of clothes for tomorrow.  So, no makeup required, you’re welcome.  Though I know you want to ask questions, all I ask is that you trust me.”  Steve

 

After shoving lunch in your face and resisting every urge to chat with Steve, you saw it was almost 5 o’clock.  You called your girls and John to let them know you might be out of cell range tonight, but as soon as you knew the number where you were, you’d let them know.  You deflected their many questions gently, and told them you loved them both big as the whole wide world before saying goodbye and getting ready.  

 

Everything on the list was in your suitcase, including the “extras” your friends mentioned earlier.  You looked at yourself in the mirror.  This was you.  Messy ponytail, sweater and jeans with sneakers, no makeup.  You never claimed to be a fashionista, and you had to remind yourself that since you met him, Steve had seen you like this and worse.  This was nothing new, even though “this” was very new.  Damn, it was going to be hard to reconcile your brain from your heart and the flood of hormones or endorphins or whatever that was unleashed last night.

 

You were always punctual (15 minutes early, if truth be told) and you loved that he was the same.  At 1750 hours you were cleaning up from lunch and there was a knock on your door.  “It’s open - honest!” You turned briefly to him and smiled, then turned back to the sink for just a minute, which was all he needed to come up behind you, wrap his arms around your waist, and start kissing your neck.  

 

“Is this the first part of our first date? Because this would be ok with me.”

  
“No, this is just the warm up.”  He put his hand on your waist and turned you towards him, while you tried to move the hair out of your face.  He gently pulled your hands down and moved in to gently kiss you.  You immediately responded with your hands around the back of his neck,  stroking his hair, at which point he pulled back and smiled, “Let’s go.  It’s going to take awhile to get there.” “Hey, how come you don’t have any bags?  His smiled secretively “I told you, just trust me.”

 

When you got downstairs to the lobby, you started to get very nervous.  Steve rode a motorcycle and you were deathly afraid of it.  You didn’t want to stop the night before it started, but you knew you’d have a panic attack if you tried to ride on the back of the bike.  “I’m just going down to the garage.  Meet me out front in a minute, ok?”  Your head started to spin, and you used every bit of energy to focus and breathe, just focus, and breathe.  You walked outside with the bags, and saw a very nice extended cab truck pull up with Steve behind the wheel.  Your face must have clearly shown how relieved you were.

 

“Tony let me borrow the truck he keeps at his country place for the maintenance staff.  With the bags, I knew we’d need more room than the bike had. Also, I remember you said you were scared of riding on it.  One of these days I hope you’ll let me show you there’s nothing to be afraid of, but until then….”

 

“Thanks.  I was worried.  I don’t think you need to see me have a panic attack this early on in our…..whatever this is.”

 

When you got on the highway out of town, Steve reached for your hand and gently asked, “In 2 days I’ve noticed you’ve said “whatever this is” more than once to describe our relationship.  Why?”  

Ok, so we’re doing this.  You took a deep breath and got ready to explain the weirdly passive-aggressive labeling system that mirrored your insecurity.

“Long story short.  Labeling indicates permanence, permanence scares guys, scared guys usually means retreating guys, retreating guys = no more label required.  Therefore, labeling = no more labeling required.”  You had to laugh at yourself.  Though you’d experienced it before (as had many of your friends), that explanation sounded absurd.  You kept laughing, and Steve smiled and chuckled along.  He turned towards you a bit, while keeping his eyes on the road.  You didn’t let absurdity stop you, no.

“Well, that was….scientific? Most people think commitment is scary.  When people first start dating, it’s easy to get wound up and carried away by the physicality, the newness, and to make wedding plans before you’ve had your first fight.  I don’t want to do that, Steve.  I want to be smart.”

“There’s smart, and then there’s scared, Steph.  I don’t think you can always be smart and safe.  At some point you gotta go all in, which leaves you open to get hurt.  THAT is what scares me. Why do you think it took me more than 6 months to work up the courage to kiss you and tell you how I felt?  I was scared that you wouldn’t feel the same and it would mess up our friendship.”

 

You didn’t say anything, an increasingly common occurrence in the last two days.  

 

“Is that it? Are you scared?”

“Yes.”

“Of what?”

“Really? You’re asking me to tell you my insecurities already? Geez Cap, I don’t know if I can be that open this soon.  Usually I let guys find out how insecure I am over the course of several months.”

“I’ve never seen you insecure.”

“Woo hoo!  The acting classes worked!”

“Stephanie.”

“Whoa.  The full first name.  Before long you’ll need to use the middle name, too.”

“Come on, talk to me.”

“Alright.  Well, this is a fantasy, right? I mean, my next door neighbor is a built, beautiful, caring and sweet guy who is nice to teenagers and doesn’t mind noise.  That doesn’t just happen.  Then, that guy tells me he’s the world’s greatest soldier.  Nope, that doesn’t happen either. Then, that guy kisses me and says I’m gorgeous.  I’ve been in relationships before.  That DOES. NOT. HAPPEN. TO. ME.  So, I’m just hoping to not come across as a completely needy maniac until I wake up from the fantasy.”

 

He slowly pulled over to the side of the road and took the key out of the ignition.  He turned towards you, turned your face from the window to face him, and kissed you, hard.

 

“Stephanie Elizabeth, this is not a fantasy.  I am real.  I am here - but if this is going to work we have to be on the same page.  I fell for you when you joked with me, pushed me, helped me, and were kind and decent to me.  Do I see why you would be insecure? Yes. I’m not a complete dope.  Do I care about your weight? Not in the least.  Deep down, I am still the scrawny runt with asthma that women ignored and men pounded on.  I am not going to change - believe me, I’m 99 years old, it ain’t going to happen.  I suspect that who you are is pretty well set up, too.  So - you don’t need to be insecure, you just need to trust me and talk to me and I’ll do the same.”

“Ok.  Deal. No punches pulled and no passive-aggressive bullshit.”  “Oops, sorry, bad word.”

He kissed you again, biting on your bottom lip, and whispered, “You’re going to say lots of bad words tonight.”  

“I have one question.  How did you know my middle name?”

“I’m a man who knows how to get things, including information.  Your kids told me.”

“YOU KNOW SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION?!?!? That is one of my favorite movies, and of course they told you.  They’ve been trying to set us up for months.”

 

The rest of the drive was perfect.  It had been almost 2 hours when he pulled into a driveway with a heavily secured gate.  He spoke to the guard on the intercom, placed his hand on the pad, and was buzzed in.  As he drove towards the building, you realized where you were.

 

“Whoooooooaaaaaaaa. Is this “THE” Compound?” Your eyes must have looked like a kid on Christmas morning.

“Yes. I thought about lots of places for our first real date, but Bucky chimed in and helped me decide.  I hope you don’t mind that I talked to him about it.”

“It was a wonderful idea, I’ve been wondering what this place looks like, and of course I don’t mind.  Did you know he texted me this morning? It was so sweet.”

“I didn’t know he knew how to text.  I’m impressed.”

 

He showed you a bit of the grounds as you walked into the building.  It was massive, it was intimidating, it was the freaking Avengers compound, and you were on a date here with Captain America.  Yup, this was as surreal as things could possibly get.  You showed you to the guest quarters, which were nicer than your apartment.

 

“I thought you could have a few minutes to freshen up.  I just have to grab something from the kitchen and we’ll have dinner and….” he left with that shit-eating grin plastered on his face.  You took a minute to look around in awe, then got dressed, brushed your hair and your teeth, and put on some lipstick (even though he said you didn’t have to, he wasn’t the boss of you).  You grabbed your jacket and stood on the balcony, taking in the enormity.

 

Even though he could have just walked in, he knocked first.  You turned your head towards him smiling and feeling peaceful. He walked up to you, took your hand, and led you towards one of the outside doors, where the truck was waiting.  The back was packed, but you weren’t allowed to look under the blanket.  You were proud of yourself, you had not asked him a single question about tonight.  Honestly, it got easier as the night went on and you did as he asked, trusted him.

 

It was a short drive to a clearing overlooking a lake.  When you got out, the view made you gasp and instinctively walk towards the water.  Growing up within an hour of hundreds of miles of ocean-front beaches had instilled a love of the calm and beauty that water brings, particularly at night.  You felt like you had to whisper.

 

“This is unbelievable, Steve.” The stars were brighter than you’d seen in a long time, thanks to the lack of man-made light pollution.  There was just enough wind to ripple the water. Steve had quietly walked up beside you and laced his hand through yours.  Laying your head on his shoulder felt like the most natural thing in the world, as did the kiss he placed on your forehead.  

“Come and sit with me.”  He had a picnic basket and started walking towards the dock, while you stayed transfixed on the scenery.  Your silence had him chuckling as he set up the picnic.  It looked delicious.

“You look mesmerized.” You broke out of your trance and looked at him and the beautiful picnic.  The food looked delicious, there was wine, and battery-powered camping lanterns around the blanket.  Steve was sitting next to you, looking for approval with questioning eyes. You couldn’t believe this was for you.  “Steve, this is perfect.  Thank you for taking such care - the food looks delicious and I love lantern-light, it makes everything seem beautiful.”  You leaned into each other for a deep, lingering kiss.  You couldn’t stop from sighing, leaning into the crook of Steve’s neck.

 

You eventually ate dinner.  It was delicious, having been prepared by one of the compound’s  chef.  After you’d picked up all the picnic items, Steve helped you up into the back of the truck, where he had laid a blanket and placed the lanterns around.  “I’ve got to thank Tony - he helped make this night perfect.” “Well, he’s not going to be responsible for the entire night’s perfection,” sending a flash of heat straight through you.  

Steve turned on his side and leaned on his forearm, “I’ve never seen you more peaceful, more beautiful than you are now.  It’s unbelievable.”  You smiled back as he leaned towards you and kissed you, your left arm moving around his shoulders and encouraging him to roll on top of you.  He took his time kissing you, trailing his fingers down your cheek, your jaw, your neck.  He followed his fingers with his mouth, making you laugh when he tickled your neck.  He didn’t try to take any of your clothes off, and he deflected your attempts to do so to him.  When he saw you scoot back and start to ask a question, he looked at you and said, “Remember, trust me.”  He continued to move his clothed body on top of yours, slowly and gently, helping you relax and be there, with him, without thinking about anything else.  Eventually, when he could see you were getting frustrated, he looked at you and spoke.

 

“I want to be with you, in you, against you.  Tonight, but not here.  This was just a preview.”

“Yes.  Now.”

 

When you got back to your room, you asked him for 10 minutes, to get ready.  “You are ready, I made sure of that.”  

“You did, but I have a surprise.  Just give me 10 minutes.  You’ll like it.”

 

Before you walked out of the bathroom to a waiting Steve, you took a deep breath, made sure your pinned-up hair was in place, and that the deep purple silk underwear and nightgown were where you wanted them, and that you had the condoms you packed. 

When you walked out, you were disoriented for a minute.  The lights were very low, with the same lanterns from earlier set in a path to the bedroom.  The room felt comfortably warm in your sheer lingerie and you could hear Yo-Yo Ma’s Bach Cello Concerto playing from your “Favorites” playlist in the background.  Damn, this guy was good.  

After walking into the bedroom in a semi-dramatic fashion that you hoped didn’t look stupid, you were surprised to find the room empty.  You followed the path, right? This was the bedroom, right?  Then you looked outside to the balcony.  He was there, looking at the stars, waiting for you.  Your heart flipped and beat faster as you walked toward him, opened the door and put your arms around his waist, leaning your cheek against his back and then leaving kisses where you could, as you moved your hands over his shoulders and his arms.  “Thank you for a wonderful first date.”

 

He turned around and smiled when he saw your outfit. “You look so sexy, Steph.  You’re right, I like my surprise.” To hear him say “my surprise” almost caused your legs to give out. He wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted to bring your mouth closer to his.  You turned and walked into the room with him, and sitting at the foot of the bed, he watched you while you stood in front of him and took off your nightgown.  He held onto your hips and pulled you towards him, kissing your stomach and moving his hands up to your chest. He kissed your breasts through the fabric, then smiled when he saw it was a front-closure that he could easily undo.  He stood and took off his t-shirt and held you to him while you kissed and explored each other.  His hands returned to your hips as he pulled down your panties while you moaned.  Some of that not-so-old insecurity came back for a moment but his kisses over your entire body ended it.   

 

While he was on his knees, kissing everywhere he could, you took his face in your hands and made him look at you.  “Stand up, please.”  You walked around him and kissed down his back, pulling his sweatpants down, shocked to see he wasn’t wearing boxers.  You ran your fingernails lightly over his ass, telling him how beautiful he was, how strong.  You followed your nails with your tongue, feeling a swell of pride as he grunted and struggled to stay still.  When you stood up, he turned toward you, pulled your hair and devoured your mouth as you trailed your fingers down his chest and lower stomach, teasing his cock and relishing the primal sounds he was making.

 

You laid down on the bed, and while he climbed on top of you, you got a condom out of the drawer.   He smiled with surprise as he also took one out of the nightstand on the other side of the bed. You both laughed for a moment before you turned him on his back and proceeded to kiss down his entire chest and stomach on the way to his enormous cock.  You flicked your tongue at the tip, cleaning up the leaking pre-cum that was everywhere.  You moved your tongue down the underside and sucked at the base, making him grab your hair and yell some very bad words.  You used the tip of your tongue to explore his balls, going gently at first and when his hips jumped off the bed, moving with greater speed and intensity.  He was panting, yelling your name, and using absolutely filthy language to describe all the things he wanted to do to you.

 

You stopped and pulled the condom out of its wrapper, wetting your hands with your own slick to help roll it over his shaft.  He almost lost it right then and there, but grabbed your hips and rolled you under him.  He looked at you with the most passionate stare you’ve ever seen, and told you how many ways he wanted to fuck you since the moment he saw you dressed up for your date Friday night.  “When I saw how sexy you looked, I wanted to clear the room and rip every single piece of clothing off of you.  When you got home, I almost did.  Now, I will.”  He bent your right leg towards your chest and started to dip his fingers into your dripping pussy.  He was surprised at how wet you were, and quickly added more fingers, until you were screaming at how good it was.  You begged him to fuck you, and given how close he was earlier, he did not tease you, instead slowly sliding inside you, not wanting to hurt you.  He didn’t.  When he was completely in, you moved your left leg further to the side so he could fill you just that little bit more.  He leaned forward, slamming himself into you as you pulled his head down to kiss him, to show him how much this meant to you, how good it felt.  He put his bent arms on each side of your head, so your faces were touching.  He slowed down, burying his face in your neck, as you wrapped your legs around him, keeping his strokes short and deep, hitting your spot.  You never wanted him to stop, but knew you were going to explode any second.  

You knew he was almost there, but holding out for you. “Steve, let go, give it all to me, fuck me hard, make me yours.”  He slammed into you one last time, screaming your name and stiffening as he spilled into you, while your orgasm washed over you in waves, making you see stars.  He collapsed on top of you and turned you a bit to the side so you could breathe.  You held him against you tighter than you thought was possible, given how spent you were.  “Don’t pull out, stay, please, for just a minute.”

As he slid out and took care of the condom, you got up, grabbed a sweatshirt and some PJ pants and walked out to the balcony with a bottle of water.  He followed you outside, held you, and kissed your hair as you leaned back and ran your hand through his hair.  

 

“Come to bed, it’s late.”

“I will.  I just can’t seem to pull myself away from this night sky.  It’s hypnotic.  It’s so still.  I don’t think I could ever forget it.”

“I will never forget it, either.  It helped me woo you.”     
  


You turned your head, smiling, and he kissed your forehead.  He held your hand and led you back to bed.  You smiled as he kissed you, wrapped his arms around your waist, and whispered, ‘Thank you.  This was one of the most blissful nights of my life.”  As you fell asleep smiling, you felt the breeze and the night sounds filter through the screen, and felt truly content.  


	7. The Day After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your first date with Steve was epic, to say the least. The day after was just as good - meeting some of the other Avengers, getting to thank Bucky for his part in bringing you together, and more 1:1 time for the two of you. You tried to trust that the two of you would figure out how to make it work when you got back to the real world of work, kids, and day-to-day life. You knew it wouldn’t be easy, but Steve convinced you that you would do it together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing “real life” isn’t nearly as exciting as fluff and smut, but I wanted to do that (and will be doing more of it). I hope you enjoy, and keep on the lookout for the next chapters. They might come a bit slower now that the school year has started (I’m a teacher, not a student, LOL), but bare with me - this story is far from over.

A lot had happened in the last 3 days.  A date with a sweet guy that was going to stay a friend, dinner with a friend that was becoming more, and a first date that put all others to shame.  When you woke up, early as usual, you had a momentary flash of panic - it was Monday, you weren’t at work, you weren’t even in Brooklyn.  You grabbed your phone and checked your emails and calendar and let out a big breath - today was your work from home day to catch up on writing evaluations, follow up with contracts, pay bills - all the things that small-business owners had to do to stay afloat.

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe that wasn’t going to happen today, given that you were in the guest room at the Avengers upstate compound, happily waking up next to Steve Rogers.  You knew that once you woke up and looked at your phone, you weren’t going back to sleep, and since Steve didn’t move when you turned over, so you threw on some pajama pants, a t-shirt, hoodie, and your sandals and tried to find a coffee pot.  Steve had shown you around the night before, and encouraged you to ask the AI interface, FRIDAY, if you had any questions.  Once you got out in the hallway, you tentatively asked if there was somewhere you could find breakfast and coffee and within a few minutes you found yourself in a beautiful open kitchen and eating area.  You were the only one there, so you asked FRIDAY if it would be ok if you cooked.  “Of course, Miss.  I believe people will come out of the woodwork once they smell food, so be prepared.”

You took a quick inventory of the fridge and figured you had enough to make breakfast for 10, or 2 super soldiers, you, and a few other people.  Before you did anything, coffee was started.  After searching for pans and utensils, you started scrambling eggs, cooking bacon in the oven (the only way you did it now, so much easier), and whipping up a batch of the easiest drop biscuits in history.  FRIDAY was right, if you cook it, they will come.  You were ecstatic to see Bucky first, rubbing his eyes, in sweats, and generally looking confused.  “Good morning, Buck.  Want some breakfast?”

“Doll!!!  What are you doing here? Come here!” As you hugged him with all your might, you smiled up at him.  “Thanks, Bucky.”

“What for?”

“You know what for.  You’re a big reason I’m here this morning.  You helped him get up the courage to make a move.”

“He just needed a push, doll.  He knew what he wanted, just needed a reminder to get in the game instead of looking from the sidelines. Do I smell bacon?”

After he heaped food onto his plate, poured each of you a coffee and sat down, more people that you only knew from TV started wandering in, and looked at you askance.  Bucky noticed how intimidated you looked, and took the introductions upon himself.  “Sam, Natasha, Wanda, Tony, and Clint, this is Stephanie (“please call me Steph”), Steve’s new girl.”  You found it funny that you were meeting another man named Sam, within 3 days of your recent date.  

You laughed, “It’s been a long time since someone called me a girl.  Nice to meet you all.  I hope you don’t mind, but I made breakfast and coffee - I was up early and hungry.  Please help yourself.  I think I’ll go find Steve.”

They all insisted you sit and eat with them, and when you still tried to leave, saying you were concerned Steve wouldn’t know where you were, Tony reminded you this was not a problem. “FRIDAY, Is Captain Rogers awake? Please inform him where his guest is, and that he should come down to breakfast before it’s all gone.”

“Thanks FRIDAY, but I just followed my nose.” Steve walked over to you and enveloped you in his arms, whispering, “I missed you when I woke up.  Why didn’t you wake me?” You kissed his cheek in response, given that you’d just met the rest of the group and didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.  That was an unnecessary worry.

“Awwwww c’mon Cap, kiss the woman properly!”  Sam was smiling broadly, with Bucky encouraging him.  

“I don’t need any coaching, guys,” as he did what was suggested, surrounded by a variety of lewd comments and catcalls.  You turned a shade of bright red.

You all enjoyed breakfast, going through several pots of coffee as you were asked a long list of questions, from the mundane to the extremely personal.  Steve was very protective.  “Nat, really? Have you completely forgotten what it’s like to meet a regular civilian and start a normal conversation instead of interrogating them?”

The dishes were taken care of (not by you, you cooked), and you asked Steve to show you around the compound, since that wasn’t on the agenda the night before. “I will, but maybe we should change for the day and get everything ready to go.  I know John will be bringing the girls back tonight and we need to be there.” You heard “we” but for once, decided against talking about it.  The word made you smile, though.  You didn’t recognize the hallways where you were walking, but Steve told you he wanted to show you his room before stopping at yours.  You gave him a smirk and a side-eye, but kept on walking.

When he showed you his suite, something clicked. “Now I understand why you didn’t bring any bags - smart.”  He smiled and nodded, took your hand, and pulled you towards his balcony, which was bigger and looked out on the opposite side of the building than yours did.  The view was even more breathtaking, and just like the night before, you were transfixed by its stillness and beauty.  “Deja vu?” as Steve put his arms around your waist and snuggled into your neck, kissing your ticklish parts.  “This place is breathtaking.  I could look at this view all day.”  

“Me too.”  You turned to tease him for such a cheesy compliment, but he was looking at you with such sincerity, you could do nothing but kiss him.  You didn’t realize how much you missed his mouth, his hands, his body until then, and suddenly you needed all of him, now.  You were still on the balcony when he started to lift you to him and you pulled away, instead leading him to his bed.  He saw right through that, and picked you up, bridal style, which scared the hell out of you.  You really had to remember how strong he was, but it’s hard to overturn a lifetime of insecurities about your size in 4 days.  

His bed was softer than yours, and of course, smelled like him.  When he gently placed you on the bed, you smiled, turned onto your stomach and spent a minute running your hands over the soft blankets and inhaling his smell.  You were embarrassed when you saw him looking at you from the end of the bed.  You laughed and crawled over to him on your knees, and in three strides you were kneeling in front of his torso, your head even with his chest.  He pulled your hair and as your head tilted back he kissed you.  You snaked your arms around his waist, pulling his t-shirt up and watching him take it off.  God, he was beautiful.  You ran your hands over his abdominal muscles, his “v” line (having just learned what that was), and kissed everywhere you could.  You trailed your fingernails up his back and arms, licked his nipples, then blew on them.  You could’ve sworn that he growled.  He grabbed and kissed you more roughly than he had before and stripped you of your pajamas. “Last night you didn’t get a turn.  You’re going to now.”

He pushed you back on the bed with just enough force to make the mattress bounce a bit.  He climbed over you, never letting his eyes leave yours.  He kissed you, and as he moved down your body, left no place untouched.  You were already starting to lose it by the time he pushed your legs apart, holding them open with ease.  “Steve, you don’t have to….” “Shhhhhhhh.  What did I say about trusting me?”  Man, this guy was not letting you hold onto any of your old insecurities.  If it didn’t feel so mind-blowingly amazing, you might have been pissed.  “Relax.  Let me do the work, please Steph. I want to do this for you.”

Though it was an internal struggle to listen and do as he said, the minute his tongue found your folds and realized how soaking wet you already were, your mind was focused on one thing - his mouth and the way it was making you feel.  He held your ass down with both hands, and let his tongue run all over your clit.  You screamed.  Loudly.  He looked up and chuckled, noticing you had covered your mouth after.  “Don’t worry babe, I asked FRIDAY to soundproof the room when we arrived.  I noticed how loud we got last night.”  He went back to what he was doing so very well, and you grabbed his hair and pulled him towards you...feeling him bringing you to the edge, then stopping, over and over again.  Your entire body was super-sensitized as you felt your orgasm building again and again.  You begged him to not stop, to please, please, let you come again and again.  He lifted his face and moved up to kiss you.  “Please, Steve, please baby….I need it.  I need you so bad.”  He stripped instantly, slipped on the condom he had waiting and plowed into you with everything he had.  He was so hard and you were so close that you screamed as you came, your walls squeezing him again and again, setting him off.  You felt him pump into you, holding you for dear life while continuing to push your orgasm to continue.  A deep shudder ran through your body as Steve laid on top of you, not pulling out right away, as you’d asked him last night.  It took you a few minutes to breathe normally again and open your eyes without seeing stars. “Oh my fuck, that was amazing.  Thank you love.  You are really REALLY good at that.” He smiled sheepishly, clearly impressed with himself, and kissed you.  

“Steve, as much as I’d like to stay in bed with you all day…..”

“I know, why don’t we both hop in the shower to save time.”

Though you had never liked showering with previous partners, you thought it wouldn’t hurt to try again.  You were both so spent that there was little chance of a part two right away, at least from your perspective.  He was so sweet and attentive, washing your hair and conditioning it with his products, and letting you do the same.  You told him that the last time you enjoyed showering with someone, it had been John, you and Gabbi.  His raised eyebrows prompted an explanation. “We found bathing the kids was easier when we did it that way.  It let us have skin-to-skin contact with them, and each other, and was a true bonding experience.  I loved it.  I was sad when they got too big to do it.”  You finished rinsing out the conditioner and stepped out, letting him finish up while you dried off.  You wrapped a towel around yourself and walked into the bedroom, wondering how you were going to get from his room to yours without being seen and horribly embarrassed.  Bucky.  

“FRIDAY where is Bucky Barnes? Is there a way I can talk to him privately?” 

“Bucky here.  Steph, you ok?”

“Can anyone else hear me?”

“No. Why?”

“I’m in Steve’s room, but I have a bit of a problem.  Without too much explanation, would you mind going to the guest room and grabbing my overnight bag?  I’ll go back after and make sure I have everything, but I need some stuff in there and I’m not dressed appropriately to go there on my own.”

He was laughing, for sure. “Atta boy, punk.”

“Bucky, please?”

“Yeah, of course doll.  Give me a few minutes and I’ll be there.  Tell FRIDAY to let me in your room when I get there.”

“Thanks so much.”

You turned around and plowed straight into Steve with just a towel around his waist.  Oh my goodness, you prayed you never took that sight for granted.  “Did you just ask Bucky to bring your clothes from your room to here?”

“Yes.  Is that ok?”

“Of course, except it’s going to be a long time before I live that down.”

“Oh geesh Steve, I was trying to prevent that by not walking through the building with just a towel.  My pajamas are a bit….distressed.”  You held them up, laughing, as he saw the damage he had inflicted.  “I’m sorry, sometimes I forget how strong I am.”  

“I’m starting to learn not to.” You kissed until you heard a knock at the door.  Picking up the dropped towels and blushing, you ran into Steve’s bedroom.

At least in front of you, Bucky was a complete gentleman, trying to leave before he saw you.  You heard him and yelled, “Bucky, don’t you dare.  Please stay a minute.  I need to give you at least a hug to thank you.”  He came in, gave Steve the bag, an exaggerated wink and a really big smile, and turned around while Steve opened his bedroom door and handed you the bag.  While you changed you heard them laughing and talking, but didn’t pay attention to the words.  You looked at the clock.  You needed to get going if you were going to make it home for your daughters.  It felt like it had been a very long time since you’d seen them.

Both men looked up and smiled when you came out of the room.  You gave Bucky a hug and a kiss, “Thank you so much.  Could you please do me a favor and keep this between us? It was my fault that I needed your help.”

“Yeah, sure it was doll.”  Steve punched him.  You turned away from him for a second.

“Steve, I’m sorry, but if I’m going to make it to Brooklyn by the time the girls get home from their after-school things, we’re going to need to leave pretty soon.  I need to go to the guest room and make sure I have everything.  Would it be possible to leave after that?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a tour, babe.  Next time?”

“Sure.  Bucky would you help me in my room? I have no idea how to get there.”  They both looked at each other quizzically, but Bucky stretched his metal arm towards the door, “After you, ma’am.”  

You walked to the elevator, and explained, “I know we’re probably not going to be alone together, too often, Buck, and I was hoping to just let you know that I really like Steve and I don’t plan on hurting him.”  He laughed, “I know that, doll and HE knows that. I haven’t seen him happy like this in a really long time.”  When you got back to your room and picked up the few personal care items you had left in the bathroom.  “I guess you’ll need help getting outside, too? Here, let me carry that for you.” You gave him another quick hug and peck on the cheek before letting him help you get in the truck, telling him he had an open invitation at your house whenever he was in Brooklyn.  “You have to meet my daughters.  I’d love for them to get to know you.”  He got very quiet, looked at Steve, and hugged you back without a word.

The ride home was quiet as you switched gears back into the real world.  You checked your email, responding to the most critical ones and confirming your appointments for tomorrow.  You scheduled a reminder to pack the correct technology, and then texted both your daughters and ex-husband saying you were on your way home and that you should be there by the time the girls got home from their respective after school activities.  Steve just looked and listened, smiling, but not talking.  When you were off the phone, he held your hand.  “Tell me about what you do.  You’ve told me the basics, but I want to hear more.  It seems to me like you’re doing some pretty special things, and I want to learn about it..”

You were truly touched.  Your job was one of your passions, and your stomach did one of those oh-so-cute flip-flop things when he asked, but you knew you could get carried away when talking about it, reaching evangelical levels.  After your amazing weekend, you didn’t want to go into it right now. “I love that you just asked me that, but would you mind terribly if we talked about it later? This weekend is something I’m not ready to let go of yet, I’d like to keep my head here. Soon enough I’ll turn back into a pumpkin.”  

You had to laugh, this was happening more often.  “I’m sorry, I’m not doing it on purpose.  

It’s from an animated movie, Cinderella.  The story was written in the 1600’s, though, so it was around your time.”  His sideways look, which was meant to be withering, just ended up being a smirk and a chuckle.  You could not help yourself from laughing until you cried.  

Traffic was light, so you had plenty of time to stop for lunch close to home.  You were determined not to get all sad now that your weekend paradise was coming to an end.  As you looked at the menu, Steve reached to hold your hand, and as you both ordered, he traced patterns only he knew into your palm and played with each of your fingers, smiling when he noticed the slightly crooked one.  After the food arrived, and he had been the one to keep up the conversation, you were not surprised when he wanted to know what was up.

“Hey, what’s going on? Everything ok?”

“Yes, absolutely, why?

“You’ve barely said a word since we left the compound.  Is something wrong?”

“No.  Honestly, no.  I’m doing what you asked me to do, trust you.  I’ve been thinking about how this weekend was perfect, how  I could not have dreamed of a more romantic, wish-fulfilling weekend, but then I think about how real life awaits us back at home and I want to make sure I don’t overreact or freak out, so I’m reminding myself that trusting you is the best thing I can do.  I guess I can’t do that and talk at the same time, I’m sorry.”

“You can talk to me about this stuff, you know.  Believe it or not, I’m nervous, too.  Not about you or me or us, but about taking this weekend and making it into something that lasts.  I’m not afraid of it though. Are you?”

“No, I’m not afraid, I guess I’m just walking that same old tightrope between being safe and being all in.  Though I think the last two nights is pretty much my admission ticket to the “all in” club.”

 

As he smiled and looked at his food, you saw relief in his eyes.  “I was afraid you were regretting being together.”

“No.  Never, as long as I live will I regret that. I will always remember it as one of the most special nights of my life.”  You wanted to add, “with love,” but you didn’t want the flood of baggage that came with the word.

“Ok, then.  Let’s get home and see the girls.”

The last 30 minutes of the trip were spent discussing the one topic you couldn’t wrap your head around - what to tell Lizzy and Gabbi.  Though Lizzy found out Steve’s alter ego first, Gabbi figured it out on her own and hadn’t said anything until her sister got permission from Steve to enlighten her.  “Mom, of course I knew. After about a month, I figured out who Mr. Rogers was, but I didn’t say anything because I figured he was under cover or didn’t want anyone to know.”  

What you told Steve about both girls trying to set the two of you up was true.  They talked about Steve all the time - how nice he was, how cute he was, how strong he was - and they often suggested that he might like going out for coffee with you “because we don’t think he has a girlfriend or a boyfriend.”  You knew both girls would be excited, and so you decided to wait a few days before telling them you were a couple, just to see what felt right, after you got back into your daily lives. When you arrived home, and you both made it upstairs with the few bags you had, you stepped towards your separate apartments.  You had only been gone less than 48 hours, but it felt like a lot longer than that.  

You opened your door and he carried your bag inside.  A lot had changed since the last time you stood here together.  You both were trying to recognize that but not make it bigger than it was.  “Would you mind bringing my bag into my room, please?  You walked in behind him and shut the door.  You sat on the bed and asked him to sit with you. “It feels like there’s a huge freaking elephant in the room.  There doesn’t need to be.  I’m going to need help taking this day-by-day, and I need you to be the person that straightens me out when I start talking in circles.”

“I can do that.”

“Ok then, good talk.  I’ve got an hour and a half before the girls get home.  Do you have time to take a nap?”

Any nap was a great nap, but this one was great + a million.  When you asked him, Steve smiled, took off his shoes, pulled back the covers on your bed, and laid down with you.  You set your alarm for an hour, and immediately fell asleep.  When you woke up, he was looking at you and you forgot where you were for a second.  “Hi beautiful, time to wake up.” You wiped the sleep out of your eyes, stretched, and turned to kiss him.  He responded demurely, not wanting to start something that couldn’t be finished.  “I don’t need to unpack, but I do have a few mission briefings to read, so I’m gonna get going and let you have your reunion with the girls.”

You didn’t have long to think, because you were kicked back into Mom mode 20 minutes later.  You were so happy to see your babies (though you knew, of course, they weren’t anymore) that it made everything else much more tolerable.  You asked about their weekend, and they both told you, at the same time, all the different things each had done.  Monday nights was always the night you planned together for the week - the meals, their activities, any tests or papers they had due, your work schedule and locations.  It was the touchstone of the week especially for you, but the girls occasionally mentioned that it helped them, too.  Homework was finished, dinner eaten, showers taken, and you were taking turns sitting on the edge of each girl’s bed when Lizzy asked about your weekend.  You had made a promise to never lie to your kids, but they didn’t need to know everything yet.  You told her a friend invited you upstate to a campground and that thankfully there was indoor sleeping and bathrooms and that it was nice.  She accepted that without question. The girls were so tired that by the time you got to Gabbi’s room she was asleep.

You showered, got your work stuff ready for tomorrow and laid on the couch, ready to click through Netflix for the next 20 minutes before watching something you’ve seen 10 times already.  

You figured it was Maria when you heard your phone buzz. 

**Steve:** Hi gorgeous.  Girls asleep?

**Steph:** Hi to you, too.  Yes, they are.

**Steve:** Did they ask about the weekend?

**Steph:** Lizzy did.  I told her a friend invited me to a campground upstate and it was a really nice time.  They don’t need to know everything, yet.

**Steve:** Nice?  I’d definitely use a whole bunch of other words.  Are you walking tomorrow morning?

**Steph:**  Answer I should give = yes.  Answer closer to the truth = 30% chance.  

**Steve:** Want me to help you get up?  

**Steph** : I will ignore the innuendo and say I probably will be slightly less horrible to you this time around, so yes please.

**Steve:** I miss you.  Can you come and tuck me in? :)

**Steph:** How can I say no? Give me a minute to get some PJ’s on.

**Steve:** Why do you need PJ’s?

**Steph:** Sigh. See you in a minute.

His door was opened, but you knocked anyway.  He was on the couch, watching TV, something about modern military strategy.  You laughed, “I watched a lot of this when I was married. John is addicted to this type of show.”  Steve turned and stood up, smiling.  He stood in front of you, taking your hands in his. “I’ve been thinking about kissing you and more all afternoon.  You’re very distracting, you know.”

“Thank you?” 

“You’re welcome, now come here.”  He did the signature Steve move - pulling you towards him while looking down at you with that perfect face and those penetrating eyes that didn’t leave yours for a second.  It was a good move, very effective.  Tonight he held your hands gently behind your back pulling you closer with your arms out of the way.  You kissed him deeply and with all the feelings you had. “Can you stay for a little while?”  It was getting late, and you knew you’d be cursing yourself tomorrow morning, but of course you nodded in agreement.  Relationships are only new once, you were going to take advantage of every intense moment you could.  “Good, because I am not ready to let you go.” Flutter, flips, leaps….check.


	8. Life and Love Get Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In your world, spring was a marathon. Your kids’ end-of-school-year commitments were a priority, your clients were a priority, your new relationship with Steve was a constant thought, and your own well-being was far down on the to-do list. You thought you had everything under control until a relaxing date night ended with your breakdown. Steve was there. He stayed. You knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness. This was such an interesting chapter to write. I know it’s shorter, but it felt like I stopped at a natural conclusion. I thought it was going to go one way - a much more traditional narrative - but as I started writing it, it was like something else needed to be said. I’m sorry for the angst, and I hope it’s not too upsetting for some folks, but since I’m planning this to be a long-term story, I felt obligated to be as real as possible (when you’re boyfriend is Captain America, of course).

The next few weeks flew.  Your kids’ school year was coming to an end and they had plays, projects, and banquets.  Every school you worked for wanted end-of-year trainings, recommendations, and reports.  You’d learned over the years that you could only do so much, so you prioritized needs and dealt with them as best and as fast as you could, but it was a demanding time of year nonetheless.  Your ex-husband John was always a full partner in the kids’ lives, and was able to be at the events you were unable to attend, which was such a blessing for them, and for you.  As for your needs, Steve was willing to help in any way he could.  Backrubs, grocery shopping, listening to your ravings when you were exhausted and overwhelmed, sitting in your apartment quietly while you typed away for hours on end - nothing seemed to faze him.

After two solid weeks of 18-hour days, he asked if you could take a night off to spend time together, just the two of you.  You hadn’t had a “real” date night since you returned from your weekend at The Avengers compound,  but he wouldn’t hear any apologies from you, insisting there was nothing to be sorry for and pointing out that eventually, there were going to be times when he would be away for extended periods, too.  The idea of putting away your work and just being with him was delicious.  You couldn’t wait.

After your girls left for the weekend with their Dad, you texted Steve that you were alone and started the water for a long, hot shower.  You weren’t surprised when he asked if he could come over, and after you responded with a smile, you stepped inside. The hot water felt wonderful, letting you truly relax.  You smiled to yourself, thinking about the night ahead.  You didn’t care what the two of you did, as long as it was relaxing and didn’t involve work.  When you shut off the water, Steve let you know he was there, so that you wouldn’t be startled.  You slipped into your bathrobe and walked straight into the most wonderful hug you’d ever felt.  He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in.  It felt like he was trying to protect you from feeling anymore stress, and it was perfect.

“Thank you so much for being such a great guy the last few weeks.  I know I haven’t been a great……”

“Girlfriend?”

You snuggled your head into the crook of his neck, “That sounds weird, given how old I am.”

He started laughing in earnest, “How old YOU are? I could be your great-grandfather!” 

“True.  I guess it’s good that I’ve always had a thing for older guys.”

“Well, thank God for that.  Want to hear what I have planned for tonight?”

You looked up at him with tired but bright eyes and nodded.

“I’ve already ordered pizza, put 3 movies on my Netlfix queue for us to choose from, and bought snacks and wine.”  

You let out a long sigh of relief.  “Oh, thank God.  That sounds heavenly.  I might have to just get on my knees in front of you right now, just to say thank you.”  You had no idea where that came from, and it was meant as a joke, but when you saw how he blushed from the top of his face to his neck, you knew exactly what you had to do.

You kissed him, let your hand lightly rest on his crotch, and moved it slowly until he was noticeably hard.  You smiled, turned, and dropped your bathrobe on the floor while you walked to your bedroom.  You didn’t have to have super hearing to know he was breathing hard and following you.  

When he walked in your room behind you, you faced him and started unbuttoning his shirt, kissing his neck, pulling off his t-shirt, kissing his chest, and moving down towards his pants.  He grabbed your hair and pulled you up, meeting you in a hard kiss. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I know, but I promised. Now, shhhhhh.  You took care of me, now let me take care of you.”

You took off his belt and unzipped his fly, loving how he ran his hands through your hair and said your name like it was the answer to all his questions.  After you got his pants off, you had him lay down on your bed, and let the moonlight help you see each other.  You kissed down his chest again, while letting your fingers lightly tease down towards his straining boxers.  You let your tongue rub against one of his nipples, while you started moving your hand up and down along his shaft.  He was still wearing his boxers, but leaking through them.  You kissed everywhere you could, soaking his boxers even more.  He was tightening the muscles in his legs and ass so hard that you stopped what you were doing.

“Breathe sweetie, you can’t cum yet.  You haven’t had enough attention.”  His guttural moans turned you on like almost nothing else.  He started asking you to take him, asking you to put your hot mouth on his aching cock, asking you to please, please, pleaseeee.  “Don’t worry baby, you’re going to get exactly what you want.”

You returned to him, pulled down his boxers and, as soon as they were off, licked up the entire underside of his huge, engorged cock. Even with his self-control, you knew he was close.  “Do you want to cum in my mouth?”  You surprised yourself as that wasn’t something you had volunteered for in a long time.

“Oh my god yes Steph, yes…..please…..fuck me with your mouth.”

You meant it when you asked him what he wanted.  You wanted to do whatever made him feel good.  You put your mouth on him, going down as far as you could and that one motion caused him to scream, grab your hair and cum furiously in your mouth.  When he felt you swallow, it prompted another jerk of his hips.  When you finally let him out of your mouth, he opened his arms and you crawled beside him, letting him hold you.  “Wow.”  That one word was enough to make you smile.  You started to get up, and he pulled you down, “Oh no, you’re not getting up.  I need you here.” You softly chuckled and pulled a blanket over both of you.  He fell asleep for just a bit, and you got up, brushed your teeth and put on some comfy clothes.  You paid for the pizza when it arrived (thank goodness Saturday night deliveries take forever), and chilled the wine in a fancy new gadget your friends gave you for Christmas.  You chuckled when you realized how much you had used it already. 

The smell of Tony’s pizza was mouth-watering.  Like the Pied Piper, it brought Steve out to the living room in his sweats and t-shirt, wiping his eyes and generally looking adorable.  He walked up to you, wrapped his arms around you and kissed your neck, “That was amazing.  Stellar.  Out of this world.  Earth shattering.  Thank you.”  

“I’m glad.  I like making you happy.  But I also like eating pizza, so as much as I love you…………”

Holy shit.  That just came out of your mouth.  You didn’t think about it, you didn’t plan it, you just said it.  You casually turned around to get a slice and made inconsequential small talk, hoping that he just didn’t hear it.  Oh. My.  God.  You were dumbfounded, but hopefully it was a slip of the tongue and wasn’t a big deal.  You went to get some wine, took your time finding a glass and rinsing it before taking it all to the couch.  He sat next to you a minute later, holding his meal and a beer.  

His mouth was full, but he nodded his head when you asked if you guys could watch Apollo 13 - you loved the movie and thought he would, too.

You were feeling like you just barely escaped the executioner and started to calm down.  You talked while he read the trailer description.  “Oh my god this pizza.  Thank you for ordering it.  How did you know it’s exactly what I wanted?”

“I heard you.”

“What?”

“Steph, I heard you.”

“Good, I like it when people hear me when I thank them.”

“No.  I heard you say you love me.”

“Oh. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, it just came out without warning - probably just overstimulation from earlier.  All the hormones and everything ramped up.”

“Is it true? Do you love me?”

“Oh my GOD - how am I supposed to look you in the face and answer that after being together for a month!” Do you remember the labeling = no labels required conversation?  This is even a bigger conversational taboo!!!”  You were turning redder by the minute.  He, oddly enough, was smiling at you.

“The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”

“Excuse me?  And don’t say it’s from Shakespeare, I know it is, WHY did you think it was applicable to this situation?”

“Because you love me.”

“Please excuse me for a minute.  I need to use the bathroom.”  You calmly picked up your phone and walked out of the room, ignoring Steve’s chuckles.

You didn’t care if he knew, but you needed your best friends to help you figure this out.

**Steph:**  Oh. My. God.  I am done.  I am so fucked.

**Ally:** What? Are you ok?

**Steph:** Yes, I am physically fine.  I am in my apartment, hiding in the bathroom because I just said the absolute stupidest thing to Steve and I needed to talk to you guys.  

**Maria:** No, you didn’t.

**Jen:** You did?

**Ally:** Oh sweetie….

**Steph:** He planned a wonderful stay-at-home date night.  I showered, he came over, there may have been some fellatio action that sent him into outer space, and then the pizza from Tony’s was delivered.

**Maria:**  you had me at fellatio.

**Ally:** THAT’S WHAT HE SAID!

**Jen:** THAT’S WHAT HE SAID!

**Steph:** THAT’S WHAT HE SAID!

**Steph:** HAAAAAAAA!!!!

**Maria:** We are not talking about me.  We are talking about Steph.  Please continue.

**Steph:** He came out of the bedroom, and said I was “out of this world” (direct quote) and thanked me.  Oh god…..then it happened.  “I’m glad.  I like making you happy.  But I also like eating pizza, so as much as I love you…………”  I thought he didn’t hear me, so I just played it off for a few minutes.  I didn’t do my over-talking or fast-talking things, just got my pizza, wine and turned on Netflix.  After a minute, he said “I heard you.”

Steve knocked, “Steph are you ok? You’ve been in there awhile.”

“Yup, I’m fine.  I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Tell Jen, Maria and Ally I said ‘hi,” and that you love me.”

**Steph:** Ok, he just checked on me because I’ve been in here so long (and says to tell you 3 “hi and that you love me”).  I gotta go, but first, tell me - WHAT DO I DO?

**Maria:** Do you love him?

**Steph:** I DON’T KNOW!!!!!

**Maria:** Stephanie Elizabeth

**Jen, Ally:** Ooooooooo, full name.  Watch out.

**Steph:** WHY DO I HAVE TO ANSWER THAT?  We’ve only been dating a little over a month, it just slipped out - I didn’t think about it or anything.  I don’t want to scare him - I scared myself for pete’s sake!

**Maria:** Steph, tell him that yes, you said it, and that no, you don’t know if you meant it because you hadn’t really thought about it.  You are trying to take things day by day and not get all big picture.  That’s the truth, right?

**Steph:** yes.  Will you call him and tell him that for me?

**Maria:**  You know I would, but you don’t want me to.  Go do it.  Then you are legally obligated to text us back and tell us what happened by midnight.  Even one line.  Promise?

**Steph:**  yes, I promise.  I love you guys.  Thank you so much.

**Jen:** Good luck, sweetie.

**Ally:** You can do this.  You’re amazing.  HE is lucky to have YOU.

**Maria:** Forget all the bullshit, just do it.

You took a deep breath, washed your hands, flushed for authenticity, and walked into the living room.  Steve was leaning on the back of the couch, arms folded across his chest, waiting for you.

“Look Steve, I’m sorry, I’ve been trying to take things day-by-day, not trying to think about long-term, and…..”

He cut you off.  He never cut you off.

“Me, too.”

You were so confused that you tilted your head to the side and scrunched up your face. “Huh?”

After laughing, he walked towards you and took your hands in his.  He wrapped your arms around his waist, and sighed as you squeezed and lay your head on his chest.

“Me, too.  I love you, too.” You felt like you had been punched. Hard. What the fuck? What was wrong with you?  You’ve had those words said to you in a romantic way before, thankfully, and it was all sunshine, fireworks, and crazy happiness.  Now you just felt like there was a hole in your stomach.  Understandably, he was expecting a different reaction, because his face dropped.  

“What? Steph, what’s wrong? Are you ok?”

“Yeah, yeah, I think so.”  The light was starting to dawn on your incredibly unexpected reaction.

“Well babe, to be honest, I thought you’d at least smile and kiss me.”

You started to cry.  Not little tears, but big, fat tears that streamed down your face, accompanied by sobs.  Steve was really worried, bordering on scared.  He used his caring don’t- get-panicked voice.

“Ok, it’s ok sweetie.  Whatever it is, it’s ok.  Come on, come sit down with me.  Just stay here with me, everything is going to be fine.”  You leaned against his t-shirt, grateful for his ever-present warmth, and just cried until you couldn’t anymore.  He stroked your hair, only getting up to get you tissues, water, and Tylenol.  He didn’t say anything of importance, and neither did you.  With his touch, the warming presence of his arms, and his soft comforting murmurs you fell asleep.  You barely woke up when he carried you to bed, pulled down the covers, and tucked you in.  You were sound asleep when your phone alert sounded.  Steve grabbed it to prevent it from waking you and saw the continuation of your earlier group text on the lock screen.

**Maria:** Steph, how did it go love?

**Ally:** Are you ok?  Do you need us to come over?

**Jen:** I’m the closest guys, I can go.  Rob is here for the kids.

**Steph:** Hi ladies, this is Steve Rogers.  I know this text isn’t meant for me to read, but Steph is asleep, and I didn’t want you ladies to worry about her.  She’s ok, just worn out, I think.

**Maria:**  Thank you Steve.  Well, when she wakes up, would you please give her a message to call one or all of us?

**Steph:** Yes ma’am.

**Ally:** Thank you.

**Jen:** Did you see the previous parts of this text?

**Steph:** No ma’am, just what showed up right when the phone buzzed a minute ago.  Goodnight ladies.

**Maria:**  Smooth, Jen.  Real smooth.

Though you slept hard, your dreams were vivid and disturbing.  Your friends were being taken, Steve couldn’t help, and you were unable to move.  Then you were being chased - running in each room in a long hallway and slamming the door, trying to get away from whatever was hurting your loved ones.  You woke up like you always did from those dreams - disoriented, gasping for breath and scared. You sat up and Steve was next to you, rubbing your back, telling you he was there and everything was ok, and that you could go back to sleep.  You got up to use the bathroom, came back to bed, and slept soundly until morning.  

When you woke up, you felt like yourself again.  It was early, 6 o’clock, but you felt rested for the first time in weeks.  You realized Steve was in bed with you, his t-shirt and sweatpants on from the night before, sound asleep with one of his hands on you.  

You loved this man.  You knew it.  You thought about last night, but surprisingly, didn’t feel embarrassed.  You felt loved, but more importantly, worthy of HIS love.  Before you fell asleep last night you realized that when Steve told you he loved you, you felt it was wrong.  You believed, deep, deep, down, that your relationship WAS a fantasy and that it WOULD come crashing down, because Steve Rogers couldn’t possibly love you.  You never consciously realized you felt that way.  You were sure that being completely exhausted played a big role in the breakdown, but that punch you felt was something old, established, and ugly kicking and screaming as it was destroyed.  You loved him, you were sure.

You looked at your phone, realizing you never followed up with your friends.  You unlocked the screen and opened up the group chat, only to read what was written after you fell asleep.  You felt incredibly blessed to have that many people love you.  After you used the bathroom you closed your eyes and fell back asleep, this time with a huge smile on your face and your love’s face in your hands.  A few hours later, you woke up as Steve was laying next to you, watching you, and gently stroking your face. 

“Good morning.  Thank you for staying last night.  Obviously, I was quite a mess.”

“I was so worried about you, Steph.  I’d never seen you like that, like you were physically hurt and you couldn’t tell me what was wrong, and I couldn’t figure out how to fix it.”

“I’m sorry I worried you.  Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Of course.  I couldn’t leave you, and I didn’t want to.  I wanted you to know I was here, that you were ok, that I wasn’t going to let anything happen to you.”

“I think that’s the only reason I slept so soundly after my nightmare.  You were here, and I knew it.”

“That’s what you do for people you love.  I love you, Stephanie Elizabeth.”

“I love you, Steven Grant.”

That was that.  No big discussion, no fanfare, no music.  It just was the new normal.


	9. The Calm After the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today was a new day. After a long and emotional night, Sunday dawned and you felt like yourself again. Except now, feeling like yourself had a new meaning - being in love with Steve Rogers. You had a day to yourselves, and spent it together. It was a day of firsts, including your first motorcycle ride. It was a day to celebrate each other whatever way you wanted, and it was a day to feel things you had never felt before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the “things get better” chapter! I loved writing this one, but definitely needed some time to put all the random plot points together in a coherent way. I’d love to know if you think I’m dragging this out too long or if the pace is good and keeps you wanting more. I don’t want to kill anyone with waiting! Again, thank you for reading and commenting. It means the world to me.

You both said it.  You both said, “I love you,” and nothing bad happened.  After your huge emotional release the night before (a nice way of saying a breakdown), a good night’s sleep, and your declarations of love, you felt incredible.  You wanted to get up and get outside.  You had the whole day ahead of you, with no work, no obligations, and a wonderful boyfriend.  

“What do you want to do today Steve?”

“Whatever you want.”

“I was hoping we could go out - nowhere fancy or with lots of crowds - I’m not ready to share you - but I suddenly feel like I need to be outside, in the sun.”

“Alright, then let’s do it.  Can we eat breakfast first?”

“Yes!  Come on, I’ll buy you breakfast at Champ’s - it’s so good.”

You made your way there with a kissing interlude or two along the way, and waited a few minutes for a table.  It was later in the morning, so the initial rush had died down.  You ordered and as you were waiting, you noticed Steve’s face.

“Now I get to ask you - what’s up? Everything ok?”

“Yes, just thinking about last night.”

“Honestly, I scared myself with how extreme it got, I can only imagine how you felt.  I’m sorry.”

“What happened?”

Oh boy, another “lay Stephanie’s insecurities bare” talk.  Great.  This was getting to be a habit that you did not enjoy.  You told yourself to take a deep breath and just tell him.  He saw you at such a low point last night, not much else could happen. “When you told me you loved me, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach, which I didn’t understand, because, duh, you had just told me you love me, but I realized something.  I think there was a part of me, buried pretty deep, that had a visceral reaction because I did not feel like I deserved what you wanted to give me.”

“Steph….you know….” You gently put your hand up to stop him.

‘“I think down deep I was betting on us not working out.  I was betting on the reality I constructed - the one where you came to your senses and found someone who better fit society’s definition of your girlfriend.  I think I was hedging my bets so completely, that no matter what I thought or did, I really wasn’t all in.  I was biding my time until you found what you really wanted and needed.  When I heard you say those words, it was like something shattered inside me, and whatever it was - a stupid belief, a security blanket against getting hurt - it had been there a long time and was not going away without a fight.”

He looked at you, stood up, and came over to your side of the booth.  Without a word, he kissed you and put his forehead against yours.  “I’m sorry you had to go through that, but whatever it was, I’m glad I could help blast it to hell.  YOU are my idea of the best girlfriend I could have, to hell with society.  You know, I didn’t just figure out I loved you last night.  I knew from the moment I walked into the kitchen at the compound and saw you surrounded by my friends and my best friend, cooking and making everyone smile.  I knew from the moment you invited Bucky to meet the girls. Last night wasn't a revelation, it was a confirmation.”

“I thought inviting Bucky upset him.  He got so quiet and just looked at you.”

“He wasn’t upset, he was touched.  His look said it all.  He couldn’t believe you did that, that you felt safe enough with him to let him into the lives of your children.  You didn’t see him as a monster, but as a good man worthy to be a part of your life. He didn’t know what to say, so he hugged you.”

“Wow.  You got all that from a 10-second glance?”

“Well, there may have been some interpretation and elaboration on my part, but yeah.”

He went back to his side of the booth when the food arrived, and ate like it had been days, rather than hours, since his last meal.  Some part of you loved watching him eat - guess there was a domestic wench under your modern woman sensibilities.  After you paid and were walking home, shit got real.

“I have an idea for today.  Do you trust me?”

“Though that question strikes fear in my heart, haven’t I provided enough evidence thus far to prove that I do?”

When you walked back to the building, stopping for coffee on the way, Steve asked you to wait on the bench outside, while he ran upstairs to get something.  He came down with his leather jacket, gloves, two helmets, and a smile.  Oh no.  The time had come.

“Well, Steve, it’s been nice knowing you.  Good luck doing all that hero stuff, and stay safe.”

“Steph, listen.  I understand you’re afraid.”

“Yes, the spectre of death has that effect on me.”  For once, it was not meant to be a joke, but he laughed anyway.

“I’ll make you a deal.  Get on the back of the bike and get used to it.  I won’t start the engine unless you say so.  I know you feel like it’s not going to be big enough for both of us, but I’m going to prove to you that’s not true.”

You did not like where this was going, but trust is trust.  You knew he wouldn’t purposely hurt you or humiliate you.  You took a deep breath, and straddled the bike, holding his arm to stabilize yourself.  He sat in front of you and pushed back enough that putting your arms around his waist felt like the only thing to do.  He kicked the kickstand back and moved the bike slowly from side to side, just to familiarize you.  “So far, so good?” You answered with some kind of noise that indicated consent.  “Ready to try going somewhere?”  You felt like you were going to puke, but you nodded, anyway.

He helped you put on your helmet and adjust it properly.  Before starting the bike, he ran through some rules.  

“Keep your arms around me.  Try not to shift your weight too much, and lean into the corners when I do.  If you need to stop or get off, even I won’t be able to hear you too well, so tap my shoulder twice.”  He said a few more things, but didn’t overwhelm you.  “We’ll just go somewhere close by.  Maybe to the bridge and back?”  You nodded, that wasn’t more than a couple of miles.  He started the engine and you almost cried.  He squeezed your hand tightly, put it back on his waist, and you started to move.  

No doubt about it, you were still petrified, but figured if Captain America was driving, you had a better-than-average chance of being ok.  You tried to breathe evenly, hold his waist but not too tightly, and lean when he leaned.  That was about all you could do.  On the way back home, you chanced an actual look to each side.  Still scared shitless, but at least appreciative of the view.  When he stopped and turned off the bike, you were still vibrating with the feel of the road, which was a weird sensation. He put down the kickstand and helped you get off.  Your legs were wobbly, too.  It probably looked like you’d been drinking, but when you said that, Steve said that it was the same as when you got off a treadmill after being on it for a long time, and wasn’t surprising.  You returned to the same bench you sat on an hour ago, and waited for him to come back from the garage.  By the time he got back, you felt ok, but wanted to go back upstairs. 

When you got off the elevator, he asked if you could hang out at his place, since he had some things he wanted to show you.  You went home and quickly changed clothes, washed your face, checked your phone and responded to messages from your friends and the kids, grabbed some snacks and knocked on his door.  You were thrilled when you opened the door and saw Steve sitting with Bucky on the couch.  “Bucky!! I’m so glad to see you!”  You ran over to give him a long hug, and kissed his cheek.  He smiled.  Boy, he also had blue eyes that could stop traffic.  What the heck was in the water their mothers drank?

“Hi doll, how are you?”   
  


You sat on Steve’s lap (check you out, making progress!) and after filling him in about the broad strokes of your life the last few weeks, culminating in last night’s waterworks and a forced admission from both men that you hadn’t been taking care of yourself, you smiled and told him you were glad you could start over today and had such great people in your life to help you, including him.  He got that look again.  You leaned your forehead against Steve’s and he smiled, gripping your hips harder. 

“Yeah Buck, I’m real proud of my girl here.  She got on my bike today and we rode a couple of miles.  She did great.”  You were smiling like you had won the lottery. 

“You took her on your bike?  Wow, doll, this guy really thinks you’re swell if he did that.  That’s his baby.”  You laughed and had an idea.

“Buck, please tell me you’ll stay for supper.  It’s just me and Steve, but I would love you to stay.  Please?”

“Yeah, c’mon Buck.  You know what a good cook I am.”  That one had all of you laughing.  Steve was many things, but a cook was not one of them.  

“I’ll stay if you promise Steph does the cooking, and you limit yourself to cleaning up afterwards.”  

You told them you’d probably need them to run to the store and pick up dessert at the bakery, and then excused yourself to see what you had in the fridge.

“Wow punk.  She’s something else.”

“Yeah, she is Buck.  I told her I loved her last night.”

“It’s about time. What did she say?”

“It broke my heart, Buck.  She said that the reason she cried so much is because she didn’t feel like she should be the person I was in love with.  That she didn’t fit other people’s idea of who I should be with.  All I know is that I think she's the best thing that's happened to me in a very long time. I haven’t felt this way about someone since Peggy.  Steph makes me feel smart and important and cared for and all I want to do is make her feel the same, forever.”

“I’m happy for you, Stevie.  Sounds like you’re thinking long-term.”

“I am, but I don’t want to rush her.  We’ve got time.  Please Buck, please don’t say anything to her, she’s scared enough as it is.  I don’t want to send her running.  Plus, we haven’t even told her kids we’re together, yet.”

“I won’t say a word, punk.  Let’s go see what she needs us to get.”

After you gave them the list, you texted Maria, Jen, and Ally, aka, the Unholy Trinity.  You rarely texted them individually, because they all just ended up wanting to know what you told the others, and you didn’t want to repeat yourself 3 times.  

**Steph:**  Hey ladies.  Just wanted to thank you for last night.  You were there for me when it counted, per usual, and I love you for it.  

**Maria:** You’re welcome love

**Ally:** Of course!

**Jen:** No worries, sweetie.

**Maria:** So, Steve responded to our last text last night.  Girl, the man is a keeper.  

**Ally:** SO sweet

**Jen:** And SO beautiful

**Maria:**  When are we going to see you guys again, as a couple?

**Jen:**  yeah!  We should have a multi-family BBQ/Party.  Hey, 4th of July!

**Steph:**  Guys, that’s Steve’s birthday.

**Maria:**  Of course it is.  So we could have a multi-family BBQ Birthday party!

**Steph:** I’d want to clear that with him first.  Plus, he never knows when he has to leave for a work trip, so you might do all this planning and he might not be able to come.

**Maria:** You have kids. You know that nothing is set in stone until the minute it begins, right? And even then, no guarantee it’ll end well? Who cares, we’ll at least get to see each other and pawn off our kids on our partners - or better yet - we can pay Lizzy and Gabbi to run a daycamp.  I volunteer my house.

**Jen:** Cater or cook?

**Ally:** CATER

**Maria:** CATER

**Steph:** CATER, but make sure you know what their cancellation policy is.

**Jen:** Yes, mom.

**Maria:** So, all of us need to check significant others/kids’ schedules and see if 4th of July works for everyone?  Deadline tomorrow?  After that, we’ll figure out the fun stuff, caterer, etc.

**Jen:** Check.

**Ally:** Check

**Steph:** Check, Captain.

**Steph:** I gotta run, making dinner.  Love you all, and thanks again.

**Maria:** Love you guys - talk tomorrow.

**Ally:** Later

**Jen:** See ya

Dinner was simple, but everyone enjoyed it.  Steak, potatoes, salad and the guys picked up Boston Cream Pie for dessert.  Bucky smiled when you opened the box, “Steve said you grew up near Boston.”  

“Thanks you guys, that was so sweet.”  You gave each a kiss, though Steve’s was a bit longer.

“Hey, don’t thank that punk, thank me.  It was my idea!”

You spent another hour talking  - you mentioned the 4th of July BBQ/Birthday party and asked them both to think about it, knowing full well it was Steve’s birthday and that their lives changed so quick that making firm commitments was impossible.  You looked at the two of them smiling, laughing, and sharing their lives with you - both past and present - and you felt so lucky, so happy.  You missed your girls, because you knew they would be just as happy as you, just as welcoming. They cleaned up, and Bucky promised to come back very soon to meet Lizzy and Gabbi.  After wishing him a good night and sending him home with leftovers, you closed the door and locked it.   While you did that, Steve wrapped his his left arm around your torso, and used his right to move your hair to the side and start kissing your neck.  You reached behind to gently pull his hair.  

“Steph, I want you.  Right now.  Here.” You turned to face him, and lifted your shirt off.  You were starting to get used to his eyes on you, so you ran your fingers between your lips, between your breasts, until you reached your bra closure that you slowly opened while he pounced on every inch of skin he could see.  You pulled his shirt out of his waistband and started to fondle him through his jeans.  He pulled your pants and underwear down, and leaned you against the door.  He pulled the rest of his shirt off and kissed down your body, until he knelt in front of you and lifted your right leg over his left shoulder.  This was a new one for you, since balance was not your hallmark.  You once tripped on your own feet in the middle of an open field, and why were you thinking of that right now, since Steve was there to hold you and oooooohhhhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyyyyyy fuck he was amazing.  His tongue was completely inside you, moving it in the same rhythm as his hands as they squeezed your ass and pulled you to him as close as possible.  He moved your leg off his shoulder and stood up, holding you against him while he kissed you. He pulled you towards the couch, though you weren’t sure your legs were going to hold up for the 5 steps it took to get there. 

“It’s not nice to stop before you finish the job, Captain.”

“Just wait love.”

He laid you down on the couch, stripped from the waist down, rolled on the condom and laid on top of you, without entering you.  Feeling his bare skin against yours was the strongest physical craving you’d ever had.  You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him so close to you he lost the leverage to thrust into you.  Even though he could easily break out of your grasp, he didn’t, instead kissing you as passionately as you’d ever felt, then letting his head rest on your neck.  He pushed himself up on one elbow, reached the other arm between your bodies and used your dripping wetness to circle your clit until you yelled out so hard it left you hoarse.  Then his fingers were in you again, using your wetness to get himself ready.  He left your leg where it was and listened as you begged him not to go slow, to fuck you with all he had, to give you everything he was right here, right now.  The feeling was indescribable - fullness, pleasure like you had never experienced before, and love, so much love.  When you were both finished, he laid on top of you, breathing heavy and filling you with a feeling of complete contentment.  

“You are amazing, you know that? That was indescribable, Steve.”

“It was truly my pleasure.  Yours, too, but definitely mine.”  You loved it when he made a joke, and one after sex that good felt particularly funny.

As you both got minimally dressed, you suggested sleeping at his place.

“Really?  Yours is so much more homey and so much cleaner.”

“Really.  I want you to have my smell in your bed, so when we can’t be together, it can be another way to think of me, of us.  Plus, we never get to when the girls are home.” “Speaking of….” “I know, we need to figure that out, but we will. They’re not going anywhere, and neither are we.” 

You grabbed your phone charger, phone, nightgown, slippers, and pillow and headed over.  His room was cold, an interesting side-effect of being his own personal furnace.  You got ready in a minute and jumped into bed, your feet freezing.  You giggled as he jumped when he felt your icy toes pressed against his feet.  He turned you towards him and started kissing you, but kept his hands in one place, knowing you had to get up for work the next day.  You laid down and couldn’t help but smile.  You could get used to ending and beginning your day with him next to you.

“I love you Steph.  I never want to know what it’s like not to be with you.”

“I love you, too, and even better, I’m finally excited to see what lies ahead.”

“Baby, there’s nothing better than you loving me.” 

Sleep came easily and peacefully.  Thank God and your boyfriend for small favors.

Why, oh why, did Mondays have to show up and interrupt a perfectly wonderful weekend?  Steve’s alarm went off at the usual time for his run.  You looked at the alarm, and it said, “Run and Wake Up Stephanie.” You wanted to kiss him everywhere just for that, but you didn’t.  You rolled out of bed, kissed his forehead, and went next door with your nighttime stuff, threw on your walking clothes, grabbed your headphones and met him downstairs to stretch before going your separate ways - him for his run, you for your “vigorous” walk.  When you finished, he was already waiting for you at your building, holding life-giving elixir, aka, coffee.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were trying to get into my pants,” as you took a sip and moaned in a rather graphic way.  He poked you with an evil grin as he stole a kiss, “Of course I am.” 

Morning sex had never been your thing, given that you had to get to work early most days, but you still had 2 hours until your first appointment   There was an older couple in the elevator with you, and you kept your distance from each other and made polite chit chat until you got off at your floor.  As soon as you got off and the door closed, Steve grabbed your waist from behind and started kissing you while you held onto your cup for dear life. “Hey, whoa!  I haven’t finished my coffee!  I may love you, but I can’t sacrifice innocent coffee for love.”  

You walked into your apartment, leaned against the sink, turned towards him and sloooooooooooooowly sipped your drink, teasing him with your eyes.  He took a step towards you, took the cup out of your hand, and threw it in the sink, despite your weak protests.  He lifted your bum on the sink and kissed you.  This was not the slow, tender Steve you were used to.  This was a driven, hungry Steve who wanted to fuck your brains out.  You were ok with that.

You frantically started pulling each other’s sweaty clothes off.  You were never good at walking and kissing - the balance thing - and so you moved into the room, ripped off whatever clothing was left and straddled him on the bed.  You had just finished your period the week before, so you knew your chance of pregnancy was slim and you weren’t worried about catching an STD from Steve.  You leaned forward on top of him, sucking on his neck and his earlobe, loving the moans that it elicited.  You took a page from his book and reached between your bodies to feel him.  Still on top, you kissed him and moved down his magnificent body, and gave your attention to his cock.  He was already hard and leaking.  When he used that perfect mouth to beg you to do all kinds of things to him, a switch flipped and your body responded.  You did everything he asked, until you knew he was close.  When you asked him if he was ready to take over and do whatever he wanted to you, it only took him a second to sit up, hold on to you and flip you over.  

“Wait, let me get one.”

“Steve, no, you don’t have to.  I’ll explain later, but I promise I’m not going to get pregnant or give you a disease.”  You could not contain your excitement, moving your legs as far apart as they would go and pulling him towards you.  He laughed and that shit-eating grin made another appearance. “Seems someone teased me earlier while they were drinking coffee….you know, turnabout is fair play.”  He slowly rubbed his head over you, forcing him to look at you while he did it.  Two could play at that game.  You started bringing your legs together, in an attempt to cross them at your ankles.  “Oh, no, no, no, that’s not going to happen, you’ve been waiting all morning for this and like you said last night, I have to finish what I start.”  You could feel yourself gushing as he looked at you.  You smiled.  He smiled as he moved into you.  You both moaned louder than you ever had.  It was the skin-to-skin feeling times 1000.  You felt like it was your first time together.  He pulled you up, wanting to experience every possible way of moving inside you like this and held you close.  It was one of the most intimate and sensual feelings you’d ever experienced.  

“Baby, I can’t believe how good you feel, holy shit I never want to stop.”

“Steve don’t stop. I need you. I need this.  Please, lay me down and fuck me over and over. Please.”

You were both sweating and panting, taking each other to the edge and pulling back, not wanting the experience to ever end.  Finally, neither of you could wait another second.  He did as you asked and slammed into you.  Two thrusts was all it took for both of you to hold each other as tight as you could while you released everything you had to each other.  You honestly thought you might have blacked out for a minute.  Even the Super Soldier was well and truly spent, twitching inside of you as you slowly moved your legs, but not pulling out.

“Have you ever done that before?”

“Well, Steve, I have had two children, so yes.”  You laughed as he tickled you, “but it was never like that.  That was….exceptionally exceptional.”

“That’s one reason I love you.”

“Good sex?”

“No, because the sex is not just good, it’s great, but that’s not it.  It’s that you always have the right word.  You always know what to say and it sounds exactly as I think it should sound. The way you talk is amazing.”

“If I didn’t just have about 6 orgasms in a row, I’d show you how much I appreciate that compliment.”

He slipped out, and you actually felt sad, like a piece of you was missing.  He kissed you deeply while cupping your cheek, and pulled you to him to lay your head on his chest.  You lifted off the bed to look at the clock, “Love, I’m going to have to get up in about 2 minutes if I’m going to take a shower, do my hair, and get to work on time, and that's with my first appointment only a short cab ride from here.”  

That only prompted him to hug you even closer and ask you to play hooky. 

“I wish I could love, but this is the end of the school year.  I can’t reschedule, and there are teachers and students I need to see before they leave for the summer.  I also need to be able to bill these places. Just think, in two more weeks I’ll be on summer vacation, the girls will be doing their things, and if you’re home, I can play hooky almost every day.”

Sometimes you hated being a grown up.  Especially today, when it meant leaving your amazingly talented and beautiful boyfriend in bed, who was begging you to stay with him, and go to work.  He even offered to take you to your first appointment on his bike so you could stay with him longer, but thankfully you could decline on grounds of needing more room for your stuff.  “You are so full of it, but I still love you.”  

“Good, because about 30 minutes ago I was full of you, and I definitely still love you.”  He laughed and gave you a wonderful goodbye kiss as your cab pulled up.  

“Have a great day, Steph.”

“You too, love. I’ll stop in tonight if you’re home. We really need a plan to tell the girls, and they're back today. Maybe tonight?” You winked and touched him. “Good luck getting anything done today.”  
He moved closer to you. “Yes ma’am, that’s a roger on the girls. Tonight sounds good.” He touched you. “Good luck sitting down without thinking of me today.” Sitting down or standing up, you knew not thinking of him today was impossible.


	10. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time had come. You were ready to tell two of the most important people in your life, your daughters, about you and Steve’s relationship. It was the natural next step, and, thankfully, ended up being a non-event. The change wasn’t in place very long before Steve left for his first long mission since you started dating, but a return to the old normal was ok. The end of the school year was upon you, and you enlisted Bucky’s help in planning an end-of-the-year surprise to reward the girls (and you) for getting through another school year. You had no idea what other surprises lie in store during the trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s the “kiddo” chapter! I loved writing this, as you might tell by its length (my longest chapter yet!) I’m hoping to get on a more regular schedule of publishing now - my goal is twice a week, but it may be down to one, when work and family demands start to ramp up. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and feel free to leave comments, they are all read with enthusiasm! Enjoy!

What. A. Day.  It was infinitely better because it started with Steve, but it was long nonetheless.  As usual, you were excited to see your daughters after they’d been gone all weekend, but there was a little bit of nervousness around today’s reunion - you and Steve had to talk to them about your relationship.  You both knew it.  It’s not as if you didn’t want to tell them, you just wanted to give your relationship a bit of time before you brought their hearts into it as well.  You figured you’d invite Steve over for dinner and tell them then.  No need to make a big plan or big speech (which went against every fiber of your being, but you were trying to go with the flow).  You received several texts from Steve during the day, some of which were totally NSFW (you’d have to teach him that acronym, ASAP), and some that made your heart melt.  Thank God for the cab ride to your second appointment, or you’d have had no time to respond.

**Steve:** If we’re telling the girls tonight, is it something that requires gifts?

**Steph:**  That is very thoughtful, but not necessary.  Honestly, I think they are going to be ecstatic, and my bet is, at least Lizzy has an idea already.

**Steve:** But I want them to know that I’m not some fly by night guy, that I love you.

**Steph:** You don’t need to do that with gifts.  You already show me that, and them, every day with your actions.  All they have to do is see that you respect me, you respect us as a family unit, and you’re not trying to be their Dad, just a stand-up guy they can count on.

**Steve:** If you say so, but I gotta tell ya babe, I’m nervous.  

**Steph:**  Little different than preparing for a mission, huh?  Don’t worry, you’ll soon find out that dealing with teenagers is JUST like that, at times.  Alright, I’m here, gotta run.  Talk to you later - love you

**Steve:** Love you too

At the end of the day you were running late - a principal called you into her office and you couldn’t say no to that meeting invitation - so you quickly texted your girls, John, and Steve to update them.  Steve offered to have them come over to his house to study until you got home, and they both enthusiastically accepted his invitation.

When you finally got to your building and stepped off the elevator you noticed both your and Steve’s apartment doors open and an absolutely amazing smell wafting into the hallway.  You knew it had to be Gabbi - she always wanted to cook with you and had developed a few specialities, for which you were grateful.  You picked up your pace, eager to see and hug your loves, but stopped in your tracks when you walked in the door.  Big band music was playing, Gabbi and Steve were at the stove, and Lizzy was setting the table.  Though you hadn’t expected to see it, the scene felt completely right.

“MOM!”

“Hi my loves!!! What’s all this?  It smells absolutely wonderful!, and Lizzy, the table looks perfect.  Did I forget someone’s birthday?”

Your older daughter laughed, took your coat and bag, and Steve pulled out a chair for you.  Something big was in the works.

“It’s time to eat!” Gabbi looked so proud of her perfect timing, her work, and her helper.  She and Steve brought everything to the table, poured water for all, and sat down.  Now you were really getting suspicious, but didn’t want to spoil whatever they had planned.

“Gabs, this looks absolutely delicious.  You really are turning into quite a chef.  I’ll gladly hand over the mantle to you whenever you think you’re ready.”  

“Steve helped me! He boiled the water and made the salad.” Steve chuckled as you smirked at him.

“You mean, Mr. Rogers?”

Lizzy looked at you and smiled.  For a 16-year-old, she was so empathetic, so caring.  Her heart was as big as the whole wide world and she always saw things, even if they weren’t spoken aloud.

“Mom, you don’t need to hide that you and Steve are dating anymore.  He told us today, and he told us to call him Steve.”

You looked at your younger daughter, who was smiling ear to ear, and then held her and Lizzy’s hands across the table.  “He did, huh?  How did that conversation go?”

“We weren’t surprised, in case you were wondering.  Just because we’re not adults doesn’t mean we don’t notice things.  Plus, when we were at his house doing our homework this afternoon, we saw your nightgown and headphones on his couch.”  You silently gulped and every single person at the table blushed, but Steve took it to the extreme and turned a deep shade of crimson.

“Steve just told us you two had been hanging out, getting to know each other, and that he thought you were a great person, and a great mom,”

“....and beautiful, don’t forget he said Mom was beautiful, Lizzy!” Now it was your turn for crimson.  You looked at Steve, whose eyes, yet again, were locked on you.  You were getting used to it.  It no longer felt invasive, but protective.  That feeling grew when he joined the conversation.

“...and I told them I loved you, and would be here when any of you wanted or needed me.”

“Sounds like you guys had a pretty good afternoon.” You knew Gabbi was dying to say something. “Did you have any questions for me or Steve?”

“Are you going to get married?”

Her older sister quickly jumped in. “Gabbi - shut it!  You don’t ask that question, it’s embarrassing!” 

“Well she asked if we had any questions!”

“She’s right, Lizzy, I did say that, though I appreciate you trying to prevent Steve and I from dying of embarrassment.”

“Gabbi, I have no idea. Steve and I have only been dating for a little while.  We’ve said, “I love you,” but the next thing on our minds was making sure two of my most important people knew what was going on.  No one knows the future, and as often as I try to plan and nudge it in a direction I like, I can’t when it comes to this. Does that sort of answer your question?”

“Yeah, I guess so.  Are we going to move into Mr…..I mean, Steve’s apartment, or is he going to move in here?” It was nice to look across the table and see Steve supporting you.  It had been a long time since you didn’t have to field important questions by yourself.  You nodded to him.

“No kiddo, nobody’s moving anywhere.  We figure that living next door to each other was close enough for now.  If I’m home, you guys are always welcome.”  

You had to chime in, “...but you still need to knock.”

“...but will you sleep here sometimes?  Or will Mom sleep at your house?”  You looked at his face, and though you didn’t have all the answers, you let him off the hook for this one.

“Gabbi, I’m so happy that you’re asking questions, but this one, not so much.  Some things are private between the two people in a relationship - heck, you don’t even want to tell me what you did in school, let alone anything more serious, like about….oh, I don’t know….Jason?”

Lizzy laughed, and Gabbi turned as red as a tomato, “Mooooooooooooooom!”

“Sweetie, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to embarrass you, but just trying to explain that you guys are used to knowing pretty much everything about my life and the way I make decisions in this house.  That’s not going to change, but there are certain things that will remain private between Steve and I, for good reason.  One thing to know is that I trust him and that you can trust him to, at your own speed.  Second thing is that you two will not be sleeping alone in this apartment, so no, I won’t be sleeping at his house when you guys are home.  Third thing is you can always ask me or Steve anything, and just because we may not explain every little detail, you can believe us.  Neither of us will ever lie to you.  Look at me, this is serious.  Neither of us will EVER. LIE. TO. YOU. We good?”

“Good, Mom.”

“That’s good, Mom.”

“Ok, then.  Can we please eat, I am starving!”

Dinner was delicious.  Steve kept looking at all of you and smiling to himself.  It felt very much like the dinners you had before you started dating.  He asked the same questions - how their days were, how finals were going for Lizzy, how volleyball tryouts went for Gabbi, and how much he contributed to the final fundraising totals by the end of the year.  That made you laugh, and it felt incredibly normal. You took out the rest of the Boston Cream Pie Bucky brought last night, and it was gone before you sat down to eat your piece.  You told them that the person who brought it was Steve’s best friend, and that they would hopefully meet him soon because you invited him for dinner next time he visited.  

Later, while she and Steve were side-by-side doing the dishes at the sink, Lizzy turned to you.

“Mom, I have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“We all know who Steve is, when he’s not just Steve, right?”

“Yup.”

“Who else can know? What are we supposed to say to people if they ask about him, who he is to us?”

That one made you pause.  You weren’t sure.  You’d been so focused on telling them about the two of you that you hadn’t thought about that part of the equation.  “I’m not sure, sweetie.  I think that would be a better question for Steve.”

“That’s a great question kid.  For now, I’d say let’s keep it as it is.  I’m Steve, your cool neighbor and your Mom’s amazing boyfriend.  If someone asks specifically about my job, then you can answer as you feel comfortable.  It’s not a secret, certainly, Captain America has been around a long time.  If they want to know more, you can always direct them to the Smithsonian, they’ve got a big exhibit on me.  How does that sound?”  All three of you giggled.

“Good.”

“Gabbi, did you hear that?”

“Yes, Mom.”

Monday night was always your planning night with the girls, and tonight was no different, even though it felt like it should be.  Steve said goodnight, and when you walked him to the door, you knew the girls staring at you.  You turned to them and stuck your tongue out, making them laugh.  Then you kissed Steve (chastely, you didn’t want to put him or them into heart failure) and said goodnight, for now.  You turned around, clapped your hands together, Mr. Miyagi style, and got to work.  

Not surprisingly, they each had a lot to say to you privately at bedtime.  You were so proud of how caring they were, welcoming Steve into their lives without reservation.  Lizzy told you she was happy for you and that she thought you and Steve made a cute couple.  Gabbi told you the same, and wondered when she would meet the other Avengers. They both wanted to know if their Dad knew about you and Steve, and if he knew about Steve’s “job.” You assured them that yes, John knew both things, and was very happy for you.  You assured them that the three of you and Steve would have John and Sue over for dinner one night, so everyone could get to know each other better.

When you closed their doors, you were relieved.  That had gone very well.  You knew that this was just the beginning, but it was a good, solid beginning, and for this moment, everyone was on the same page.  That’s all you could ask.  You puttered in the living room, got your lunch and work stuff ready for tomorrow, turned on Netflix and picked up your recent TV obsession where you left off.  You must have drifted off - it had been a big day - and your text alert woke you up.  Again.  

**Maria:** Hey chicas, what’s the verdict on the 4th of July?

**Steph:** Thanks for checking back in - Steve and his friend Bucky want to come, but their job can take them away the last minute.  Regardless, if they don’t come, me and my 2 will be there.  I haven’t talked to them yet about doing little kid round-up that day, but I’m sure for the right price, they would.  

**Jen:** We’re all good here.  It’s possible Rob will get called in, but ditto Steph - me and my little animals will be there.

**Ally:** On the calendar.  Let’s talk caterer.

The three of them went on for several turns about the menu, how many people they needed to plan for (Jen: Does Bucky have a gf?”, “Not right now, but he and Steve can eat 3 people’s worth.  I’m not exaggerating.  Count them as 3 each.”), and caterers that wouldn’t break the bank but be reliable and do what was asked of them.  They came up with several names, and each one of us was tasked with calling one and asking questions that Maria would email to us.

**Steph:** FYI, I’m at 3 different buildings tomorrow so I won’t have time to call until the day after.

**Maria:** I’ll probably call on my lunch tomorrow, if one of my little cherubs doesn’t need me.

**Jen:** See ^ - ditto

**Ally:** I’ll call, and tell you what, if I can, I’ll just go down the list.  I’ll let you all know what, if any, progress I make.

**Steph, Maria, Jen:** THANK YOU ALLY.

**Ally:** No problem.  I’ve got tomorrow off.

**Steph:** Night my loves.  I’m already drifting off, so I’ll talk to you all tomorrow.  May you sleep half as soundly as your men, and twice as long as your kids.

**Maria:** From your mouth to God’s ears.

**Jen:** HALLELUJAH

**Ally:** I’m never having kids.

**Maria:** That’s what we all said…..and look at our glamorous lives now. :)

You were embarrassed that you almost went to bed without saying goodnight to Steve.  You stepped out and knocked on his door.  He answered with his phone to his ear and a serious expression.  “Yup.  Tell the team wheels up at 0600.  Remind Tony that means in the morning, please.  Send me the intel now.  Channel 2 secure.”

You smiled and sighed at the same time.  He put down the phone, looked at you with that smile and those eyes and wrapped his arms around you.  “Gotta go.  Leaving early tomorrow from the compound, so I need to get on the road.”

“Can you tell me anything?”

“Standard peacekeeping mission, overseas, not sure how long we’ll be needed.”

“Well, can I help you pack, at least?”

“Of course.  Come on in.”

It did not take long for him to collect everything he needed, since he had many of the required items at the compound.  You talked about how each of you felt the evening went, and he checked in to make sure you weren’t upset that he told the girls first.

“Funny you ask that.  Normally, that would’ve gotten to me, but it didn’t.  I’m curious how it came about, though.  My bet is they tagteamed you.”

“Pretty much.  Like they said, they saw your nightgown and headphones on the couch. I could see they were texting each other, trying to figure out how to ask if they were yours, or belonged to someone else.  Lizzy told me that they looked an “awful lot” like yours, and wasn’t that a coincidence?” You had to laugh.  They were their mother’s daughters.

Then I could see Lizzy not-so-subtly trying to ask if I had a girlfriend, so I made the call to tell them, since we had talked about telling them tonight, anyway.  It was short and sweet.  Gabbi was the one who suggested we all cook dinner together to celebrate and so you wouldn’t have to when you got home.”

“That was one hell of a great surprise, thank you.”

He looked at his watch, and pulled you in for another squeeze and kiss  “I gotta go, but I wanted to tell you that Bucky’s not going on this mission.  How would you feel if I asked him to come by?”

“I would love that, and I thank you for thinking of us, but I don’t want to make any extra work for him.  Since I know he’ll be around and probably on his own, I’ll text him and ask him to dinner and make sure he comes.  Can he stay at your place the night he comes over?”

“Yeah, sure.  He has a key, but then again, so do you.”

“I’ll tell the girls they need to be on plant duty.  It won’t be much - would you mind if I got you one or two more, so they feel like they’re doing something?” 

His laugh was becoming one of your favorite sounds.  You kissed him for a full minute, put your foreheads together, and put your hand on his heart.  “Stay safe, my love.  I am so proud of who you are, and what you do.  Thank you for keeping us all safe.  I love you.”

“Thank you baby, I love you too.  I’ll be in touch if I can.”

“Of course.  See you when I see you.” The elevator doors closed between you and you walked back to your apartment.

You were so tired that even though you would usually be up all night thinking, you fell asleep almost as soon as your head hit the pillow.  It seems like you “forgot” to set your exercise alarm, so when the “get up now or you won’t get paid” alarm went off, you felt rested.  The mornings were usually quiet, because your children communicated in monosyllabic grunts at that time of day and ignored you when you spoke in anything other than short declarative statements, such as “You have 10 minutes,” or “Please make your bed.”  They started giving you wicked side-eye when you started to mention Steve.

You told them he had left for a mission late the night before, and that you didn’t know much except he was overseas and would get in touch when he could.  Lizzy asked if you were ok, and Gabbi asked when they’d be able to go water his plants.  After you devised the incredibly concise schedule of watering Steve’s dying vegetation, you reminded them of the commitments all of you had today, and asked them if they would like to go for a walk when you got home, if the weather cooperated.  You were all up and out by 7am, and though you felt a bit lonely, you reminded yourself of how many years you did this exact same thing without Steve around.  That didn’t make things much better.

That night after your family “walk and talk” you decided to treat everyone to dinner out.  After a few minutes of haggling, it was decided that Tony’s would get your money tonight.  Dinner was fun, with summer vacation looming in the very near future, ideas for their (and your) time off were discussed and some solid ideas made it to the second round of negotiations.  You felt like there was something missing, no surprise, but a return to the “old normal” was certainly comforting.

The last 3 weeks of school flew for everyone.  End-of-year teacher gifts, playoffs, meetings, report cards, reports - all three of you were running morning-til-night, but eagerly anticipating the reward that was coming when it was done.  You heard from Steve occasionally, a brief “I love you, I’m safe.” text here and there, and it was enough to keep you from the over-thinking you were famous for.  

Getting Bucky to come over for dinner had proven harder than you expected, though.  Even though he wasn’t with Steve, he had to keep himself available for any domestic issues that arose.  Finally, you asked him if you and the girls could come up to the compound to make dinner for him.  After he asked the powers-that-be if that was possible and got the go-ahead, you picked the evening of the last day of school.  You would make dinner there, he would give you all a tour, and you were given permission to stay the night.  This was going to be quite a big end-of-the-year surprise.  

When the girls waltzed in the house at the end of their last day (“I don’t even know why we went - we were only there for 2 hours and we didn’t do anything.”), you had all the stuff you needed ready and packed.  After quickly catching up and grabbing a bite to eat, it was time to get on the road.   You were again grateful for Maria and her husband who let you borrow their minivan for a few nights, what with the coolers, the bags, and the 3 of you.  Seeing it all packed up was an obvious reminder that you always packed too much.  

“Where are we going?”

“The destination is a surprise, but it’s an overnight trip to celebrate the end of the school year.”

“Are we going to see Grandma and Grandpa?”

“No, unfortunately, we’re not, but I’m hoping we will this summer.  All I will say is that neither of you have ever been there, but you will love it.  Very rustic.”

Gabbi sighed, “Great.  Rustic = no wifi or LTE”  Boy, was she in for a surprise. 

You texted Bucky as you got in the car and punched the address into your GPS.  

“Hey, doll, text me again when you’re close by. That way I’ll be waiting for you at the gate and security won’t be a hassle.”

“Thanks Buck.  See you in a few hours.”

Traffic was heavy going south, but luckily you were going in the opposite direction.  The girls watched their phones, slept some, and by the time you arrived, were complaining about being hungry.  Bucky was there, as he said he would be, a long-sleeve jacket and gloves on as you pulled up to the gate.  You got out to say hi, stretch, and give him a big hug.  

“Thank you Buck, I really appreciate this.”

“I don’t know what I did, other than invite you and your girls to make me dinner and keep me company.”

“Girls get out for a second.  Excuse me, Bucky, they need to be surgically removed from their phones.  GIRLS.  TAKE YOUR HEADPHONES OUT.  I want you to meet someone.  Do you remember I told you about Bucky, Steve’s best friend and bringer of Boston Cream Pie?  Well, you’re finally getting to meet him.”

Bucky seemed a little nervous, but was fine shaking their hands and doing introductions.  The girls were very polite, but clearly curious.  

“I’ve already taken care of security.”  He pushed a button, put his flesh hand on the ID scanner pad, and the gate swung open.  You told him to hop in so he could show you where to put the van, and it was comical to see his humongous frame fold into the passenger seat.  As you drove up to the main building, both girls saw the large red “A” and screamed.  Bucky blanched as Gabbi screamed, “OH MY GOD.  MOM, FOR REAL?!?!?!?!?!?”  Lizzy was smiling and getting ready to snap pictures, when you reminded her that she couldn’t without getting permission.  

Bucky carried the coolers and other food stuff inside, while you and the girls carried your bags to the guest room.  It was the same one you had stayed in with Steve for your first date, and those memories threatened to come back with a vengeance.  You pushed them aside to think about later and saw Bucky showing the girls where everything was and how to talk to FRIDAY, which they could not wait to try.  Repeatedly.  “Can I warn FRIDAY that this might get very old by the time they leave?”  You had to laugh when she answered, “Miss, I am used to Mr. Stark, so anything else pales in comparison.”  Even Bucky burst out laughing at that one.

After freshening up, you asked FRIDAY to lead all of you to the kitchen.  Bucky was there, having put everything away that you brought in the coolers. Thoughtfulness always made your heart melt.  You started dinner, and asked Buck if it was possible to entertain the girls while you cooked, as it was going to take awhile.  

“Sure, doll.  How does a tour sound?”

“OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD.” You laughed as you encouraged your younger daughter to breathe deeply.

“Yes, please Mr. Barnes, we would love that.” 

“Mr. Barnes?  Mr. Barnes was my father kid, call me Bucky.”  Lizzy looked at you and you nodded your approval.  You loved how polite your kids were.  Well, at least to others, most of the time.

You kissed them, reminded them to behave and not to touch anything without permission, and got to work.  Even though Bucky was the only Avenger at the compound, you knew he wasn’t the only person in residence, so you brought as much food as you could fit in the coolers, hoping to leave leftovers.  You prepped, stirred, fried, and finally set the oven timer for an hour.

After setting the table and cleaning up, you relaxed while the food did its thing.  During that hour, you scrolled through your social media feeds and started an e-book someone at work recommended.  You didn’t realize how fast the time passed until you saw Bucky and the girls walk in.

“So? Have fun?”

“Oh my God Mom, there is so much genius stuff here!  Bucky showed us the computer lab from the hall because we couldn’t go in, and the gym, and his room, and the pool and we saw the outside.  IT IS AWESOME!”  Bucky laughed, clearly getting used to the high drama of your 12-year-old.  

“How about you Liz?”

“It was awesome Mom, just like Gabs said.”

“The food smells delicious, Steph. I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t wait to eat. Is it almost ready?”

“I’d say another 15 minutes and it’ll be time to chow down.  Bucky, I hate to impose again, but could you bring them back to our room so they can wash up and put away their technology? By the time you get back, it’ll be ready.”

“No problem.  C’mon kids, let’s do as your Ma says.”

You had everything on the table and the candles lit by the time they got back.  

“Wow, check out this fancy spread!  You didn’t have to do all this.”

“It’s the least I could do for helping me surprise my girls like this.”

“Really it was nothing, but my Ma would kill me if I didn’t say you’re welcome.”   
  


Dinner was delicious.  Most of the conversation was centered on Bucky.  The girls wanted to know everything about his life.  You were worried they might ask too many questions that would offend or upset him, so you let it slip that he had grown up in Brooklyn with Steve. That fully grabbed their attention, and they unleashed a flood of questions about where he lived, how much things cost, what he did for fun….

“Guys, let Bucky eat, please.  The poor guy has barely had a bite.”

“It’s alright Steph, I like talking about the old days with Steve.”  Oh geez, a new torrent of questions were released.

“What was Steve like? How small WAS he? What was he good at?”

 

“I wasn’t good at much, that’s for sure. If it hadn’t been for Bucky I probably wouldn’t have graduated from high school in one piece.”

 

Bucky smiled while the girls screeched with excitement, leaving their dinner to give Steve hugs that probably would’ve knocked down someone smaller.  He looked surprised for a minute, then hugged them back, looking over their heads to you with the sexiest smile you had ever seen.  

 

“Hey punk, welcome back.  How did things go?”

“Ok, Buck.  You know, things always come up, but we handled it just fine.”  

 

You waited until the girls sat back down before getting up and being wrapped in one of Steve’s life-giving hugs. You put your head on his neck and he held you like he hadn’t seen you in months.  

 

“I’m glad you’re back.  I missed you, Steve.”

“Glad to be back, baby, I missed you, too.”

 

He knew you were being watched, so his kiss was light and quick, but you returned it with a little more emphasis - you were human, after all.  You heard Bucky keeping the girls occupied with Steve stories so their eyes wouldn’t track your every move.  

 

“What are you doing here?”

“Fair question.  Bucky and I have been trying to plan dinner since you left - what was that, 3 weeks ago?”

“3 weeks and 2 days, to be exact.”  You loved exact.

“He wasn’t able to come to Brooklyn, so he and I cooked up this visit, no pun intended.  I wanted him to meet the girls and eat a home cooked meal.  He pulled out all the stops and got us cleared for a night at the compound to celebrate the end of the school year.”

“School’s over already? I’m sorry Steph, I wanted to be here to celebrate with you.”

“No need to be sorry - the last day was today, and you are here, there’s nothing else I could ever want.  Maybe except another kiss.”  He was happy to oblige.

 

Steve grabbed a plate of food and went to the debriefing that always followed a mission.  Within 10 minutes there was a large and hungry swarm of Avengers looking for food.  Bucky covered his plate with his arms and your girls were shocked into silent gawking, particularly Gabbi.  

 

“Steph! When I saw Steve with food that looked and smelled this good, I knew it had to be you!  Give me a hug, girl!”

“Hi Sam, it’s so nice to see you again.  I want to introduce you to my daughters Elizabeth and Gable.  Girls, this is Mr. Wilson.”

Both stood up and shook his hand, “Mr. Wilson, it’s very nice to meet you.”

“Welcome ladies.  I’d love to sit down and chat but I have to go to a meeting.  Are you staying over tonight?”  The girls nodded at the same time and Sam laughed.

“Alright, well after I do this thing and clean up a bit, wanna go on a tour, maybe get in the pool?”  They both looked at you and you smiled.  You looked at Sam, and silently mouthed, “Thank you.”

 

Natasha was next, followed by Clint and Wanda.  All of them, in turn, showed the girls kindness, attention, and interest.  You couldn’t have asked for more.  “Girls, they have to get to their meeting.  It seems like you’ll see them later.  Thank you all for taking the time to say hi.”

 

“No, thank YOU for feeding us.  We usually get take out after a mission because no one wants to cook.  This was a real treat.  Thanks, it reminded me of home - my wife Laura makes a mean chicken parm, too.”

 

It was funny.  Waiting for Steve to be done with the debriefing was harder to get through than the three weeks and 2 days he was gone.  As soon as the team left, the girls started talking at the same time, saying different things, at a rate that could rival a professional speed talker.  Bucky was lost, “Whoa, WHOA! Wait a minute! I don’t know if your Ma understands what you’re saying, but I don’t.  Could you guys slow down just a little bit?  Maybe talk one at a time?”

 

After that, they did as they were asked and the rest of the meal flew.  By the time dessert was done, the debriefing was also, and the team came back looking to partake.  This time, they were all able to sit around the table and relax.  The girls were so star struck they said nothing, just sat, eyes wide.  As cliched as the saying is, their faces really did look like it was Christmas morning.   After everyone pitched in to clean up (except you, Bucky would not even let you stand up), Sam kept his promise and along with Wanda and Clint, took the girls back to your room to get their swim stuff and towels, and took them on “a grand adventure.”  

 

You had not seen them move that fast in years, not even looking back towards you, but Sam did, shoo-ing you out of the dining room and making the most ridiculous kissy faces behind the girls’ backs.  You and Steve both cracked up.  Bucky finished putting the food away, and when you started to make coffee, he gently grabbed your hand with his metal one. “Steph, go.  Steve’s here, I can make coffee.  You both deserve some time together.”  You gave him your usual hug plus a little extra, and kissed his cheek.  “Thanks Bucky, tonight was wonderful.”  As she walked out of the room, Natasha came up to you and asked if it was ok for the girls to have a pajama party with her and Wanda.  You gave your permission wholeheartedly.  

 

“Thanks Nat.  If you need either of us, we’ll be in my suite.”  

“No kidding, Rogers, I don’t know why you aren’t there already.”

 

“They are amazing.  The girls are so lucky.  They’ll be talking about this forever.” 

Steve turned to look at you, “I feel pretty lucky, too. Come on, it's my turn to have you.”

 

As you walked, you held hands and talked about nothing of importance until you got inside Steve’s room.  He told FRIDAY to alert you if your daughters needed anything, but other than that or an emergency, to keep the world on the other side of the door. 

 

“I need to shower, if that’s ok.”  You had to chuckle.  

“I think I can hold back my animal desires until you’re done with that.  Enjoy, love.”  

He walked into his room and left the door open, so you could get the full view of him undressing, which you did not complain about.  After a minute, you walked into his room and found one of his t-shirts which was, even for you, baggy.  You took off your clothes and slipped his shirt on, loving not only how it felt against you, but the feeling it gave you of belonging.  You belonged to Steve, just as he belonged to you.  To say your engine was warming up was an understatement.  

 

You went back out into the living room to grab your phone charger out of your bag.  When you stood up, Steve was right behind you and scared the crap out of you.  You jumped, he roared, and you giggled and punched him.  “I have a small surprise for you, but it’s not something to see, it’s something to listen to.”  His eyes never left you as you walked to his room, turned the lights off, opened the doors to his balcony, and started the “1940’s Love Songs” playlist you started creating when he left.  

 

When he heard the first song, “You’d Be So Nice to Come Home To,” he was astonished.  

 

“How?”

 

“Technology is a wonderful thing.”  You moved towards him, you in his shirt, him in his low-slung sweatpants, and held out your hand.  “I’d love to dance with you Steve.  Would you?”

He gently took your left hand in his, laying it on his chest and put his other arm around your waist.  “I would be honored.”  He kissed you with a look of faraway thoughts and happiness on his face.  He pulled you close and started moving you back and forth in small steps, in time with the music.  It was slow and dreamy, and made you realize why people fell in love while dancing to it.  His head rested on top of yours, which was snuggled into his chest.  You heard him sigh.

 

“This music is so beautiful, it’s easy to see why dance halls were popular.  This is music you can dance to, even if dancing isn’t your thing.”

 

“I always loved listening to music, and dancing, too, but Buck was the real dancer and lady killer.  Not too many girls wanted to dance with someone who wasn’t enlisted or was as scrawny as I was.”

 

“ I know it was a long time ago, but it breaks my heart to hear you say that.”

 

“Steph I don’t want to ever be responsible for breaking your heart, so just think about today, about now.  Think about what I think about - how incredible you are, how sexy, how smart, how loving.” He tipped your head up with his fingers and looked at you.  You had never been looked at like that before, even by him.  “Think about how happy I am because of you, and how much I love you.”

 

“That’s a wonderful thing to think about.” You had no choice but to kiss him.  The hand on your waist moved tighter to encircle you, meeting his other hand at your back.  Your hands moved up to his neck, gently playing with his hair while your lips moved slowly and perfectly together.  You let out a sigh as your foreheads touched and he continued to lead you in this simple, perfect dance. 

 

“Stephanie Elizabeth, I missed you so much.  I can’t believe I get to tell you that tonight, in person. I love you.”

“I’m so glad you’re home, safe and sound Cap. Tonight feels like a dream.”

 

He whispered in your ear, “Come to bed.”  He led you there, sitting on the edge while you stood between his legs.  He gently and reverently picked up the hem of the t-shirt and slowly ran his hands up your thighs and hips as he lifted it.  You closed your eyes, let your head fall back, and rested your hands on his shoulders.  You weren’t surprised when you heard, “Look at me.  Please.” You looked down to see him kissing your tummy, and moving the shirt higher so he could worship your breasts with his mouth.  Quickly, he stood up and lifted your arms over your head and threw the shirt to the floor, leaving you completely naked.  He wrapped his arms around you, giving you exactly what you wanted, his skin on yours.  You tucked your thumbs under the waistband of his sweats and tugged, while he kissed your neck, your mouth, your shoulders, anywhere he could reach. His pants were soon off, and you both stood, foreheads touching, breath heavy, but not frantic.  

 

You looked away, towards the balcony and the moonlight that was pouring into the room, lighting you from every angle.  Steve watched you while he ran his fingers lightly through your hair, down your face, neck,shoulders, and arms.  He started to whisper as he kissed your neck, “You are so beautiful.  How did I get so lucky to have you as my girl?” You took his hand, and brought his palm to your mouth to kiss it and lay it on your cheek.  

 

The answer was simple.  “I didn’t have a choice. You are my one”

 


	11. Happy Birthday, Captain America

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sweet relief at the end of another school year was immediately followed by your excitement to celebrate Steve’s birthday and celebrate the 4th of July with a long-overdue party thrown by you and your best friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many, many sincere thanks to @MsEnglish101 for being such a careful and supportive editor. I appreciate all the kudos and lovely comments, and I hope this chapter meets your expectations. I really enjoyed writing it, and it’s fun to see how Steve and Steph’s story evolves. Enjoy!!!

Summer always went by so quickly.  You’d been working in different schools almost 20 years and every single year, the hot months were over before you knew it.  Not this summer.  You were determined to enjoy your time with your kids, with Steve, and with your friends.  You were excited to kick it off at the 4th of July BBQ that you and your girl squad had been planning for a few months.  It was the same day as Steve’s 100th birthday, so you wanted it to be special, but you knew he wouldn’t want to draw attention to himself there, so a quiet celebration was going to be tacked on at the end, with just your crew and closest friends.  You, Bucky, and the girls had multiple covert meetings to think of gift ideas, and you were all excited to see his face when he opened what you finally decided upon.

 

All but one of you were in education and supremely, annoyingly in love with the details inherent in party planning.  The only non-educator of the bunch was Ally and thank God for her - she was the only reason the three of you didn’t kill each other.  Ally was in charge of making sure people actually had fun while the three of you planned to your heart’s content.  Your girls were already excited to run a 4th of July kid camp that day so that the parents could actually relax.  They had planned it right alongside you and recruited the gaggle of teenage boys and girls that regularly made your apartment their hangout to work that day.  The girls asked Maria and you if your ex-husband and his fiancee could come because they wanted to show them all the work they did, and of course, the both of you agreed.

 

The weeks leading up to the party were filled with planning and marathon group texts that continued long into the night (Steve actually threw your phone into the next room once when it kept going off while he was trying to be romantic. You get a new one the next day). By the time the week of the party rolled around, everything that could possibly be handled was handled, so you relaxed and enjoyed the start of your vacation.  A few days before, the girls were at friends’ houses doing “last minute planning” for the day and for how they were going to spend their earnings. That left you and Steve alone to begin his birthday celebration a day early.

 

All he wanted to do was stay in and watch a movie at your house.  You didn’t try to convince him otherwise, because you knew it would do no good and because you also loved the idea.  He wanted you to make the same dinner you did the night of your first date, so lasagna it was.  After dinner, you were both anxious to start the movie, so you laid your head on his shoulder and settled in.  You were surprised when he paused it.

 

“Steph, I don’t think you can really call me a ‘birthday boy,’ can you?  I mean, I’m going to be 100.”  You moved your head to his lap, so you could look up at his face while he spoke. “I don’t want you to make a big deal of this, especially at the party tomorrow.”

“I knew you wouldn’t want a surprise celebration, so don’t worry, you won’t be ambushed.”  He started absentmindedly moving his fingers through your hair.  He looked relieved.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“That doesn’t mean I’m not going to celebrate you, though.  Unless you give me a direct order, I’ve got something planned just for you and me.”

 

“No, soldier, no direct orders.  What did you get me?”

 

“Hey, your birthday is  _ tomorrow _ .  I can’t ruin the surprise by telling you now.”  His fake pout was so adorable, you pulled his head down to your lips.  He took the opportunity to run his fingers under your shirt and place his massive hand on your stomach, moving his fingers in circles from your waist to right under your bra.  After some not-so-subtle encouragement from you, he ran his fingers over the bra, lightly raking his fingernails and making you squirm and smile under his kiss.

 

“Can’t you give me something to open now?  Please?”

 

You sat up and  got off the couch. “Give me a few minutes.  Stay right here.”

 

He watched you enter your bedroom and close the door.  When you opened it up again, he jumped up and started slowly walking towards you, staring.  

 

“Steph.  Oh my God, how did you do this?”

 

In the last 2 months you had scoured every website and clothing store, finally finding a dress in your size that was just like one you’d seen online in the “Women of the 1940’s” portion of the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian.  It was wine colored and floor length, with a deep v-neck, cap sleeves, and a shirred waist.  You had a deep red flower haircomb with matching lipstick.  You nervously handed him an envelope.  “Happy Birthday, Captain Rogers.”

 

He opened it and slowly pulled out the birthday card inside.  He looked up with tears in his eyes as he held the picture of Bucky and him smiling during the Howling Commandos era.  

 

“There’s one more in there.”

 

You had included a picture you took of the two men all dressed up at a recent party.  He took your hands in his and leaned forward to kiss you.  “Thank you.  These are perfect, I love them.”

 

You held onto his hands and pulled him as you walked backwards towards your bedroom.  “You're welcome, but you have one other present to open tonight.”  You turned around, moved your hair to the side, and shivered as he slowly unzipped the dress.  He kissed your back as he moved his hands under the top of the dress and slowly pushed it off your shoulders. “Promise me you’ll let me take you out in this dress.  I want people to see how gorgeous you are, and to know how proud I am for you to be my girl.”  

 

“I promise.”

 

“Right now, though, I’d prefer it be anywhere except on you. May I?”

 

“You better.”  

 

He turned you towards him, and let the dress slip down to the floor.  He stepped back when he realized you were wearing a push-up bra, stockings, and garters underneath.  He stood in front of you, his eyes taking in every inch. “I thought you might like to reminisce about what girls wore back in the day.”  

 

He smiled and followed the curve of your chin with his finger. “Until I was Captain America, no girl ever let me get this far, and certainly no one I loved.”  He reached around to unhook your bra while you closed your eyes and breathed. He threw it aside and knelt in front of you, unsnapping your garter belt and rolling down the stockings.  You were having a hard time not touching him.  You pulled him up to standing and started finding ways to feel his skin against you.  “Steve, please….”  

 

He laid you down on the bed, kissing you lightly while you ran your fingernails down his massive shoulders and leaned your head back so he could kiss your neck.  He moved his hands between your bodies, exploring you, feeling how soaked you were and how much you needed him.  He lifted himself up and stared at you as he gently pushed himself inside, kissing your neck hard enough you knew you'd have a bruise very soon. He moved one of your legs up and held it so your knee was bent, and continued thrusting inside of you, making you call out his name each time.  You both were close, but he slowed down and looked at you.  You smiled and kissed him, both hands cupping his beautiful face, and as he moved faster he started telling you he loved you over and over until your body was shaking and you were holding each other so tightly you found it hard to breathe.  He shuddered as he finished, not letting go as he flipped onto his back. You were happy. Supremely happy, to be exact. You breathed deeply and closed your eyes as you moved your hand over his chest, feeling his heartbeat.  He kissed the top of your hair and as you looked up to kiss him back you saw him staring up at the ceiling, looking worried. 

 

“Whats wrong?”

 

“I’m scared.”  Now  _ you _ were worried.  Of course Steve could be scared, but it happened so seldom that you knew it was serious. 

 

“Tell me, love.  Please.”

He couldn’t look at you.  “I’ve never felt this way about anyone, ever.”  You were quiet and he started moving his thumbs over your hands, worrying at them. “My life has always operated on the premise that I could never be too attached to anyone, especially after I lost Bucky.  I could keep a lid on my emotions and not let them cloud my judgment or affect my mission.  Now, I feel like I could let that all go, everything I thought my life was built on, to be with you.”

 

When the enormity of what he said sunk in, you took a slow, quiet breath.  He moved his head to your chest and wrapped his arms around you.  You stroked and kissed his hair but you didn’t know what to say.  He just told you that he saw a long future for the two of you.  You weren’t sure how to tell him you wanted the same thing but didn’t want something from him that he wasn’t ready to give, that you were willing to move as slowly as he needed in order to be comfortable.  You weren’t planning on going anywhere.

 

“Steph?”

 

“Yes love?”

 

“You ok?  You’re not talking.”

 

You laughed, “That  _ is _ usually a cause for concern, or celebration, whichever meets your needs.”

 

He sat up and looked at you, unflinching.  “I’m being serious.”

 

“I know. I want to tell you how I feel, but I don’t want you to feel like I’m pushing you to move more quickly than you’re ready for or that I need you to do or say something that feels wrong to you.”

 

He stood up and pulled on his sweats, looking away and walking to the window.  His silence and distance made you feel panicked, like tentacles starting to crawl their way all over you.  He 

stood, silent, looking out at the dark city while you were frozen to your spot on the bed.  You were so focused on staying calm that it took you a minute to realize he was talking.

 

“You don’t understand.  My fear is not that  _ I _ feel these things, it’s that you don’t.  I don’t think you see - I don’t want to be apart from you - not at night when I can’t hold you as I fall asleep, not in the morning when I can’t kiss you as soon as you open your eyes.  I’m afraid that saying these things out loud will scare you away, and I’m afraid you don’t want what I want to give you, which is everything.”

 

Cue the waterworks. Before you could start to ugly cry, you ran into your bathroom, locking the door behind you.  You turned on the faucet in the bathtub and sobbed, in part because of the adrenaline retreating after your rising sense of panic, and in part because you had always dreamed someone would love you as much as he just said he did.  Yeah, you were the hottest of hot messes.  

Steve knocked softly at the door and tried the knob, “Steph, what’s wrong?  Open the door.”

 

“No, I’m fine.  I just need a few minutes. Why don’t you go watch the rest of the movie?”

 

“I’m not doing that.  I’m not moving until you open the door.”

 

“Ok,” and you decided you weren’t leaving the bathroom.  Ever.  You had mothered toddlers AND teens, you knew how to dig in your heels and wait people out.

 

You breathed deeply and dared to look at yourself in the mirror.  You had skipped over “freshly fucked” and went straight to “frightening.”  You took a shower and sang at the top of your lungs, which made you feel much better.  You dried your hair and blew it out, which was two things more than you usually did, but hey, you were killing time.  You felt like yourself again but were cold and hungry.  You didn’t even know what time it was, but you didn’t hear anything outside the door and figured Steve had left in search of sustenance, so you chanced it and cracked open the door.  He was standing in front of it as you opened it.  When he saw you he used his body to block you from closing it again.  He was not smiling.

 

“Well, I know when I’ve been beat.  You win, Steve.”

 

“I’m not trying to win, I’m trying to figure out what happened and how I can help.”

 

“Can we eat first?  I’m hungry.”

 

His face softened. “Sure, sweetie.”

 

After you got some leftover lasagna and a cup of hot tea you both returned to the same couch you were on a few hours ago. This time your feet were under his legs and you had one of his hoodies on over some leggings. 

 

He wasn't letting this go. “Ready to tell me what happened?”

 

“Nope, but I will.  When you got out of bed and were staring out the window, I started to panic. I thought you were going to say that the way you felt made you want to take a break. Then when you obviously didn't say that and the relief flooded my system, I knew I was going to bawl. I didn't want you to have to see that again. 

 

“You know I heard you crying, right?”

 

“Yup, but I was trying to maintain a shred of dignity. This is the second time you've shared something huge and amazing and vulnerable with me and I've had a breakdown. I honestly don’t know what my problem is.  It's not too late, you can still save yourself from my particular brand of crazy.”

 

“It's  _ you _ that saved  _ me, _ Steph. I never thought I'd have what we have, and my life is so much better because of it.”  

 

“No one has ever said something like that to me.”

 

“Even when you were married….John?”

 

Chuckling, you realized how little you had shared about your marriage and divorce. Now was not the time. “That's a long story for another time. For tonight, I'll just say that he wasn't much for expressing his feelings.”  You glanced at your phone. “Look at the time.”

 

“Ok, I looked.  What?”

 

You stood up and started singing “Happy Birthday” at the top of your lungs.  He smiled ear to ear and stood up to hug you.  You held his face in your hands and kissed him, all the drama of the previous hour gone in your excitement.  

 

“I have one more present for you, because I wasn’t planning on unveiling the dress until tomorrow.”

 

“I’m very, very glad you did.”

 

“Me, too.  Do you want your present now or later today?  I mean, you are the king of restraint and all.”

 

“Not when it comes to you...or birthday presents.”

 

After you got ready for bed, you handed him a box.  His face lit up, which, on its own, made your day.  He opened the gift very carefully, which reminded you of your grandmother, who saved every piece of wrapping paper to use again.   It was another picture, but this time, it was of the two of you, in a frame.  “I love it, thank you so much.”

 

“Turn it around.” 

 

He wiggled an envelope out of the back of the frame.  When he realized what was inside, he sat up on his knees and hugged you so hard you fell back on the bed, both of you laughing.  You had never before been able to describe Steve as giddy, but that was definitely the right word. 

 

“I thought it might be something you and Bucky and maybe Clint and Tony would enjoy going to together? A guys night!” Your raised eyebrows and hopeful tone of voice did everything to convey your train of thought.  

 

“No! You and the girls AND Bucky have got to come!”  If he loved four tickets to the vintage car and motorcycle show this much, you could not wait to see his face when he opened his present from Bucky and the girls.

 

It took Steve forever to fall asleep because he immediately looked up the car and bike show’s website and started telling you about every single item they showcased.  You fell asleep while the happiest centenarian in history took screenshots of different motorcycles he wanted to test drive.  

 

You woke up to much the same scene.  You stretched and, as you marveled at how late you slept, noticed Steve wasn’t in bed.  You heard him in the other room making breakfast and listening to music on your phone.  You couldn’t help but smile as you walked into the kitchen.

 

“Good morning, birthday boy - are you making breakfast on your special day?”

 

“Yes.  I bought red, white, and blue bagels at The Bagel Store, cream cheese, and even made eggs that I guarantee are better-than-edible.”  You were quiet as you subtly inspected the kitchen.

 

“You can stop looking, I got coffee, too.” You immediately perked up and smiled. 

 

“This is wonderful, love.  I’m sorry I didn’t get up early enough to do it for you.”

 

Even in the morning, this man was beautiful.  He stepped to you and wrapped his muscled arms around your waist, lifting you off the ground to bring your mouth to his.  “If I would have known tickets to a vintage car and bike show would have produced such euphoria, I would’ve bought them much sooner.”

 

“It’s not the tickets, though I do love them, and, before you ask, it’s not my birthday, or the pictures, though I love them, too.  It’s you.  It’s being able to wake up and kiss you, even when you were asleep. It’s being able to see you with your just-woke-up sleepy face and pajamas and wrap my arms around you and kiss your neck and hear you laugh when it tickles.”

 

How you managed to stay standing when your knees were so weak was beyond you.  

“How would you feel about coming back to bed with me?  A little pre-party present?”

 

It didn’t take much convincing him to keep breakfast warm and join you for what was the most fun you’d ever had in bed.  To see him this elated was a treat in and of itself, but to see his smile after you both finished was picture perfect.  Soon after, his phone started buzzing with text alerts.  At first, you were scared that it meant a mission, but then he started reading them out loud to you - birthday wishes from people all over the world.  You could tell he was touched and proud when he received one from the girls.

 

**Lizzy:** Happy Birthday Steve!  I hope me and Gabbi are the first ones to wish you a great day.  We can’t wait to give you our present this afternoon at the party.  See you soon!

**Steve:** Thanks kiddos - you are the first ones to tell me to have a great day.  See you this afternoon.

 

**Bucky:** Morning punk.  Happy birthday, you old man.

**Steve:** Thanks jerk, your turn is next!

 

**Bucky:** Hey, doll. You got it?

**Steph:** Yes, I got it.  I am SO excited.  I cannot wait to see his face!

**Bucky:** Me too.  See you later.

**Steph:** :)

 

So many messages came that he couldn’t respond to them all.  Eventually, he took a shower and got dressed, as did you.  He looked over at the red dress from last night, slung over the back of a chair in your bedroom, and ran his fingers over the fabric.  “This was my favorite gift.  You looked like you could have walked into any dance hall and had all the guys eating out of your hand and I just kept thinking how lucky it is that it’s me. I meant it when I said I want to show you off next time you wear that.”  You wanted to take him to bed, again, but knew the clock was ticking and Maria, Jen, and Ally were probably foaming at the mouth, wondering where you were.

 

**Steph:** Sorry, Steve and I are running a little late.  Need anything on our way over?

**Maria:** No don’t think so, just need you guys!.  The girls, their friends, John, and his fiancee are here.  She seems very nice.  Would you be mad if we were nice to her?

**Steph:** LOL.  I would be VERY mad if you were NOT nice to her.  She’s a wonderful person. The girls like her a lot.  Thanks for letting them come, the girls really wanted to show them how hard they worked on kiddie camp.

**Maria:** Of course.  They really knocked it out of the park - it looks amazing.  I think I might want them to take care of me today, in case Ally’s plans for “fun” don’t catch on. :)

**Steph:**  She’d kick your ass if she heard you say that.  Good thing i’m so sex-drunk that I’ll forget.  Maybe.

**Maria:**  NOW who’s the filthy bitch?

**Steph:** ME ME ME ME!!!!! ROTFL

**Maria:**  Please promise me you’re going to give us the inside scoop later.

**Steph:** Pinky swear.  Once the party calms down later and it’s just us, yes, I’ll spill.  Might even send the girls home with Steve, because the stories are definitely NOT PG-13.  He would die from embarrassment.    

**Maria:**  CAN. NOT. WAIT.  

**Steph:** ((((( <3)))))

 

When you walked into the party, Steve’s hand on your waist, your daughters ran over to pull you towards “their kid camp.” Steve tried to stay put, but they weren’t having any of that.  Both of you fawned, exclaimed, and otherwise praised them for all their hard work.  The 8 little kids were having a blast with shaving cream and finger paint and balloons.  You planned to stay far away from that fun zone.  You excused yourself and went to find your fellow co-planners and spotted Maria first.  Maria and Jen’s husbands were there and they offered Steve a beer and a man-friendly zone to hang out in. To say he looked relieved was an understatement. 

 

“Well, well, well, look who decided to show up?  It’s the sex-drunk slut we all know and love.”

 

You had to laugh because you knew that was going to be your new nickname for awhile.  The looks on Jen and Ally’s faces quickly turned from priceless to pissed off when they realized they did not know what Maria was talking about.  They were not going to be quiet.

 

“Spill.  Now.  Under penalty of being hit with a shaving-cream covered balloon.”

 

“I promise that I will tell you guys everything, but for now I’ll just say that oh my goodness I’m sore.  Like, feels-like-I-just-had-a-child sore.” You couldn’t resist making a suggestive face to go along with that sentence.

 

None of the three could contain their lewd comments, their  _ loud _ lewd comments.  Steve’s head turned and when he saw all of you laughing and throwing glances his way, a flush of red started creeping up his neck.  My God, he was adorable.

 

The party was so much fun.  The food was great, the number of people was perfect - just big enough for mingling but not so big that it was overwhelming, and Ally’s “fun” really was just that.  You swam, hung out with Steve and Bucky while your second families got to know them, played games with kids under your daughters’ strict supervision, ate way too much guacamole, and talked to your heart’s content.  You even had some time to chat with John and Sue.  You wanted to get to know her better - she was going to be a big part of your children’s lives - and you wanted her to know that you were glad that John had found her.  When Steve walked over and held your hand while he introduced himself, it made your heart swell.  Before they headed home, the four of you talked, mostly about the girls, and promised to make plans to get together very soon.  

 

As the night got darker, you noticed a group of people moving inside.  Apparently, there was some kind of sporting event on.  You encouraged Bucky and Steve to join them.  You didn’t need to suggest it twice.  On his way in, you pulled Bucky aside to see if he was enjoying himself; he looked at you like a big brother and kissed you on your cheek.

 

“What was that for?”

 

“For looking out for me.  For making sure I’m ok, and for inviting me today.  I’m having fun.”

 

“I’m so glad.  Thanks for coming, Buck.”

“Thank  _ you _ , doll.”

 

After kid camp closed up for the night, your girls and their crew were happy, but exhausted.  You paid them all, which perked them up a bit, and asked your daughters if they were ready to give Steve his present before they left.

 

You gave Bucky the high sign and he whispered to Steve to follow him.  You and the girls met them out by the pool, which was deserted at this time of night.  Steve breathed a sigh of relief when he saw it was just the five of you, and took an offered chair.  The girls started their prepared little speech.

 

“Steve, we know this is your 100th birthday, so we wanted to get you something special to show you how we feel, but we realized we all feel a little bit differently.  So, we decided to each get you something that has a special meaning for us, to you.”  

 

It was your turn to talk now.  “We know this box looks small, but as you know, it isn’t the size of something that determines its worth.”  

 

The girls opened the box and gave him the first wrapped gift.  He laughed as he opened a bag of red, white, and blue M&M’s.  “These M&M’s represent how sweet you are, how generous you are, and how much of a sweet tooth you have.”

 

Bucky gave him the next present.  Steve swallowed hard when he unwrapped a pocket watch containing a picture of his mother Sarah.  “Happy birthday Stevie.  Your Ma was a good woman who raised a great man.”

 

“She was, Buck. Thanks.”

 

It was your turn next.  “This gift is what I think of when I think of you.  A man who protects others, who loves unconditionally, and who would do whatever it takes to defend what he believes in.”  He opened the box, and took out the dog tag inside, inscribed with “I carry your heart,” and a small heart shape cut out of it.  You took the tag from him and put it with the others always around his neck, then took the chain from which the small heart cutout hung and put it around yours.  It finished what his tag started and made the sentence “I carry your heart…with me.”  He kissed you warmly.

 

The girls were batting clean up.  “We all have one more thing to give you.  I think you know by now that we love how happy you make our Mom, and how much we like hanging out with you, and we know how much you love listening to music, but yours isn’t exactly portable.  Now it is.”

When he saw that we had had all his records digitized, with the scratches and pops and hisses included, and that they now fit in the palm of his hand, he was speechless.

 

“Thank you.  Thank you all.  I love each and every one of these gifts, but they wouldn’t mean a thing if they hadn’t come from all of you.”  You all stood up and hugged him, even Bucky, though his was more of a punch, but it was the thought that counts.

 

“Come on, let’s go eat some birthday cake and watch fireworks to celebrate this guy.”  You all started to walk towards the party, but Steve grabbed your wrist.  “Steph, wait a minute.”  You turned towards him. He wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, kissing you and whispering in your ear, “I've never been happier. Thank you.”

 

“Neither have I, my love.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	12. The Big Bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summer vacation was wonderful - time with your children, time with your boyfriend, time with your friends and family. You cherished every moment, so when your children went on their annual trip with their Dad and Steve and Bucky were called out on a mission, you took the opportunity to spoil yourself rotten. It was glorious. You should have known it was too good to last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost, another huge thanks to @MsEnglish101 for being such an amazing editor - you have made this story so much better! We all know a good story has some conflict, or it’s just a children’s book - with every good, there must be some bad, or something like that. I hope you enjoy. I always love reading your feedback, so please keep it coming. Thank you!

The summer life was the life for you.  Your daughters were happy with some time at camp, opportunities to make money (their kids camp success at the 4th of July party had made the rounds of all the people there, as well as friends of those there and the business was booming  on the local house party circuit), and time to just lounge and chill.  You had all decided to take a long weekend trip to a nearby camping ground, which specialized in “glamping” - basically a decent hotel in the woods.  Though you all loved nature, you loved indoor plumbing even more.  Steve was invited, but to your surprise, they also wanted Bucky to come. They asked him when he was over for the now-routine Friday family dinner, and his fork stopped midway to his mouth.  

 

“Me?  Really?”

 

“Yeah!  You’ve been so nice to us, helping us and Mom with things, and helping with kid camp when we need an adult, we want you to come.”  The sight of Bucky being crawled over by 10 kids under the age of 8 was memorialized in a photo that you made your screen saver for a few weeks.

 

He looked at you and Steve, raising his eyebrows to ask if it was alright.  It was definitely alright.  

“Yes Bucky, please come - that way I can proudly say that you’ve been glamping.  Using those two words together in the same sentence is worth the trip.  The only catch is that you two are in charge of all things nature - fire-building, wood collecting, animal deflection, oh and bag carrying.”

 

“Yes, ma’am.  No problem.  Thank you.”

 

The weekend was as fun as you’d hoped, and was followed by more excitement upon your return when your parents arrived at your house for their annual summer visit.  The girls were in an absolute state of hysteria waiting for them to drive up.  You hadn’t seen your parents since Christmas, and though they had heard about Steve from the girls and from you, they hadn’t met the man himself.  You weren’t nervous - if they survived the shock of your divorce, meeting Steve would be a walk in the park.

 

Steve was extra charming (if that was possible) and your mother and father beamed.  He showed them the sights, telling them all about Brooklyn in his long-ago youth.  They couldn’t believe that this man was older than them by quite a few years, but with the right evidence, they finally understood who Steve was and what he did for a living.  Your parents’ only concern was that the danger he lived with might impact you and the girls.  You assured them it hadn’t thus far, and you wouldn’t imagine it ever would - you two weren’t in the public eye and the only people you confided in were your closest friends and family, and none of them were talking.  The week ended with plans to visit them at their home and Steve being introduced to the rest of your family.  You smiled (and maybe cringed a bit) when you thought of that but the next event cometh, the girls’ annual 3-week trip with John (and now, Sue) to visit his family in California.  You always used that time to do fun, “single lady” stuff, but also things like paint and home repairs.  Though it wasn’t all fun and games, having Steve and Bucky’s help was going to make it go a lot faster.  Unfortunately, life intervened.

 

When you woke up next to Steve talking on the phone in his Captain America voice, you knew what was coming.  This time, he couldn’t tell you where or what, just that Bucky was coming and they’d both be keeping tabs on you.  

 

“I don’t like you being here all by yourself.”

 

“Are you kidding? I LOVE being here all by myself! I can eat cheese and crackers for every meal, play the music I want and sing along without being censored, and I can even wear yoga pants the entire day and not go out if I don’t want to.  What’s not to like?”

 

He laughed, “Ok, but I still wish either Buck or I could be around, just in case you need us.”

 

“You are the most thoughtful man in the world.  Well, to be honest, you and Bucky could share that title, but don’t tell him that.  My love, you forget that I did this gig alone for quite a while before you two Super Soldiers came along.  I’ll be fine, I promise.”  You kissed him with enough fervor that he forgot about packing for a little while and let you give him a goodbye present.  After he left, you went straight for your phone to gloat.

 

**Steph:**  GUYS!  GUYS!!  GUYS!!!  

**Maria:** What?

**Jen:** WTF?

**Ally:** WHAT!!!

**Steph:** The girls are with John and Sue in Cali, Steve just left on a mission - so guess who is ALONE IN HER APARTMENT EATING ICE CREAM FOR DINNER AND WATCHING ROM-COMS WITHOUT INTERRUPTION!!!!

**Ally:** YOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU :)))))))

**Jen:**  WOOOO HOOOOO.  I hate you, but WOOOOO HOOOOO

**Maria:**  I just hate her.  NO woo-hoos from me.:(((((

**Maria:**  So Ms. “I’m all alone and you’re not, ha ha”, what are you going to do with your time?

**Steph:** I thought I would stay in my yoga pants, sing at the top of my lungs to 90’s R &B, and make and eat ALL.THE. CUPCAKES.  

**Jen:** Yup, I’m jumping on the “I hate Stephanie” band wagon.

**Ally:** Well, I can’t say I’m on the bandwagon…..but I KNOW I KNOW, that’s because I don’t have kids, blah blah blah.  DO NOT SAY IT.

**Maria:**  Ok, I won’t say it, I’ll just say, SHUT UP ALLY.

**Steph:** LOL.  I love you guys.

**Jen:**  When does everyone get back?  How much time will you be a single and carefree woman?

**Steph:** Well, with Steve you never know, could be tomorrow, could be 3 months from now, which totally sucks.  The girls just left a few days ago and plan to be back by the end of the month.  So I’m not sure, but I’m going to make the most of every minute.

**Maria:**  When are we all seeing each other, then?

**Ally:** yeah, girls night is a must (and FUCK YOU MARIA)

**Jen:** GIRLS NIGHT, GIRLS NIGHT, GIRLS NIGHT

**Steph:**  What would you think if I had til the end of the weekend to live the sloth life, and then we made plans for next week?  Would you hate me for that?

**Maria:** Yes, but since we love you, no.

**Jen:** Ditto ^^^^^^^

**Ally:**  That works for me.

**Steph:** Love you guys, so so much.  I’ll catch up with you in a few days, then?

**Maria:**  Yup.

**Ally:** Affirmative (like that one?)

**Jen:** Sure (and no Ally, no one likes that).

**Steph:** ROTFL :)))))

 

After a few days, you were surprised when the novelty wore off and you missed your crew.  All of them.  You texted the girls, and on the off chance that he would read it, sent a mildly racy one to Steve.  The girls sent back some selfies of them on the beach, and videos of the ocean (or, “the other ocean,” as we all called it) that they knew you’d love.  You wandered out for the first time in a few days to get your nails done, grab a coffee and bagel and hang out at the park with a book.  You missed your loves, but this was bliss.

 

Having returned from an unexpectedly short mission, Steve finally saw your text and smiled as he replied in a similarly racy way.  Bucky and Sam were hanging around, waiting for the debriefing to start.

 

“If we finish the meeting early enough, I’m gonna drive down and surprise her tonight.”

 

“Well, give her a hug for me long after you do whatever it is you two do.”  

 

Sam laughed and chimed in,  “Hey Steve, when are you going to convince that woman to marry your sorry behind?”

 

Spit take.  Times ten.  Bucky couldn’t control his laughter.  “Yeah, punk, when?”

 

“I can’t say I haven’t thought about it, but she’s not ready.” 

 

Sam put on his counselor face.  “Really?  A woman who you say you love? You’re going to let a little ‘she’s not ready’ stop the whole thing?  What’s the problem?”

 

“Nothing.  I love her, she knows that. She loves me, I know that.  I just think she’s gun shy after her first marriage didn’t work out.”

 

“Punk, that was years ago.  I’m telling you, she’s over that.  She needs  _ you _ to convince her that it’s time to take the next step.  Sounds like you’re scared.  Hmmmm……”

 

“You guys need to knock it off.  Seriously.  Steph and I will figure this out when we’re good and ready.”

 

The other two men smiled suggestively and walked away.

 

Thankfully, a short mission meant a relatively short debriefing.  Steve finished up his paperwork and texted you again.  You hadn’t responded to the last one and after 15 minutes or so, this one either, so he called you.  Still no answer.  He told Bucky he couldn’t get in touch with you.  Something was making him uneasy, and since the world’s best technology was at his disposal, he asked Tony if he could figure out your location based on your phone’s GPS.  The phone was in your apartment.  You just weren’t answering it.

 

“Steve, she’s probably in the shower or fell asleep with the phone in the other room.   Relax.”

 

“I don’t know, Buck.  That woman doesn’t go anywhere without that phone. I’m gonna drive down.”

 

“If you wait a minute, I’ll drive.” 

 

Steve spent the entire drive trying to text and call you to no avail, his unease escalating.  They saw the flashing lights when they were within a block of your building. When they pulled in front, it was impossible to miss the squad cars.  With one mind, both men looked at each other and ran for the front door.  

 

After the policemen let them through, they saw the unconscious doorman being wheeled away on a stretcher.  Neither man waited for the elevator, running up the stairs at breakneck speed until they reached your floor, where police officers were standing guard in front of your open apartment door.

 

“Where is she?  Is Stephanie here?  Is she ok?”  Both men knew they could easily get past the guards, but there was no need as the detectives-in-charge waved them in.  

 

“No, she is not here.  Captain Rogers, we received a 9-1-1 call from this location approximately two hours ago reporting a home invasion.  The call was terminated at this end and a squad car was dispatched.  The officers on scene found the apartment in this state and called us in.”

 

The apartment had been ransacked.  There were papers everywhere, drawers opened, clothes on the floor, the table upended.  He was told his apartment looked the same.  He sat down, put his head in his hands, and told the police what he knew - you were alone because your children were on a trip with their father, and he had been away on a mission.  They wanted to know when the two of you had communicated last, whether you were emotionally stable or if you were prone to taking off unexpectedly, did the apartment usually look as it currently did, and on and on.

 

“Were you aware of anyone in her life that may have wanted to hurt her?”

 

“No, absolutely not.  No one who knew her would ever want to hurt her.”

 

“Were you two in a relationship?”

 

“Yes for almost a year now.  Why?”

 

“Right now we’re just collecting information, Captain.  We’re trying to figure out why this may have happened and how to get her back as soon as we can.”

 

The police did their jobs and took pictures, samples, and whatever else was needed from the apartment.  Steve called Tony and filled him in, and he suggested immediately moving the base of operations to Stark Tower, for which Steve was grateful.  On his way there, Steve spoke aloud the thought that had been with him since the compound.

 

“Buck, what if someone took her or even hurt her because of me?” 

 

Bucky sighed.  He knew that’s what the police were suggesting, and that your connection to Steve was a plausible reason for your abduction.  He couldn’t bring himself to lie, so he avoided answering.  “It’s alright Steve, we’re going to find her.  Soon.”

 

“I need to call the girls and John, and her parents.”

 

“I’ll be right there with you.”

 

Making those phone calls was one of the hardest things Steve had ever done.  The girls were understandably hysterical, and asked their father to make plans for them to come home.  Steve knew that staying where they were was the safest course of action for the moment, and after he explained that and told them they could reach him at any time, they agreed to stay where they were.  John offered to call your parents, but Steve wanted them to hear directly from him.  

 

They were equally upset and offered all their resources to help in any way possible.  Steve knew that the same advice applied to them - that keeping themselves safe was the priority and coming to Brooklyn would compromise that.  He promised regular updates and asked them to be in touch with him if they were contacted by anyone they did not know or promised anything related to your release.

 

Lastly, he called Maria.  She was surprisingly stoic and succinct, and spoke in a measured, threatening tone of voice he had never suspected she possessed.  “You WILL find her and bring her home, Steve.  There is no other alternative.  Promise me.”  

 

“I promise you, on my life, that I will find her and bring her home, safe and sound.”

 

When the team arrived at Stark Tower, Steve didn’t want to talk, he wanted to work.  The sooner they figured out what was going on, the sooner he would have you back.  He was having a hard time focusing but knew that the others would more than make up for his distraction.  The police were given permission to hand over forensic analysis to Stark Labs, so your phone was the first thing Tony analyzed.  In a matter of minutes he had the case off and the contents of the hard drive displayed.  He confirmed what the police said about the last texts you sent and that after the 9-1-1 call was terminated, the police tried calling your phone immediately.  That’s when they must have sent the squad cars, which coincided with the time your hard drive registered a catastrophic event, most likely being thrown against a wall.    

 

The police had also shared the recording of the 9-1-1 call.  Tony approached the subject with uncharacteristic sensitivity.

 

“Steve, you don’t have to hear this.  Let us listen to it.”

 

“No, Tony.  Play it. I need to hear it.”

 

Steve’s face blanched when he heard you whisper to the operator that someone was in your apartment, and they had guns.  A second later you screamed and the call was cut off, which was a moment before the phone was broken.  The entire team jumped when Bucky punched a hole through the table his metal fist was laying on.  

 

Nat laid a hand on Steve’s shoulder, “Steve, we know some things.  We know she could talk and we know they left her alone long enough for her to make a call, so clearly hurting her wasn’t their main objective.  We’re going to find out the rest as soon as we can.  Help me look at the crime scene pictures - there has to be something there.”  Steve knew she was trying to keep him engaged so he wouldn’t unravel and frustrate the process.  “Thanks, Nat.  Tell me what you need me to do.”

 

After one of the longest nights of Steve’s life, Tony alerted the team that they had received a ransom request.  The video began with footage of you and Steve walking near your apartment, laughing and holding hands.  Steve walked toward the image and reached out to touch it, recoiling when it changed to you sitting in a chair, your wrists and ankles bound, mouth gagged, and head down.  You were shivering, and he could see bruises and scrapes on your exposed skin.  One of your captors directly addressed the camera, and Steve.

 

“Captain America, we know this is your woman.  We know what she means to you.  We know you do not want her harmed.  As of now, she is not badly hurt, but that will change if you do not meet our demands. You will hear from us in 48 hours.”  He went on to threaten and brag, but Steve was no longer listening.  His heart was trying to jump out of his chest and his body was humming with adrenaline.  He didn’t realize Tony was talking.

 

“Cap.”

 

“Steve.” 

 

“Look, we know she is alive - the time stamp was an hour ago.  Give me a few hours to analyze the footage and we will be a lot closer to finding her.  I promise.”

 

Everyone encouraged Steve to get some rest, knowing full well he would not.  He slipped out of the room, knowing that right now the best thing he could do was leave the others to their work.  Bucky found him a few hours later, staring out at the city from the Tower’s observation deck.  His eyes were trained on Brooklyn, but his thoughts were on you.  

 

“Buck, this woman….she’s magic.  I think I’ve known that all along and I think, deep down, I’ve loved her from the beginning.  It took me a long time to believe that someone as beautiful and caring as she is could be my girl.  That someone who never hesitated to share her life with me, with  _ me _ \- Steve -  _ not _ Captain America, could be mine.  Even after she knew who I was, she didn’t run, she waited.  I knew then that she was it, she was my one.”  His heart hurt remembering when you said the same thing to him.

 

“I know, Stevie.  We will find her and bring her back to us, to the girls.  I know how special she is. She wrapped me into her family when she didn’t have to; she showed she cared without a reason.  I’ll do whatever it takes to get her back.  I would die for her, same as I would for you.”

 

When they returned to the conference room they’d been using as their base, Tony and Nat were waiting for them.  They looked at a mug shot of the kidnapper from the video. “Turns out this guy is quite the HYDRA celebrity, a well known mercenary-for-hire.  Interpol has been tracking him for over a year but each time they get close, he disappears.  They suspect he’s heavily funded by someone much higher up the food chain.” He laid out the particulars of the man, and continued to talk about what was inadvertently transmitted with the video.

 

“We found some very helpful information.  We were working off the assumption that they were relatively close, because we started monitoring flights out of all local airports as soon as we knew Steph was gone.  They had her for less than 12 hours when this video was made and in order to transmit it there needed to be computer access, with relatively well-developed upload speeds. This points to a greater likelihood they stayed on land, rather than getting on the water.  My bet is they went north, possibly into Canada.  I would suggest starting the facial recognition search there.”   

 

Nat had questions. “Look at these pictures of your apartment and hers - it’s obvious this wasn’t a random abduction. In both places, they emptied every drawer, including the ones that held junk and clothing.  Why would they do that, what were they looking for? What did you have that they wanted, that warranted kidnapping a civilian?”

 

Steve and Bucky looked at each other across the table, but didn’t say a word.  Nat was getting impatient, “What?  What is it?”  

 

“They think I have Erskine’s formula.”   
  


“What?!? Why would they think that?!”

 

She was met with silence.

 

“Steve?”

 

It didn’t take long to explain what happened the day Steve became Captain America.  “After Erskine was shot, he knew he was dying, and that I was the only thing that remained of his work.  He ripped a button off his lab coat and dropped it into my hand.  Peggy saw what Erskine did and took the button after I dropped it and ran after the Hydra agent that was responsible.”

 

“What??!?!  A button?  Come on! How could that be related to the formula?”

  
“What was on it?  Did my father test it?”

 

“Where is it now? Do you still have it?”

 

“Who else knows about it?”

 

The questions kept coming, and Steve explained what he could. 

 

“So much happened so fast that I didn’t think of it again until Peggy and Howard presented a brief on what it contained.  After they analyzed it they found a portion of the formula, a key element that was critical to the serum. Howard tried recreating it, but was unsuccessful. A decision was made to use me to preserve the information.”  

 

“How? They didn't do the super hi-tech swallow-the-button maneuver,did they?”

 

“No, Tony, it was a bit more advanced. The button contained a tiny piece of non-biodegradable material on which the information was encoded. They encased it in a biocompatible titanium alloy and implanted it in my left upper arm.   My skin was then scarred to look like it was a vaccine injection site.” 

 

“What the hell? Why is it still in there? FRIDAY, page Dr. Cho.”

 

“Frankly, it was low on my priority list after 70 years in ice. I hadn't thought about it since - I'm sure it's no longer viable.”

 

After arguing that he would not submit to the removal or recovery of whatever might be left in his arm until you were back safely, the team spent the next few hours narrowing down potential locations where you were being held.  

 

Environmental noise on the video indicated distinctive church bells, and occasional road traffic that was muted, possibly by trees or other houses.  After comparing the results to known Hydra cells within a 8-12 hour radius of Brooklyn, the team identified their first target, a suburban area on the outskirts of Quebec.    
  


It took less than an hour for the team to be ready and loaded on the jet.  Steve forced himself to be as detached as possible.  He had to be a soldier now, because he knew the stakes were too high to let his feelings cloud his judgment.  Bucky was stoic - talking only to Steve, and then in monosyllabic words.  His eyes held real worry and his face betrayed his fear for you.  It did not matter that these men had faced demons from every corner of the universe, this was you.  Though they each loved you in different ways, they both felt that there was no stopping, no sleeping, no living, until they had you back.

 

Steph’s POV

 

This shit was getting old.  It was hard for you to keep the days straight - you were in a dark room, chained to the bed that only allowed you enough room to get to the windowless bathroom and walk the same few steps back to your chair or pile of scratchy blankets.  You knew it had to have been at least 3 days since it happened.  

 

You had been out all day; you’d decided against cooking and ordered Tony’s instead, while planning your Netflix marathon.  You were in your sweats with one of Steve’s hoodies on, just puttering around and texting Maria, Jen, and Ally when you heard the delivery man.  You grabbed your wallet and as you opened the door you were knocked backwards.  Two large men entered your apartment and for the first time in your life, you saw a real gun, up close.  One of the men grabbed you by the hair, pulled you up, and started screaming in your face, “Where is he?  Tell us now!  Where is Captain America?”  You were so stunned you couldn’t compute what they were asking you, which earned you a smack across the face that sent your glasses flying.  

 

Losing your ability to see anything more than blurry shapes, you dropped to the ground to pick them up and were kicked in the side for your efforts.  All you could say was, “I don’t know what you’re talking about” over and over again.  They kept repeating that they knew Captain America lived there and that if you didn’t tell them where he was, they would make you very sorry.  They checked the bathroom, found it virtually impossible to get out of or call for help from, and locked you in.  They did not search you very well, because they missed your phone, which you had stuck in your waistband when you thought the pizza guy was at the door.  You dialed 9-1-1 and started whispering for someone to help you, that there were men with guns in your apartment, and that….then the intruders were there, breaking the door and throwing your phone across the room.  Your heart sank when you heard the screen crack.  

 

“Son-of-a-bitch.  She had her phone.  She called 9-1-1.  We’ve got to get out of here, the police are on their way.”  What frightened you more than anything was to hear how calm their voices were - violence and crime were not new to them.  They threw some shoes at you, and as you walked through your apartment with them each holding an arm, you saw the chaos they caused.  You immediately remembered the self-defense training you’d taken as a newly-single woman.  You knew the worst thing you could do was be taken to a second location, so you went limp and fell to the ground.  You were heavy, so getting you up took precious minutes that they knew they didn’t have.  The bigger one grabbed your hair and as you screamed at the top of your lungs for help, dragged you to the stairwell.

 

You were doing everything you could not to fall head first and crack your skull open.  You needed to keep your wits, and bleeding out would not help the situation.  When they opened the heavy fire door to the parking garage your heart sunk - it was dark and empty.  There was no one else there, no one could hear you scream.  As they tried pushing you into a car, you kicked, punched and scratched.  The last thing you remembered was the sound of sirens before getting the worst hit to the head you’ve ever had and losing consciousness.  

 

When you woke up you were in a moving car with a terrible headache.  You were disoriented, but remembered what happened.  Soon, the panic started rising, those tentacles that were feeding your brain with thoughts of uncertainty, your children, and of the people you loved and who loved you.  For the thousandth time, you thanked God that your children were far away and safe.  You wished for Steve, for anyone you loved to help you.  Then you mentally slapped yourself - enough of the bullshit, you had to help yourself.  

 

As logical and cool as it seemed in the movies, you found it impossible to pay close enough attention to your surroundings to help yourself figure where you were or where you were going.  You seemed to be in some kind of livery vehicle, like a limo, but smaller, with heavily-tinted windows.  You tried listening to the road noise, to figure out if you were near water, to count the seconds between the turns the driver made.  You just ended up flooding your brain with data it had no idea how to use.

 

You tried to breathe deeply.  You were alone in the back seat, the two men in the front, speaking in a language you did not understand but that sounded Greek.  They didn’t seem at all interested in you, not even bothering to turn their heads back to see you when you moved around.  You tried to think of at least one thing you knew for sure, if for no other reason than to keep your brain busy and keep the panic at bay.  You knew you were in a car and you were moving.  You knew it was nighttime - even though the windows were tinted, there was no light seeping in through the crevices of the car, so you hadn’t been unconscious that long.  You definitely heard water and boats, but nothing more that could give you any information that could help you escape.  

 

Even if you did know something useful, you’d have no way to tell anyone.  For a minute you thought about grabbing the door and trying to get out, but the car was moving very fast and frankly, with your lack of gracefulness and speed, you knew you would get hit by another car before getting to safety.  Luckily though, you had to pee.  You used your most passive and subservient voice to bring yourself to their attention and asked if you could stop at a bathroom.

  
At first they told you to hold it, but you weren’t having that. “Look, guys, I’m 43 years old.  My bladder isn’t young anymore and unless you want the car to stink to high heaven, I’d find somewhere to stop.  Now.”  That convinced them.  Before you got out, they made you pull up your hoodie to hide your bruises and frisked you from head to toe.  One of them put his arm around you so tightly it hurt, and whispered in your ear that if you even thought about running or yelling you’d be dead before the words left your mouth.  The gun he stuck in your side was enough incentive for you to listen.  He even came with you into the bathroom, which for some stupid reason, upset you more than the other indignities you’d suffered already.  “If we’re here, can we get some food?  I’m starving.”  They threw some snack food and gas station sandwiches on the register and paid, the gun in your ribs a constant reminder of your need to stay silent.  The hoodie covered your bruises completely and the attendant didn’t even look at you.  Fuck.

 

After getting back on the road and eating a bit, you looked out the window as best you could.  Neither man talked to you, and you soon fell asleep again.  When you woke up, you were being pushed and yelled at.  Your legs were asleep and as you were made to get out of the car, you fell.  Son of a mother fucker, that hurt.  You got up and dragged your feet as they pushed you into a small house that looked like it was lived in and well maintained.  There were other houses visible, but they were at least 500 feet away across what looked like a relatively quiet but suburban street.  You saw a car or two drive by and prayed to as many deities as possible that someone would look your way.  No one did.  When they pushed you again, you snapped.  “I’m GOING!!!!!  What the FUCK do you want with me ANYWAY?!?!?!”  Maybe that wasn’t the best idea, since it resulted in a closed-fist punch to the stomach, but it was cathartic nonetheless.  Small victories.

 

When you got in the house they bound your hands at the wrist and tied you to a chain that was secured to an old radiator - the kind you had grown up with that was apparently made from 1200 pounds of iron and that you could not budge.  You fantasized about Steve and Bucky swooping in and throwing it through the window, but that only succeeded in making you cry.  Then a truly terrifying thought occurred to you - you didn’t know if anyone even realized you were gone.  The girls were away with John, Steve and Bucky were on a mission, and Maria, Jen, and Ally said they were letting you enjoy your time alone until later in the week.  There was no reason you’d talk to your parents or siblings, considering they had just visited, and it was summer vacation so work peeps were doing their own things.  Yup, you were well and truly fucked.  One “good” thing is that your kidnappers didn’t seem to give a shit about you.  They talked to each other, played cards, looked at their phones, and ate.  They stayed away and didn’t hurt you unless you resisted in some way.  You knew they wanted Steve, but for what? Did they need you for something other than blackmail? Not speaking their language was just another frustration that made it impossible to tell what they were after.

 

They graciously allowed the chain to be long enough so you could use the bathroom, with the door open, without having to ask.  You had a chair to sit on, and apparently that was your current living space.  Soon after you arrived, you were yanked into what passed as the living room, and shoved down hard onto the chair.  They tied your ankles together and took off Steve’s hoodie, which sent a freezing chill right through you.  One of them held up their phone and the other started talking next to you, to the camera.  They spoke English and you heard them say Captain America, Avengers, and they would kill you if they didn’t get whatever they wanted in however long they wanted it.  The light from the camera flash was blinding you, so you hung your head down and shivered.  

 

After the little show, your ankles were untied and you were allowed to move off the chair.  You tried looking around, but the blackout curtains on all the windows prevented you from learning much.  You used the bathroom then tried to lay down on the floor with the blanket they had left there, but it wasn’t much use.  You prayed.  You thanked God for the life you’d been given, for the people in it, for your children, for your friends, for your parents and siblings, and for Steve.  You used your old panic attack trick of trying to put all your favorite songs in alphabetical order, which occupied your brain for awhile.  You were scared and felt deeply sorrowful when you thought of your girls, of Steve, of your parents and siblings. Eventually, the men gave you back the hoodie, threw some chips and beef jerky at you with a bottle of water, and let you be.  

 

The next day or two was comprised of fitful sleep full of nightmares, followed by trying to get your screaming knees to move in order to combat the soreness of sleeping on the floor.  You walked 7 steps to the bathroom over and over again, and abdicated all personal dignity as you took care of your personal hygiene needs.  

 

You desperately needed a shower, but you were not about to do so with unrestricted viewing by the two men, so you didn’t bring it up.  You were in serious caffeine withdrawal and your head and stomach were letting you know it, but thankfully breakfast was usually some kind of granola bar, which helped settle you.  The days were a monotonous blur, while you tried to fill your head with lists and books and songs - anything to keep your mind engaged in something other than the present situation.  On the 3rd day, it was time for another show.  This time they took off your hoodie, ripped your shirt, and slapped you around to freshen up the bruises that had started to fade.  They bound your wrists and ankles again, savagely punching you when you tried kicking and scratching, and turned on the camera.  The mouth gag was returned, too.  Fun times here at Shangri-La.  

 

Again, they spoke English and again, they spoke directly to Steve.  This time there were no vague threats.  “Hand over Dr. Erskine’s formula, Captain Rogers, or we will end the woman you love.  We will be in touch within the hour to arrange the exchange.”

 

This time you lifted your head and screamed against the gag, warranting them to pull your hair back and put a knife to your throat, which prompted a real scream and sobs.  You started mumbling, but that only made them push the knife further, drawing a small amount of blood.  That was it, you fainted.  When you woke up, the show was over.  You were tied to the chair, bound and gagged, and felt like you were going to throw up.  You knew that would not be advisable with a gag in your mouth, so you started making gagging noises and rocking your chair back and forth.  They barked at you to shut up, then saw your eyes pleading as you made motions of throwing up.  One of them came over and untied you, eyeing you with disgust, yelling at you to “Go!” and pointing to the bathroom.  

 

You felt like a dog that had been repeatedly kicked.  After your stomach was empty, you walked a bit, then laid down.  The nightmare came - the one with you running and being chased, unable to stop, unable to hide, unable to find help.  You woke up as you always did, panting and sweating, but this time Steve wasn’t there to calm you.  Instead of losing it, you took a minute to breathe and look around.  You realized that it must be the middle of the night, as both men slept on the floor and were snoring soundly.  You couldn’t think of anything you could do to help yourself, and that made you sob silently into Steve’s hoodie, the only thing that brought you warmth or made you feel any better.  

 

When Tony played the newest message from the kidnappers that confirmed what he had suspected, Steve knew what he had to do.  “Tony, ask Dr. Cho to meet us when we land.  This is going to end once and for all.”

 


	13. The Big Bad, Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You knew that this was the last day. It was either going to be the last day of your abduction, or the last day of your life. You knew Steve would save you, but you also knew life didn’t always work out the way you wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wrote this chapter faster than any other in this series, it felt like it just flowed. I hope it’s not just my bias, and that you, the reader, actually enjoy it! Thanks, as always, to @MsEnglish101 for reading, finding the plot holes, suggesting fixes, and making my writing a lot better.

Sleep was useless.  The floor was cold, the blankets were scratchy and you were alone.  You saw the sun start to rise through the small sliver of window not covered by the blackout curtains and prayed - prayed as hard as you ever had in your entire life.  You asked God to help you, to watch over your children, your parents, your siblings, your friends.  You asked for peace, you asked for forgiveness for all the stupid, selfish stuff you’d ever done.  Lastly, you asked for strength - the strength to do what you needed, when you needed to, without hesitation.  When you opened your eyes, the sun was higher and the little sliver of light was just enough to make a silly little shadow.  You brought your knees up to your chest and breathed slow and deep - even without the benefit of a clock, you knew today was it.  The men holding you made it clear that they needed whatever they wanted from Steve today, or you were dead.  You closed your eyes again and saw your daughters.  You knew once the tears started they wouldn’t stop.  You let them come.  You waited for Steve. 

  
  


He paced while waiting for Dr. Cho.  She needed a portable scanner to detect if the titanium-covered capsule was still in his body, given the trauma he had experienced for the last 70+ years.  He reassured her several times that yes, it had been placed in his left shoulder, and yes, he had seen x-rays that showed something Howard and Peggy had told him was an important component to Erskine’s formula, and that the doctor himself had entrusted to Steve with his last dying breath, and no, he didn’t know what was in it.  The scan identified more than one piece of metal in his body, which was not a surprise, given Steve’s lifestyle.  Even with the suits and the shield and his strength, he was a target, and sometimes targets get hit.  After narrowing it down to two choices, Dr. Cho previewed what she was going to do.  

 

“Basically, it’s minor exploratory surgery.  The scans told us location, now we just have to go in and pluck it out.”  Tony was hopping around like a little kid in anticipation of holding something that his father actually worked on and that could also solve a scientific mystery that was over 70 years in the making.  

 

Following her usual role to a T, Nat played devil’s advocate.  “Steve, you know what I think of Stephanie, right?  But no one has yet to sufficiently answer my question about how these goons knew about this piece of the formula.  It was implanted before any of us were born, or old enough to remember, and HYDRA made Bucky; why couldn’t they leach from what they know of his DNA?”

 

“Nat, I can’t tell you how they knew, and right now, I don’t care.  Once Dr. Cho gets this thing out of me, I don’t care if it’s a formula or a personal note from FDR, I am using it to get her back.”

 

Tony jumped in, surprising no one. “Steve, let’s just look at it before we give it, ok?  It  _ is _ possible that we could use this to our advantage, you know, two birds, one stone?  Let’s just get a look at it, and then decide if there’s something we can do to get Steph and to get even with those bastards.”

 

Dr. Cho was so quick and careful that Steve barely even needed anesthesia before she had opened, retrieved, and closed.  She placed the small capsule, no bigger than a small breath mint, in a sterile bag on the stainless steel surgical tray.  Now it was Tony’s turn.  They all followed him to the large room he had turned into his lab, where he sat in front of the oldest piece of equipment in the room, the microscope.

 

“This is incredible.  Old, but incredible.  The capsule is coated with a polymer that sealed the film inside and that, plus the titanium alloy that was used, makes me think this looks exactly like it did when my father implanted it.  We scanned it for snares and didn’t find anything - my guess is they thought that implanting it in Captain America was the only protection they needed.”

 

Steve was losing patience.  “Tony, get on with it.  We’re coming up on the deadline.”

 

“Right.  Sorry.”

 

It took only a few minutes to pierce the capsule.  The room held its collective breath as the translucent piece of film floated onto the table.  With extreme care, Tony placed it on a slide and examined it.  

 

“Cap, I’m sorry but I’m going to need more than a few minutes to look at this.”  Steve pushed out a long breath.  “How long are we talking, Tony?  We are on the clock.”

 

“I know, and rushing is not going to make it happen any sooner.  Look, I know what’s at stake here, and I will not be the reason anything happens to her.  Now, why don’t you and your bestie give me some time.  I will let you know as soon as I know anything.”

 

Steve initially refused to leave, but after Bucky spoke to him privately, he walked out of the room, feeling more frustrated and useless than he did the day his best friend fell from that train.  He didn’t want to leave the room, didn’t want to go outside, he wasn’t hungry and he didn’t want to sleep.  “Buck, I know you’re trying to help but I just want her back   I keep replaying the ransom video in my head - seeing her scream, bleed, and faint while I sat there doing nothing. I want to be able to see her for myself and tell her how sorry I am, how I will never let this happen again, how much I love her.  I can't stop until that happens.”

 

“I know, Steve.  Why don’t we just go outside and sit, then?.  We’ll be 30 seconds away if anyone needs us.”  Steve finally agreed.  He knew he would not find peace, but he knew he had little choice.

______________________________________________________________________

 

The last installment of this particular drama was about to go down.  After the men woke up, smoked, spoke for what seemed like a long time, and remembered to throw some food at you, they yelled at you to get up.  “It’s time for your man to give us what we want.  For your sake, I hope he does.” It felt strange because it was the first time they had uttered more than curses and orders since they took you.  You didn’t reply, just hung your head and held tight to Steve’s hoodie.  If you were still of sound mind, it was the fourth day of this fresh hell.  It was showtime and you were sick of being on stage.

 

This time was a bit different, though.  This time, they made you run your fingers through your hair in some vain attempt to clean up the stringy, flat mess.  They let you keep your hoodie, and they told you to smile and shake your head, agreeing with everything they said.  “If you scream again, the punishment will be much worse than last time.”  You swallowed hard and nodded.  

 

It was daytime, so the light from the camera flash wasn’t quite as blinding.  The other one had a short but sweet statement.  “Captain America, your time - no,  _ her  _ time is up.  You will meet us at the following coordinates in one hour.  You will bring the formula, and you will come alone.  No shield, no weapons, no Avengers.  You see we have not mistreated her.  You give us what we want, you can have what you want.”  Cut.  Scene.  Print.

 

Afterwards, they sent you back to where the chain would allow and you walked as much as the length let you.  You hoped that Steve knew what they were talking about and that he could give them something, anything, to placate them.  You knew these guys were taking orders from someone - all the phone calls, all the short, barked sentences that sounded like “Yes, sir!” to your ears, their lack of interest in you.  You had no idea who their boss was, but you were pretty sure they weren’t in charge of this operation.  

_________________________________________________________________

 

Tony alerted them as soon as the third message arrived.  The men ran to the workroom that functioned as a lab and demanded to see it.  Steve could hardly look at you.  You looked so tired, so empty, so lifeless.  This was not his best girl, this was someone he wouldn’t recognize if he was standing right next to her.  He turned to Tony and said, “You better be done, Stark, because I will take that and walk out this door even if you’re not.”

 

“Right. Well, I think I’ve got something.  The film with the element was not degraded in any way, and its information was clear.”  The entire room saw what was there, but Tony was the only one who understood what they were looking at. “The only other time I’ve ever seen this was when I saw the composition of your shield.  This element is vibranium.”

 

“So you’re saying that Erskine’s formula contains vibranium? How is that even possible?”

 

“I would need way more time than I have right now to answer that.  What I do know is that there is some small notation next to the element symbol that most likely indicates a process that is done to it or another element that is added to modify it.  I can’t say what that is without more time.”  He put his hands up, “I know I don’t have more time.”  Nat was ready.

 

“Steve, we cannot hand this over to whomever wants it.  You know that.  Thankfully, Tony has a pretty easy solution.”

 

“Yeah, it’s not rocket science.  We give them a doctored capsule.  We create a copy of the original slide using the portion of the film that has no markings, except we change it to another component in your serum and we include a nanite tracker before sealing it back up.  I have it right here.  Look at it.”

 

“....and since these guys probably have no idea what they’re looking for, it should be a simple switch.”  Steve nodded in agreement.  

 

“Alright, let’s go.  If any of you are going to tell me to do something, now would be the time.”  Nat gave him an earpiece and com link, and Tony provided him with an early-stage prototype of a new weapon - it looked like a man’s watch, but had some of the important functionality of Iron Man’s hand-level repeller.  

 

“There’s no way you’re going in there alone, punk.”

 

“Buck, you heard what they said.  I don’t want to take a chance….”

 

“Look, Stevie.  You forget that you’re not the only Super Soldier.  I’m coming with you.  They won’t have a clue, I guarantee it.”

 

The two men made their way to the rendezvous point.  It was time to get you back.

_________________________________________________________________________

 

All of a sudden, there was a lot of commotion in the little house.  The two men started putting their stuff in bags, throwing away their food wrappers, cups, and cigarette butts.  They told you nothing, but when you got out of the bathroom, they unlocked the chain and ripped it off your ankles, causing you to cry out in pain.  You looked down immediately, hoping to avoid getting hurt again, and saw the red, raw, swollen results of your capture.   Your body forgot how to move without being chained, and the first few steps towards the door were hesitant shuffles.  That ended when you were yelled at and yanked by your hair.  When you walked outside you were grateful it was getting dark, as the sunlight probably would’ve blinded you.  They forced you into the backseat of a car.

 

It was the same car that had transported you here in the first place.  You knew you didn’t smell great, but being in the confined space amplified it tenfold.  You laid your head back, and listened to the men laugh as they drove.  When you arrived, there was more yelling, dragging, and laughter.  “Your man is going to come for you, huh?  You think you’re worth anything to him, looking and smelling like a pig?”  You knew Steve would come.  You knew it, and you couldn’t wait for him to kick the living shit out of these two cocksuckers.  You decided it was in your best interest to keep that to yourself for now.  As you were prodded along, you noticed you were at some kind of lab or warehouse, you weren’t sure.  The name on the building was French, as was the signage around the parking area and entrance.  Really? You’d been in Canada for the last 4 days?  Well, that question was finally answered.  

 

It took a moment for your eyes to adjust when you were dragged into the dark building and thrown to the ground.  You let out an “ooooof!” as your butt hit the ground and your head snapped back.  You whipped your head around when you heard other voices, and saw 3 people walking towards you.  

 

Finally, they all spoke, and you understood.  “Oh my God, what is that smell?  Jesus!  Did you even let her shower?  She looks like shit!  Are you just trying to piss him off?”

 

Your captors stammered, clearly at a loss for what to say.  Though you were grateful they had essentially ignored you, it seemed they hadn’t followed the plan.  Couldn’t say that you felt bad for them.  You were pulled up off the ground and unceremoniously pushed towards an open area that appeared to be a lab.  You saw a microscope and some other equipment that you couldn’t name, then one of the new people sat at the table and started working.  “If our intel is correct, we should be able to see something right away.  It’ll probably be in some kind of covering, which I’ll have to break, and then it’ll be a matter of seeing what’s inside.” 

 

“How will we know if we’ve got the real thing?  They could easily switch it with something fake.”

 

“That’s why we don’t let her go until I complete the inspection.  When I apply this solution, I’ll be able to tell immediately if the materials are authentic from the target time period.  If they date later, we know it’s a fake.”

 

One of “your” guys spoke up.  “You’ll tell us and then what?”

 

“You know what he said.  He wants you to stick to the plan.  If it’s a fake, you kill her. Immediately.  Without warning.”  You thought you were going to throw up again.

______________________________________________________________________

 

“This is it, drop me here.”  Bucky opened the door while they were still over a mile away from the coordinates.  “It won’t take me long to cover you.  I’ll be there.”

 

When he pulled up and told the team what he saw, Steve heard Nat in his earpiece. “Says this building houses a pharmaceutical company.  Owners are listed as CGS pharmaceuticals.  They  are known for manufacturing a variety of drugs meant to treat blood disorders. We’re checking the provenance now.”

 

Steve parked, took a deep breath, and stepped out. He was not usually nervous, but when he ran his hand over the small lined box in his inside jacket pocket he felt sweat on the back of his neck.  When he got to the door, it opened before he could knock.

 

“Where is she?”  You heard his voice.  It was him.  You wanted to yell out but one of your captors put his hand around your mouth and stuck a gun in your ribs.  “Shut up.  Don’t make a sound.  It’s never too late for us to kill you.”

 

“She’s here, Captain, don’t you worry.  I am sure you understand that first we have to make sure you didn’t bring anything that we told you not to.”  He was thoroughly patted down and they took the box and his earpiece, leaving the watch.  “Tsk, tsk, tsk, Captain.  You didn’t follow directions.”

 

“Look, you have what you want.  Take it and you can let her go.”  

 

“It’s not that easy Captain Rogers.  Yes, we’ll take the package, but we can’t let you leave until we verify its authenticity.  Surely, you understand.”

 

“Of course.” He watched the box being taken to the lab table, and watched the technician do what was needed to open it.  

 

“How did you know about this? Why did you go after her?  She’s nothing to you.”

 

“You’re right, Captain, but she means much to  _ you.   _ It was a pleasant surprise for our organization to find you finally had a weakness.”

 

The technician looked at them and nodded, smiling.  “It’s real.”  The last person, who you had not heard speak yet, stepped out of the shadows. “Inform him.  Now.”  A phone call was made. 

 

Steve wasn’t done.  “Ok, you have what you want, you know it’s the real deal, now let her go.  She’s of no more use to you.”

 

The man who held your mouth continued to do so as he walked you into the light, where Steve could see you.  You could see him.  Tears started falling without warning.  Steve looked at you and his eyes told you everything without saying a word.  When the phone call ended, the technician whispered to the man who had given the orders, who then spoke.

 

“We thank you, Captain Rogers, for your cooperation.  You may have your woman.  Let her go.”

 

The large man took his hand off your mouth, pushing you toward Steve.  In the next instant you heard a loud pop and as you turned your head, Steve jumped towards you, pushing you down, as the bullet came whizzing past your head, grazing your shoulder on its way past.  You yelled as the pain in your shoulder registered.  He used Tony's mini-repeller to stun the man who pulled the trigger and upended a table in front of you to protect you for a moment.  You wanted to help as much as possible.

 

“I am pretty sure there are only 5 of them.  There’s only one I can’t see.”

 

“Ok.  Cover your ears, close your eyes!” 

 

Steve stood up and threw a nearby table at the three men closest to him while using the “flash bang” feature Tony installed.  Every person in the lab turned away from the flash as the door was kicked in, followed by one of the most beautiful sights you had ever seen - Bucky, with guns blazing.  He easily took out the shooter while Steve laid out the men who had captured you.   The other two ran, taking the capsule with them.  Bucky was getting ready to take off after them when he saw you.  

 

“Steve.  Look.”  

 

You were on the ground, rocking slowly, holding your knees up to your chest, and pulling Steve’s filthy and torn hoodie around every part of you it could reach.  Both men kneeled next to you while you put your head down on your knees and cried.  Bucky spoke to you first.

 

“Steph, doll, can you get up?” All you could do was nod your head.

 

Steve wanted to look at the wound on your shoulder, but when he tried to take off your hoodie, you startled him when you shouted, “NO!  Please, please don’t take it off.  Please let me keep it.  Please, Steve.”

 

“Ok baby, it’s ok.  Can I check if you’re bleeding?  Please?”  You were petrified.  You didn’t want to check.  You didn’t want to move.  You wanted to stay there until you felt like you again, but you knew that wasn't right. You agreed and slipped your arm out of the sleeve, holding your breath as you bent your shoulder.  You didn’t have a shirt on under the hoodie, and when Bucky saw your skin he turned away to give you some privacy.  

 

“Bucky, can you go get that med kit from the trunk of the car, and maybe some water if you find any?” Steve sat and gathered you to his chest. 

 

“It’s ok baby, I’m here.  You’re here.  They’re gone.  I’m here.”  You stared ahead while he provided some basic first aid for what appeared to be a flesh wound that was bleeding, but not too badly.  After he bandaged you, he gently placed the hoodie back over your side, and helped you up.  He gently but firmly held your waist as he led you out of the warehouse and into the dark.  You stopped and lifted your eyes upward to see the stars.  Steve smiled and looked at you without saying a word while Bucky quietly came up on your other side.  You turned your face towards him and smiled weakly, laying your head on his chest.  Bucky didn’t know what to do and looked over your head to Steve with doubt in his eyes as they led you to the car.  Steve just nodded and kept walking.  When Bucky tried to get in the driver’s seat, you grabbed his arm, “Please, Bucky, can you sit with me?  Please?”

 

“Of course, doll, whatever you want.”

 

Steve drove and matched your silence.  He knew that you were in shock and wanted to let you make the first move, say the first thing.  You just wanted to sit and look out the window, with Bucky’s metal arm around you, holding you as tightly as you wanted.  

 

“I’m sorry.”  You said it so quietly, neither man was sure you had spoken.

 

“What in the world are you sorry for, doll?”

 

“I’m sorry this happened.  I’m sorry that you risked your safety for me.  I’m sorry I couldn’t help you more.”

 

Bucky ran his hand over your hair and kissed your forehead.  “Steph, you have nothing to be sorry for.  You stayed strong.  You stayed alive.  You did the only thing that anyone would hope for.”

 

You felt a wave of nausea come over you.  “Steve, STOP.  PLEASE PULL OVER, NOW!”  You just made it out of the car before getting sick.  Your stomach was essentially empty, and as you continued to dry heave, Steve came over and held your hair.  He kept telling you he was there, and you were with him, and that you were okay, you were safe.  After he was sure you were done, he gave you some water to sip, and sat with you on the side of the road, at the top of a grassy hill.  

 

“I think your hoodie is officially burn-able.  I’m sorry, but I don’t have any other clothes.”

 

“Wait a second.”  He took off his shirt, leaving him in just a t-shirt, and laid it across your legs.  “I can help you get that off if you want.”

 

“Yes, please.”

 

“Ok sweetie, let’s just do it slowly, there’s no rush.  We don’t want you to open the shoulder wound.”  You started shivering as he helped you lift it over your head, seamlessly layering his shirt over you so you wouldn’t be exposed.  You continued to shiver, and he silently wrapped you into his chest and held you.  You started to cry as he gently rocked you back and forth.  You kept saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” over and over again, like they were the only words you knew.  He made gentle shushing noises until you stopped, until you had nothing left.  When he felt you finally relax into sleep, he picked you up and laid you down in the backseat, with Bucky laying your head on his lap and comforting you any way he could.  “I’m sorry I’m so dirty Bucky….”  

 

“Shhhhhhh, doll.  You are perfect.  Sleep.”  You couldn’t stop yourself from falling into deep sleep for the first time in almost 5 days.

 

When they arrived at the safe house, you were still sleeping, so together they maneuvered you out of the backseat and carried you inside, directly to a waiting Dr. Cho and her makeshift medical suite.  

 

“We need to get her undressed.  Gentlemen, please give us a moment.”  Neither man moved.  

 

“Steve.  Bucky.  She needs our attention now.  I suspect she’s dehydrated and that shoulder wound needs to be treated.  You’ve done your job, now let us do ours. I promise, she’s not going anywhere.”  They would only go as far as the next room.  Natasha sat on the floor in front of them, and leaned back on Steve’s knees.

 

“She’s back.  You got her.  She’s okay.  Good job.”

 

“Yeah.  Thanks, Nat.”  She got up and got each of them a Gatorade and some food before leaving them alone.  

 

“I have to call the girls, her parents, her friends….I’m sure they’ve barely left the phone the whole time.”

 

“Steve, why don’t you wait until Dr. Cho is done, so you can tell them how she is.”

 

At least an hour passed, during which each man paced and occasionally tried to see what was happening.  The both stood as Dr. Cho pushed aside the curtain filling the doorway.

 

“She’s fine.  Physically, that is.  She was dehydrated and said she was nauseous, which is expected.  She has deep cuts along her ankles where she said she was chained to something.  We’re going to run fluids, pain medication, and antibiotics through her IV at least through tomorrow.  She asked to take a shower, but we can’t let her right now.  I ordered something to help her sleep, but thought you might want to talk to her before she gets it.”

 

“Doctor, was there any evidence of sexual trauma?”

 

“We did a rape kit as a precaution, but she said the only times they touched her was to hit her, kick her, or pull her hair, they never tried to take advantage of her in that way.”

 

“Thank you doctor.  Can I stay with her tonight?  Please?”

 

“Yes, of course Steve, just be careful with the IV.”

 

Bucky looked at him, “You go.  I’m going to just say goodnight to her, then get a shower and get to bed.  If you need me, just come get me.”

 

After Bucky came out of your room, Steve pulled up a chair beside your bed and laid his hand over yours.  You turned your head to look at him.  One of the nurses had at least tried to wash your hair, for which you were grateful.  You were so tired - the pain medication was starting to work and your brain was ready to turn off.  Steve stood and moved his hand up to cup your cheek and leaned his forehead against yours.

 

“I love you Stephanie.  I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

 

“I’m sorry…….” you were too tired to even cry the tears that threatened.

 

He gently held your face in both his hands and kissed you.  The tears you felt on your face were his.  The nurse came in and Steve nodded when she said she needed to run the sleep medicine through the IV.  You locked eyes with him and grabbed his hand, suddenly afraid to close yours. 

 

“Sleep, my love.  I’ll be here when you wake up.  I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Shortly after, when he knew you were asleep, he stepped out and made the phone calls all your loved ones were waiting for.  The girls wanted to talk to you, to see you, but after Steve explained that you were asleep, they made him promise that you would call as soon as you could.  Your parents and Maria exacted the same promise.  Steve went back to you, took your hand and watched you sleep, hoping it was peaceful, fearing it would not be.

 

Eventually Steve fell asleep, awakened only by the nurses coming in to attend to your needs.  Suddenly, you sat straight up in bed, hyperventilating, shaking and sweating.  The nurses rushed in.  Steve got out of their way and made sure you didn’t pull out your IV.  Your heart rate was off the charts, but Steve had seen your nightmares and this fit the bill.  You asked the nurses if he could have a minute with you, with the lights off.  Given that there was no imminent danger, they agreed.

 

He walked over to the other side of the bed, so as not to tangle your lines.  He laid on the bed, pulled your back against his chest, and started to rub your back and whisper how much he loved you, that you were with him, that you were safe, that it was only a nightmare.  Your vitals returned to normal and you fell back asleep quickly, but Steve stayed there, holding you to him, not only for your sake, but to convince himself that the nightmare of the last 5 days really was over.  When Bucky came downstairs the next morning, he pulled the curtain aside and saw Steve lying next to you, holding you to him with a small smile on his lips, as you both slept.  He let the curtain fall and backed out of the room quietly.

 

You woke up feeling drugged and then remembered that yes, indeed, you had been, at your request.  You knew where you were, what had happened, and that Steve had slept by you all night, keeping you safe, keeping the monsters at bay as best he could.  When you saw the sun hadn’t risen fully yet, you knew it was early and chuckled.  It seemed that even in situations as serious as this, your body told you to wake up early.  

 

Trying not to wake him, you took a minute to breathe in Steve’s scent and realized how much you had missed it.  When the nurse came in to take blood, you put your pointer finger in front of your lips, “Shhhhhh, he’s sleeping.”  

 

She smiled, “You should be, too.  It’s not even 6 o’clock yet.”

 

“Can I get up?”

 

“Not yet.  You have a catheter in and the IV.  When Dr. Cho comes down, you can ask her.  If you’re feeling well enough and she likes your morning numbers, then I don’t see why she wouldn't let you.”

 

“Thank God, I can’t wait to stand under the shower until I turn into a big pruney puddle.”

 

“I bet.  One piece of advice - don’t try to do too much, too soon.”

 

“Don’t worry ma’am, I won’t let that happen.”  You turned towards Steve and smiled as he sleepily kissed your forehead.

 

“I’m sorry we woke you.”

 

“S’ok.  Come on, fall back asleep with me.  It’s too early to be up.”  As best you could with all the tubing attached to you, you curled into his chest, reveling in how warm he was.  You felt comfortable for the first time in too long and with his arms wrapped around you, fell back asleep.

 

You woke up as Dr. Cho came in.  She looked at your numbers from the morning blood work, examined your shoulder, and declared you able to leave the makeshift hospital bed.  Without even asking, she told you you could absolutely take a shower, but that you should have someone nearby and to sit down if you felt lightheaded.  With your assurance that you would follow her directions, she ordered the removal of all the tubing. You were quick to get up, but just as quickly realized you had no idea where you were or where to find the shower.  You looked at Steve and smiled.  

 

“Help a girl out, soldier?”

 

“Yes ma’am.  If you would be willing to take my arm, I’ll escort you.”

 

You should have known that any Avengers safe house would be special.  This one was modest, relatively speaking, but beautiful.  The walk-in shower was perfect, but you realized something. 

“Steve, I don’t have any clothes. Do you or Bucky have something I can borrow?  A big t-shirt, even?”

 

He wrapped his arm around you. “Bucky is my best friend and I know you care about him, but if you’re going to wear someone’s clothes, they’re going to be mine.  Get in the shower, I’ll be back in a few minutes with something.”

 

You checked the water temperature and adjusted it so it was as hot and the spray as strong as you could handle.  Steve knocked on the bathroom door, and after letting him in so he could be there if you needed him, you stepped under the water, turning your face directly into it.  You didn’t want to just get clean, you wanted to sandblast the last 5 days off of your body.  You wished it could do the same thing to your mind, but you knew that was going to be a more difficult process.  For right now, you stood in the water, waiting for something, but you didn’t know what.  Eventually, you did everything you craved for the last 5 days, washing and conditioning your hair twice, scrubbing yourself head to toe at least that many times, and brushing your teeth to the point of irritating your gums.  When you finally turned off the water and wrapped the large towel around your body, Steve was waiting to help you.

 

“I’m ok, really.”

 

“Well then, this won’t be a big deal, will it?”

 

He had found a long shirt (t-shirt to him, nightshirt to you) and a fleece zip-up.  

 

“Thank you, love.  I think, as comfortable as this is, I’m going to need some real clothes before I go anywhere.”

 

“That’s fine.  Just tell me what you need and we’ll get it.”

  
“Thank you, but for right now, I’m very tired and very hungry.”

 

“I thought you might be, come on.”

 

Dr. Cho told him to give you light foods - fruit, clear soup, crackers.  You asked for tea, which raised Steve’s eyebrow, but after explaining you weren’t ready to go back to coffee, he brought a steaming mug of your favorite flavor.  As he tucked you in bed and started to leave, you stopped him.

 

“Are you leaving?”

 

“I thought you might want some time alone, but I don’t have to.  I don’t want to.”

 

“Please stay.”

 

He took off his shoes and cotton shirt before getting under the covers with you.

 

“Thank you. I know you or the others might want to talk to me about what happened, but I don’t feel ready yet.  Is that ok?”

 

“It’s more than ok.  We actually know a good amount of what happened, but you and I have the same priorities, and the first of them is for you to feel safe and heal.”

 

“I’m going to need help, I’m going to need a therapist.  We both know this is just the beginning. I hope you’re ready for the road ahead.”

 

“You will have everything you need, and everything I can give you, and if this is the beginning, I’m with you until the end of the line.”


	14. The Long Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being rescued was the only thing that had kept you going after you were abducted, but the recovery after was harder - you knew there was going to be a light at the end of the tunnel, a time when you wouldn’t be scared of being alone - but you were far from there yet. Thanks to Steve, Bucky, and the entire Avengers team, your recovery began in peace and quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading - I hope you like where the story is going. I am trying to keep the pace enjoyable, but still take the time to flesh out the characters. I want to give ultimate thanks to @MsEnglish101 for being an invaluable sounding board and editor. This chapter and this entire work is much better thanks to her. Please leave comments and let me know how you like it. Thanks!

The next few days were a blur.  Physically, you were healing, and mentally, things seemed ok, but you always felt tired and didn’t have much energy, which was strange for you.  Your time with Steve was quiet - reading, watching him draw, walking, falling asleep together.  Neither of you talked much about what happened, and sometimes you wished you were brave enough to bring it up.  He took such care when he was with you, letting you lead and doing what made you comfortable, that you wondered if his feelings had changed from boyfriend to big brother.  Sometimes, Bucky was easier to talk to - there was less shared history, less tension, and fewer expectations, which was a welcome relief. 

 

“What's up, doll, you look far away.”

 

“I hate feeling this way, Buck. I feel like I'm not enough, that I'm not getting back to myself fast enough for me, for the girls, for Steve. He's been patient and thoughtful - but I feel like I'm disappointing him somehow.”

 

He smiled and looked at you.  “I know for a fact you're not disappointing anyone, least of all Steve. You're used to taking care of others before yourself.  After you survived something like you did, it's hard to allow yourself to heal at your own pace, not anyone else’s.”

 

You had to smile.  “Thanks Bucky. Where did you learn all that stuff?”

 

“When you've seen as many headshrinkers as I have since I woke up, you pick up a little of their lingo.”

 

One thing that definitely made you feel more like yourself was speaking to your girls several times a day - the first time you FaceTimed was after your bruises healed - you were determined to be strong but started bawling the minute you saw their faces.  Your parents and siblings were equally relieved and grateful.  Both you and Steve had to stop Maria, Jen, and Ally from an all night drive to see you.  They didn’t need much convincing to wait once you told them how tired you were, and how you needed a little bit more time before you felt like you could try to re-enter the life you loved not so long ago.  

 

Tony had flown a well-known psychologist that specializes in PTSD and similar issues to the safe house to talk with you and Steve.  Your one-on-one sessions were the only time Steve left you, and even then, he was never that far.  Dr. Mansfield, or Deb, as she insisted you call her, had a load of experience with vets returning from war, individuals who had been stalked or terrorized and yes, women and children who were abducted and were trying to return to their lives.  You had seen a therapist on and off for years, particularly with the divorce and the time leading up to it, and weren’t afraid of the process.  You loved your counselor, but you knew that you would need all the specialty Deb had to give if you were going to heal and return to some level of normalcy.  

 

After the initial shock had worn off, the investigation into CGS Pharmaceuticals had begun, and with the tracking device within the capsule activated, you flew with the team to the compound, where you, Steve, and Deb settled into a routine, talking for as long as you needed, several times a day, both apart and together.  Steve was always within earshot, trying not to smother or hover.  You loved him for always being there, but you knew, even without Deb’s intervention, that it wasn’t smart to place your entire sense of safety on someone else’s shoulders.

 

It wasn’t long into your recovery that the girls arrived, running into your arms, knocking you into a nearby chair and not letting you go.  John stood behind them and hugged you very tightly, kissing your forehead.  “I’m so glad you’re safe and sound, Steph.  We were all crazy with worry until Steve let us knew you were safe.”  Steve had fallen back, trying to respect your time with them, but John sought him out, shaking his hand and thanking him with a voice breaking with emotion.  When they finally let you go, the girls hugged Steve as tight as they could and kissed him.  His face showed how surprised and moved he was, as were you.

 

The three of you spent hours sitting on your bed, talking, yes, but mainly staying within arms reach of each other.  Tony impressed upon you that the compound was to be considered your home, so you walked, swam, watched movies, and baked so much that even Sam had to tell you to take a break.  In a relatively short amount of time, you and the girls felt comfortable spending time apart, usually in sight of one or more protection agents assigned to them.  One day while Bucky took them to a movie, you and Steve walked to “your” lake. Ever since your first date, you loved being there and often wanted to visit.  When you sat on the edge of the dock, letting your toes touch the water, Steve took your hand and turned your face to his.  

 

“I’ve missed you, Steph.” 

 

You had to laugh. “How is that possible?  You’ve been with me every day; I honestly thought you’d be sick of me by now.  I’m kind of sick of myself, to be honest.”  

 

He smiled sadly, and sighed. “I don’t think you would be surprised to know that I was not exactly talkative in my sessions with Dr. Mansfield at first.  I’ve been a soldier for a very long time and I didn’t think I needed to dissect every part of what happened.  I certainly didn’t see the point of hashing it out over and over again.”  

 

He looked away from you, towards the water.  He tossed a handful of pebbles in with one hand and continued holding yours with the other.  ”I knew I was being overprotective of you after what happened, and I thought it was warranted.  I didn’t think I could survive if anything else happened to you.  The doc helped me see that in doing that I was actually taking something away from you, from us.”  You knew he didn’t want questions, just time to say what he needed to.

 

“In trying to keep you safe, I changed one of the things I cherished most about us - our balance.  We always had a great give-and-take….in our lives, in our respect for each other’s work, hell, even in bed.  I decided, on my own, to change that, to make my decisions the right decisions - to be your protector, not your partner.” 

 

You kissed his cheek and leaned your head on his shoulder.  “I guess you’re right, but I can’t say I was upset about it.  I’m sure that says something about me being codependent or something equally grave.”  You both smiled, but knew there was truth to what you were sharing.  

 

“So why did you say you missed me?  Is it because I’m not the same person? That you don’t love the ‘me’ that is here now, after this, that you miss the “me” you had before this all happened?” 

 

You knew you needed to ask the question, you knew you both needed the answer to be spoken aloud, but that didn’t mean you wanted to hear it.

 

“No.  I didn’t know it was possible, but I love you more.  You are so strong, so brave.  You aren’t a soldier, but you survived and came back to me, to all of us.  What I miss is trusting myself - that what we have is strong enough to survive this, trusting that you are as strong, if not stronger than me and will stay with me because you love me, not because you need me.  I have been hovering because I needed you to need me.  I was afraid that because I didn’t stop this from happening in the first place and you survived, that you could survive the aftermath without me, too.”

 

You were both crying.  For you, it was cleansing.  To hear the strongest, bravest, most caring, loving, beautiful man in the world say you were strong just for surviving and that he loved you more because of the nightmare you lived through, you had no words.  You stood up, wiped your eyes and held out your hand for him to take.  When he stood in front of you, he wrapped his arms around you and cried into your shoulder.  He did not try to swallow his sobs, instead soaking your shirt as he hugged you with such force you shivered.  

 

When his and your tears slowed, you snuggled your head into his neck.

 

“Thank you, my love. Thank you for sharing this with me. I want to make sure you understand one thing, though,” you pulled back so you looked him in the eye, “no matter what, I have never felt, thought, or dreamed I could get through this without you here.  Could I have survived? Yes.  Could I have started to heal, start to smile, start to feel like a woman again, if it weren’t for you?  Absolutely not.”  

 

He sighed and kissed your forehead, spent and quiet.

 

“C’mon, catharsis makes me hungry.  Whaddya say we get outta here and get something yummy?  My treat, as long as you drive.”  He laughed as he took your hand.  When you arrived at a local all-night diner that served delicious pie and milkshakes and you saw that megawatt smile of his, you felt like you’d turned a corner.  You knew there was still tons of shit to process around that corner, but tonight felt big, important, _ meaningful _ for both of you.  On the way home, you put your feet up on the seat next to him and leaned your head out the open passenger-side window to look up at the stars.  As he pulled into the compound’s garage, you both received a text from Bucky.

 

**Bucky** : Hey you love birds.  Just wanted to let you know that we all had fun at the movies and I've been told we “must” go out for ice cream, and then have a sleepover in your room with me and Nat and Wanda. They told me they’re going to sleep in the bed, and I would get the floor and that I was on protection duty.  I barely convinced them that I did not have to sleep in front of the door.  Nice, huh?

**Steph** : Thanks for letting us know, Buck.  A sleepover, huh? Poor you, you do not have to say yes, you know.

**Steve** : Yeah, Buck, I’d be happy to do that.  I’ve been sleeping on Steph’s couch, so the floor wouldn’t be too much worse. :)

**Bucky** : You two are thick, you know that? I am telling you THREE AVENGERS ARE HAVING A SLEEP OVER WITH THE GIRLS.  YOU DO NOT NEED TO COME BACK YOUR ROOM TONIGHT, STEPHANIE!

**Steph:** Ooops.  Yeah, I totally missed that.  I’m looking at Steve’s face and it’s clear he did, too.

**Steve:** Thanks, Buck.  You know how to get us if you need us.

 

Steve walked around to your door and opened it, and gave you his hand to steady you while you hopped down.  As your feet landed on the ground, you were smiling absentmindedly about Bucky’s texts when you noticed Steve was quiet.  He was looking at you, but not the way he had been since you’d been back.  This was the way he looked at you before this all happened; when you were near each other, but not close enough, when you could have sworn you felt sparks between you, when you wanted nothing more than for him to rip your clothes off and have his way with you.   You realized you liked that idea.  Before you thought too much about it, you grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down to your mouth.  He leaned you into the side of the truck, pushing your shoulders back so he could kiss down your jaw and your neck.  He hadn’t tickled you in too long, and now your body was letting you know you needed him. Now.  

 

He pulled back for a moment. “Are you sure?  We don’t have to do this, you know.”

 

You answered when you pulled his hand towards the door, and as soon as you got in his room, started pulling each other’s clothes off.  He helped you with his belt (you could never do it while you were kissing him), then you pulled his shirt off and he did the same for you.  You were both ravenous.  There was no softness, no patience, no time for anything but each other.  He walked you back the few steps to his bed and made sure he took off every single piece of clothing you had on.  When you laid down on the bed, you brought him down on top of you and let yourself just feel everything - his tongue on your neck, his bare skin against yours, the forcefulness of his hands that were everywhere all at once.  You abandoned all thought, all speech, all reason, and let him lead.  You didn’t just want him, you needed him, in the literal sense.  You needed him to know that you could not do this life without him, and that you loved everything about him without reservation.  You needed him to see that you were at your most complete when he was with you.  He gave you the same - telling you how much he loved you, how much he missed you, how beautiful you were, with every thrust and every kiss.

 

When you both finished and your breathing had returned to normal, he put his head on your chest and you put his arms around him, you, protecting him.  For the first time since your return, you did not need sleeping pills, and when you woke up the next morning, you saw his face was still and peaceful.  Life was good, well, at least getting better.

 

You walked out to the balcony as the sun was rising.  It was a bit chilly, so you made yourself a hot cup of tea, grabbed a blanket and Steve’s jacket and sat outside, with no special purpose, which in and of itself was a relief.  You were very curious to hear how the sleepover with Bucky, Wanda and Nat went, but knew that trying to wake your children at this hour was asking for trouble.  You realized, however, that people with small children were definitely awake.

 

**Steph:**  Morning love.

**Maria:** Hi sweetie.  How are you?

**Steph:**  Really, really good, thanks.  I miss you and Jen and Ally.

**Maria:** When are you coming home?

**Steph:**  I hope soon.  School’s going to start before you know it, and I can’t avoid it forever.

**Maria:**  Are you scared?

**Steph:**  Yes

**Maria:** Is there anything you need?  Is there anything I can do for you?

**Steph:**  I don’t know.  Thank you.  If I need something, I’ll ask, believe me.

**Maria:**  How are things with Steve?

**Steph:** Really good, actually (wink wink)

**Maria:** ….and ladies and gentlemen…..the bitch is back!!!  Seriously, I am very happy for you.  He’s pretty great.

**Steph:**  Thanks, yes he is.  

**Maria:** Gotta tell you though, I almost kicked his ass when this bullshit all went down.

**Steph:** ???

**Maria:**  Steph, he was the reason this happened.  He was the reason that my best friend was taken and hurt.  I told him that if he didn’t do what he promised and get you back, I would kill him.

**Steph:**  Thanks, love.  That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me, but don’t blame him.  He saved me. :)

**Maria:**  Alright, whatever you say.  Hey, are you still seeing the PTSD therapist?

**Steph:**  Yes, she’s been amazing.  She has been a huge reason for how I feel, and for the wink wink.  LOL :)

**Maria:**  Will you still see her when you come home?

**Steph:**  Well, not sure if it’ll be her specifically, but it will be someone, definitely.

**Steph:** Alright love, I gotta go wake up my boyfriend.

**Maria:** oooooooooooooooooo, you go girl.

**Steph:** Love you

**Maria:** I love you, too.

 

“Who could you possibly be talking to at this hour?”  Even with crazy sleep hair and a smooshed face, Steve was a thing of beauty.  Breathtaking, really.

 

“It’s pretty much a guarantee that a woman with young kids is up at this hour.  Maria.”

 

“Ahhhhhh.  How is she?”

 

“Good.  She asked me when I was coming home.”

 

“What did you say?”

 

“I said I wasn’t sure, but that I hoped it was soon. School…..”

 

“Steph.”

 

“Yup?”

 

“I’d been waiting to talk to you about that, and after last night, it feels like the time.”

 

You were quiet.  You had no idea what was coming.

 

“I was hoping you and the girls would stay here.  With me and everyone.”

 

Life at the Avengers compound was not normal, run-of-the-mill life.  You knew that in order to move forward, you, Steve, and the girls needed to face the very real demons that precipitated your recurring nightmares.

 

You asked him to sit down.  You got up, put down your cup, and sat on his lap, with your head on his chest and your arms around his shoulders.

 

“Steve, you know I love you.  You know I need you and not just because you keep us safe, but because you are who you are.  There’s no denying, at least from my end, that I don’t feel like myself without you.”

 

“But?”

 

“But I have to at least try.  I’ve talked a lot about it with Deb, and thought a lot about it on my own - if I don’t at least try to re-enter my life, I’ll never feel like I truly survived.  I’ll only know that I lived through it and took refuge in possibly the most secure place on Earth, where anyone would feel safe.”

 

“It’s not over, though...we didn’t catch everyone involved.  I won’t always be there.  I don’t know….”

 

“I think you know by now that I love to have plans.  I love to make lists and think about all the options and possible outcomes for every part of my life.  Well, this thing that happened wasn’t on any list.  I just stayed alive, minute by minute, praying that you would come, that anyone would come.  It doesn’t take a genius to guess that being in the apartment again might set me off, might make me panic, might make me scared, that it might not work in the long run, but I need to try - no, I want to try.  I was hoping you would be there with me and the girls to help us figure that out. Would you consider that?”

 

His arms snaked even tighter around you and he kissed the side of your face.  “I would never be anywhere else.  Nothing could keep me away.”  You turned to him and thanked him and he kissed you, hard.

 

“Stephanie Elizabeth, every time I think I’ve got you figured out, you do something that surprises me, impresses me, excites me, ignites me - sometimes all of those at the same time.  You are the most remarkable woman I’ve ever met.  My heart is yours, for as long as you want me.”

 

You stood up, turned and straddled his legs so you could properly kiss him.  

 

“Captain, I sure hope you're planning on taking me back to bed.”

 

“Absolutely, ma’am.”

 

“Then what are you waiting for soldier?”  You squealed as you made him chase you, or at least make a pretense of chasing you, around the apartment.  When he “finally” caught you, you were both laughing, which was so much nicer than crying.  

 

“I want to try something, trust me?”

 

“Oh no.  The last time you asked me that, I had to ride on a motorcycle.  You’re not planning on trying to have sex with me on that thing?”

 

“No. Though...”

 

You threw a pillow straight at his face, which of course, he caught.  Damn reflexes.

 

“Trust me.  Come with me.”  You took his offered hand and followed him to the bathroom.  Ugh, was he going to try to have shower sex?  That was another thing on your “not a fan of” list.  You chuckled to yourself as you thought you might need to re-write that list, or chuck it all together.

 

“Steve…..I trust you, you know that, but the shower?”

 

“I know you trust me, but I also want you to stop thinking.  Let go of trying to hide yourself from me - you don’t need to, there’s nothing that needs to be hidden.  Let me make you feel good, please.”  

 

You nodded and watched him get undressed, step in, and turn on the water.  You didn’t realize that it was possible he could be sexier, but yes, wet Steve was like looking into the sun.  You turned around, took off your night shirt and glasses, and took out the barrette that was holding your hair in a top knot.  You took a deep breath and stepped beside him, letting him wrap his wet arms around you and kiss you while most of the water fell on his back. 

 

He turned you around and used his body wash to soap up your shoulders, back, and anywhere else he wanted.  You were honestly trying to stop thinking, with some success.  You slowly turned to face him.  “Can I?” you asked as you ran your fingers lightly over his chest.  

 

“Yes, please.”  

 

You did the same to him and when you were both soapy, you wrapped your arms around him, giggling as you slipped against each other.  This wasn’t so bad.

 

He moved his hand down, and moved you against the wall of the shower.  The contrast of the hot water and cold tile gave you goosebumps.  He lifted your leg so your foot rested on the side of the tub, and let you circle your hand around him and slowly pump while you kissed.  His hands were on either side of your head and when he started to lean his head into the crook of your neck and push harder into your hand, you knew he was ready. You were there with him, not needing the shower spray to be totally soaked and hungry for him to be in you. 

 

He repositioned your leg, put his right arm around your waist and pulled you to his chest. You were able to angle his tip at your entrance and with one hard thrust he was exactly where you wanted him. You could not stop yourself from making the most animalistic sound you had ever made. That caught his attention and he stared with a very self-satisfied smile on his face. 

 

“Good?”

 

“Shut up and make me come. Now.”

 

“You have to ask nicely.” Again with the smirk, with the addition of that cute little eyebrow wiggle. 

 

“Please. Harder, please.”

 

“Yes, ma’am,” and he lifted you up as you wrapped your legs around his waist, and with the new, more extreme angle, had you screaming and losing count of how many times you came. You felt him go over the edge and spill into you while you held him with every ounce of strength you had left. 

 

You did not know how he was still standing. You put your legs on the floor, surprised they could support you after that.  He still held you to him, slipping against each other’s soapy bodies, kisses mixed with laughter. 

 

You stood under the spray and started washing your hair when he stepped behind you and started working his huge, strong hands through the shampoo. 

 

“Is there anything you can't do? That feels amazing.”

 

“Shhhhhh. Remember, no thinking, just enjoy it.”  

 

You could just about hum your agreement as he rinsed your suds out and used the nozzle to clean some other places he had been in the last hour. 

 

You stepped out and wrapped yourself in your bathrobe, slathering on moisturizer and the other components of your often-neglected skincare routine. When he finally turned off the water and stepped out, he just watched you with a smile on his face. 

 

“You have perma-grin.”

 

“Yup, thanks to you. So, thanks.”

 

“Wanna know what turned me on the most?”

 

“When I practically growled?”

 

“Well, that was definitely a highlight, but there were a few times you were totally in the moment. You disconnected your brain and let yourself go.”

 

“That was cool, gotta say.”

 

“Well _ I _ gotta say I'm starving. How's about breakfast?”

 

“I'm all in for that. Also I think the girls will be up. I should probably make an appearance and do the Mom thing.”

 

**Steve:** Buck, you alive?

**Bucky:** No. 

**Steve:** what happened?

**Bucky:** I'm not telling you. Just know the girls are fine but there may or may not be photographic evidence of me getting something called a mani-pedi. 

**Bucky:** Steve?

**Steve:** I'm sorry Buck.  I was laughing so hard I dropped the phone. 

**Bucky:** you're dead, punk. DEAD. 

**Steve:** Wait - Steph wants in

 

**Steph:** good morning oh guardian of children and saver of relationships. What's this I hear about your nails and toes looking pretty? :))))))

**Bucky:** You two can just go to hell. 

**Steph:** well at least both Steve and I will go with smiles on our faces. 

**Bucky:** now I'm really killing myself 

**Steph:** once we catch our breath from laughing so hard, we’ll be there. Have you guys had breakfast?

**Bucky:** No, and now I have no appetite. 

 

You and Steve were crying from laughter as you got dressed and made your way to the kitchen. You started pulling out ingredients, figuring the least you could do was make a yummy breakfast after giving Bucky such a hard time. When the girls got to the table, they were giddy as they introduced Bucky as their beauty test subject and escorted him in. To see James Buchanan Barnes with a man bun, purple nail polish, and moisturized skin with a scowl on his face was a tie for best moment of your day. Steve couldn't breathe. 

 

You hugged Bucky as hard as you could and thanked him.  He finally cracked a smile.

 

“I know this is killing your reputation, but believe me, we all know what a softie you are, and we love you for it.”

 

He blushed.  Man bun, purple nail polish, moisturizer, and now blushing.  Who’d have ever thought the Winter Soldier would be considered too cute for words?

 

While everyone was happily eating and chatting, you felt like there was no better time to bring up what you’d been thinking about.

 

“Girls, I want to ask what you think about going back to Brooklyn.”

 

They stopped cold.  Bucky stared between you and Steve and did not look happy.  You waited, and when they didn’t say anything, you went on.

 

“Here’s my opinion.  Brooklyn has always been your home.  You’ve never lived anywhere else.  Your friends, your school, your Dad and Sue, they are all there.  I want to try to go back.  This really awful thing happened - not just to me, but to all of us - and I know we can’t erase it or forget it, but with some precautions in place, a few changes, I think we can make it work.”

 

“What kind of changes?” Lizzy was always first with questions.

 

“Well, Steve would still have his apartment and we’d have ours, but we all know that Steve has a job and we shouldn’t put our safety and sense of peace just in his hands.  That’s not fair, and it’s not healthy for us - BUT - he and I talked about continuing to have protection, at least when we first go back.”

 

“You mean agents?  Like the Secret Service?”  

 

Steve chimed in, “No, better than those guys.”  You all smiled.

 

“They would be highly trained people.  There’s more talking to do about who it would be, and what it would look like.  The question remains, though - how does it make you feel to think about going back to Brooklyn, trying to go back to our ordinary, non-Avengers life? Other than missing the mani-pedi salon for Bucky, of course.”  Your reflexes weren’t fast enough to miss the piece of toast he whizzed at you.

 

Gabbi was worried, you could tell, but you knew she’d tell you what was bothering her on her own time.  You reached out for her hand, and she spoke. 

 

“But Mom, what if those people come back again?  They know where we live, they know who you are…..”  She started to cry.  You got up and kneeled in front of her, pulling her to you.  She crumpled into you, and you reached for Lizzy, holding her hand while your heart was breaking.  You didn’t know what to say.  You looked over their heads at Steve and Bucky, hoping they could help you.  It was Steve who spoke first.

 

“Guys, I always pride myself on knowing what to do and how to help people.  This time, something really bad happened to someone I love more than anything, and I couldn’t stop it.  At first, I told your Mom that I wanted you all to stay here at the compound, with me, with Bucky, with everyone.  I thought it would be safer, that it would protect you all from anything bad happening again.  Then she said something that made a lot of sense.”

 

“Well, don’t keep us in suspense, Steve!”  Gabbi, ever the dramatist.

 

“She said that it might be safer, but that it wouldn’t be your lives, our lives.  You guys have school, you have friends, and activities, and most importantly, your Dad, in Brooklyn.”

 

You picked up where he left off. “I said I wanted to try.  I don’t know if we’ll be successful, but I think we have to.  Otherwise, we’re running from our lives, and that just makes me mad.”

 

“Tell you what.  No one has to decide this morning, I just wanted to plant the seed.  Let’s just table it for now, and I would ask you to consider it and maybe talk later.”  That seemed to lighten the mood considerably.  

 

“Well, we’re still here in paradise, what would you like to do today?”

 

Bucky was let off the hook from the family fun, and after he took his leave with a grateful smile, you, Steve, and the girls decided to take advantage of some of the scenery in the area and go for a picnic.  It was a wonderful day, with lots of laughing and fun, and it felt perfect.  When the group of you came back, sunburned and sleepy, the girls asked if they could hang out in the game room, by themselves. Lizzy followed you out.  

 

“Mom, Gabbi and I want to talk about what you said this morning, by ourselves.  Is that ok?”

 

“Of course, love.  Take your time, and have some fun while you’re at it.  There’s ice cream in the freezer - if you make sundaes, just clean up after yourselves, ok?  I’ll be in our room.”

 

Steve walked you to your room.  After the last few days, it felt foreign to not be staying with him for the night.  “Why don’t you stay here tonight? The girls are not that naive.  John and Sue live together and are there when the girls are, and it’s not a problem.  It’s up to you, though, whatever you’re comfortable with.”  You really did not mean that last part.

 

“I want to, but I think the girls should be able to speak freely tonight without me being here.”

 

What he said made sense.  It felt strange, not to have him in the room, or on the couch, but it was a good step towards what re-adjusting to life would be like.  He gave you a kiss and for the first time since Brooklyn, you planned to spend the night apart.

 

You heard a knock at the door not too long after, and you were surprised to see Bucky.  You greeted him with your usual hug and kiss on the cheek.

 

“To what do I owe this honor?  Coming back for another visit to the L and G spa?”  He smiled.  

 

“No, though they were really sweet.  I was hoping to talk to you.  Are the girls here?”  When you told him where they were, he asked if you would sit with him on the couch.

 

“When you asked the girls about moving back to Brooklyn, I thought you were crazy.  Everything Gabbi said was true - whomever was responsible for your abduction is still out there and they know where you live.  But then I heard your reason for wanting to go back, and….” he trailed off.

You were getting better at letting silence sit without filling it with meaningless words.  

 

“I was really proud of you, how brave you were, but I wanted to tell you that you’re going to need help, and I want to volunteer.”

 

You were shocked, and touched, and grateful, and confused…..”But what about the Avengers?  That’s your life, and I couldn’t ask to take you from that any more than I could ask Steve.”

 

“The Avengers may be my work, but you and Steve and the girls are my family, and family comes first.”

 

You took a deep breath, trying to avoid tears.  A thought rushed through your mind - how lucky you and your children were to have these two men in your lives - and you cupped Bucky’s cheek with your hand.  

 

“Thank you.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you.  I don’t know if I can accept, but the offer means more to me than you’ll ever know.”  He took your hand from his cheek and got up from the couch.

 

“Does Steve know that you’re willing to leave his team for this?”

 

“Yes.  I stopped at his place first, figuring you’d both be there.  We talked for awhile, and he was ok with it, for now.  He figured I could bunk with him, be like the supervisor of your detail, but he said the decision was up to you.”

 

You couldn’t imagine feeling scared if Bucky was there to protect your children.  It was them you were most concerned about and to have someone who you suspected loved your girls like an uncle or big brother, willingly abdicate his life, his home, his work for them, was overwhelming. 

 

He was leaving, with your promise to think about it, when your girls came back.  You all sat outside on the balcony, drinking hot chocolate and wrapped in blankets, watching the stars.  Eventually, they decided to share their thoughts, taking turns speaking.  Lizzy went first.

 

“Mom, we want to move back home, but we have a few things we want to say first.  First, we want to know how weird our lives are going to be.  Like, are we going to have guards protecting us at school and wherever we go? We want to be safe, and we want you to be safe, but we don’t want that.”

 

“I can’t answer that honestly, guys.  All I can say is that I will try my best to make it as non-intrusive as possible, but if we decide to do this, having protection is non-negotiable.”

 

Gabbi’s turn, “Ok.  That’s fair.  Now, next on our list.  We love our apartment, but we’d like to think about moving if we are still uncomfortable after a few months.  Maybe something bigger?”

 

“Really?  How big are we talking?”

 

Lizzy swooped in for the clincher, “Big enough for Steve to live with us.”

 

Holy shit.  Tonight was clearly a night for surprises.  First Bucky, then this.  You slowly swallowed and tried to remain calm, thankful for the darkness that hid your expression.

 

“Wow guys, that’s a pretty serious request.  Have you talked to Steve about this?”  Weird, this was the second conversation in a row where you’ve said that exact same thing.

 

“No, Mom, we wanted to talk to you about it first.”  

 

“Honestly girls, I’m blown away.  Why do you want Steve to live with us?  How do you know he would even want to?”

 

They looked at each other and laughed.  Your 16-year-old was apparently the group spokesperson.  “Mom, you still think of us as little kids that don't see how Steve looks at you and how you look at him.  You love him, don’t you?”

 

“Yes, I do.”

 

Gabbi chimed in, “You REALLY REALLY love him, don’t you?”  You had to smile.

 

“I’m not trying to give you a kids answer, but seriously, do you think I REALLY REALLY love him?”

 

Both answered at exactly the same time, “Yes.”

 

“Ahhhhhhhhh.  Well.  That’s not something I can decide.  Who knows if Steve would even want to do that, and how do you know that I want to do that?  And, by the way, why is that a condition of us moving back to Brooklyn?  Help me connect the dots here.”

 

Your left-brain thinker, Lizzy, took the reigns of the conversation back.  “Mom, it’s not a condition for us to move back, it’s a condition for you to be happy.  What is it you always tell us?  Live each day to the fullest and don’t take anything for granted.  Well, after this really bad thing that happened, we think you should start practicing what you preach.  You should be thinking about your happiness instead of always putting others, especially us, first.  You’re happiest when Steve is with you, with us.”

 

“Whoa.  Hold on a second.  Ever since Dad and I split up, you guys have been my priority.  I’ve always made sure of that.  Yes, Steve makes me REALLY REALLY happy, but I don’t want you to think that that means I would have to choose between you two and him.  That would never happen.  Ever.”

 

They both sighed and rolled their eyes, like they were explaining something to a very small child.

 

“Mom, we know that.  That’s not what we’re saying.  We’re just saying that we think moving somewhere else in Brooklyn might help us move forward, and if we do, we want Steve to be with us, if that’s what you want.”  You were amazed at their maturity and humbled by their love.  

 

You also surprised yourself when you realized you couldn't honestly say  _ what  _ you wanted.


	15. An End and a Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was time. You and your girls were returning home, for the first time since your abduction. You would miss the compound where you had recuperated and come back to real life, but you were excited to go home and start trying to live a “normal” life. Having Steve and Bucky beside you on your journey certainly made it easier, and knowing you’d have protection agents near both you and your girls, made everything better. You all had a chance to celebrate your progress and happiness before you moved back home, with an unexpected surprise from Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading! This chapter is a bit of an “in between-er” - the transition between one part of the story to another. I wanted to wrap up Steph’s time at the compound in a relatively direct way but also get her and her family back to Brooklyn. I hope I did it in a way that makes sense. Thanks, as always, to MsEnglish101 for her beta help - she is a lifesaver!

While you considered all the things you’d been asked in the last hour by Bucky and by your children, you realized it was happening - you were all going back to Brooklyn.  You were relieved when you did not have a massive, all-consuming panic attack at the thought and weren’t surprised when the first person you wanted to talk to was Steve.  Even though they were older, you always checked in on your girls when they slept, and since you were reunited with them, it became a necessity.  You kissed them both and slipped over to Steve’s suite, the next floor up.

 

Thankfully, he wasn’t asleep, and smiled when he answered the door. “What’s up? Everything ok?”   
  


“Yes, very.  Do you have a few minutes to talk?”

 

“Of course.  C’mon, let’s sit on the balcony.”

 

He gave you one of his hoodies and tucked a blanket around you while you sat out for the second time that evening.  This would probably be the creature comfort you would miss most about the compound, it was one of the only things that made your brain completely quiet.

 

“I love how you look when you’re out here.”  You just turned to him with a soft smile and leaned over to kiss him. 

 

“Bucky came by.  He told me he talked with you about what he wants to do.”

 

“Yes, and before you ask, it’s ok. Really.  Honestly, it makes me feel like I can breathe when I think about you moving back.”

 

“You should also know what the girls asked me.  They want to move back, but they also wanted to know ‘how weird’ their life would be with protection agents, and if we could move to somewhere bigger if they were still uncomfortable after a few months.”

 

“What does moving back and getting a bigger place have to do with each other?”

 

“Ahhhhh, the million-dollar question.  Get ready for this: ‘We want somewhere bigger so Steve can move in with us.’”

 

“How did you respond to that?”

 

“To say the least, I was shocked.  I asked them why they wanted you to move in with us, why it was a condition of moving back, why they thought you’d want to….”

 

“Are you serious?  Why I’d want to?  Why would you even ask that?”

 

“Hold on, let me finish.  They said it was not a condition of them moving back, they said it was to make me happy because they see how happy we are together. Gabbi asked me if I ‘really really’ loved you, and when I said yes, of course, they said they wanted me, us, to be happy.”  You looked up at the sky again, and when Steve knelt in front of you and took your face in his hands, you saw concern mixed with love.

 

“The real million dollar question is what do  _ you  _ want?”   
  


“I know without a doubt in my mind that I love you.  I also know that it would be so easy to say that I want you to live with us.  The problem is, if I said that right now, I would never know if I asked so I wouldn’t have to face being back in our apartment alone, or because it’s the next step in our relationship.  What sucks is that I think it’s the right thing, but the wrong time.”  

 

He was silent, but present.  He put his hand on the back of your neck and brought you to him, forehead to forehead.

 

“You are so strong.  In some ways, I wish you weren’t.  If you had asked, I wouldn’t have thought twice about saying yes.  I feel ashamed to admit that I am not sure I could say no, even if it wasn’t a great idea, because of my feelings for you.”  As your tears fell, he kissed them away as quickly as he could and helped you get back on track.

 

He pulled away gently but stayed close.  “When do you think you’re going back?”

 

“Well, I wasn’t sure we would get to that tonight, but I’d like to talk about it, if that’s ok.”

 

You spent the next couple of hours talking about school schedules and logistics, but most of the time focused on the protection agents - who they would be, how would it all work, and who would be responsible for managing the detail.  Steve was in his element, lighting up when he talked about the things he considered himself best at - if it wasn’t such a serious topic, you would have sat back and smiled.  When he and Bucky got together, it was a testosterone fest, but it made you feel like the people they picked would do their job, without fail.  

 

Through all of this, you repeatedly noticed Natasha hanging back from you, as well as from Steve and Bucky.  One day while both of you were grabbing coffee, you decide to go for it and ask what was going on.  She seemed surprised, since the two of you had never talked much, but you always respected how direct she was.  You appreciated direct - you didn’t have the time for, or interest in, beating around the bush.

 

“Did Steve tell you that I’ve been leading the CGS Pharmaceuticals investigation?”  You nodded - he had kept you minimally up to date but had not shared any important details as of late.

 

“I was never able to figure out how the morons who took you even knew about Erskine’s formula. Then, when we started investigating CGS, I found a bunch of ties to old-world Germany, from before Steve was even born.  Turns out the precursor to the current company staunchly supported Hitler and his predecessors.  So much so that they were forced to pay reparations to survivors.  We know that your abduction was paid for by someone with money, power, and connections, so that’s where I’m focusing my attention.  So far, we haven’t found anything, but if the intel is good, I think we will.”

 

“What does Steve have to say about all of this?”

 

“He agrees that this isn’t over, that there is likely a connection to Hydra dating back to the Red Skull, maybe before he became a super soldier, but that right now, all the rats are back in their hole, hiding.”  She must have noticed your face because she put her hand on your arm.  

 

“I wouldn’t worry.  You have the best soldiers in the world watching out for you and your girls, and CGS knows it’s being watched.  They aren’t stupid enough to try something while things are this hot.”  You thanked her, suddenly sobered by reality.  You were reassured that Steve would not have let the move home happen if it weren’t safe.  You trusted him with your life and, even more importantly, your girls’ lives.  You weren’t going to let this latest piece of information derail all the progress you’d all made.  You wanted to stay realistic but positive.  You trusted the team, Natasha included, to let you know the important stuff and filter out the rest.  You tried to focus on the future as the girls planned a big send-off celebration.

 

They wanted to have one last sleepover with the team before leaving.  They sent out e-vites, made party favors, planned the food, and waited anxiously for responses.  To your surprise, every single person who could be there was coming, even Bucky.  The night of the party, you were getting ready to enjoy the result of their hard work when Steve knocked on your bedroom door with a hang-dog look on his face.

 

“Hey, what’s the matter?  Why aren’t you ready for the party?”

 

“I wasn’t invited.”

 

You burst out laughing.  “Steve, come on, of course you’re invited.  I’m sure the girls just assumed we were coming.  I didn’t receive an invitation either, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to miss it.”

 

He actually looked relieved.  Your heart melted.  This man, known all over the world, was worried that his girlfriend’s daughters did not invite him to a sleepover with his friends.  You couldn’t help but kiss him.  You both made your way to the game room to start the fun when your daughters stopped you at the door.  

 

“Mom, I thought you knew this party was so we could hang out with everybody.  You and Steve aren’t supposed to be here!”

 

“Hold up.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t Steve and I included in “everybody?”

 

They sighed, shifting their tone of voice to better suit a tantruming two-year-old.  

 

“Yes, of course, but we thought Steve’s plan sounded better.”

 

“Steve’s plan?  What?”  You looked at him and saw that shit-eating grin that you knew would become infuriating in the future if it wasn’t so endearing.

 

They both hugged and kissed you as Wanda took your arm and walked you back to your room.  You certainly wanted to ask a million questions but knew that you’d be shushed, so you didn’t. 

 

“Smart move.”  You always forgot she could read thoughts.

 

Apparently, Steve had recruited her to help you get ready.  He thought of everything, including clothes.  When she was done, it was hard to believe you were the same person - not obviously or overly made up, but polished, even sparkling a bit.  Wanda watched your face as you opened the garment bag in your closet and saw the same style dress you bought for Steve’s birthday - a 40’s style maxi with cap sleeves and plunging v-neckline, along with matching flats.  The only difference was that this one was blue.  It was breathtaking.  

 

Wanda waited in the living room while you got dressed.  You heard a knock at your door, and Steve’s voice as she let him in.  Your stomach flip-flopped just like it did the very first night you kissed and many times since then.   She spoke through the door.  “Your suitor is here, if you’re ready.”

 

You took one more look in the mirror, fussed at your dress and marveled at Wanda’s work before breathing deeply, telling yourself to enjoy the night and let him lead, then opening the door to the living room.  Steve stood up when he saw you and almost dropped the flowers he held.  

 

“Wow.  You look even more beautiful than I imagined.” He handed you the flowers and kissed your cheek.  He looked very handsome in black pants, a dress shirt and dinner jacket.

You felt yourself blush.  “Thank you. You look wonderful, too.  Everything is perfect but to give credit where it’s due, Wanda is the reason my face and hair look like this.”  You turned towards her and hugged her, giving her a kiss and expressing your thanks.  “Wanda, you are a magician.  Thank you.” Steve hadn’t taken his eyes off you.

 

“Are you ready?  We’ve got reservations.”  You eagerly took his offered arm and accompanied him to the elevator.  You were firmly committed to keeping your questions and smart-ass comments to yourself - he had worked too hard to make this perfect for you to ruin it.  You just smiled and leaned your head against his shoulder while holding his arm.  

 

The sun had set hours before, so you were surprised when he put his jacket over your shoulders and led you outside by the hand.  You were thankful you wore flats as it was hard to see where to walk, and you did not want your notoriously awful balance to make an appearance.  As you kept walking, you started to wonder what was up but didn’t say anything. 

 

“Just a bit more, I promise, we’re almost there.”  

 

Even in the dark you knew this was not an area of the compound you were familiar with, but when he stopped, you were in front of a picture perfect cabin.  A few lights were on and as you stepped onto the front porch, Bucky was walking out the door, wiping soot off his hands.  He stopped and took your hand as he left. 

 

“Doll, you look gorgeous.  This punk is one lucky stiff.”

 

“Thank you, Bucky, for everything.”  You let go of Steve and kissed Bucky’s cheek while you hugged him.

 

“You’re welcome.  Well, I’m heading back to the ‘super fun’ slumber party.” He sighed. “I’ve come to learn that your daughters’ definition of fun and mine are very different.”  The two of you could not help but laugh as he shrugged, smiled, and took his leave.

 

“Steve, this place is perfect!  We’re not kicking someone out of their home in order to be here, are we?”

 

“Do you always think about other people first?”   He kissed you, pulling you close. “No, we’re not kicking someone out of their home, because it’s mine.  Well, actually, it’s ours.”

 

“What do you mean, ours?”

 

“I bought it for us, two days ago.”  

 

Your jaw dropped.  “How could you buy a house?  You’ve been with me almost non-stop, and you certainly haven’t been gone long enough for a closing or walk-throughs or anything.”

He smiled.  “Stop being a detective, for once. When Tony Stark is your boss, the lawyers come to you. Wanna see it?”

 

“Cute” wouldn’t be a word most people used to describe Captain America but while showing you around, he was all of that and more.  He pulled you from room to room, and though they were mostly empty, the view of the forest and the nearby stream was breathtaking.  He explained that the property was just over the compound’s property line, so it really belonged to him, with no messy overlap with the Avengers.

 

He was practically jumping up and down when you got to the master bedroom and asked you to close your eyes before leading you in. 

 

The room was furnished.  It had a beautiful king-sized bed with night tables and lamps on either side, club chairs that looked incredibly comfortable, a dresser and vanity, even a closet and its own bathroom, but nothing compared to the most incredible part - the skylights over the bed.  These were no ordinary small window openings, but four large panes of glass, each with its own push-button activated shade that, when open, had a direct view of a pristine swath of sky.  You turned off all the lights, sat on the bed, and leaned back.  You were enraptured.  Steve laid down beside you, looking up.  He laced his hand through yours. “This is why I bought this, so you know that you always had a place to regroup, to find peace, to find whatever it is you need.”

 

“You are the sweetest man in the world, you know that?  The house is gorgeous - I feel like I could stay here forever.”  You kissed him then laughed as his stomach growled.

 

“Come on, let’s eat.  I asked Bucky to bring the food when he came to build the fire.”

 

Dinner was delicious.  You ate in front of the hearth and laid your head on his lap while he told you about his plans for the house.  You reached your hand up to pull him down to your lips.  “I love this house.  It’s perfect.  Thank you for sharing it with me.” 

 

He stood up and helped you to your feet, and held both your hands in his.  “Would you dance with me? I’ve been wanting to ask you for a very long time, ever since my birthday, actually.”  He scrolled through his phone and you were giddy when “Say You Won’t Let Go” came on - it was one of your favorites.  As he held you and listened to you softly sing along, he kissed your neck.  “I love it when you sing, it’s so beautiful.”

 

Before the song ended, he had his arms around your back and was pulling down the zipper on your dress.  You took his hand and led him upstairs to the bedroom, where you removed his pants before you kneeled at the edge of the bed and started massaging and kissing up his thighs.  You snaked your hands under his very tented boxers, walking your fingers up to firmly grasp him.  You loved the noises he made and the absolutely filthy language he used as you teased him.  He tried to get up, but you asked him to stay where he was.  He propped himself up on his elbows and watched you hungrily as you slipped off your dress and let it fall to the floor.  You kept your underthings on, much to his surprise, and crawled up his body, kissing him while he tried to take off your bra.

 

“Uh-uh, not yet.  You have to be patient, Captain.”  You gave him your best imitation of his shit-eating grin and kissed his nose as you unbuttoned his shirt and pulled him up to a sitting position.  You pushed off his jacket and the rest soon followed.  He took the opportunity to wrap his arms around your waist and bury his head in your breasts, nuzzling and nipping you through your bra.  He knew exactly what he was doing, but so did you.  He let you push him back with a little pout and you laid down on top of him, kissing his earlobes and his neck before reaching his chest.  You ran your fingers lightly over his muscles, still amazed that he was yours.  He closed his eyes and breathed deeply as you moved down to his abs then to his boxers, which were soaked through and straining.  He squirmed and grabbed for you as you purposely rubbed the lace fabric of your bra and undies across his skin. 

 

“Steph, please.  I don’t think I can wait much longer.”  

 

He looked so pitiful that you pulled him up to sitting again and whispered in his ear that he could take over.  His first move was to remove everything you had on, and to finally release himself from his boxers.  He kissed you and quickly rolled you under him, feeling between your legs.  He kissed your neck and as you sighed, he told you how hot you were, how crazy you made him, how much he loved how wet you were for him and only him.  As he slipped the condom on and entered you, you were strangely proud that he no longer had to prepare you, that he knew you could take all of him in without pain.  In fact, it was far from pain - when he filled you it was a heavenly feeling beyond words.  As you moved your leg up he knew what you wanted, to have him as deep inside you as physically possible.  He laid on top of you and let you wrap your legs around him, pulling him in over and over again.  You felt like your entire body was electrified, and you could not stop yourself from being as loud as possible. 

 

“That’s it, baby, let everything go, come for me.”  Hearing that and feeling him move inside you was all you needed to see brilliant flashes of white light go off in front of your eyes while he pulled you to him and came deep inside you.  You both smiled as he rolled on his back and kept you on top of him.  You loved this - the intimacy after - laying on his chest, kissing him, giggling when he tickled you.  You sighed deeply, completely undone.   You rolled off of him and promptly fell fast asleep, his arm over your tummy and his face buried in your hair.  When you woke up a few hours later, it took you a moment to orient yourself, but all you had to do was look up to the pristine night sky visible through the skylights and use the moonlight to find your way around.  

 

You weren’t sure what time it was, but you wanted to check if the fire was still going.  You put one of his t-shirts over your underwear and quietly slipped downstairs.  The blankets and dinner basket were still in front of the hearth, the fire down to tiny flames.  You threw another log on it, poked it a bit to get it going, and wrapped yourself up in the blankets to watch it.  You took a nearby pillow, laid down, and promptly fell asleep.  The sun through the windows woke you, and you could only smile when you found Steve laying next to you and several more logs on the fire.  You turned over and snuggled into his chest, a huge smile on your face.  He kissed the top of your head, held you tighter, and shushed you back to sleep.

 

When you woke up again and stretched, Steve wrapped his arms tighter around you, eyes closed but smiling.  He was very interested in continuing where you left off last night, but you had other things on your mind.  While you got dressed, killed the fire, and cleaned up, you fended off at least three romantic overtures in an attempt to derail your return to the compound.  By the time you walked back, you were starving. 

 

Your children were surly when you woke them, but after reminding them that today was moving day and their favorite breakfast was waiting, they perked up.  Even though you didn’t wake the adults, they started arriving soon after you finished cooking.   You were starting to feel excited, particularly since receiving a volley of texts from Maria, Jen, and Ally.  It had been too long since you’d seen them.

 

**Jen:** You’re still coming home today, right?

**Maria:** She better be.  I’ll have to kick Captain America’s ass if she doesn’t.

**Ally:**  I would pay to see that fight.  

**Steph:**  Yes!  Today’s the day!  We’re eating now, but then we should be home in a few hours.

**Maria:** Can we come over tonight?

**Steph:** Well, I don’t know.  I know you guys cleaned up for me, and I am so grateful, but I don’t know how I’ll be.

**Ally:** Steph, we really want to be there.  Not only do we miss you like crazy, we want to be there for you.

**Maria:** She’s right Steph.  Please let us come over and hug you and see how great you look after a summer away with a super hot boyfriend.  :)

**Jen:** steph, she’s right.  Well, both of them are.

**Steph:**  Ok, well then, I guess I don’t have much of a choice.  I’ll send you my WAZE so you’ll know when we’ll be arriving and you can show up any time, ok?

**Maria:** Thanks love.  I can’t wait to see you.

**Jen:** Ditto

**Ally:** Double ditto.  We love you.

**Steph:** :) Thanks for helping me get excited guys.  I love you.

 

Not surprisingly, you were emotional when you said your goodbyes, even to Natasha.  You felt like there was so much to say, but you didn’t want to embarrass your friends, your kids, or yourself, by crying.  By the time you got on the road, you and Steve in one car and Bucky driving the girls in another, you had settled.  You even fell asleep until you were just about home.  

 

Bucky had been back several times in the last few weeks, coordinating between your security detail and the building management so that everything would be ready to go as soon as you arrived.  You truly felt safe, but you still held each girl’s hand as you rode up the elevator and approached your door as you always had.  Bucky handed you each a new set of keys, and when you opened the door you were knocked back by the screaming trio of your best friends, all trying to hug you and the girls while completely ignoring the two hulking figures behind you.

 

When you pulled away, you were amazed.  Your apartment was completely redecorated - new paint, rugs, and curtains, the furniture was rearranged, and the place was absolutely spotless - even the fridge and cupboards were full.  The girls pulled your hands and checked everything out, noticing that the bedrooms and bathroom had also been updated.  All three women were smiling and tearing up as you started to cry.  These women had made this place new, given you a fresh start, a gift that you could never repay.  You walked up to them and put your head together with theirs.  

 

“Thank you is not enough, but thank you for this.”  They were silent, which made you all laugh after a minute.  Bucky and Steve looked bewildered.  Women.  

 

You felt grateful, but definitely awkward, particularly with everyone’s eyes on you, so you took a tour of the entire place, and continued to be in awe of all the work your best friends had done.  You were so touched when you realized that they had to have been in touch with Steve and/or Bucky in order to get in and get the work done, and neither man had dropped a single hint.  You and the girls were blown away by the love these people gave you.  You knew you could never repay them, that they wouldn’t want that, but the least you could do was feed them.  

 

When you and Steve left to get pizza at Tony’s, you were slightly startled when the two agents followed.  When Steve first mentioned protection, you thought the agents might look like the guys from The Matrix - sunglasses, matching suits, and the little wire thingy on their ears, but of course they didn’t - they just looked like normal people.  Only you and Steve noticed that they were constantly scanning the environment and that they walked into places before you did.  Oh, and they all had bulges in their waistbands from the guns they carried.  You suspected this was the first of many times you would resent reality’s jarring intrusion in your life.

 

The night ended with plans and promises made, thanks given, a few more tears, and the triumphant return of your girls’ true natures, as they excused themselves to watch TV and chat up their friends.  Bucky and Steve were huddled up about something while you kissed and hugged each of your friends.

 

“I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow.”

Maria took charge. “Bet your ass you will.  We’re going into Momma Bear mode on you.” 

 

You smiled.  “Thanks.  I promise, we’ll catch up on everything.”

 

When you closed the door and turned, your heart swelled to see the two men sipping their beers and relaxing, like this was a normal night.  You sat down near Steve and stuck your feet under his legs, taking a sip of his beer that he offered.  You remembered too late that you didn’t like beer as both guys laughed at the face you made.

 

“So, Maria’s pretty mad at me, huh?”  You were shocked at both Steve’s insight and his timing, but he was right.

 

“Yeah.  She hasn’t said too much about it, but she is.  She blames you for what happened.  She knows you saved me, she knows how much we love each other, but….”

 

“....but she doesn’t trust that something else won’t happen.”

 

“I can’t confirm or deny that, but it sounds pretty accurate.  I’m going to talk with her.”

 

“Why are you going to talk to her?  You don’t need to be the go-between, Steph.”

 

For the first time in awhile, you got irritated.  You put your feet on the floor and stood up to recycle their empties.  “I guess I was going to talk to her because she’s one of my best friends and she’s angry at the man I love and scared about her best friend’s safety.”  There was no mistaking the change in your voice.  Bucky took it as his cue to awkwardly excuse himself and run for cover next door.

 

He turned around and talked to your back while you stood at the sink.  “Steph, I realize that, but I would like to talk to her.  You don’t have to fix this.  She’s right, it was my fault it happened.”  He got up and walked to you as you turned around.

 

“NO! That’s not right….” He took hold of your shoulders and fixed his eyes on you.  He spoke slowly and with precision.

 

“Yes, it is.  It’s a fact that they took you because they wanted something from me.  Your relationship with me is the only reason this happened.  If you were with a normal guy, you would not have been in danger.”

 

“But it wasn’t your fault!”

 

He smiled at you and kissed your forehead. “I know you don’t blame me, and I love you for it, but the truth of the matter is, I blame myself.  I own that the burden should be squarely on my shoulders.  When I got you back, the only thing I could think of was how to keep you safe, how to stop this from ever happening again. I even went so far as to consider getting the hell out of your life, but I couldn’t.”

 

Now you were really mad.  You tried keeping your voice down so as not to worry the girls, but it was hard. “What do you mean, get out of my life? What the hell are you talking about? You were going to break up with me?”

 

His dejected expression broke your heart. “I thought it was the only way to keep you safe.  When I saw you at the safe house, I resolved to never put you in danger again.  I figured the only way to do that was to take myself and the Avengers out of the equation.”

 

You were angrier than you’d been in a long time, certainly since you were taken.  Deb had warned you this might happen once you felt truly safe again.  “So, you decided to end it, huh?  What stopped you?”

 

“You.”

 

“Okay, that makes no fucking sense, Steve.  You wanted to end it with me to keep me safe, but then didn’t end it because of me. Help me understand why I suddenly feel like I can’t trust myself, or us, anymore.”

 

“When I tried to even think about ending things, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think.  I couldn’t send you away and never see you again because I love you so goddamn much that I acted selfishly instead of doing what was best for you.”  He hung his head and you paused as your anger changed into something else.

 

“Are you still thinking about ending it?”  You tipped his chin up and searched his face for an answer.

 

“No.  Dr. Mansfield helped me see how turned around I was.  Once I saw how strong you were, how invested you were in getting better, and how incredible it was that you never once blamed me, I knew I couldn’t picture my life without you, nor did I want to.  She helped me realize what I already knew deep down, that you are undoubtedly the strongest person I know and letting you go wasn’t the answer, but helping us both get better and learn to trust life again was.”

 

Though what he said was endearing and warm, you were shaken, and he knew it. He went to hug you and you tentatively returned it.  “I’m sorry.  I never meant to hurt you, certainly not tonight. I don’t even know how we got here.”  

 

“We got here because we’re both scared.  We got here because we don’t know what’s going to happen and Maria just happens to be the one adult brave enough to talk about it.  She put a name on something we’ve both been too afraid to talk about, and you are too decent, too good, to let that go.  You were doing you - you were honest with me, I just think it cut to the part of me that’s the most insecure, the part that worries you’ll leave me.”

 

He looked at you, eyebrows lifted and a small smile on his face.  You put your heads together.

 

“How did you get so smart, huh?”

 

“I grew up in New England.” You had to laugh at his incredulous expression.

 

He took your hands and brought you over to the couch.  He kissed the top of your head and held you tight while whispering apologies and declarations of love. You closed your eyes and breathed him in, both his smell and his words. You felt your fear-fueled anger leach away.  A moment later, he handed you a small box.  

 

“What’s this for? Even a superhero couldn’t get a make-up gift this fast.”

 

“Think of it as a welcome home present.”   

 

You opened the box and, as you pulled out the gift, you gasped. “How did you know?”

 

“How did I know that the necklace my best girl wore every single day was missing? I looked at you.”

 

The small heart cutout that fit in the dog tag you’d given him for his birthday had been lost the day you were taken.  Each time you thought of it, you felt raw and burnt inside, so you’d never spoken of it. Its replacement was now in your hand, with the exquisite addition of tiny sapphires and diamonds.  You didn’t know what touched you more - the beautiful gift or the fact that he noticed it was missing and replaced it all on his own. 

 

“Do you know why I love you?”

 

He pulled his head back to look at you.  “I think so, but I’d love to hear your side of the story.”

  
“I love you because you are a good and decent man, Steven Rogers - my definition of what a man should be.  You do what’s right, even when it’s hard; you love so deeply that it feels unreal.  You are loyal, kind, and one of the smartest men I’ve ever met.  You are also incredibly handsome and an amazing partner, in every way that the word can be interpreted.  It’s my turn to tell you that my heart is yours for as long as  _ you _ want it.”  He kissed you long and slow and perfectly.  You felt real relief that you hoped would last, 


	16. The Big One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life continues with bumps in the road, but you get over them (or at least go around them). You talked out the problems between Maria and Steve, you finally spilled the entire story of your breakup with John, and you took a big step to conquering a really big fear you still had, even all those months after your abduction. You always knew, that no matter what happened, you had some really amazing people in your life to support you and carry you through, and they came through with flying colors when you needed them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost, MsEnglish101 is my lifeline to becoming a better writer. She is such a great beta, and she has, without a doubt, improved the reading experience for all of you. Follow her - she is an awesome writer in her own right! Next, this chapter was another one that just flowed (gotta admit, I kind of love that!), and it felt really good. I always appreciate the time it takes for you to leave kudos and comments, so please let me know what you think. Enjoy!!!

You had a coffee date with Maria.  You were not looking forward to it, which made you feel off kilter and wrong inside.  You suspected a showdown was inevitable and though conflict was not your idea of a good time, Maria thrived on it.  Steve had asked if he should come to straighten things out first hand, but you knew his presence would only exacerbate the problem.  For this go round, you wanted it to just be you and her hashing it out.  You knew that despite her relief at your safe return, she was pissed at Steve and generally bewildered why you didn’t feel the same way.  You took a deep breath when you walked into the coffee shop, saying a silent prayer that she knew how important both she and Steve were in your life.  You gave her a long and hard hug when she arrived, noticing that she was just as edgy as you felt.   

 

You needed to jump in with both feet.  “I don’t want to put this off with chit chat.  We need to talk.”

 

“About Steve, right?”  She raised an eyebrow and gave you a tiny, sad smile.

 

“Yes.  I’ve felt anxious all day, just knowing we had to talk about it.  I hate that.”

 

“Me, too.  So, let’s get to it.”  She grabbed your hand and looked you straight in the eye.  She told you how angry she had been with Steve since you were taken.  She placed all the blame at his feet, pointing out that if he wasn’t in your life, she was 100% certain this would not have happened.  She ended with the piece de resistance - that even now, after your return to Brooklyn, she was not convinced you should stay together.  Her eyes were sparking - she never wavered, never backed down from her perspective, and you never doubted that it came from a place of love and loyalty.  So many times she had supported you with that same strength, it was hard to fault her for it now.

 

“Thank you for telling me and thank you for loving me.”

 

She knew me so well.  “But?”

 

You had to snicker, “You know what the ‘but’ is.  Maria, I love him.  I love him with all my heart and soul and mind and body.  You’ve known me for a long time - you knew me when I was married, when I was going through the divorce, and all the stuff that came after, including this latest shit show.  You’ve seen me in relationships, listened to me bitch and moan about finding a guy who loved this body and what lay beneath it, who didn’t get spooked by emotion or kids that weren’t his.  Steve is all those things and more.”

 

As she started to respond, you gently placed your hand over hers. “I was more scared during those 5 days than I’ve ever been in my life, mostly because I thought I might never see any of my loved ones again, you included.  I knew one thing without hesitation, though.  I knew Steve would do absolutely everything in his power to save me, or die trying.  I knew he would not stop until I was home.”

 

Maria did not readily cry.  She got quiet and she got angry, but she rarely cried.  Today, the tears silently fell while you held her hands.  “Steph, I was so scared that you weren’t coming back.  I know you love him like you say you do, and in an ironic plot twist, I am so happy for you, but how do I get over this feeling?  How do I trust him with my best friend’s life?”

 

“You’re going to be really pissed with my answer, because it’s not the cut-and-dry solution you want.  The night we came home, after you left, he called you out - he knew how you felt, and took the blame for everything.  He told me that after I was back, he vowed to keep me safe, and the only way he could figure out how to do that was to break up with me, to take him and the Avengers out of my world.”  

 

She looked at you quizzically, “Why didn’t he?”

 

“He said our therapist helped him see that the problem was not solved by exiting my life, but by doing everything he could to trust himself, and the strength of our relationship, again.  You know, he wanted to come today to talk to you, but I told him he might not come back alive, so he should let me be the first line of defense.”  You both laughed through the tears.    

 

“They didn’t catch the guys, though, right?  How are you okay with him letting you go back to the place where it all happened?!?!”

 

“Maria.  Look at me.  Do you think I would ‘let’ someone,  _ anyone _ , tell me how the girls and I should live?  Do you think he controls me?”  She shook her head.  “That’s right,  _ I _ am the one who wanted to try and re-enter life.  Steve and Bucky both wanted me and the girls to stay at the compound permanently, but I am the one who wanted to see if we could make a go of this.  We all know that more is coming.  We know this isn’t over, but I made a choice - to live my life to the best of my ability with Steve, with the girls, with you guys, without being paralyzed by fear.  Do you think you could try to trust  _ me _ ? Try to trust that I make these decisions carefully?”  She was full-on crying now, with laughter mixed in as her nose ran.  You hugged her and put your heads together.  

 

“You know, it’s not as easy as saying it, but I will try.  I promise.”

 

“That’s all I can ask.  How would you feel about grabbing some dinner with me?  I want to hear everything you’ve been up to that has nothing to do with this chapter of our lives.  I want to hear who picked out and redesigned the apartment, who did the work - everything.  We can grab Ally and Jen if they’re available - how would you feel about that?”

 

This wasn’t a fairy tale - Maria was going to have to work very hard to come around, but you knew she never broke a promise.  You knew she would try to trust Steve again, if only for your sake.  You texted Steve and the girls and told them to eat dinner without you because you were going to spend some more time with your friends.

 

**Steve:** Everything ok?  I didn’t see a mushroom cloud, so I am guessing you guys had a good talk?

**Steph:** Things are ok.  We’re going to work on getting better, together.  I’ll talk to you tonight when I get home.  Love you guys.

 

Life slowly but surely shifted to a new normal.  The girls started school, and the switch to being protected kids was relatively smooth, thanks to a tremendous amount of effort from Bucky and troubleshooting from Steve.  You were okay but nervous, had occasional nightmares, and were, at times, paranoid - particularly in new situations.  Thankfully, Deb was still in your life, and you relied on her to help you keep making progress.  She was the one you talked to most often about Steve, about your feelings for him, and about the future.  She was the one you talked to about the weirdest side-effect of your trauma - that you were scared as hell about returning to work.     
  


Your professional life had always been a huge part of your identity.  You liked what you did, and you were good at it; but now, the thought of moving about the city, cabbing it from building to building and navigating alone made you panic (even with the agents).  Each time you tried to return work-related phone calls or emails, you froze and found it almost impossible to take a step forward.  Steve tried to help, even offering to go with you the first few times, but that wasn’t the kind of help you wanted.  Honestly, you didn’t know what you wanted, didn’t know what would make this better.  The days when this was your main train of thought almost always meant a nightmare once you fell asleep.  

 

One night when the girls were at friends’ houses, you encouraged Steve and Bucky to go to a basketball game with Maria and Jen’s husbands and grab dinner afterwards.  None of you had done much fun stuff lately, and you wanted some time alone in your apartment.  All of you were secure in the knowledge that the agents were outside if you needed them.  You took a hot shower, ordered pizza, and settled in to watch the latest Chris Evans movie that had you smiling and swooning.   You dozed off, and made yourself get up and get to bed, knowing that Steve was going to crash at his place when he got home late. 

 

The nightmare was different this time; you saw the faces of the men who took you, the men who were more than willing to kill you.  You were trying to hide the girls from them, but both clung to you, and you were found.  As they ripped the girls out of your arms, you started to scream in your dream, but apparently, the screams weren’t only in your head.  All of a sudden Bucky was there in your room, ahead of the agents, guns drawn.  As soon as they realized you were alone and having a nightmare, Bucky holstered his weapon and climbed on the bed, sitting you up and rocking you, kissing your forehead and shushing you while you slowly returned to consciousness with a gasp.  You grabbed his metal arm that was around your shoulders and cried, then sobbed, feeling absolutely petrified.  He tried to get up to get you some water but you wouldn’t let him.  

 

“Please, Bucky, don’t leave.  Please stay.  I’m so scared.”

 

“Sure, doll.  Let me just call Steve, okay? He went out to dinner with the guys after the game, but I know he’d want to be here.”

 

“No, don’t call him, I want him to have fun for once, not be chained to me, my problems. Please, Bucky, please don’t call him.”  You were sure Bucky had particular insight into what you were feeling.  It was not that long ago that he was plagued by nightmares of a different variety, where he was the villain.

“Okay, Steph, okay.  I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.  You’re okay, you’re safe, the girls are safe, you are at home.  Just breathe, doll, just breathe with me.”

 

That was the worst night you’d had in a long time, and although you might not be able to end the nightmares, you wanted to get to the bottom of their cause.  After talking it over with Deb, Steve, and Bucky, you decided you had to face whatever it was you were afraid of, or be a prisoner to it forever.  You were so grateful (and a bit suspicious) when Maria’s brother Sam called and offered you a very part-time consulting gig.  It was perfect - a small school in a beautiful area of Brooklyn, and a good way to ease back into doing what you loved.  After a few rough nights and anxious days, the flow of the work lulled you in, and as you focused on it, you lost sight of the big bad that had settled in your heart.  You knew you weren’t ready to go back to a full-time workload, but this little job led to a few more that allowed you to dip your toe back into  _ your _ life and feel productive, to feel alive and normal again.  It seemed like normalcy was a rare commodity these days.

 

As much as your new normal revolved around the safety and security of your family, you knew the world outside still turned.  John and Sue had announced their wedding date, and the plans were in full swing.  Both girls were bridesmaids, so dress fittings and emailing with your ex and his fiancee became daily occurrences.  In some small way, you were grateful - it took your mind off less productive thoughts.

 

One night when John and Sue had come over for dinner to check in with everyone, talk naturally turned to the wedding.  The girls were going to spend an extra night with them that weekend, as they had dress fittings.  As they were leaving, you stood in their bedroom doorways and ticked off all the things they needed to pack for the fitting and for the rest of their stay.  John was distracted by something Steve said, and when you had to ask him three times about Lizzy’s medication, you got snippy.  

 

“You know, it would be nice if I didn’t have to remember absolutely everything for these two.”

 

John sighed. “Sorry.  Okay.”  Steve looked at you sideways.

 

You let out a defeated sigh and asked the girls to give you a rundown of what they needed, what they had, and if they were missing anything.  As always, everything got packed eventually, and you kissed them before bidding them and your guests a good night.   When Steve returned from walking them to the elevator, you were still irritated.

 

“I don’t know that I’ve ever seen you like that with him.”

 

You laughed, “That’s because we’re not married anymore.  He’s a really great guy, but that’s a mild version of how we were the last few years of our marriage.”

 

“How come you never told me what exactly happened between the two of you?” He wrapped his arms around your waist.

 

“Well, I’ve told you  _ some _ things.  I wasn’t trying to be evasive, I don’t have anything to hide, but it just never seemed like the right time to get into the nitty gritty of it.  Plus, the story depresses the hell out of me, even now.”

 

He kissed you, which softened your irritation.  You laid your head on his chest.  “You really want to know the gory details?”

 

“Yup.  Every single one.  Then I’m going to treat you to dessert.”  The thought of something chocolate, gooey, or both was definitely enough of an incentive to spill the whole boring story.

 

“Once upon a time, there was a girl from New England and a boy from California.”  Steve smiled as you continued.  “The girl had just gotten her master’s degree and the boy was looking for work on the east coast as an electrical engineer.  They started talking online and found they had quite a few things in common.  The girl was afraid the boy wouldn’t like her because of her weight and shape, but after a month or so he convinced her to meet him halfway between her home and his.  When they met, the boy was as attentive and complimentary as he could be, and the girl was very flattered.  They talked for hours about lots of things, and she found him cute, polite, and funny.  After a goodbye hug and a long drive back home, he texted and called her, sent her flowers, and generally made her feel like no one ever had - like a sexy, desirable woman.

 

“They started racking up some serious miles as they continued to meet each other halfway between Boston and Brooklyn.  They had even started visiting each other’s homes.  The boy met the girl’s family and friends and the girl met his family when they visited him in Brooklyn.  Each time they went back home, it was harder to be apart.  He was the first person she’d ever slept with, and he was a caring and patient man who never made her feel bad about herself.  In fact, it was quite the opposite.  He seemed to relish everything about her that she had been scorned for in the past, and she fell head over heels in love with him.  When she started researching a second master’s degree, he asked her to consider looking in and around Brooklyn.  She couldn’t have been happier.”

 

“What did your parents think of him?”

 

“He was so laid back that it took them awhile to figure him out, but eventually they understood how much we loved each other and warmed up.”

 

“Okay, so continue.  This is a good story.”  You had to laugh.  

 

“When I was accepted into the grad program at Brooklyn College, we moved in together.  That did not go over well with my mother, but she got over it eventually.  At first it was heady - all sex, all the time, all romantic weekends and love.  I had never experienced anything like it before, and it was intoxicating.  Between school and my love life, I was over the moon.  Eventually, real life entered the picture - friction over money, family, and dirty socks.”  Steve laughed.

 

“You laugh, but the difference in our definitions of how to maintain a shared living space was a major source of conflict for awhile, at least from my end.  After a couple of ‘breaks,’ we were able to talk about and make compromises about stuff like that.  Things were pretty good.

 

“After two years together, I graduated.  It was time to find a real job, and I had plenty of opportunities available.  I was waiting for him to say something about us, about our future, but he never brought it up or said anything meaningful.  I got pissed and resentful and, instead of talking to him about it, I accepted a job back home near Boston and planned to move back.  He was stunned but didn’t say much, and even more hurtful than that, he didn’t try to persuade me to stay.  I was heartbroken and spent the next month and some crying my eyes out while moving back home.  I found an apartment and started my new job.  I thought that was it.

 

“Turns out, it wasn’t.  Turns out that this man I was still deeply in love with had a massive problem talking about difficult things.  He preferred to say nothing over talking things out.  One weekend he drove all the way to my parent’s house and asked them for my address.  They called me and I came by and we talked for hours.  He told me he was an idiot, that he was wrong for letting me go, that he missed me so much and that he loved me.  He asked me for another chance and, given the feelings that were still there, I agreed, but I had signed a contract for a year at a school back home.  I enjoyed the job and didn’t want to leave before it was over.  So, it was back to the long distance thing except now, he drove every weekend to Boston to see me.  He was a different man, all romantic and thoughtful and attentive in ways he had never been before.  When the year was over he asked me to marry him.  I agreed and moved, yet again, to Brooklyn where he was now a partner in an engineering firm.  

 

“We got married and soon after, I was pregnant.  My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage and he was so supportive and loving - we couldn’t let it derail our plans for a family.  Another year after, I got pregnant again, but this time it was wonderful and easy.  When Lizzy was born, I changed.  I was wildly, deeply, in love with my baby, but things that weren’t important to me before became all-consuming.  I was hyper sensitive and overly critical.  I know now I had postpartum depression - Lizzy never slept and I was home alone with her all day, every day, while John went to work.  When he’d get home I was like a very angry animal that had been let out of its cage and was ready to pounce.   I was horrible to be around, and he was the brunt of all my madness.  I thought for sure he was going to leave me, but he stuck around, helped me get with a therapist and start taking medication.  Things got a lot better from there.”  You looked around and realized it was getting late.

 

“Geez, this feels like a long story; sorry.  Want me to stop?”  He shook his head and gestured for you to continue.  You got up and stretched a bit, taking a deep breath.

 

“I had another miscarriage 2 years later, then when Lizzy was 3, I got pregnant with Gabbi.  Now I was off meds because of the pregnancy, and I started to fall into the same old cycle of horrid verbal abuse, except now Lizzy was old enough to understand some of it, so I worked really hard with my therapist to get that under control.  Once life with two kids and parents each with full-time jobs became the reality, I felt like I was drowning.  I started to realize that I was the default parent, as most women are.  I had to keep track of everything, for everyone.  John has massive ADHD, which meant I was the planning and organizing brain for 4 people all while doing very mentally demanding work.  

 

We stopped having sex.  I cried a lot and I asked him for help a lot.  He tried, but nothing made me feel any different.  We saw a marriage counselor and we both gave it our all, but I realized that the man I fell in love with was unable or unwilling to change or to help me in the way I needed it.  When I told him I wanted a trial separation, he freaked out.  He had no idea why, no understanding of the fact that I needed help in ways that were different than what he could give - I needed someone to anticipate the needs of our lives, to be proactive and see what needed to be done with the girls, with the house, with anything, and actually follow through and do it.  I wanted someone who would automatically support me, both physically and emotionally, and recognize that the negative ‘little things’ that happened, when added up, made one big clump of anger and resentment in my heart.  That clump crowded out the love I once had.”

 

“So if he freaked out, what did you do?”

 

“What I shouldn’t have.  I second guessed myself and stayed.  I thought that I was a selfish, unforgiving, Type A bitch who had no compassion or flexibility, rather than admitting that I wasn’t the only one responsible for the happiness and stability of our family.  When we went to marriage counseling, both of us had the best of intentions, and things would change for a little while, but since he was never able to be consistent and follow through with things, none of the changes stuck. I was far from blameless - I am very comfortable with the martyr routine and using my particular brand of sarcasm as a weapon.  He hated both and things got quite toxic.  Looking back, I don’t blame him.  He could never muster up enough energy or motivation to be truly engaged in our lives like he was at work, and he didn’t realize that we just weren’t right for each other anymore.  Our therapist broke the news to us and I felt like a ton of bricks had been thrown off my shoulders when he finally agreed to the divorce.”

 

“How did the girls take it?”

 

“Hard, as expected.  John is an amazing Dad.  He’s fun, he’s the one that would take them to the movies, buy them candy, watch cartoons with them, and never really follow through with consequences - all the things I couldn’t do if I wanted to raise good kids.”  

 

“Well, you succeeded there.”

 

“Thanks.  Once the divorce was finalized, things actually got a lot better between us.  We were much better friends and parenting partners than husband and wife.  We figured out that we could still love and appreciate the best things about each other when we weren’t in the middle of the day-to-day stress inherent in living together, being married, and raising kids.  Don’t get me wrong, we got irritated with each other, and still do, but it didn’t turn into Armageddon because we had space from each other.  We were honestly committed to making this life work in a positive way for us and the girls.  I agreed to stay in Brooklyn and have primary custody of the girls.  He loved having them on weekends when he could supervise and have fun with them without needing to keep track of every minute detail, and I loved having my weekends to decompress from a week with nothing but taking care of those details.  We all attended family and individual counseling and learned how to be a different kind of respectful and loving family unit.  I am so grateful it worked, because that’s where we are now.”

 

“Ta Da!!!!!!!  And they all lived happily ever after.”

 

Steve sat and processed the long story you’d just told him, taking the occasional drag on his beer, while you laid your head down on his lap and felt like a band around your chest had snapped and you could take some deep breaths.  You couldn’t stop smiling.

 

“I promised you dessert.  Ready?

 

“I’m always ready for that.  Where are we going?”

 

“New place that just opened a little bit away.”

 

“You’re not going to believe I’m saying this but can we take the bike?”

 

His mouth dropped open.  “Really?  Of course we can!  Let me go get the helmet and stuff.  I’ll meet you in a minute.”

 

You wondered if you’d had an out-of-body experience when you asked to take the motorcycle, but even if you had, you didn’t feel afraid.  One thing you picked up from this life-changing event was to take things as they come, so if you wanted to do something, you tried not to overthink but just do it.  Steve was beaming when he pulled up and helped you on the bike. When you asked him to take you for a ride, he was more than happy to oblige with a drive down by the water.  Eventually, he pulled up to a small place that looked like it was closed, with just a couple of dim lights inside.  “Here it is, best little dessert place in Brooklyn.”

 

Everything looked exquisitely delicious, almost more like artwork than food.  There were a few small tables, lit with the candles you saw from outside.  The wonderful smell of baking and flavored teas permeated the room along with soft swing music playing from hidden speakers.  It felt like the perfect place to relax with a blanket and a book on a rainy day, with dessert.  Win-win in your opinion.

 

After deciding you’d stay to eat and asking him to pick out something for you, you took a seat close to the window, where the sound of the water was the loudest.  He brought the yummy stuff to the table and kissed you as he smiled.  “I knew you’d sit there - always closest to seeing or hearing the outdoors.”  

 

“How did you find this place? It’s absolutely charming.  It reminds me of the cabin, actually.”  The dessert he’d chosen looked amazing, and tasted even better.  Even though there was no one else there but the owner, you whispered as you smiled.  “Oh my God, Steve, this dessert is orgasmic.  I think it has ruined me for other pastries, just like you’ve ruined me for other men.”  His gaze changed from loving to seductive.

 

You turned towards the window for a moment, and when you turned back to him, Steve was no longer seated across from you.  He was beside you, on one knee, and took your hand.  You froze and he took a deep breath.

 

“Stephanie Elizabeth, I hope you know by now that I love you beyond words, beyond reason, beyond thought.  I want to be with you when we go to sleep and I want to be there when you wake up.  I’m already old, and I don’t want to wait any longer before we start a life together.  I want to be there every day -  with you, and with Lizzy and Gabbi, if you’ll all have me.  I want to be your one, forever.” He opened the blue velvet jewelry box to reveal the most spectacular ring you’d ever seen.  “Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

 

You realized your brain had stopped working when you couldn’t speak.  You gulped, and held his gaze while he stared at you, begging you with his eyes to say something.  You needed to breathe, but you knew in an instant that your brain had nothing to do with this decision.  You looked at him, took his beautiful face in your hands and kissed him.

 

“Yes.”

 


	17. The Next Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were engaged to Steve Rogers. You had to practically slap yourself to believe it, but it was true. After a romantic proposal, much celebration ensues. You continue to feel so lucky that the people in your lives love and support you so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say, @MsEnglish101 is the bestest beta in the world! Not *only* does she listen to my insecurities, she edits with an eagle eye and helps me with story development, as well. I would be well and truly lost without her help - I rely on her help to make this story better for all of you! Hope you keep enjoying this, and keep reading - constructive feedback is always appreciated!

Steve kissed your hand as he slipped the ring on your finger.  It was stunning - an oval sapphire circled by diamonds, with a platinum band.  He looked at you with those blue-green eyes.  “Thank you. Thank you for agreeing to be my best girl forever.  I hope you know how much I love you.”  He laid his head on your lap while you kissed the top of his head.  

 

Eventually, he got to his feet and pulled you to yours, dessert long-forgotten.  He turned to the owner, who apparently knew what to do.  “I Choose You” came on, and you started to laugh and cry at the same time.  

 

“I love this song!”

 

“I know, you’ve watched the video at least 300 times since I’ve known you.  I may be a thickhead, but even I see the significance in that.”

 

He held your hand to his chest and tried to sing along with you, causing even more laughter.

 

_ “There was a time when I would have believed them,  _

_ if they told me that you could not come true, just love’s illusion _

_ But then you found me, and everything changed _

_ And I believe in something again _

 

_ My whole heart, will be yours forever _

_ This is a beautiful start, to a lifelong love letter _

 

_ Tell the world that we finally got it alright,  _

_ I choose you _

_ I will become yours and you will become mine _

_ I choose you.” _

 

When the song finished he dipped you while you laughed.  You took his hand, thanked the owner, and asked if she wouldn’t mind taking a picture of the two of you. 

 

“C’mon, let's go celebrate.”

 

Steve held your newly-bedazzled hand as you walked towards the bike. He picked it up and looked at your ring and kissed your hand. You were uncharacteristically quiet. He chuckled quietly. 

 

“You’re thinking of a million questions, aren’t you detective?”

 

“Maybe not that many, but yes. I’m not going to spoil the night by asking all of them now, though.”

 

“Good, because you’ve got a lifetime to ask them. I’m not going anywhere.”  He leaned you against the bike, kissing you deeply, and hungrily running his hands under your blouse.  You matched his enthusiasm, and finally suggested you either drive back home or get a room nearby.  He thought for half a second before getting on.  “Hold on.  Tight.  This is going to be your fastest ride yet.”

 

Though his speed certainly surpassed the local limit, it still felt like it took forever for you to get home, park, and get upstairs.  The agents smiled as you held hands and went in.  Once you locked your door, you felt self-conscious for a minute, but smiled. “You have to promise me something.  If I start to get loud enough to tip off the agents what we’re doing, please stop me.”

 

“I’d bet folding money they have a pretty good idea. But If it makes you feel better, if you get that loud, I’ll just put something in your mouth.  Any ideas?”

 

You groaned. “That was clever, but disgusting.  I didn’t know you had it in you, Captain.”

 

“Even  _ I _ could make a dirty joke about that one!  You’re making this way too easy, darlin’.”

 

“Well, we wouldn’t want that, would we?”  You walked into your bathroom and shut the door.  You turned on the shower and laughed as you thought about Steve pacing furiously outside the door.  You got undressed slowly and stepped in, unable to take your eyes off your ring.  It was mesmerizing.  When he realized you were seriously going through with this delay tactic, he opened the door (you thought he might break it down if you’d locked it), saw you in the shower and walked right in, clothes and all.  You shrieked as he grabbed your shoulders and pulled you roughly to him, kissing you with as much power as he could without hurting you.  He put one hand under your knees and the other behind your back, and walked you to the bed, leaving a trail of dripping water in your wake.

 

“Stay there and keep your eyes on me.”  You did as he asked, incredibly turned on by his gruff order.

 

He got undressed, button by button, never taking his eyes off you as he slowly took off his wet clothes piece by piece.  The sight of him was making you warmer by the minute.  You started to sit up and reach for him.  

 

“Nope.  Not yet. I have other plans first.” 

 

“Yes, sir.”  You couldn’t tell if that got him mad or aroused, but you learned your answer when he crawled up your entire body to kiss you - hard.  He turned and held you to him putting you on top of him, feeling uncomfortable and out of control.  You tried to scoot off, but he held your hips firmly in place and lifted up to kiss you again.  “Steve, I don’t know…..”

 

“Well, I do.  I’ve told you before that you don’t need to hide any part of your body from me.  Let me remind you - you just said you would be with me forever, right?” You nodded as he took hold of your left hand and kissed your ring finger.  “It’s a two-way street.  This is as all-in as we can get.  Any hang-ups or insecurities either of us have we can get through together.  You have me, forever, but even better, I get to have you for just as long.  Now trust me, will ya?”  He smirked and you wondered how you got so lucky.  “Now, come here and kiss your future husband.”

 

You did as he asked and slowly forgot about your jiggling arms and stomach and thighs and focused on feeling every kiss, every lick, every tickle.  Neither of you were in a rush - apparently slowing down was the perfect remedy for distracted thoughts - you were focused on showing him how much you loved him and how happy you were.  Eventually you both reached a point where you needed to be locked together.  He helped you roll onto your back while he lined himself up and entered you without preamble.  You closed your eyes, overwhelmed by the intensity of your emotions and how he felt inside of you.  His pace and your breathing quickened as he put his hands between your legs and found your center, throbbing and begging for attention.  He circled you mercilessly while lifting your left leg onto his shoulder, needing only a minute before you bit your bottom lip so hard it started to bleed, just to stop yourself from yelling.  He continued at the same pace, while you pulled him in tight as you could and flipped over again.  He suckled your breasts while you gently encircled his base with your hand and squeezed, providing additional pressure as he moved in and out of you.  You let go of him, put your arms by his head and kissed him fiercely while he flexed every muscle and spurt into you, over and over, saying your name.  You collapsed on top of him, smiling, spent, and sweaty.   

 

“Son of a bitch, that was un-fucking-believable, Steve.”

 

“Agreed. I think if you drew blood,” he wiped the drop off your lip, “it was pretty damn good.”  

 

You laughed. You remembered you had questions, but the effect of multiple orgasms and the throbbing between your legs made them disappear.  You turned on your side, draping your left leg and left arm over his body.  You couldn’t stop staring at your hand as he could not stop staring at your face.

 

“This ring is gorgeous, Steve. I love it. Thank you for giving it to me.”  He ran his fingers through your hair and kissed your forehead. “What made you choose it?”

 

“As soon as I saw it, I knew it was yours, and I knew I was going to give it to you, if you’d have it.  I can’t really explain why, I just felt drawn to it. Plus, I know how much you love the color blue.”  You sighed, the dreamy explanation matching your high and promptly fell asleep holding him.  

 

You woke up several hours later still sleepy but in a state of absolute happiness.  While Steve slept, you got up, threw on some clothes and went into the living room.  You looked at your phone, at the picture of the two of you from the bakery, and melted.  You were surprised when your text alert sounded.

 

**Steve:** Where are you?  Why aren’t you in bed with me?

**Steph:** Couldn’t sleep, didn’t want to wake you.  I’m just in the living room, silly.  Thinking about good things.

**Steve:** Come back to bed

**Steph:** In a bit.

 

The next thing you heard was “No, now!” coming from the bedroom and you laughed as you complied.  Thinking be damned.

 

You both slept later than usual the next morning, and when you woke up, Steve was looking at his phone and smiling.  You turned towards him as you squeezed him.

 

“Good morning soon-to-be Mrs. Rogers.”

 

Now that was going to take some getting used to.  “Good morning already-Mr. Rogers.  What do you mean, ‘soon-to-be?’  Don’t you want sow any remaining oats?”  You laughed as you hooked your leg over his and straddled him, taking his phone out of his hands and tossing it away.  You leaned down to kiss him.

 

“I think this,” holding your left hand and moving the diamonds so they caught the sunlight, “shows I don’t want to be anywhere but with you.  ‘Soon-to-be’ means just that - I know I would love to marry you today, but a few weeks or months would do just fine.”

 

You must have been making one hell of a surprised face, because he sat up under you. 

 

“What? Don’t you want to get married soon?”

 

“I don’t know.  Honestly, I haven’t exactly had time to think about it since you surprised the heck out of me last night.” You kissed him again, wrapping your arms around his upper body and moving your hands up and down his back.

 

“You were surprised? Really?”

 

You laughed, with complete sincerity.  “Yes, definitely. I never thought you would ask me.  Well, that’s not true, I thought about it, but more as a fantasy than reality.”  You continued kissing him and moving your hips back and forth over his lap.  He pulled back and looked at you.

 

“You’re not joking, are you?”  You shook your head, confirming your answer with more kisses and increasing the friction between your bodies.  He pulled back again and stared at you as you pouted.  

 

“Steph, I knew I was going to ask you since the first time we made love, since the first time you treated my best friend like a member of your family, since you made it impossible for me to think about life without you.”

 

“Wow. Ok. Wow.” 

 

He laughed a bit and blushed, “I’ve thought about asking you every single day since I bought the ring.  I kept it with me, just waiting for the right moment.  It was getting harder not to ask, and I started to feel like I was keeping something from you.  I realized that as long as you said yes, any time would be the right time.”  

 

His eyes changed and he looked worried, even a bit scared. “Didn’t you ever think about us getting married?” You hugged him, holding him as tight as you could.

 

“Remember our first date, when you told me to trust you?  Well, since then I have worked very hard to do that.  For me, that meant letting go of what  _ might _ be and focusing on what  _ is _ \- the present moment _. _ I knew I loved you and I just tried to stay secure in the knowledge that you felt the same.”

 

“Well,  _ this _ is what is.  You, me, the girls, Bucky, my life, your life, all of it - I want everything, I want it all.  I want it for as long as we live.”

 

You kissed him, realized your legs were numb from kneeling, and started to laugh as you let yourself fall over.  

 

“So, who are we telling first?” He always surprised you with his train of thought.  

 

“I don’t know.  Kinda feels like it should be the girls, but it seems more likely it’ll be Bucky, since he’ll be here soon for breakfast.”  Steve headed to shower while you got dressed and started cooking.  You were singing and dancing along to “I Choose You” at a pretty loud volume and must’ve missed Bucky’s knock, because when he snuck up behind you and scared the daylights out of you, your scream brought Steve running out of the bathroom with just a towel on.

 

“Holy shit Bucky!  Really???”  You knew he let you hit him as he doubled over laughing.  You pushed him again, chuckling now, and you gasped as he suddenly grabbed your left wrist.  He looked between you and Steve as you both smiled, and pulled you into the biggest and warmest hug you could ever ask for.  He whispered into your ear, “I’m so happy for both of you, doll.”  Then, with a louder voice, “This guy is one lucky stiff.  What did he do to get a girl as great as you?”

 

“I don’t know Buck, but whatever I did, I’m the luckiest guy in the world.”  The two men hugged each other and you would’ve cried had breakfast not been perilously close to burning.

 

You realized you were out of bagels and cream cheese, so both men were sent on a mission to get some.  You laughed as they walked out the door - what an absurdly stupid use of two of the world’s most lethal fighting machines - bagel runners.

 

“Congratulations, punk.  The only way she could do better is if she was with me.”  That warranted a punch with a little more power than what he’d gotten earlier.

 

“Geez! Seriously, she is one in a million.  You are a very lucky guy.”

 

“I know, thanks Buck.”

 

“So when’s the big day?  And what do I, as best man, have to do?” Steve laughed, “Pretty cocky, huh Barnes?”

 

“Well, I’m right aren’t I?”

 

“Sure, Buck.  That’d be great. As for a date, no idea.  I told her that I wished we could get married today - just her and me, you and the girls - but that a few months from now would be fine.  She was surprised I had even thought about asking her, let alone decide on a date so soon.”

 

“Ok, well, whenever it is, I’ll be there, ready to step up for you if you decide to chicken out or die of old age.”  The punch that followed that comment hurt a little more.

 

You really did love watching both men eat - it felt satisfying to see them enjoy something as basic as eggs and bagels.  After they cleaned up, Steve mentioned having to run an errand and Bucky needed to review the protection detail shifts for the coming week.  Before he left, you had something on your mind you wanted to say to him.

 

“Bucky, do you think the agents are still necessary?  We’ve been back for awhile now, and you’ve never told me that anything suspicious or troubling has happened.  Don't you think we’re in the clear?”

 

He sat you down.  “No doll, I don’t.  Nat has been sending me updates when she has them.   Nothing big, that’s why I haven’t said anything to you, but she’s been picking up intel that they know what Steve gave them was fake and are putting out feelers to find the right stuff.  We can’t afford to underestimate HYDRA, or SHIELD, or whatever it is - they’re not going to stop until they have what they want, or are dead.”  You must have looked as worried as you felt. He took your hand and lifted your chin up.  “That’s why I’m here, Steph, why the agents are with the girls and with you.  Trust that I will do whatever it takes to keep you all safe.  Nothing is going to happen to any of you on my watch.”

 

You hugged him hard, kissing his cheek as you leaned back.  “Thanks Bucky.”

 

“Why don’t we go for a walk, huh?  I’m sure you could use a good stretch and some fresh air.  Whaddya say?”  Normally, that would not be your idea of a good time, but the offer was made from a place of such sweetness that you agreed.  Eventually, you were laughing and swearing at Bucky as he pushed you harder than Steve ever did, and made you do things you didn’t think you could.  He called it a “wedding dress workout,” but whatever it was, it stopped you from thinking about CGS Pharmaceuticals and the hold they had over your life.

 

You were happy to further get your mind off of things when you saw a group text from the Unholy Trinity.

 

**Ally:** Hey, what are you doing tonight?  Jen and Maria and the men wanted to hang out.  Movie, food, fun - you and Steve want in?

**Jen:** By the way, saying no is apparently not an option.  

**Steph:** Let me guess, an edict from Maria?

**Maria:** Hey!  I take offense at that.  It wasn’t my idea, it was the guys’!  Apparently, they like hanging out with Steve and Bucky.  I just told them we were inviting ourselves, too.

**Steph:** Sounds great on my end.  Let me ask Steve and I’ll get back to you ASAP, but I’d like to come with or without him.

**Jen:** Do I sense trouble in paradise?

**Ally:** Everything ok with you two?

**Steph:**  Everything is fine, great even!  I realize how that sounded, but I should have said I miss my friends and want to come out.  I hope Steve, my love, wants to join me, but I will be kind and understanding if he can’t.

**Maria:**  Good girl!  

**Ally:** So just show up - meet us at Roberta’s on Moore, let’s say 8 o’clock?

**Jen:** Hey, some of us have been awake since 5:30 with little people who decided to paint and use glitter at that obscene hour.  Could we make it a bit earlier?  7 o’clock?

**Steph:** LOL….oh geez, I remember those days.  Yes, of course - 7 works great for me.  If Steve can come, we’ll both be there.

**Maria:** Bucky can come, too.  

**Steph:** Ok, I’ll ask him.  Talk to you guys tonight, thanks for thinking of us.

 

You were surprised at how different getting engaged was the second time around. This time you didn’t need fanfare, didn’t need social media or announcements, you were just sure. Sure you loved Steve and he loved you, and sure that this was the next step and that you wanted to get on with it.  You realized he was right - a quiet ceremony sooner rather than later, with your family and friends around, followed by the start of a long life as man and wife. That just felt right. 

 

You were brought out of your reverie when Steve texted and asked you to meet him in the lobby with your coat. You were becoming less terrified of the motorcycle the more you rode with him.  He didn’t say much, and you were, well, you.  “You know I can’t stop asking questions completely, right?” He laughed, “Yeah I know. We’re going to see John and the girls.” 

 

You pulled up and the girls ran out.  Before you talked to them, you wanted to speak to Sue and John.  When you sat down with them, Sue was the first one to notice your ring.  You were very surprised when she squealed and hugged you, congratulating both of you and asking for details.  John simply smiled and shook Steve’s hand and gave you a hug and kiss.  You assured them you and Steve had no plans to overshadow their upcoming wedding, that their plans would take priority, and you were probably going to just do something small.  Sue would not hear of it.  

 

“You are not going to change your plans on our account!”  John smiled and nodded his head in agreement.  

 

“Thank you for being so thoughtful, but we don’t really have any plans, to be honest.  We just got engaged.  We just want you to know that we don’t want to step on your toes.  Your wedding is going to be gorgeous, and we don’t want to take anything away from it.”  

 

John smiled at you and reached out to hold his fiancee’s hand.  “Steph, you know there’s not going to be that much overlap in our guest lists.  You guys plan whatever you want, maybe just stay away from the same date?”  You and Steve nodded.  “Now, what say you tell the girls, I know they’re going to be very excited.”

 

“Excited” was a bit of an understatement.  Lizzy noticed your ring, grabbed your hand, and dragged you to Gabbi to show her.  They both started jumping up and down and screaming, hugging you, and hugging Steve.  Honestly, there wasn’t much to say after that.  They had questions about when you were getting married, who was going to be the maid of honor, and the best man.  You were able to assuage their curiosity by promising to get their help when you and Steve were ready.  John and Sue brought out a bottle of sparkling apple cider and you all toasted to each other’s happiness before you left to get ready to meet everyone at the restaurant.  

 

You were a little nervous to see your friends, particularly Maria, but Steve reassured you that it would be fine because they just wanted you to be happy.  When you walked in the restaurant with Steve’s hand on your lower back and a slight smile on your face, you almost fainted when you walked into “SURPRISE!” and an engagement party.   You were speechless and blushing in every area of exposed skin, and as you turned to hide your face in Steve’s neck you heard him laughing and saw him smiling at you.  “Surprise, my love.  It’s amazing what a guy can get done in a day when Tony Stark’s resources are at your disposal.”  

 

You scanned the room and almost cried when you saw how many people you and Steve loved were there - Avengers, your best friends and their plus ones, and the biggest surprise of all, your parents.  They all were smiling at you, many with tears in their eyes, and toasted to your happiness while Steve kissed you.  You ran over to your parents and hugged them, smiling through tears as they told you that Steve had called them several weeks before to ask for their blessing and that Tony had sent someone to get them there.  You were amazed at Steve’s forethought, his planning, and his incredible dedication to making you happy. He stayed to talk with them and you excused yourself to find the bar. Turning around, you practically bumped into your three best friends.  You hugged them all.

 

“You guys are really sneaky, you know that?”  

 

Jen looked at you.  “It’s true, but we are the loosest-lipped women you know, and we can’t keep anything from you, so we had to do this tonight, or we were going to spill the beans.”

 

“When Steve came to my house this morning to talk to me….” You interrupted Maria with a raised hand.  “What? He was at your house this morning?  Why?”

 

She continued, “Let me finish nosy.  Steve asked me if he could come over, and when he arrived told me about last night’s wonderfulness.  He asked if the three of us could help get you here tonight and take care of your parents when they arrived.  What was I going to do, say no to my best friend’s fiance?  So, we may have exaggerated a bit when we talked earlier, but it worked, didn’t it?”  You nodded, stunned by their support.

 

“Now let’s see that ring!”  You smiled as they “oooooh’d” and “ahhhhh’d” over your new jewelry and asked you to tell them every detail of how Steve proposed.  Finally, Steve made his way back to you and kissed your cheek as he handed you a drink.  You scanned the room, and he read your mind, “Your parents are fine, I’ve got Bucky and Sam making sure they aren’t alone and Pepper making sure she runs interference if Tony gets….well, if he acts like himself.”  

 

Even though you wanted to sit, you made a beeline to the man who helped make it all possible and gave him a hug and kiss as you thanked him.  You always liked Tony - his brilliance and philanthropy, his bravery and loyalty to Steve, and even his sarcasm and petulance.  He was truly happy for you, and offered anything you needed to make the wedding happen whenever, wherever, and however you wanted.  He was really a sweet guy underneath all that iron.

 

The night was wonderful, and at times overwhelming, but so much fun.  You were toasted, supported, and congratulated, and when Steve asked you to dance, applauded.  You looked at him and kissed that devilishly mischievous grin off his face.  “Thank you for this, Steve.  I am just blown away.  The return to real life is not going to be easy tomorrow.”

 

“Who says you have to return to real life so soon?  Don’t rush through this, Steph.  Sure, I want to marry you sooner, rather than later, but I also want to enjoy this.  This is the only time I’m ever going to get married, I want to have lots of memories to talk about.”

 

By the time you kissed and thanked everyone, had a few drinks, and made sure your parents were OK with spending the night at Maria’s place, you practically collapsed into the backseat of the car Tony provided, driver included, and almost immediately fell asleep on Steve’s shoulder.  The next morning you didn’t remember how you got upstairs, got in one of his t-shirts and got to bed, but you were grateful for him all over again.  He was right, you should enjoy every minute of this time, knowing the thrill and newness would be over all too soon.


	18. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much had happened in the last few days. You got engaged, you were surprised by your wonderful fiancee with a surprise engagement party, and life was pretty good. You were ready for another big step, and not ready for the next step in the criminal investigation into your abduction. Life isn’t always a fantasy, even when you’re engaged to Captain America.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your kind words and feedback. It really means so much to me, and I love knowing that my little story has made some folks happy or wistful in their day to day lives. As always, @MsEnglish101 is the absolute best beta ever - oh, and a cheerleader for this novice writer. Enjoy and let me know what you think!

The day after your surprise engagement party, your head was a bit foggy, but you were crystal-clear aware of how lucky you were to have so many people care about your happiness.  Even though Hallmark would have been proud of your sappiness, your level of desire for your fiancee, lying next to you, was definitely not appropriate for a greeting card.  You loved waking up next to Steve, it made your entire day better.  You knew he’d been wanting that, too, for a long time.

 

You nudged him awake with your cold toes.  He smiled and wrapped his massive arm around you - one of your top five favorite sensory experiences - and you kissed his nose.  “Good morning, love.  Thank you for taking care of me last night, though since we both have clothes on, it does not seem you took advantage of the situation.  That’s disappointing.”  He laughed.  

 

“Well, it’s no fun if you don’t remember it, and I have a reputation to maintain.”  Now it was your turn to bust a gut.  

 

“Really? What reputation are you referring to?  Earth’s mightiest hero?”  

 

“Nope.”

 

“All around great guy?”

 

“Getting warmer.”

 

“Hmmmmm….best person to kill mice in your apartment?”  That warranted a smack on your behind.

 

“Oh wait, I know.  Most talented, skillful, handsome, loving, imaginative lover and fiancee on the planet?”  


“Try universe.  I’m known everywhere.”  That had both of you giggling. You remembered how surprised you were when you learned that yes, Captain America was capable of giggling.

 

As he leaned forward to kiss you, you rolled the other way.  He whined and easily pulled you back towards him, his chest against your back.  He started whispering in your ear, which sent goosebumps down your arms.  

 

“Did you have fun last night?”  You knew it was not a casual question.  He truly wanted to know, and you wanted to give him all the reassurance he deserved.

 

“Yes, I did. Thank you for doing everything you did to make it happen.  Especially thinking of inviting my parents. That was the icing on the cake. It was magical, special, beautiful.”  You turned in his arms to face him and kiss him, running your fingers lightly down the side of his face.  You were willing, ready, and sure of everything about this man and this relationship. No time like the present to take another big step.

 

“What would you think about finding a place together?”

 

You laughed as Steve smiled rapturously, rolled over on top of you, and started feverishly kissing you.

 

“I take it that’s a yes?” Steve could not control his excitement. It was infectious.

 

You spent the rest of the morning comparing screenshots of potential places you reviewed online. You both wanted to stay in Brooklyn, and though you definitely couldn’t afford a house there, your combined incomes would help find a place big enough for all 4 of you. You were surprised to learn that you made almost as much as Captain America - guess working for the government really didn’t pay.  

 

After awhile your eyes were tired and your shoulders tense. Steve pulled you out of your chair and hugged you, kissing your forehead.

 

“Wanna have some fun?”

 

“Sweetie, I’m not really in the mood right this second.”  He laughed, cinching his arms around your waist and squeezing you.

 

“I’m not talking about that - well, at least not right now - come on, I just thought of something you’re going to love.”

 

Steve thought it was too windy for the motorcycle, so you climbed into the truck Tony had told Steve to keep there, “just in case.”  You drove south, and opened your eyes wide when you realized you were at Coney Island. You knew it was a favorite place of his from his pre-serum life, and he was excited to share it with you, even though the rides had already closed for the season.

 

You walked the boardwalk, ate at Nathan’s, and then sat on the beach wrapped in several blankets and watched the ocean. Steve bought you some hot coffee and put his arm around your shoulders, pulling you to him. You’d been there a couple of times with the girls for parties and field trips, but he was an expert in the Coney Island of his childhood, and you asked him to tell story after story, until he noticed your lips were a purplish hue. After warming up back in the truck, you wanted to check in on your parents again. Maria and the hospitality committee had kept them entertained the entire day, including coordinating with John so they could see the girls, but you felt a little bit guilty for not being there while they visited.

 

By the time you got them on the phone and offered to make dinner at your place, they sounded exhausted, and asked if it would be ok to get together the following day before they went back home.  The rest of the drive was quiet, but you had something nagging at you.

 

You turned to look at him and asked, “Did Bucky tell you he and I talked about the protection detail the other day?” He nodded. “He told me that it’s definitely not the time to end protection, which surprised me. Why didn’t you tell me that Nat had some new information about CGS?”

 

“Because It was speculative, not definitive, and I didn’t want to worry you without proof.”    

 

“Fair enough, and thank you.  To be honest, what Bucky said scared me.  He wasn’t trying to, but he did.  I realized I was getting lulled into complacency, because it had been a long time with no problems - that I was aware of.  It made me think about the other shoe dropping.”

 

“I can see why you felt that way.  I wish I could say that there was nothing to be worried about, but I’m not going to lie to you.  All I can say is that you are protected, and that there is a sizeable wall between you, the girls, and anything bad out there, with Bucky and me on the front line.”  He held your hand and scooted around the gearshift to close the distance between you.  

 

“That scares me too, Steve.  I’m worried about the girls and about myself, but I am worried about the men in my life, too.  I don’t want anything to happen to you or Bucky.”  He cupped your face in his hand and leaned your foreheads together.

 

“I can’t tell you nothing will happen to us either, but we are pretty good at what we do.  I have a very compelling reason to not die any time soon.”  You were definitely sniffling.  “Come on, I want to show you something.”  He helped you out of the truck and wrapped his arm around you as you rode up the elevator.  

 

After you ate and changed into your pajamas, Steve asked you to sit with him at his computer.  

 

“I didn’t know if you were ready to see these, but given what you just said, I think it would be good to know the status of the case.  You don’t have to, and we can stop at any time.”

 

One at a time he brought up picture after picture of where you were kept - the inside and outside of the house, the radiator to which you were chained, and the car in which you were transported.  They were crime scene photos. It was the first time you’d seen all this, and to your surprise, you were uncomfortable and upset, but you weren’t freaking out or having a panic attack.  Steve watched your face and held your hand.

 

“Bucky just got hold of this today.” He opened a file with pictures of your captors. They were clearly in some kind of holding cell, and looked like they had been on the receiving end of quite a beating.

 

“Where are they?”

 

“The Canadian police intercepted them when they tried to cross the border into the US.  Nat and Tony flew out as soon as they heard. They should be starting their interrogation tomorrow.  Our hope is they’ll give up who they’re working for.”

 

“Are you going? Will they need me?” You grabbed his hand more tightly. The thought of having to see them again was making your stomach twist.

 

“I’m not going yet. Nat wants to do the first interrogation and since she’s the best I’ve ever seen, I figured I’d let her.” He smiled slightly, and you quietly waited.

 

When he wouldn’t look you in the eye, you knew he had to tell you something hard. It had only happened once or twice since you’d known him.

 

“Steve.” He sighed, followed by a deep breath.

 

“Nat and Tony suggested you start getting ready to testify. They will be prosecuted on US soil in cooperation with Canadian authorities, because the crime started here and ended there. The New York District Attorney has already been in touch with your legal team.”

 

“I have a legal team? Why would I need a lawyer?”

 

“Tony and I assumed you’d want to use his lawyers. He has a firm that only represents Stark Industries, but of course you could get someone you trust if you want to. You don’t need a lawyer to defend you, but to make sure your rights are protected; to make sure that no one on either side takes advantage of you.”

 

You were so grateful to both Steve and Tony and all the people who were helping you get through this as painlessly as possible.  Even with that gratitude, you resented the need for all the help.

 

Steve closed his laptop. “Come on babe. You’re going to take a hot shower, snuggle with me in bed, and succumb to my irresistible advances if the mood strikes you.”

 

When you stepped out of the shower, he had a mug of hot chocolate with whipped cream waiting on your nightstand.  You happily moaned as you sipped it, making him laugh.  

 

“Thank you for taking care of me in so many ways.  I am a lucky woman.”

 

You leaned against him while you chose an innocuous movie that you’d seen at least 5 times, and promptly fell asleep.  Even though you didn’t panic when Steve showed you the pictures earlier, your subconscious didn’t get the memo.  You woke up sweating in the middle of the night, gasping for air, with the kidnappers’ faces vividly in your mind’s eye.  You breathed slowly, tiptoeing out of your room so as not to wake up Steve, who had turned over with his eyes still closed.  

 

As you sat on the fire escape, wrapped in a blanket, you breathed slowly, and tried to clear your mind.  You felt weary and a bit empty, but thankfully, not like crying.  You were hesitant to go back to sleep, but knew that not sleeping made every bad thought worse.  

 

“You okay?”

 

Without turning around, you breathed. “Yeah, I'm okay.”

 

“Nightmare?”

 

“Yeah. Sorry. I didn't want to wake you.”

 

He crawled out onto the fire escape, his massive frame filling the space, squatted down next to you, and gently took your hand.  

 

“Please don’t apologize.  Want to talk about it?”  He was the sweetest man ever.  Even though you didn’t want to talk about it, you didn’t want him to think you didn’t trust him.  You took a big breath, and were surprised at what followed.

 

“I want something I can’t have.  I want this to be over.  I want to stop seeing their faces when I have nightmares, I want to live a real life with you and the girls - you know, the whole ‘happily ever after’ thing.  I want to know that we can start our life together without having to look over our shoulders and I want us to be equals without you taking care of me all the time.”  You were more riled up when you finished talking than when you started.  You still didn’t feel like crying, but instead like screaming and punching something.  Hard.

 

Steve sat next to you and rubbed your arm, kissing the top of your forehead.  Even those loving and thoughtful gestures made you feel unsettled.  “I wish I could make all that happen for you, Steph.  I wish I could just erase this entire situation from our lives, but all I can do is fight it with everything I have.  That’s all you can do, too.  It’s hard, it’s scary, and it sucks, but if we don’t accept that reality we’ll never be able to move forward.”  You knew he was right, but that didn’t change what you wanted.

 

You gave him a weak smile, gently extricated yourself, and stood up.  “I’m going to go for a walk, I think.  The agents are here, they can come with me.”

 

“It’s the middle of the night, babe, please don’t leave.  Stay here with me, let me help you.”

 

“Thank you, Steve, but right now, I need to scream and cry and not be rational.  I don’t WANT to need your help, I don’t WANT to always be the one on the receiving end, I don’t WANT to be the beneficiary of anyone’s pity, I don’t WANT to have fucking nightmares that make me relive this.  I just want my life back.”  He looked so hurt it broke your heart, which was the last thing you wanted to do.

 

“Let me make sure you understand.  I love you.  I want it to be you and me for the rest of our lives; but right now, I _don’t want to need what you are so good at giving me_ \- unselfish, unwavering support - because the root of this is I wish I didn’t need it, and I wonder if you would have asked me to marry you if you didn’t have to give it.”  You took a deep breath, shaking as you heard the words fall out, and realized that was what had been gnawing at you.  The tears came, as they always did.  You wished you had no more left to cry, while wondering at the same time if you would ever stop.  You felt like your skin was made of sandpaper, unable to take comfort from this man of your dreams who loved you unconditionally.  You walked into the bedroom and sat in the dark, trying to empty yourself of the anger, the resentment, the fear that was keeping you from showing Steve how much you loved and needed him.

 

Steve didn’t try to follow you.  You heard him close the window to the fire escape and quietly move through your apartment.  You don’t know how much time passed until you fell asleep again, this time so empty that even the nightmares were gone.  

 

When you woke up the next day, the first call you made was to Deb; you knew you needed to talk with her by yourself _and_ with Steve.  You left a message, got dressed, and went to see if Steve had stayed at his place.

 

When you walked into the living room, he was there, sleeping on the couch, his huge body folded into the couch, covered by a blanket.  You grabbed your wallet and keys and slipped out quietly into the hall.  

 

Bucky was back, and in the hall checking in with the agents on duty.  When you saw him and his smile at seeing you, there was a crushing weight on your chest, making it impossible to look at him.  You choked out a quiet “good morning,” and asked if someone would come with you for a walk as you put in your earbuds and slowly started for the elevator.  Bucky was behind you in a second, trying to make conversation, and though you heard his voice, the music you were blasting obscured his words.  When he realized that, he grabbed your wrist as gently as possible and tugged the ear bud cord so they fell out.  Turning you towards him, he firmly held your shoulders.  

 

“What’s wrong,doll?  Where’s that world-famous Stephanie smile?”

 

“It’s in short supply today, Buck.  Are you coming with me for my walk or is someone else?”

 

“I will, if that’s okay.”

 

“Of course, thank you.”

 

You hadn’t walked with that much purpose and determination in a long time. Bucky easily kept up with you, but followed your lead and was quiet.  By the time you finished your usual loop, you were hot and thirsty, but calmer. You stopped to buy some water for the both of you, and when you handed Bucky the bottle, you felt ready to look up at him and smile.

 

“Thanks, Buck.”

 

“No problem, kiddo.”

 

His phone beeped with an incoming text.  “Steve.  He wants to know if we’re together, and if you’re still upset.”

 

You asked him for his phone and took a selfie of the two of you and sent it.   When it beeped a second later, Bucky sighed, “He wants to know if you’re still upset with HIM.”

 

“Please tell him to text me - you don’t need to be a go-between.”

 

“He says he tried, but your phone is sitting on your nightstand in your bedroom.”  You blushed a bit and asked Buck if you could use his phone for a second.

 

 **Bucky:** Hey, it’s Steph.  Sorry about leaving my phone there, it was an accident.  I wanted to leave for a walk without waking you.

 **Steve:** Why?

 **Bucky:** I needed to clear my head, and I needed to get out of the house for a bit, get some fresh air.

 **Steve:** OK.  How are you now?

 **Bucky:** OK, thanks.  We’re heading home soon.  Want anything?

 **Steve:** Just you, please.

 **Bucky:**  If anyone intercepted this text, they would get a very different idea of what this conversation means.  LOL.  I’ll see you in a few.

 

Bucky looked at you, “Want to tell me about it?”  Since you knew Steve would tell him, you nodded and explained what transpired the night before while you walked back home  To his credit, Bucky didn’t try to editorialize while you talked.  

 

“I think the worst thing that came out of it was that I said I wasn’t sure if he would’ve asked me to marry him if I was less needy, more normal, like before it happened.  He looked so hurt, Bucky, it broke my heart.  I didn’t realize I thought that, but when I said it, I knew it was a reflection of something I had rolling around in my brain.”  He took his time responding.

 

“That’s not the Steve I knew growing up, or the Steve I know now.  I can say with absolute 100% certainty that that man is head over heels in love with you.  When we were waiting to find you after you were taken, he and I were sitting outside, looking at the stars from the top of Stark Tower, and he told me that he realized he had feelings for you very soon after you met, and he figured out how strong those feelings were and that they had turned into love, almost as soon as he kissed you for the first time.”  Now it was your turn to be quiet.

 

“Doll, that was before you were back with us, before any of this bad stuff went down.  He knew you were the one for him not because you needed him, but because you needed each other and fit together the way the best couples do.  I’m sure he woulda told you the same thing if you woulda let him.”

 

You gave him a hug at the elevator, and went to face the music.  “Wish me luck.”

 

“Luck has nothing to do with it.”

 

Steve opened the door before you turned the knob.  He looked so worried, and as he smiled at Bucky and thanked him, he wrapped his arms around you and kicked the door shut.  He kissed your forehead and tilted your chin up when you wouldn’t look at him.  

 

“Steph, I’m so sorry if I ever made you think I asked you to marry me to fulfill some need I had to make or keep you dependent on me.  All I can say is that since the moment I first bumped into you in the hallway, I was drawn to you - your spirit, your independence, your beauty.  It didn’t take me too long to realize you were a magical, truly one-of-a-kind woman that I needed to be with.” You blushed in every visible place.

 

“Remember I told you that I had been carrying your ring around with me, just waiting to ask you?  Well, I never told you when I bought it.  I thought this might prove to you that I had made up my mind way before things changed.”  He pulled out his phone and flipped to a picture of your ring in the open velvet box.  You noticed the date stamp and thought for a minute.

 

“That was before the last school year ended.  After we told the girls we were together?”

 

“I bought it the day we told them.  My plan was to ask you in front of them, but then I had to leave for a mission, and I knew it had to wait.  All I could think about was making you my best girl.  So you see, when you were taken, all I thought about was getting you back, the you I fantasized about from the first minute I kissed you. “

 

You pulled your earbuds out, took off the armband that carried your MP3 player, and hugged him, whispering in his ear how much you loved him and would never doubt his love or his motives again.   You could tell he felt better when he joined you in the shower, helping to make the morning a million times better than the night before.  Afterwards, you hurried to get dressed and meet the girls and your parents for some fun before they headed back home.  When you stepped out of the bedroom, Steve was waiting, clearly in Captain America mode.  

 

“When are you leaving?”

 

“In the next hour.  Tony and Nat let me know they’ve got everything under control with your situation, but unfortunately, I gotta go take care of something else.  I’m sorry.”

 

After assuring him that you valued the safety and sanctity of the world over your need to have him get to know your parents better, you said goodbye and went in search of your family.  They were so happy to see you, and everyone, including your friends and their families who had hosted them, were able to grab some lunch and visit.  It was just what you needed.  This was your normal, this was the reality you craved, and even with (or maybe because of?) the presence of the protection agents, you were happy.  

 

A few weeks later, you laughed to yourself when you realized how often your life seemed to be on a rollercoaster, with some pretty big highs and lows.  Deb helped you try to get even, reach some middle ground.  It took awhile, but you finally felt like you were at a sane, safe place again.  You always missed Steve when he was away, but this time, it felt like some distance and space was therapeutic.  You were glad Bucky was there, and though he was certainly not a substitute for Steve, he had become a close friend in his own right, comfortable with you, the girls, and your friends.

 

One night while cleaning up after dinner and helping the girls with their homework, Gabbi looked up from her place at the table and turned to him with her nosy expression.

 

“Bucky, why don’t you have a girlfriend?”

 

“Gable Amelia! You do not ask people questions like that!”

 

Thankfully, Bucky had gotten used to their questions and personal intrusions into his private life.  “It’s okay, Steph.  Well, kiddo, guess I haven’t found someone as great as your Mom for my very own.  Got anyone in mind?”

 

“No, but I was just wondering.  You’re strong and fun and nice.  I heard one of Mom’s friends say you were cute and she wondered why you were still single.”  You groaned and buried your head in your hands.  

 

“Gabbi, really?  There’s such a thing as saying too much, honey.”  Bucky didn’t seem fazed.

 

“Well, if you find anyone who’s interested, let me know, okay?” You jumped up to put a stop to that.

 

“Hold on, Buck.  Gabbi, it is very sweet that you want Bucky to be happy, but he’s a grown man and can make his own plans with people he might want to get to know better.  You are NOT to speak to anyone about his love life without permission.”

 

“But he _just_ gave me permission, Mom!”  She had a point.

 

“You are 13 years old.  It was embarrassing enough when you tried setting me up with Steve for months on end….”

 

“Yeah, and look how badly _that_ turned out.”  Geez, this girl was smart.  Too smart.  Bucky and Lizzy had controlled their laughter up to that point, then lost the battle and burst out laughing at you while they looked at Gabbi with admiration.

 

You had to laugh.  “You got a point there, sweetie, but as your Mom, I signed up for the right to be the recipient of all kinds of inappropriate or embarrassing behavior from my children and loved ones.  Bucky didn’t.  I hate to play the Mom card, but I am telling you that you will not try setting up anyone with him  - unless you talk to me or Steve first.  How about that for a compromise?”  She nodded and you breathed a sigh of relief, because you had nothing left to argue if she didn’t.

 

Thankfully, it was easy to distract her at this time in the school year because it was when all of you celebrated your birthdays and talking about it always made her hyper-focused on her big day.  Of the three of you, yours was first, and as it got closer, you were less and less sure that Steve would be back.  He texted or called you every chance he could, and Bucky filled you in when he was able, but when he was working, you tried not to be a distraction.

 

The morning of your birthday you woke up smiling, as usual - it was one of your favorite days of the year.  The girls had asked John if they could switch days with him that week so they could celebrate with you, and they, along with Bucky and several of the agents whom you now considered friends, greeted you with a rousing, off-key chorus of Happy Birthday and balloons.  Almost everyone you loved reached out - your friends, siblings, parents (who still insisted on singing you “Happy Birthday” every single year  and you still loved it).  Presents, hugs and kisses, and going out for dinner made you feel very special and cared for.  No surprise, but not having Steve there made it a little less perfect.  You texted him later in the evening, after all the festivities concluded, not expecting an answer, but just to let him know you missed him.

 

 **Steph:** Hi my love.  Hope you are safe and things are going well.  Just wanted to tell you I love you and I miss you.  I hope I see you soon.

 

You gasped when the little talk bubbles immediately showed up.

 

 **Steve:**  Happy Birthday Steph.  I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to celebrate with you.  I miss you too.  Gotta run, but Bucky has your gift from me.  Love you.

 **Steph:** Love you too.

 

When you knocked next door, Bucky wasn’t surprised to see you.  He smiled as he let you in.

 

“Let me guess - you aren’t here for my company, or my coffee.”

 

You smiled back.  “Who says I’m not?”  That got him chuckling.

 

“Have a seat, I’ll go get it.”  He yelled from the bedroom, “Close your eyes!  You better do it, too - I’ll be able to hear if your eyes are open!”  You started giggling uncontrollably, but you did as you were told.

 

“Don’t open ‘til I say, got it?”  You continued laughing, but followed his direction.

 

“Yes!!  Come on, Bucky!!!! This is torture!”

 

When he told you to open your eyes, he had placed a small box in front of you with a card.  You were gleeful, close to giddy.  You opened the card first - your mother taught you it was the nice thing to do - and teared up when you saw the picture of you and Steve from the bakery, the night you were engaged.  On the back was written, “The happiest day of my life, so far. Can’t wait to spend the rest of our days together.  Happy birthday.  Love, Steve.”  You opened the box and gasped as you looked at the most beautiful earrings you’d ever seen, the matching set for your engagement ring - sapphires surrounded by diamonds.  You sat staring at them for a long time.

 

“Can I at least see them on you?”  You whipped around so fast to see where that gorgeous voice came from that you dropped the box.  Standing in his living room was your uniformed, sweaty, dirty and absolutely gorgeous fiancee.  You got to him as quickly as possible.

Best. Birthday. Ever.


	19. It's a Small World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As always, reunions with Steve were wonderful, but the one on your birthday was magical. The days and weeks leading up to your ex-husband’s wedding were busy, but also a time for reflection and bittersweet feelings that Steve picked up on. While your life kept going ahead in wonderful and positive directions, behind the scenes the big bad was starting to plan its revenge. The people you trusted to keep you and your family safe were not all what they seemed. Old ties, old wounds, new hate and fresh revenge were about to insert themselves into your happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I know what it’s like to WANT to write like crazy but have life get in the way. Thank you, as always, to @MsEnglish101 for always being there for me and helping me write a story I am truly happy with. If you have a spare minute, let me know what you think - I love reading your comments - they are, without fail, uplifting. Stay tuned!!!!
> 
> Oh, and as any speaker of German will recognize, the translations here are thanks to Google Translate, not a speck of second-language ability.

As you walked over to kiss him and you recognized that he was in his stealth suit and not street clothes, you laughed as a thought came to you. “Did Clint drop you on the roof? Do we need to move somewhere with a landing pad?”

He held onto your waist and leaned against you. “What kind of guy would I be if I didn’t get back for my best girl’s birthday? Anyway, it wasn’t much of a jump.” You swallowed hard, grateful this wasn’t something else he was going to ask you to do. You hoped.

As he stowed his gear, you grabbed your earrings and excused yourself, so he could catch up with Bucky. You kissed him again, and as you went to leave, he whispered, “I’ll see you in a few. I’ve got one more present for you.” After seeing how he looked at you, it left little doubt about what that gift might be.

You were sitting in your darkened living room on the couch when he came in a few minutes later, bringing a cupcake lit with a candle. You had to giggle as he sang happy birthday off-key while you made a wish. He emptied his hands and held you close to him, foreheads touching. “This time next year, you’ll be Mrs. Rogers. I hope the thought of that is a good birthday present.”

“Thank you, love, that was a perfect thought to end the night - the best gift I could get: you.” You kissed his cheek and he grabbed your hand.

Cue the smart-ass grin that you loved and hoped to see. “Who said that was the gift?” He took several determined steps backwards towards your room, pulling you with him. He looked so serious and that, in combination with his uniform, gave you an idea. 

“Captain, I don’t know what you’re thinking about doing, but my fiance is going to be here any minute, and if I were you, I wouldn’t want to be here when he does. He’s very jealous.” Steve definitely looked confused, but when you started to undress and looked at him with what you hoped was your seductive expression, he began to get the idea.

“I don’t really care if he’s jealous or not, because I’m here with you, not him. You’ve been all alone for weeks, left to your own devices. A man shouldn’t leave a sexy woman like you alone in the big city, with no one to satisfy her needs. I’m only doing what a real man would.” You were impressed at how naturally this was coming to him.

He stared at you with possessive and hungry eyes. This was not your gentle, loving Steve. This was a soldier who needed to have you, who craved you, and needed to be in you. Now. 

“How many times have you touched yourself since he’s been gone? How many times have you come by yourself, gripping your sheets with one hand and taking care of yourself with the other? If you were mine, you would be writhing on top of me, screaming my name, and letting me please you over and over. I would never leave you,and you would never let me go.” Your temperature was definitely rising. Quickly.

“But I can’t be with another man, it’s wrong, Captain.” You bit your bottom lip and looked up at him through your lashes as you walked your fingertips up the edge of your nightgown, pulling it up inch by inch to reveal your boy shorts. “Isn’t it?”

“Forget about right or wrong, just tell me if you want me.” He grabbed you and kissed you so fiercely, it took your breath away. You pulled his hair as he sucked on your neck and then came back to your lips. 

“Do you want this? Do you want me to make you feel everything a woman like you deserves?”

“Yes, please, Captain. I can’t even tell you how much I want it.” You looked at him with eyes that told him how much you trusted him, how much you wanted him, how much you were loving this play. His completely dilated eyes, flushed skin, and ragged breathing showed he felt the same, that he was enjoying this just as much, if not more, than you were. It was exhilarating.

He brought you down to the mattress, making sure your nightgown was thrown aside. He told you to lift your bottom, as he pulled off your boy shorts tantalizingly slow, kissing down your thighs as he did. You started to moan and grab for him.

“Do you like that? Do you like how I make you feel?” You nodded your response and pulled him up to meet your open mouth and kiss him. As he held his body over yours, he made sure you understood.

“I’m going to do everything that you want. I’m going to make you scream my name each time you come. I’m going to exhaust you and fill you so completely you’ll think of me every time you’re with him.” He smiled and winked at you, just to make sure you understood he was playing. You did, but you were dying for him and needed to get to the good part.

“Please. Now.”

“Do you want to see the effect you have on me?” You were losing the ability to speak. Nodding was the best you could do. 

He reached to unzip the dark blue uniform. Your eyes were glued to him as he slowly peeled it off, making you hungrier for him with each passing second. He crooked his finger at you and motioned to make your way to him. You could tell he was surprised when you crossed the bed so quickly. 

You started to pull the suit down from his waist. Thankfully he helped, as it was so different from regular clothing. You stared as he freed his massive bulge, wanting nothing more than to have all of it inside of you. You circled your hand around him, stroking him slowly and leaned down to lick him clean while you looked up at him. His eyes were black as he stared through you. He was working hard to control his breathing and his hands.

You got up from your kneeling position on the bed and stood in front of him. You were naked and you needed him to be the same. He kicked off the rest of his clothes, turned your back to him, and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in. He made sure to rub his length over your bottom, while he played with your nipples from behind. You couldn’t control your moaning, and when he moved his hand down and felt how wet your center was, he started whispering in your ear.

“Lay down on your stomach and stretch your arms above your head.”

You did as he asked without question, bent over the bed, just waiting for him. His chest covered your back, kissing your neck, your shoulders, while slowly pushing 1, then 2, then 3 of his huge fingers inside of you. You realized you were holding your breath after the third, and started to move back into him, desperately wanting his thickness inside of you, hitting more places than his fingers could. He kissed the back of your neck. “You want me, don’t you?. You want me to make you scream, don’t you?”

You were completely focused on him and how he was undoing you. All you could manage was to moan and beg. “Yes, please, Captain, please fuck me. I need all of you in me. I can’t wait anymore. Please.”

“I wanted to make sure you were ready for me. You are, aren’t you? You’re wetter than you've ever been for him, aren’t you?” With that, he was inside you, completely swallowed by your open and waiting core. There was no pretense anymore as you started controlling your joined movement, rocking back into him until all you could hear was his moans and the incredibly arousing sound of your bodies moving together as he held your hips.

“Holy fuck. Steph, oh my God. Oh my love. Holy fuck, you are so tight, baby.” 

It only took moments for the tension inside you to snap and your muscles to clamp around him, losing your ability to do anything but breathe and cry out while taking him with you. You completely collapsed face down on the bed, trying to support him as well.

“Steve, that was amazing but you’re suffocating me, love.” You were sad, but at least you could breathe, as he pulled out. Your head spun when you tried to stand up, and he steadied you, pulling you next to him to lie down. You curled into him with your arms snaked around him and your leg hooked over his. Your eyes were already closing. You kissed his chest and ran your fingers through the hair there as he kissed the top of your head. If afterglow could be seen, your bedroom would be blindingly full of it. 

“Now that was a birthday gift.” You were practically purring, and he laughed softly. “It certainly was different.”

You looked up at him. “Different as in good?”

“No. Different as in un-fucking-gosh-darn unbelievable.” It only took moments for both of you to fall fast asleep, holding onto each other’s bodies. 

—————-------------------------------------------------------------------------———

Jesus Christ, they were having sex. Again. She was so fucking loud, you’d bet the whole building could hear her. Couldn’t she just shut the fuck up instead of advertising what a fucking slut she was?

Scrolling silently through your phone, you looked at all the pictures that it held from the last few months. Most of them were of her and Captain Rogers, though some were of her kids and that stupid idiot Barnes. While training at the Academy they taught you to hide your emotions and internal thoughts. Thank God, because pretending to care if that bitch lived or died was becoming tedious.

“Sounds like they’re having fun, huh?” The other agent sitting across the hall smirked and shrugged his shoulders, absorbed in a book.

“Yeah, guess so, I mean it is her birthday.” The knowledge that it would be her last made you smile to yourself. 

“I’m going to take a walk around. It’ll be good to move. Want anything?” When you saw his head shake, you logged into the app that recorded all the detail’s movements and fed directly to both the CIA and Avengers’ secure networks. After walking through the stairwell, checking out the lobby and sweeping the floors above and below, you noted your finding in the app - a big fucking goose egg, per usual. No surprise to you, of course, but you had to keep up the act, for now.

You were good at your job, having done it for over 10 years. Your record was spotless, your service jacket filled with commendations and honors, with a reputation for bravery and loyalty. You worked with Captain Rogers frequently since he returned and always found him to live up to his back story, but it was still somewhat of a surprise to your colleagues when you volunteered for transfer to this detail, knowing it would be long periods of tedium followed by brief, if any, action. Your response was that you wanted a change of scenery and some more consistency, instead of the constant upheaval of a field agent’s typical life. New York was your home, so being near your creature comforts, old haunts, and even older friends and associates made this job, as well as your real one, much easier.

Your partner spotted you looking bored. “Let me guess, nothing, right?”

“Well, other than the 10 terrorists I took out in the lobby that you slept right through, nothing.” 

He gave you a look. “Don’t say that too loud, you know how Barnes is; he’ll rip you a new one if he hears you making a joke on duty.”

“Why do you think we’re still here? We’ve been on this detail for a long time and none of us, on any of the shifts, have ever found a thing, that I know of. I mean, we’re getting paid no matter what, but is she just a drama queen? Is Rogers just being paranoid?”

“Look, how am I supposed to know? I appreciate the money, the relatively low chance of getting killed, and the ability to read a book every once in awhile. Just appreciate it, buddy.”

“Yeah, you’re right. So, how’s the book?”

After talking awhile, you both reverted to silence. You took out your phone, a carbon copy of the one issued to you by Barnes on your first day, and checked your messages via one of many untraceable dummy email accounts you had. The phone was a burner, so if you ever had to drop it quick, it couldn’t be traced back to you. 

You opened a few emails, nothing of importance, until you starred one for reading later, at home. You updated the off-site teams and Barnes when he did his last check-in of the night, right before the new shift arrived. You made your way home, stopping at the store on the way home for a bottle of vodka and a 6-pack. 

When you arrived home, you were finally able to breathe as you put away your work stuff and sat in front of the TV with a drink. You took out the burner phone and re-read the starred email:

Weber,  
Empfangen Intel und übergeben es weiter. Erwarten Sie mindestens 3 mögliche Szenarien für die Kündigung innerhalb der nächsten Woche. Sie werden von uns hören, bevor der Prozess beginnt.  
Heil Hydra

Weber,  
Received intel and passing it on. Expect to provide at least 3 potential scenarios for termination within the next week. You will hear from us before trial begins.  
Hail Hydra

Now that was going to be fun. Finally.  
_________________________________________________________________________

As John and Sue’s wedding date approached, the girls became increasingly excitable. Though you tried to keep the focus on their father and soon-to-be wife, each dress fitting, rehearsal, and planning session was followed by questions about when you and Steve were getting married and when you were all moving. You didn’t have answers, and you could tell it was bothering Steve. One night, when the two of you were alone, you called out the elephant in the room.

“What’s eatin’ at you, Cap? You look like you’ve got something you want to say.” You came over and sat on the floor in front of him.

He hung his head and let out a big breath. “Do you want to marry me?”

You felt like you’d been slapped. “Of course! Why would you even ask that?”

“We’ve been engaged for awhile now, and every time someone - me, the girls, your friends - brings up planning the wedding, you change the subject. I started wondering if it was because you’d changed your mind.” He wouldn’t look at you.

You placed your hand on that granite jaw, moving it towards your face so he could see your eyes. You saw fatigue, but worse, fear. You moved to hold his hands in yours and spoke every word like it was your last. “Steve, I’m so sorry if you’ve felt ambivalence or anything other than 100% total commitment to becoming your wife. I have so much faith in us, so much love for you, I actually dream about it every once in awhile.” That finally made him smile, a bit. “All I’ve been trying to do is steer folks towards thinking about John and Sue. I don’t want to be in any way responsible for taking the spotlight from them on their big day. I guess I swung too far over to that side, and as a result, didn’t give us enough time and attention. I am so, so sorry.”

“Really? You mean it? You’re not having second thoughts?” Your heart spasmed when you realized what he must have been thinking.

“No. The only thoughts I have are about how lucky I am, how much I love you, and how each day we wait is one day less I’m not your wife.” He kissed you and spoke, the glint in his eyes telling you he heard what you said.

“Well, why don’t we do something about that? Why don’t we pick a date?” 

You took out your tablet and opened to the calendar. “Great idea. I guess maybe we could work backwards. If we know what kind of wedding you want, we can figure when.”

“What do I want? This is our wedding, babe, the question should be what do we want?” You had to laugh. You’d already done the white dress and big church thing, but you didn’t want to take that from him if that’s what he wanted.

“I guess I want you to feel like the day fulfills any thought you’ve had about what you imagined your wedding would be like. Honestly, for me, the point is not the day, it’s the ever after, so I will do pretty much anything. All I want is something small, something with the most important people in our lives, and something that ends with me being Stephanie Rogers. How does that sound?”

He leaned forward to kiss you and promptly fell on top of you on the floor. While you both laughed, he kept moving away from wedding planning and towards wedding night practice. 

“Now who’s getting distracted, Captain Rogers? Come on, let’s get this done, so we can move on to the fun stuff.” He was adorable when he pouted.

Pretty quickly you agreed to have the ceremony in the late spring at the lake at the compound, where you had your first date. You would have a small reception at the cabin after, and he would be responsible for planning a honeymoon. Done. It gave you a couple of months to plan, and you knew you could enlist Pepper or her staff for most of the logistics. You felt giddy afterwards and attacked him right there on the floor, riding him until you both were spent. All you could say after was “Yum,” which always made him chuckle. Another hurdle cleared while a smaller one waited.

Though you were invited, you had decided not to attend John and Sue’s wedding. A little while before the big day, when all the planning was done and all the dresses were hanging in the closet, you and John went out to dinner, alone, for the first time in a long time, with Sue and Steve’s encouragement. You wanted to toast him, congratulate him, and wish him every happiness in the world.

The evening was nice, but bittersweet, for both of you. You reminisced about your wedding all those years ago and all the wonderful times since, stepping gently around any talk of the bad stuff that had happened. You held hands at the table, and by the end of the night, when he asked you to dance with him, you did. You cried, but the tears weren’t painful, just wistful. You loved each other, but it was different now - no longer romantic or passionate, but just the love of two people who had been through and made life together, had changed, and who accepted the other without judgement or regret. It was with that feeling of peace that you kissed him on the cheek before saying goodnight and walked home to Steve and the girls. 

You had grown so accustomed to the presence of the agents that it no longer felt strange to have two adults walking near you at all times. You considered most of them friends, and the rest, friendly. You regularly offered coffee, food, and use of your apartment for whatever they needed, and you trusted each and every one with your and your children’s lives. Regardless, you looked forward to the time when you didn’t have to be accompanied everywhere you went or keep looking over your shoulder.

Tonight’s detail, Agents Weber and Collins, were the people who seemed to be “on you” most often. They were professional and friendly, and as you rode up the elevator, you chatted about your ex’s remarriage, your plans with Steve for your wedding, and a million other inconsequential details about your life. The agents never shared much - whether due to their training and regulations or similar personalities, you didn’t know - but once in awhile you got a glimpse into their lives outside of protecting yours. Tonight, Agent Collins mentioned he had family visiting from his hometown. You listened carefully, asking questions and offering your help if they wanted to do the tourist thing. Agent Weber was always more guarded, keeping thoughts internalized and sharing very little, but was never rude or abrupt. It didn’t stop you from asking, though. “Where are you from, Weber? Do you have any family?”

“I grew up about an hour south in Jersey, little town, not much there. My parents are dead and my siblings live overseas. We don’t talk much.” That was more information than you’d ever heard at once, and you didn’t press for more. By the time you said goodnight and walked into your apartment, you had forgotten most of the conversation. It didn’t register that Weber was entering something on the phone all the agents carried, with an almost imperceptible smile. 

The weekend of the wedding, Bucky and a large portion of the agents were going to escort the girls, which meant you and Steve could get away. Bucky also volunteered to take pictures, but stopped short of agreeing to be in any of them. The girls assured you they would rope him in, somehow. They were so excited, they looked like they were going to short circuit, which you found adorable. You spent the night before all the fun started doing whatever they wanted. You melted when they both said they wanted to hang out with you and Steve, bake cookies,and watch movies of their choice. You warned Steve that meant heavy on the hottest actors wearing the skimpiest outfits or cute and animated animals. It was always a toss up.

That night, it was a Disney marathon, reliving the movies they (and you) had grown up on. While the three of you sang every single word to all the songs, Steve watched and smiled. When the girls started talking about their memories of seeing the movies, all including their Dad, you smiled and reminisced with them. Before they went to bed, each girl, in their own way, took the time to make sure you were okay, that they weren’t hurting you by being with their Dad and Sue, and that you would be okay during the celebrations. No surprise that you cried proud tears. After thanking them for their thoughtfulness, you told them you were 100% okay and Steve assured them he would take care of you while they were gone. 

The morning the girls left, you took a lot of pictures, laughing as Bucky walked behind them holding their dress bags and suitcases. You really loved that guy. You were going to have to think about getting him hooked up with someone. You knocked on Steve’s door and when he opened it, you walked inside and greeted him with, “When’s the last time Bucky got laid?” You probably should have started differently since he spit his seltzer all over your shirt. 

“Sorry, babe, but Jesus! You don’t just throw that out there as soon as a fella opens his door. I have no idea!” You crossed your arms over your chest and smirked. You didn’t believe him for one single second.

“Hmmmmmm, no idea, huh? Interesting. You’ve been with him pretty much constantly since he woke up, you now live together, and you’ve been best friends for like 90 years and you have no idea what his sex life is like? I’m not asking for favorite positions or kinks, I just want to know if he’s seeing someone or interested in anyone. He is such a wonderful man, he deserves to be happy, and I know any number of women who would gladly sign up for that job.”

He smirked back at you. “Playing matchmaker, huh? Well, maybe I know a little, but you’ll have to torture me to get the goods.” He was such a dork, but you loved him for it. You were in the same place, arms crossed, when you let out a theatrically long sigh and rolled your eyes, making him double over with laughter.

“As much as I would love to be on the receiving end of it, the interrogation will have to wait. I promised the girls I would take care of you this weekend, so we gotta get on the road. We’re going to the cabin. I figured we could start talking to Pepper’s team about the wedding and have a nice long weekend there.” You kissed him tenderly and thanked him for being so thoughtful. “Let me just throw some stuff in a bag, give me 15 minutes.” As you walked back to your place he yelled after you, “Make sure you pack the good stuff, too!” 

You had to laugh. “Message received, Captain Obvious.” That went right over his head, only serving to make you smile wider.

When you pulled up to the cabin, you realized how long it had been since you’d been there and immediately felt relief and happiness wash over you. This was probably the safest place for you on Earth, one of the only places that you didn’t have to be constantly vigilant or have someone by your side every moment. You didn’t realize how much you’d missed that, how much your everyday life was filled with hyper-awareness, constant monitoring and checking, and a million different thoughts all at once.

The two of you got everything inside and spent awhile opening windows, lighting the fireplace, and sitting in front of the hearth near each other, just watching and being still. You never felt more quiet than when you were there.

“I love you, babe. Thank you for sharing this place with me. I like who I am when I’m here.”

“You’re welcome, and I like who you are no matter where you are.” He leaned in to kiss you and stayed close.

He pulled you to standing. “Come on, I want to show you something.” The sun was just about setting as you walked towards the back of the property, which you had never really explored before. He showed you some of the improvements he had already made - an outdoor fire pit surrounded by chairs and a “special surprise” - outdoor bluetooth speakers that Tony had shown him how to hook up to his phone, and as he said, we could listen “without wires!” You were so enthralled by his excitement, and thankful for it, too. You spent the evening sitting next to each other, watching the sunset and listening to his birthday gift - a digitized collection of the music he loved, and you had come to love.

Though “Unforgettable” wasn’t technically a song from the 40’s, you had introduced Steve to Nat King Cole and he loved listening to his music now. “Hey, what would you think of this as our wedding song? We both love it, and it’s great to dance to.” He looked at you with soft eyes and nodded. You walked over to him and sat on his lap, kissing him while you watched the fire die, the hypnotic effect eventually putting you to sleep in his arms. He gently kissed you awake, and led you back to the cabin after dousing the fire. You walked upstairs and were soon asleep, feeling very much like a married couple. That thought helped you stay asleep the entire night, with only good dreams to show for it.

Every once in awhile that weekend you got adorably captioned pictures from Bucky and the girls about the rehearsals, the wedding, the reception. You teared up when you saw pictures of the girls with their Dad, looking so happy, and with Sue, looking ecstatic. Your favorite pictures, though, were definitely the ones the girls took of themselves and Bucky. At one point, he had been convinced to dance with each of them, and those melted your heart. 

You were wrapped together in bed with Steve, looking through your skylights, the ones he wanted to give you, the reason he bought the house. You turned to him and kissed him. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I’d like to introduce Bucky to some of my friends. Even just one to start. C’mon, seriously - look at these pictures. He’s such a wonderful man, he deserves to have love in his life, and not just our family’s love.” 

Steve looked at you quietly, with a few solitary tears in his eyes. You let your thumbs push them aside, “What, baby? Why are you crying?”

“You said our family.” He kissed you so gently that you barely felt it. “I can’t ever remember a time when I didn’t want that, but from the time I came out of the ice until I met you, I didn’t believe I would ever have it.” Now you were crying too, as you hugged him as hard as you could. Finally, you laid your head on his chest and sighed. “Don’t you want Bucky to have the same thing, if that’s what he wants?”

Steve finally started to spill what he knew. “He would probably kill me if he finds out I told you this, but he hasn’t been with anyone since he woke up. When you and I met, you know he was the one who helped me work up enough courage to tell you how I felt. He told me more than once how lucky I was to meet a girl as great as you, and that he wished he could find someone, too. Then after he moved here, the work took up all his time, and he hasn’t really mentioned it since.”

“Has he ever mentioned anyone he was attracted to? Anyone he’s met lately that he felt he had chemistry with, or that he wanted to take out? I don’t know, Steve, I just feel like I know so many women who would fall head over heels for someone as gorgeous as Bucky, who is also possibly one of the sweetest and chivalrous men around. Second to you, of course.” You kissed him, “I get the first Super Soldier all to myself.” 

“Damn right you do, and don’t you ever forget it. I’ve heard him comment about how pretty some women are, or how smart, but we can talk about that later.” He laid on his back and pulled you on top, letting his eyes and hands turn your entire body into jelly.  
_________________________________________________________________________

“Weber, report.” Barnes was checking in for the thousandth time that night at the reception venue.

“Weber here. Nothing to report, Sergeant. All quiet. Perimeter checks clear, building sweep clear on every level, all guests are reported for and checked out. Report logged at 2200 hours.”

“Okay, good. Report verified. Thanks, Weber, sign out and hand it over to the next shift. See you tomorrow.”

As usual, you put the safety on your service revolver, signed out of comms and on the duty log before updating the next shift and heading home. Your mind was focused on one thing, completing your assignment, and finishing up all the details before your report was due to your superiors. Your real superiors. 

When you got back home, you logged into your email and started typing in German, your first language.

Herr,  
Es wurden Szenarien erforscht und Optionen mit den größten Erfolgschancen skizziert und angehängt. Das Ziel hat Termine für die bevorstehende Hochzeit, Ort der Zeremonie, sowie einige Teilnehmer gemeldet. Dies wird zum frühestmöglichen Zeitpunkt verifiziert. Mit größtem Respekt empfinde ich dies demütig als Plan A, da er das größte Erfolgspotential sowie Möglichkeiten für Kollateralschäden hat. Wenn das Ziel eliminiert ist, wird die Studie höchstwahrscheinlich aufgrund fehlender direkter Beweise hinausgeworfen. Dies ermöglicht die Suche nach Dr. Erskines Formel ungehindert und ohne staatliche Eingriffe.

Ich freue mich darauf, dieser Mission mit größtem Eifer zu dienen und, falls nötig, mein Leben zu geben, um es zu sehen.  
Heil Hydra

Sir,  
Scenarios have been explored and options with greatest chance of success outlined and attached. The target has reported dates for the upcoming nuptials, location of ceremony, as well as several attendees. This will be verified at earliest possible date. With greatest respect, I humbly suggest this as Plan A, as it has the most potential for success as well as opportunities for collateral damage. With the target eliminated, the trial will most likely be thrown out due to lack of direct evidence. This will allow the search for Dr. Erskine’s formula to continue unimpeded and without government interference. 

I look forward to serving this mission with the greatest zeal and to give my life, if necessary, to see it through.  
Hail Hydra,  
Weber

After pressing send, you continued to thumb through the camera roll on your personal phone, focused on the one you took during Captain Rogers’ most recent run. You fell asleep with the thoughts of how you were going to end that bitch’s life and make them all pay for what they’d done to you. To you and yours.


	20. Here Comes the Bride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting prepared for a wedding was a lot of work, unless you were lucky enough to be marrying into the Avengers, with access to the unbelievable Pepper Potts and her team of planners. You were able to focus on enjoying yourself, and becoming Mrs. Steven Rogers. Your friends and loved ones showered both you and Steve with attention and fun events, all leading up to the Big Day - but will Big Bad make an appearance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! (hides behind hands). I am so sorry it has taken so long for this update. Life has definitely been crazy - work, home, health - all the things that could act up, did, making this story the last on the “to-do” list. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and just plunged into finishing it. I would really love to hear your feedback - honestly, it makes my day to read what people are kind enough to take the time to write. I’ve already chopped off a bunch to put in the next chapter, because I was nearing 9,000 words with no end in sight. I didn’t want to chain you to your screen for too long! As always, @MsEnglish101 is just the best beta I could ever ask for - encouraging, smart, funny, and all-around awesome. Thanks again and enjoy. :)

In your rush to be realistic and pragmatic, you had truly forgotten what it was like to get swept up in a happy event, let alone one at which you were the center.  All the wonderful people in your life seemed to have made a pact that they were going to make it impossible for you to be down-to-earth - they all encouraged you to think about yourself and Steve, to make this wedding about the two of you, and to enjoy every single minute.  It was a heady feeling that neither you nor Steve were completely comfortable with, but slowly got used to.

 

You had delegated all the little details to Pepper and her team - invitations, music, tents and chairs - all taken on with an unbridled enthusiasm that bordered on religious zeal.  The only promise you extracted from them was to keep it intimate and understated.  You knew this would be a challenge so you also asked to review all decisions before any plans were finalized.  Not surprisingly, not having to figure out or plan anything actually made the process fun.  You got to take care of the deeply personal decisions that meant something to you, like music and flowers.

 

Steve and Bucky had asked for your help in deciding what they would wear.  That was easy - you told them you’d always swooned at the sight of men in their uniforms, and though Bucky was reluctant to wear one again, they both agreed.  After Pepper said she would handle getting both men fit for new dress uniforms and the rest of the groomsmen their suits, the two men took you out to lunch.  Though Maria, Ally, and Jen were coming with you and the girls to pick out a dress later on, you thought you’d see if Steve had any opinion.  

 

“What’s your thought on me wearing white, love?” 

 

Bucky smirked, “Isn’t that supposed to represent virginal purity? I think that train left the station a long time ago.”

 

You laughed while Steve smiled and punched him in the arm.  “Hey, that’s my future wife you’re talking about!”

 

“Hey punk, quit it!  She has two children for pete’s sake! It’s not like I’m going to ruin her reputation!”

 

“No, Buck, I’ve done that all on my own.  This man has totally destroyed any credibility I had in the virginal purity department.  Just ask our neighbors.”

 

“Yeah, no kidding.  I  _ am _ one of your neighbors.  You two need to move out to the countryside where you’re alone.  You’re giving some of us nightmares.”   
  


Steve was turning a bright shade of crimson which only made you and Bucky laugh harder.  He cleared his throat, trying to get your attention and bring order to the chaos.  He turned towards you in an attempt to ignore Bucky.

 

“To answer your question, you look gorgeous no matter what you’re wearing, so I think you should go with whatever color you want.”  You figured he might say that, so you thanked him and planted an enthusiastic kiss on his lips, purposely making Bucky squirm.

 

When you and your girl crew, which had grown to include Pepper and Wanda, accompanied you to a few local bridal salons, you tried on dress after dress, all different styles and a rainbow of colors.  Though they were all beautiful in their own way, none of them was “the one.”

 

“Well, what is it that you’re looking for?” Jen was always so level-headed.  The rest of the group turned towards you. You absolutely hated being the center of attention and you despised shopping so this task was something you wish you could avoid altogether, even though it was for a joyful occasion.  You wished you could just order a dress online and hope for the best, but the outcry would be heard across the land if you told that to this group. 

 

“Well, I want the earrings and necklace that are part of my engagement ring set to be the center of attention. We’re getting married right before sunset, so I want it to look sexy but tasteful and show off any assets I have.  I think I know what I want.” You proceeded to show them some screenshots you’d saved and were whisked away to more stores for more trying on and more searching.  At some point, you reached your limit.

 

“Ladies, I love you all.  I am indebted to you for your support and your patience.”

 

Ally, Maria, Jen and your girls said, in unison, “BUT?”  You smiled, laughing at how predictable you were.

 

“BUT - I am done.  I cannot look at another dress today.  I feel like if I do, I will turn into my version of Cinderella’s stepmother.  Can we  _ please _ go get dinner? Please?

 

Pepper invited everyone to Stark Tower, where you all sat around talking and laughing and censoring  - for the sake of the girls.  When they fell asleep on the couch, Pepper set the three of you up in the room Steve used when he stayed there and the rest of the women in other guest suites.  While reading in bed, you smiled as you saw Steve was calling.

 

“So, did you find ‘it’?”

 

“No.  Frankly, I was so burned out by the end of the day that I was ready to go online and order something, but they almost lynched me when I even hinted at it.  Men have it so much easier.” It was nice to fall asleep with visions of beautiful dresses, surrounded by the scent that could only be from the love of your life.  

 

Waking up the next morning, you read an email from Pepper’s assistant, asking if you were available later that afternoon to meet about wedding plans.  After the girls departed with Maria and the crew, you rode up to the top floor, where Pepper’s army did their magic.  Walking into the office, you noticed someone you’d never met before speaking with Pepper and quietly took a seat in another part of the room.  

 

“Steph!  I’m so glad you’re here.  I want to introduce you to a dear friend, Christian.  He’s a designer who has gained quite a bit of fame lately for creating stunning creations for women on all parts of the beauty spectrum.”  You thought that was a very nice way to say he made clothes for women who didn’t appear in fashion magazines- you know, regular people like you.  You introduced yourself and mentioned you could stop back a bit later after their meeting concluded, which made Pepper smile.

 

“He’s here to meet with you.  I called him last night when I thought designing your dream dress would be totally up his alley.  Why don’t the two of you chat a bit and figure out if you could work together?”

 

You were stunned.  You never imagined someone making a dress just for you, but you knew you could not afford that.  You excused yourself for a moment and pulled Pepper aside, sharing your concerns about the price.  She immediately shushed you and said Christian’s agent had been trying to get her and Tony to wear his clothes for ages and that creating your dress would be a perfect way for that to happen - not to mention the free publicity he would get with his designs being featured at your wedding.  You were always amazed how having money begot getting stuff for free.  You thanked her profusely and sat down with Christian to talk and plan.  By the end of the afternoon you had lost track of how many times he measured you.  He was wonderful to talk to and had several ideas that he was going to mock up and show you by the end of the week.  Even though you didn’t want to pretend you were a celebrity, it was pretty amazing to be treated like one.

 

No matter how absorbed you were in the wedding, your thoughts kept drifting to the upcoming trial of your abductors.  Their trial date had been set, and you started to receive official legal documents requiring your presence, and subsequent testimony, in court.  To Steve and the team, this was familiar territory, but the only familiarity you had with the legal process was thanks to your college obsession with Law & Order.  You followed Steve’s advice and diverted everything to your lawyers, which helped to keep the process at arm’s length, remove it from your day-to-day life, make it less immediate and therefore, less real.  That wasn’t going to last, though.  When the trial prep started with the lawyers, it got very real, very quickly.   

 

Part of the process was to review every single detail of the ordeal from beginning to end.  You had to do it on your own, as the team wanted to get an uninterrupted and unvarnished first-hand account.  Yippee.  Thankfully, enough time had passed that it wasn’t quite as raw to remember it as it once was.  Just as you had seen on TV time and time again, the lawyers questioned you as if you were the defendant, which was not fun, but necessary.  Steve was brought in to prepare his testimony, requiring him to explain the reason you were kidnapped and how he got you back, which was clearly a painful undertaking.  It was the first time you heard the story of Erskine’s formula from the beginning, and if you hadn’t experienced it first hand, you would have called it ludicrous. 

 

Eventually, the line of questioning came to the present day.  You all knew whomever was behind your kidnapping was not given the real piece of the formula they desired, but you had never questioned Steve about the consequences of that action and any “what ifs” that might come about as a result.  You felt the agents took away most of the need to worry, and frankly, you didn’t want to know, but the lawyers did not have that luxury.  They needed to know everything so they could be prepared for every contingency in court.  After explaining what the backup plan was, you didn’t feel much better, but trusted that Steve and Bucky would only put the plan into action if necessary.  

________________________________________________________________________

 

That idiot Barnes was going over the wedding prep, again.  God, couldn’t he think of anything else?  It was still 2 weeks away, but he had reviewed every single detail so often you felt as if you were going to puke.  The agents on duty and their backups all toured the site of the ceremony and reception, identifying any and all trouble spots that might provide cover for undesirable guests.  Though Barnes was thinking about press, you knew his unspoken priority was the people with truly sinister motives.  There was going to be a significant amount of weaponry at this wedding, hiding in plain sight.  You found it funny that they had no idea the most dangerous weapon of all was you.

 

“Weber, you with us?” You snapped your head towards Barnes and nodded, “Sorry, Sergeant.  Thinking of routes in and out of each corner of the compound.”

 

“Good idea.  Wanna share your thoughts after I’m done?”

 

“Sure, boss.  Whatever you say.” 

 

The ways in and out were definitely on your mind - you knew you were going to need them that day, but you were also prepared to take your own life if that was the only choice.  You had proposed a plan and were waiting to hear from your superiors with the final tweaks.  So far, you had only minor suggestions and corrections - your idea to take out that stupid cow at her own wedding had been met with neutrality, which was practically a glowing endorsement.  You felt the pride swell in your chest, finally able to prove to yourself that you were worthy of your family name.  Finally able to prove to everyone that you and yours did not deserve to be history’s footnote or victim.

 

When Barnes finished blathering on about the job, he stopped you and asked you to share your thoughts.  After pointing out several of his own ideas that you silently filed away, he agreed to run some drills in the next week.  You asked if anyone was going to sit down with the bride and groom to prepare them for the day, to let them know what they could do in case of trouble.

 

“Since I’m going to be up there with Steve, along with three other Avengers, I figure that if anything happens, Steph and the girls will have the best protection front and center.  We know what to do, Weber, we’ve been through a hell of a lot worse.”

 

“Whaddya think is going to happen that day, Sergeant?  Any hits on potential risks?”

 

“We’ve got a few whispers, but nothing solid.  Romanoff passed on the latest from the pharmaceutical company that we know was responsible for the kidnapping, but just can’t make the final connections between them and the guys they paid to do the job.  They were very careful, which is no surprise, but Romanoff is the best I’ve ever seen.  If anyone can find the connection, it’ll be her.”

 

“What does she need to make that link?  Anything our detail can do to help?  I’d be happy to work with her if need be, if you want to reassign me.”

 

“That’s a nice offer Weber.  I’ll remember that if the time comes.  You’ve been critical to the success of this detail.  Never missed a day, always followed orders to the letter, always kept your eye on everything.  If I wasn’t here, I never worried if you were on duty.”

 

Your wide smile was real as you reveled in his praise, knowing it meant you had done exactly what you had been asked to do - laid the groundwork for the decimation of the Avengers and the resurrection of HYDRA as a dominant force for destruction.  The years you’d spent training and gathering all the intelligence you could were about to pay off in the best possible way.  Barnes responded to your smile by slapping his hand on your shoulder and dismissing you for the night.

 

You were smart enough to know that any and all data streams in and out of the Avengers compound were monitored and recorded.  This wasn’t your uncle’s firewall that could be cracked with his birthday password, this was the most advanced stronghold of artificial intelligence on the planet and your computer skills, though good, were no match for it.  You knew that in order to report in, which you were required to do daily, you would have to leave the compound and go far enough away that your phone would not register on Stark’s network.

 

You logged out of your shift and told your partner that you were heading into town.  You were all being asked to look like wedding guests for the big day and of course, any purchases would be a reimbursed job expense, so you figured you would get that stupid task done.  After finding a suitable outfit that allowed you to easily conceal your weapons, you walked further through the small shopping center and paid for an internet hotspot rental, using one of your alias identities, complete with email address, credit card, and picture ID.  After running your information through several international data hubs, you felt confident that your coded message would not be intercepted.

 

Sir, 

Plans have been finalized at this end and await your approval.  I have complete physical and logistical access to the primary and collateral targets, multiple escape routes to both domestic and foreign HYDRA safe houses, and confidence in the successful completion of this mission.  I humbly report that Romanoff and Barnes are aware of the maneuvers of other local operatives and have increased security around all relevant parties.  I await your orders and look forward to serving you and HYDRA and finally bringing glory to our long-suffering family.

Heil Hydra

 

As you pressed “send” and looked down at your bag of clothes, you thought back on how you arrived at this place.  How Steve Rogers ruined your family name, livelihood, and chances for greatness.  You relished the retribution that was coming.

_________________________________________________________________

 

Over Steve’s objections, Tony and company had planned a bachelor party that would put all others to shame.  Steve pleaded with him to no avail, telling him he had no interest in seeing anyone naked but you, and that he would not be able to look you in the eye as you walked down the aisle if anything happened that he would regret.  When he talked to you about it, he already looked guilty. Tony wouldn’t budge and Steve was planning to boycott his own party.  

 

You wanted to take him seriously, but you also wanted him to enjoy himself, whatever that entailed.  On the day of your last dress fitting at Stark Tower, you wandered around and found Tony where he often was, tinkering in his lab and talking to himself and FRIDAY.  When he saw you knocking at the door with a shy smile and wave, he let you in and gave you a huge hug.

 

“What the hell are you doing here?  Aren’t you supposed to be getting whisked away to some secret-but-maybe-not-so-secret-because-Pepper-told-me-I-had-to-pay-for-it girls trip?

 

“Yes, and I wanted to thank you. You and Pepper have done everything to make this so easy and stress-free. I definitely did not enjoy this process as much the first time around.  I’m hoping Steve had as much fun as I did, because his days of fun are numbered once I get the shackles on him.”  You both laughed and in a rare moment of seriousness, Tony kissed your cheek.

 

“If there’s one thing I know about Cap it’s that there is nowhere else he’d rather be than with you.  If that meant a cave, a prison, the top of a mountain, he would do whatever it takes to be by your side.  Shackles are nothing.  In fact, who knows, it might turn the old man on?”  You smiled while cringing.

 

“Seriously, Tony, thank you, for everything.  We can never repay what you’ve given us - but that’s not going to stop me from asking one more favor.”

 

“Let me guess - a videographer for the wedding night?  Round-the-clock access to my private video library?  What? Am I getting close?”

 

“No, the favor is for Steve.  He really doesn’t want to do the whole stag party naked girls thing.  You know that, right?  He told me what you guys had been hinting at, but I was hoping it was all a ruse and you’d end up smoking cigars at the WWII memorial and blowing stuff up, just like a day at work.  You don’t have to tell me the specifics.  In fact, please don’t, I don’t want to have nightmares.”

 

“Oh, yeah, the specifics are nightmare inducing, that’s for sure.”

 

“Since Steve enlisted my help and I still can’t tell if you’re serious or not, I thought I would ask you to reconsider before calling in the big guns.” You scrolled through your contacts and held up the phone to your ear.

 

“Hey, Pepper.  I have Tony here and I need your help.  Remember I told you Steve was losing it over the possibility of a traditional bachelor party?  Well, I’m asking Tony to keep it more Veteran’s Association BINGO night and less “Avengers Gone Wild.”  Since my ability to decipher his bullshit is nowhere near as good as yours, I was wondering if you could help me out and talk to him for a minute?  I’m not looking for a church picnic, just hoping he doesn’t terminally embarrass Steve.”

 

After she promised him they would “talk” later, you considered your mission accomplished, kissed and hugged Tony, and went to finish packing for the trip no one would tell you about, other than what you needed while you were gone, which wasn’t much.  This time Natasha wanted to join you, as you knew how close she and Steve were, and wanted to honor her as part of his family.  

 

You were thrilled that Pepper invited your girls - they were co-maids of honor after all - and a bunch of their friends that were your regular house guests.  You loved the idea that they could celebrate with you, but that you wouldn’t have to worry about them if the party became a little more adult.  A few nights before leaving, you and Steve had some time together while the girls stayed over at their Dad and Sue’s house.  You both wanted to relax and have a little quiet time together before the wedding craziness geared up.  

 

You smiled when he chose a WWII drama, and melted when he surprised you with Tony’s pizza and dessert from the same pastry shop where he proposed (and that was making your wedding cake).   So much of your time recently was taken up with work, the girls and their schedules, and the wedding, that you felt the reason for all the happiness - your relationship - had been neglected a bit.  As you both cleaned up after dinner and settled on the couch for the movie, you leaned into Steve and sighed happily as he wrapped his arm around you.  Growing up, you watched a lot of historical dramas with your Dad and tonight’s selection was very familiar to you, but for Steve it was new.  You loved watching him react to the movie’s dramatic, and at times, tender story.  You changed your position so you could watch Steve and the movie, but in minutes you were only looking at him.  As his hand absentmindedly rubbed your stomach - the hands that you dreamed about - you laughed then got quiet.  He noticed the way your expression changed as your thoughts changed.

 

“Steve, have you ever thought of us having a baby together?”  

 

He stopped the movie and looked at you. “That sounds like there’s more to that question.  Why do you ask?”

 

“Because I have, and I love the idea, but I don’t know that I want to or even can, and that worries me.”

 

He just watched you with those eyes, his hand moving under your shirt with more purpose.  “C’mon, there’s more.”

 

“It’s one of the things I think will make you upset or resentful in the long term.”

 

“To be honest, yes, I’ve thought of it, and since we got engaged, even more so.  I think about walking in to see you after having been away for a long time, and when you turn around to face me you’re pregnant. I can’t even tell you how much that turns me on.”

 

The sweet fantasy made you quiet while you contemplated.  “Steve, maybe I would feel different if I wasn’t so old, if I hadn’t already been doing this for 16 years.”  He looked at you with his eyebrows raised, challenging your idea of what “old” meant.

 

“I don't mean I'm old, I mean women only have so much time to have babies, and my window is closing.  Yes, I still have my period, as you know, and we use protection,  but…” He stopped your rambling with a kiss.

 

“Steph, it's a fantasy.  If we had met each other at another time in our lives, maybe this would be in the cards, but honestly, I feel so lucky to have found you and the girls, it hasn't occurred to me to seriously discuss having a baby together. So, no need to stress - you can breathe.”  You took his advice.  “Doesn't mean we can't babysit for people who have babies.  That's fun - all the cuteness for a short period of time without any of the hard parts.”  You loved the sound of his laugh.  

 

As you stood up from the couch and straddled his bent legs, you were reminded how lucky you were to have this man in your life.  You gave him a long kiss that had his hands moving under the back of your shirt.  “It doesn’t mean we can’t continue to practice though, right?”  His return kiss was your answer as he leaned your torso back and started kissing your neck and moving down your chest.  You tried to encourage him to take you to the bedroom, but he was perfectly content ravaging you right there.  You weren’t about to complain.

 

Afterwards, when you moved to the bedroom and were so close to sleep that you felt like you could not keep your eyelids open for one more second, Steve whispered against your hair how much he loved you and how much he wanted to be your one, forever.  He woke you up gently the next morning, kissing your shoulders and rubbing all the parts of you that weren’t plastered against him.  You whimpered about being tired and how it was all his fault. 

 

“Hey beautiful.  Maria  _ and _ Pepper just texted me to make sure you were up and ready to go.  I’m not scared of much, but the thought of making both of those women upset certainly comes close.  I guess they are sending a car for you in 2 hours?”

 

“Yes.  That leaves at least another hour I can sleep.  I’m all packed, just need to shower and get dressed.  Won’t take me long.”  You turned away from him, but he started to tickle you, which you thought was completely unfair.  You kicked him in the struggle and he held your hands down while he laid on top of you.  You didn’t have to be a genius to figure out what his intentions were.  

 

“Hey, I thought there was something about saving oneself for the wedding night?”  You could not keep a straight face as his hips started to move slowly into yours.

 

“We broke that tradition a long time ago,” his voice rough, like he could barely get the words out.

 

As he kissed you mercilessly, not letting you move against him, touch him, or wrap your legs around him, you gave up any pretense of resistance and gave in to everything he wanted to do.  Afterwards you were barely conscious, but had to jump out of bed in order to take a shower and be on time to meet the car.  When you glanced over at him as you ran around like a maniac, he had his cocky grin on.  “I love it when I make you forget everything.  It’s probably one of my best talents.”  A quick kiss later, you were on your way to the airport.

 

Bucky had assigned two, 2-agent teams to go with you on the trip, and you had requested Weber and Collins be one of them.  You felt like both were friends, and you figured that this might be like a mini-vacation for them - it was the least you could do.  After take-off, you spent some time making sure they were included in conversations and were enjoying themselves.  You saw Weber smile, a rare event, and that made you very happy.

 

You woke up as the plane landed and were impressed at the difference between a private and commercial flight.  No lines, no waiting, no problems - you could definitely get used to this lifestyle.  When the door opened, you were immediately hypnotized as you saw the most beautiful blue skyline.  You heard the flight attendants say “Welcome to Turks and Caicos,” and you smiled, betting that Maria, Jen, and Ally had told Pepper that it was on your bucket list.  You turned to Pepper and gave her a huge hug, thanking her for the first of a thousand times that weekend.

 

There was no limit to the beauty or luxury of the trip. Your hotel was on the beach, there was an infinity pool, the food was glorious, the entertainment unparalleled and the hospitality perfect.  The days went by too quickly, with time every day for your girls and their friends to go on supervised adventures, and for you to hang out with your best girlfriends and your Avengers ladies, doing exactly what you wanted to - read, swim, and take in the beauty all around you.  You texted Steve, and asked him what the guys finally decided on for his bachelor party, but wasn’t surprised when you didn’t hear back.  

 

One night, when you’d had a few too many hours in the sun, coupled with way too many beverages, you fell victim to some very adult questions about your love life.  Thankfully, the young members of the group were happily ensconced in their rooms, watching movies and eating pizza.  Inspired by the wedding scene in “The Godfather” where Sonny’s wife uses her hands to demonstrate the size of his….equipment….they all started to howl with laughter as you tried to explain the mechanics of giving head to a man of his size and they all started sharing the stories of their own love life.

 

“Hey, Ally, what about you?  You haven’t talked about anyone special in  _ ages. _ ” Though she didn’t say anything, she turned bright red, just begging to be hounded for more information.  No matter what any of you did, all she would say is that she had her eye on someone, but didn’t want to say anything until she was more sure of how she felt.  Later that night, after you had a delicious nighttime swim and the alcohol had worn off, you visited her room to confirm a hunch.

 

“It’s Bucky, isn’t it?”  You were bursting with excitement at the thought.  She turned that same shade of red and though she didn’t speak, she didn’t deny it.  You had seen the two of them talking at some get-togethers you had at your house and something made you notice.

 

“Please, Steph, please don’t say anything to anyone.  We’ve had coffee a few times, but that’s it.”

 

“How? When? Who asked who? Have you kissed?”  She laughed.  “At your engagement party he and I just started to talk, since you told me we were both in the wedding.  At the end of the night he walked me to my cab, and held the door open for me.  I gave him my number, he texted me a few days later and we’ve met for coffee every week since.”

 

You looked at her, “.....and….you’re conveniently forgetting the last part of my question?”  She looked like she was sunburned, she was so red.

 

“Yes, we kissed - but that’s all!  He’s been a perfect gentleman.”

 

“I’m going to kill him for not telling me!!!  The man is my next door neighbor and knows all of my personal business - it’s only fair I know his!” You laughed at that, but she looked somewhat scared.

 

“Steph, we purposely didn’t tell you or Steve.  We just wanted to take it super slow and not be on everyone’s radar.  We’ve both got a lot of things we’re working through, and we don’t want lots of expectations or advice right now - you know what I mean?”

 

You hugged her.  “Yes, of course, love.  I just am so beyond happy for both of you.  You are two of my favorite people, and you deserve happiness in any way, shape, or form.  You have my solemn word I will not say anything to anyone until you personally tell me it’s ok.  Can I at least corner Bucky and give him the “better-take-care-of-my-best-friend” lecture?”

 

She agreed to that, and after another hug, you returned to your room.  Agent Weber was outside your door, at the right place at the right time, as always.  You were about to say goodnight when you heard a question.

 

“Why did you want Collins and me to come?  Barnes told us you asked for us specifically.”

 

“Because I wanted you to have some fun, and I guessed you hadn’t had a vacation in awhile.”

 

“Thank you, that was very nice.  In case I forget, thanks for making me feel like I'm not an outsider, for once. Goodnight.”

 

You were so grateful to Pepper for a perfect pre-wedding vacation - you were relaxed, a bit tan, and just in general, happy.  You missed Steve, but Pepper told you that Tony’s real plans had been to go to the Baseball Hall of Fame and play on their recreation of Ebbets Field, original home of the Brooklyn Dodgers.  All the guys would goof around, drink beer, eat, and watch war movies while smoking cigars in the Hall of Fame’s auditorium.  You knew he’d be pretty damned happy with that.  You got a few pictures from Tony and Bucky later on that also included some scantily clad women in a racy version of the original Dodgers uniform, and you had to laugh as your guy looked like he was going to die.  You were actually really happy that he had that many people who wanted to make him happy.

 

You were all a little remorseful to leave paradise, but it was lessened by the excitement that your wedding was fast approaching.  Pepper and her team had every detail nailed down, from the clothes for the entire wedding party, the food, the coordination of getting everyone there - it was amazing.  All you had to do was basically show up and follow directions and you’d be Mrs. Steve Rogers before you knew it.

 

When you rolled your suitcase off the elevator after you were dropped off, you knocked on Steve’s door, but when no one answered, asked the agents to let you into your place and proceeded to take a very hot shower.  As you stepped out, you heard movement in the living room and for just a moment, got scared.  You hadn’t had a flashback or nightmare in awhile, so it surprised you.  Then you thought rationally and realized the armed agents at the door would have made a *slight* fuss if they didn’t know who it was.  You called out, and were surprised, but happy, when Bucky responded.

 

You made sure no one else was around then ran out in your bathrobe, hugged him, and kissed his cheek.  “James Buchanan Barnes, you are in big trouble.”  He smiled shyly.  Clearly, Ally had told him you knew about them.

 

“I am so happy for you.  I know, no big deal, no expectations, taking it slow.  Don’t worry, my lips are sealed - but every moment of happiness both of you could find, no matter how brief, is beautiful to me.” 

 

“Thanks, Doll.  She’s pretty great to talk to, and she hasn’t run away screaming yet, so, yeah…..just trying to enjoy each time we go out without thinking about it too much.”  You kissed his cheek again and stepped back as the apartment door opened and Steve peeked in.  You weren’t sure, but you may have squealed as you hugged and kissed him.

 

“Hey soldier, what’s a guy like you doing in a joint like this?”

 

“Awwwww nothing ma’am, just looking for my best girl.  She agreed to marry me this weekend, and I’m just trying to make sure that was enough of a reason for her to come back from her island paradise.”  You laughed as you kissed him, and excused yourself to get some clothes on while he made dinner.  Yes, he was definitely a keeper.

 

The night was perfectly low key, which made it a great time to give him your wedding present in private. After you ate and caught up about your amazing getaways, you brought out a picture of one of his gifts.  He opened it and practically cried when he saw the row of 3 refinished chairs originally used at Ebbets Field.  You told him as soon as you saw them, you immediately thought they would be perfect at the cabin.  You were even more anxious to see him open the archival envelope that contained a yellowed program of the Dodgers game from May 1941 that he often talked about seeing, and the story of how that game was his first memory after he woke up from the ice.  It was protected, but he wanted you to see every single line as he reminisced. He was ecstatic. You had found both things through a collector to whom they had been left when their father died, and though he was hesitant to part with it, the fact it was going to Captain America finally swayed him.  You looked forward to emailing the man to thank him for parting with such precious memories and allowing you to make Steve so happy. 

 

“Steph, this is unbelievable.  It’s like being home again.”   
  


“Cap, you  _ are _ home.  Just wanted you to know how much that time in your life means to me and that I don’t ever want you to think that I don’t value it.  I owe so much to your mother, to Brooklyn, Bucky, and hell, even SHIELD - they made you the man I can no longer live without.”  He sighed and kissed you.  

 

“I’ll say it again.  How did I get so lucky to have you be my best girl, to agree to marry me?”   
  


“Well, you’re pretty cute, I’ll give you that.”

 

He laughed and brought out a gift for you.  “Steve, you gave me so many gifts - my ring, the earrings, the necklace - you didn’t have to get me anything else!”

 

“I know, but I wanted to.  Imagine how much of a dope I’d look like right now if I didn’t?”   
  


You opened the box and were, well, confused when you pulled out a newspaper and a large clasp-style envelope.  You looked at him and thanked him while you examined the newspaper and tentatively smiled.

 

He started to laugh, “You have no idea what this is, do you?  Look at the date.”  You did.  Nope, still no clue.  It wasn’t anyone’s birthday or anniversary, or anything that rang a bell.

 

“This newspaper was published the day we met.  After I bumped into you and went for my run, I stopped to buy a paper as usual.  For some reason, I kept it.  For 6 months I kept it, and each time I looked at it, I would feel this….warmth….remembering how flustered you looked and how much I wanted to get to know you better.”  You were definitely crying. 

 

He handed you the envelope and the tears flowed as you saw its contents.  Steve was a passionate artist.  You loved watching him draw, and you had squirreled away as many samples of his work as he would allow.  The envelope contained drawings that all featured you.  From the looks of them, most were done when you were unaware, or inspired by pictures - there was one from the lake while you laid on a blanket and looked at the stars, one of you in his favorite dress, one with the girls at the compound, and several more.  

 

“Steve, these are phenomenal and I love them.  You are so kind and so talented, but I don’t look like this...where is my messy hair, my makeup-less face, my…..” He put his hand on your mouth and stared at you with a look bordering on anger.

 

“Stephanie Elizabeth Rogers,” you smiled at that. “This is how you look to me.  You are the most beautiful woman in my life.  You know I love you, but I wanted to show you that I dream about you, I desire you, and that this sexy, gorgeous woman  _ is _ you.  I have this face,” he cupped your cheeks in his hands, “in my heart.  It’s what I think of when I hear the word ‘love’.”

 

Well, shit.  If that doesn’t make a woman need to sit down and compose herself, you didn’t know what would.  You held his hands that were still on your cheeks, leaned your foreheads together, and whispered your thanks while happy tears fell.  Though you’d expect to spend the rest of the night in bed, you both agreed that you weren’t going to sleep together until after the wedding.  It was tough, but it let you just be together and enjoy the calm before the storm.  Thankfully, you were blissfully unaware of how bad the storm would be.  

  
  



	21. Why?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big Bad isn’t dumb, and it’s bad for a reason. The story of how Agent Weber came to be in this position and came to despise Captain America and all he loves is part of a long and hateful history, part of the legacy of HYDRA. Weber’s lineage made it impossible to become anything other than a highly-trained ruthless double agent, with two goals in life - to initiate HYDRA’s resurgence as a force for destruction through the creation of an army of Super Soldiers, and to ensure the safety and security of the only person in life she held dear. Nothing would stop her from making these things happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI all! Sorry it’s taken so long to release this chapter - that’s what happens when you have a full-time job and are a parent - life gets in the way. I *really* thought this chapter was going one way when I started, but Weber’s backstory really sucked me in. Given that I hadn’t given much time to explain motivation and history, I took longer on it than i expected. I hope you all enjoy - I would love to hear your feedback, as always. The most wonderful and kind beta, MsEnglish101 always keeps me going, and thanks also to MsZombieCake for her help with the history, particularly the parts that pertain to German military titles, etc. That was invaluable and I hope makes the story more believable. Enjoy!

**Germany 1941**

 

“Frau Strucker, we must leave immediately.”

 

“No!  I will not leave without my husband and my son will not leave without his father.”

 

The sky over the camp burned red, smoke pouring out of the main building.  Soldiers ran with the unmitigated panic of those who knew their end was near.  Wilhelm Weber Strucker was only 13 years old, but remembered exactly what happened next.

 

His father, Wolfgang Strucker, was a favorite of Hitler and the Red Skull’s leader, Johann Schmidt.  Though his father never let him near Herr Schmidt, Wilhelm heard him and his mother whisper about his delusions and obsessions every night while they thought their son was asleep.  He learned early that Schmidt’s brand of loyalty was only to his insane vision of the future, full of super soldiers that carried out his - not the Fuhrer's - objectives.  Wilhelm learned early to keep his loyalties to those in power, not those trying to supplant them.

 

That night, while the air raid sirens wailed and Wilhelm saw the Americans invade the camp, a man - Captain America they called him - brought soldiers that destroyed his home, destroyed his father’s work, and put his beloved mother in danger.  Wilhelm thought of little else but to get away.  He grabbed his mother’s hand, pulling as hard as he could towards the waiting car outside the family home on the outskirts of the camp.  She was beside herself, screaming her husband’s name and searching the face of every single man who wore the same uniform.

 

Finally, his father’s 1st lieutenant found them and delivered a message.

 

“Frau Strucker, the General has sent me with an urgent message which he implores you to obey.  He says to leave immediately and to bring only Master Wilhelm and your locket.  He will find you at the rendezvous point as soon as possible.”  With that, Elsbeth Weber-Strucker and her son took a last look at the place they called home for 3 years and walked away.

 

Wilhelm was not sure how long it was before he saw his father again - in actuality it was months but it felt like an eternity.  He saw his mother’s attempts to ingratiate herself into their relocated home, but without her husband, she was treated like a common servant, and therefore, so was Wilhelm.  His mother was forced to work, which she did, only crying at night when she returned home to collect Wilhelm from a neighbor.  He did not tell her of the daily beatings he took from the older boys and the taunting from the girls, he simply remembered.  He knew one day his father would return and make everything right.  He had no idea that meant everything would change, again.

 

After school when returning from yet another schoolyard beating, this time with rocks thrown at him for good measure, and screams of “traitor!” ringing in his ears, Wilhelm saw the sight he had been praying for since that awful night they came to this place.  He saw his father walking towards him, and when he reached his son, saluted him as a proud member of the Reich, and was given the same salute in response.  When he walked towards the flat where he and his mother stayed, his father steered him towards the officers quarters.  

 

“Son, it is good to see you.  Your mother tells me of all your good work.  She also told me of the incidents with the other children.  You showed bravery, just as the son of the new commander of HYDRA would be expected.”

 

Wilhelm did not know what HYDRA was, and when he asked, his father quietly explained that the Fuhrer no longer trusted Schmidt, but wanted to continue the work of the Red Skull under a new name, with a new mission.  

 

“Great honor has been brought to our family name, Wilhelm.  I have been chosen to bring the Fuhrer’s vision to its zenith.  We will be called HYDRA, and the world will fear us.  They will know that we are an instrument of chaos for the Reich, and our legacy will live forever.  As my son, you will be the most important piece of that legacy.”

 

From then on, every moment of young Wilhelm’s days were spent training physically and mentally at his father’s side and being fully indoctrinated into the inner workings of HYDRA.  As Wilhelm grew, he continued to hear about Captain America and his Howling Commandos.  His hatred of those men never waned and grew exponentially with each German defeat.  By the time the Fuhrer committed suicide and the German army surrendered, the Struckers had left Germany.  His father knew what was coming, knew that Hitler’s days were numbered, and took his family to Asia to continue his work.  He joined forces with The Hand to form a new arm of HYDRA, which he eventually led.

 

Though he missed Europe, young Wilhelm, now a strong, fast, and smart young Aryan, found himself exhilarated by his new home.  He eagerly sought out the masters of the ancient Eastern disciplines and set himself to learning all he could, in order to better serve his father and HYDRA.  Wilhelm was being groomed to serve at his father’s side, and one day, take over for him.  He was assigned to missions of increasing importance, eventually leading a raiding party to the small African nation of Wakanda, to secure the rarest element in the world, vibranium.  By this time, Captain America had been lost to the sea, but the agency that sprung up after his death, SHIELD, took up his mantle.  The battle that ensued in Wakanda left Wilhelm with one good arm and an even darker heart, as his aspirations of taking over for his father were decimated.

 

As the years passed, Wilhelm was no longer in the field, but remained a loyal agent of HYDRA, working to plan and finance its missions and cement its spread into the West, particularly the United States.  He married and was moved to HYDRA’s newest post in Washington, D.C.  There he started a family and raised 4 children.  He considered them a blessing, but his favorites by far were his youngest - twins - daughter Elsbeth, called Ellie, after his dear, late mother and her brother William, given the American version of his own name.  

 

From the moment they could walk and talk they were trained to be model agents and to despise the legacy of SHIELD and Captain America, even though their home was in its shadow.  William showed near-genius ability in biology and genetics, while Ellie excelled in combat and espionage.  Her father immediately saw Ellie’s potential as a double agent and William’s as a scientific mastermind, and knew together they would be unstoppable.  Near the end of his life, Wilhelm entrusted his two youngest children with the secret that had been passed down to him, from his father.  He knew his time was limited, and made them sit with him while he took out a locked strongbox containing a single locket.

 

“When my mother and I were separated from my father, the only things we took with us were the clothes on our back and my mother’s locket.  She wore it every day, and I often begged her to open it and show me the pictures it contained of my father and me.  She always did, but never let me touch it.”  He opened the ancient lockbox and drew from it the locket.  The twins had only seen it in pictures of their grandmother and were taken aback when they saw it in person.

 

Ellie assumed her father would give her the locket, and was surprised when he handed it to William.  “My son, my scientist - this locket will secure your position as the greatest scientific mind in HYDRA history.”  Wilhelm’s gnarled and aging hands slowly pried open the locket, showing pictures yellowed and cracking with age.  With some struggle he popped open the back latch and out floated a piece of film.

 

“This is a part of the traitor Erskine’s super soldier formula.  You both know that before he betrayed his country and his blood by giving it to Captain America, he gave Johann Schmidt an experimental version.  It disfigured him, and only increased his delusions and mania, but it nonetheless allowed for the extraction and analysis of his enhanced DNA after Erskine defected.  Schmidt’s enhanced DNA was mapped, and all the elements were successfully identified, with the exception of two.  One is here, in this locket.  The other, implanted in Captain America after Erskine was killed.  Do you know what this means, my son?”

 

William’s eyes were wide as he processed what his father said. “It means we are one element away from finding the key to create an army of Super Soldiers.”

 

“Yes, and now you, my son, will carry on the search for the serum.  You will bring the next generation of Super Soldiers to life.”  He turned to Ellie and held out his hand.  “My sweet Ellie.  You are to protect your brother and work from inside SHIELD to bring it down.  You will be the commander of the new race of super soldiers.”  The twins looked at each other with pride in their eyes.  They had always known their lives belonged to HYDRA and this was the culmination of all their work, the beginning of a road to glory for them and for their family.  

 

In the subsequent years the twins were responsible for unparalleled growth within HYDRA.  All of Wilhelm’s children took his mother’s maiden name of Weber as their own, to reduce suspicion, particularly in Ellie’s circles.  They established CGS Pharmaceuticals with legitimate money, research initiatives, and scientists, with William Weber, Ph.D. at the helm.  To the scientific community and the world at large, CGS was an internationally-respected frontrunner in experimental treatments for blood cancers.  To the trusted inner few who understood its true mission, it was the culmination of the work of generations of their family.  

 

Ellie’s quest to infiltrate and infect SHIELD was successful, albeit slower.  After graduating near the top of her class at the training academy, she volunteered for the most dangerous posts over and over again.   She was the first female member of the agency’s Emergency Response Team, proving her worth in international emergencies so often that she was placed in charge of the unit, its recruitment, and its training.  Throughout her tenure she trusted no one.  To her supervisors and coworkers, she was an enigma - a beautiful woman with lethal skills, a brilliant mind, but no relationships - friendly or romantic.  As all attempts to get to know her were unsuccessful, she earned a reputation as an agent of unparalleled skill but a loner.

 

She never revealed her loyalties, even during the fall of SHIELD and the ensuing chaos.  As she told Wilhelm, it was not the time, as it did not meet their goal.  They needed to get the last piece of the formula from Captain America before they could destroy him - outing herself would serve no purpose.  Her brother understood and agreed, getting closer to creating the Super Solider serum with every passing year.  Eventually he shared with her that his work was at a crossroads, and he needed more of her help.

 

“We’ve got everything we need, except for the last element, the one Father said Erskine gave to Rogers.”

 

“It’s not possible to extrapolate the missing element?” his sister asked.

 

“That’s not how it works Ellie.  Even with the rest of the components identified, we need to at least be put on the right path of the missing element.  There are just far too many possibilities - it would take hundreds of top-level scientists years just to narrow the field.  We need to know what it is, and we need to get it from Rogers.”

 

His sister looked at him with an expression on her face that was very familiar.  “Then that’s what we do.  Give me a week or so to think about this.  If this is the only thing stopping us, then we will figure it out.”

 

The plan was deceptively simple.  Having proved her loyalty to whatever SHIELD was now, she was moved further up the ranks and was in charge of rooting out underground HYDRA cells.  Her double life was as natural to her as breathing - she handled both sides with ease, with only her brother knowing who she really was.  

 

If she worked backwards from the end goal - getting the missing element from Captain America - she knew this could be achieved through his death or its forcible removal from his body while he was alive or subdued in some manner.  Ellie knew first-hand the folly in underestimating Rogers, and that the only feasible option was for him to give it up willingly.  It didn’t take long for Ellie to realize that the man she was born to destroy had a weakness: he was in love.  Everything fell into place quickly once she realized that this information, plus Rogers’ innate selfless nature, was the key to getting what William needed.

 

Ellie was thankful for Rogers’ woman.  She knew nothing about her, other than what she had learned at social events she had been forced to attend and from obliquely asking around.  She had children - a wonderful tactical advantage - and she had a job that made it easy to know her location and extract her without much fuss.  Her digital life wasn’t a completely open book, but given her security clearances Ellie was able to learn everything she needed to in order to complete a full profile for the men she chose to carry out the mission.

 

These men never saw her, never spoke with her directly.  All communication was run through several intermediaries, and could never be linked to her, William, or CGS.  It was as simple as picking two ethnically-obvious men, finding a time the target would be alone, and giving the order that the woman should not be badly hurt or violated.   When she, as the leader of the Emergency Response Team, was called in by the local police and the Avengers to consult on finding the target, Ellie was beyond pleased at how such a simple plan could manipulate Captain America.  She knew it would only take a short time before he gave up the formula, and, in fact, it took less time and effort than even she imagined.  The only failure was of the idiot kidnappers to make the rendezvous point at one of CGS’s Canadian labs; that might be a problem, but Ellie would handle it.  

 

When Rogers handed over the vibranium-encased capsule at the CGS warehouse, and William’s most trusted scientist verified its authenticity, it was her brother who gave the order for the woman to be released.  It was Ellie who later led the search to “find” the kidnappers, easily ensnaring them and handing them over to the US government for prosecution.  She made sure to keep abreast of any investigation into CGS, but since the day-to-day case was now being run by the Avengers, particularly Natasha Romanoff, she did not have the  complete access she once had.  She knew she had to change her tactic if she was going to remain on the offensive - she had to get closer to Rogers.  Everyone was surprised when she gave up her current position and took the job on a low-key, low-profile assignment protecting Captain America’s girlfriend, but bought her explanation of sick relatives, being close to home - all the insipid reasons people wanted to believe, especially people they thought of as lonely.

William’s personal team was working nonstop to map the element Rogers turned over.  As Ellie immersed herself in the role of protector for this expendable woman, she became her confidante, and was again privy to many details of the case that Romanoff had kept closely guarded.  It didn’t hurt that the idiot in charge, Barnes, eventually came to trust Ellie implicitly.  As a HYDRA legacy, she knew about the Winter Soldier.  She knew what Barnes had done, and that getting  _ his _ DNA might also help William, but she stayed focused on Rogers.  She would keep Barnes as an option if Rogers did not serve his purpose.

 

As the solution to the scientific issue continued to elude him, William began to suspect that Rogers gave them false information.  His superiors in HYDRA became frantic, requiring daily updates, round-the-clock access to both William and Ellie, and projective plans for righting the mistake they placed squarely at Ellie’s feet.   She knew they were desperate, and that desperation bred impulsive, reactive actions.  She increased the security around William.  If anyone realized he was her only soft spot, things could get very bad, very quickly.  

 

When the wedding plans for Rogers and the woman were announced and Ellie was made the head of security for the event, she could not believe her luck.  She knew this would be a perfect opportunity to take advantage of stupid, useless sentimentality and manipulate it to her advantage. Though killing Captain America was not previously on the table, everything was now an option given that the capsule was no longer implanted in his body.  Ellie was going to make damned sure that William would get what he needed, and if that meant killing Rogers, his bride, hell, even her children, she would do it - it was what her father had raised her to do.  She was also secretly hoping Barnes would get caught in the crossfire and she would have the opportunity to reveal her real motives before putting a bullet between his eyes.  The thought of it alone made her smile.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

You didn’t realize what a logistical hassle it was to have a wedding away from home, even though the ceremony was at the Compound and reception was at the cabin.  Thank goodness for the army of people who put everything into motion to make it happen, because God knows you would have been a complete bitch monster if you had to do it.  Most of the overnight guests would be staying at hotels in the area, but the wedding party and close family would be staying in the guest suites at the Compound.  After everyone arrived and was settled, you went through the wedding rehearsal with only a minor glitch or two, most of it due to Tony and Maria nonstop arguing and baiting each other - as they walked down the aisle, stood at the front, or even looked at each other, it didn’t matter.  At one point, you seriously asked them if you needed to separate them, at which they both rolled their eyes, promising to try and tone it down.  

 

Agents were everywhere, and every single inch of the wedding and reception areas had been swept.  Bucky was doing double duty, as both the best man and the head of the security detail, but he had delegated most of that responsibility to Agent Weber, who had helped in all the planning and whom Bucky trusted with your lives. While you mingled at the rehearsal dinner, Steve snaked his arms around your waist and planted a kiss on your neck.  “Hey Mrs. Rogers.  Has anyone told you how hot you look tonight?”

 

“Just this random guy who can’t seem to take his eyes off of me, but other than that weirdo, no.”  You smiled and turned around to kiss him.  He didn’t look quite as happy as you thought he would.  “What’s up? Everything ok?”

 

“Yes.  Just nervous I guess.  A lot of things are changing for us this weekend.”

 

Normally, you’d be freaking out after hearing that, but the two of you had gotten this far, so you didn’t feel the need to run off to the bathroom for another of your infamous crying jags.  You just placed your hand on his cheek and kissed him.  “What can I do to help?”

 

“You can meet me at the end of the aisle on Sunday.  When I see you there, everything will be perfect.” 

 

“Mr. Rogers,” you couldn’t help it - you always tittered when you said that out loud, “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”  Even in the midst of the crowd, your kiss drew catcalls and caused you both to turn a deep shade of red.  You then returned to mingling, or, as Steve put it, social torture.  You wondered what it was about introverts that attracted you; after all, this was the second one you were marrying.  That was the last trivial thought that would occupy you for awhile. 

 

While you were all enjoying the fun, you saw Nat corner Bucky and Steve and pull them away from the crowd.  Though you could never read her face, you knew what you saw on theirs, and you started to feel ill.  You saw Steve search the crowd for you with his eyes and then signal for you to join him inside.  You met him, Bucky, Nat, Weber and Collins inside, feeling more nauseous by the minute.  You all looked at Nat as she spoke first.

 

“There has been a sharp increase in known HYDRA cell activity on the Atlantic seaboard in the last 48 hours.  Our sources tell us that there seems to be coordinated movement of various subgroups to this general area.  We’ve kept an extra close eye on CGS pharmaceuticals and just received intel about a move by  _ them _ that we’re also concerned about.  Their container shipments are stopped at customs, per shipping regulations,  and have always been clean with the correct manifests and other documentation in place.  The shipments that docked last night contained an unusual amount of high quality medical-grade supplies and drugs, which would not be unusual except none of their patented products use any of these materials.  Customs impounded the shipment and called in the CGS team to explain.  Their response was that it is for “research.” Unfortunately they had the right documents to support that claim.”

 

Since wild speculation wasn’t going to be helpful, you decided to ask the obvious question.  “I’m sure you’re going to connect the dots for me.”

 

Weber continued.  “The big deal about that is that these shipping containers came from Germany and Asia, while 90% of all their previous ones have come from other places like Switzerland or the UK.  We know that CGS is tied to the Hand and HYDRA and, even before that, to the Red Skull.  If known HYDRA operatives are moving towards the general vicinity of the shipping containers, which oddly enough, are docked less than 15 miles from here, we don’t see that as a coincidence.  We  _ can’t _ see it as anything other than a major threat to your safety.”

 

Steve turned to you and started to speak before anyone else could continue.  “New and different high quality drugs and supplies coming from Germany and Asia make us think they are trying, in earnest, to recreate Erskine’s formula.  The supplies that are listed are all the known components, which, by themselves, are not suspicious, but - put them together with the missing ingredient, you would be able to create an army of super soldiers.”  

 

Bucky looked you straight in the eye, “Like me.  Just like me, but worse. They know the only people that have that missing piece are here, in this place, this weekend.”

 

Steve put his arm around your shoulders and held you as you started to shiver and waited for someone to say what was going to happen.  “Do we have to cancel the wedding?”

 

Bucky answered. “We have enough intel to take down the closest cells and put the shipping containers on lockdown tonight.  Our Emergency Response Team, FBI, Canadian authorities, and local authorities are all on high alert.  Between them, us, and your security detail, we feel we can safely go through with things as planned.  We just wanted to let you know why we have to leave and why we won’t be back until we’re satisfied that we’ve stopped any threats.”

 

You looked at Steve and breathed, desperately trying to suppress your panic and stay in the moment.  “If you tell me you believe that our friends and family will be safe here, that this wedding is ok to continue, then I believe you.  Do what you need to do.  You better not get hurt, we’ve got a date this weekend.”  You kissed him hard and watched as he and quite a few hard-to-miss guests left, Bucky included.  Weber remained as Agent-in-Command on site, and tried valiantly to prevent you from having a breakdown.

 

“Stephanie, the party does not have to stop.  There is nowhere in the world safer than this place right now.  I am going to check in with the posts and the gate, but Collins is here as are the others.”

 

“Weber, do one thing for me before you go.  Please have at least 2 agents glued to my children until we know what’s going on.  Please.”  You got a nod in return, which was all you needed.  You returned to the guests and continued to put on a brave face for the rest of the night.  The remaining adult members of your bridal party sought you out to hear what was going on, and to check if you were ok.  Promising to tell them everything later, you sought out Ally, whispered to her where Bucky was going, and hugged her as you welcomed her to life as an Avenger’s “other.”

_________________________________________________________________________________

 

Steve wanted to stay focused.  He knew he had to, but distractions kept interfering.  He kept thinking about Stephanie, about the girls, about this weekend which was supposed to be the happiest of his life.  He was angry. Angry that the life he dedicated himself to had turned against him and was threatening to ruin what he saw as his last chance for normalcy.  He knew it wasn’t right to feel this way, he chose this life after all, but after seeing his fiancee  try to squelch her panic and put on a brave face he couldn’t help it.

 

“Steve.” Natasha’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and back to the mission.  After leaving the rehearsal, the team assembled at the Compound to suit up and review the intel that set this all into motion.

 

“Part of the difficulty in taking down CGS is that they are not a publicly-traded company and it seems their source of funding has kept them off the books of major lenders.  Their footprint, so to speak, is much harder to trace because they didn’t have to file public documents on behalf of their investors.  What we do know is the head of R&D at CGS is Wilhelm Weber. He has Ph.D.s in Genetics and Molecular Biology and we know he is the head of a pretty stacked team of whiz kids - the best scientists in the field from MIT, Harvard, and CalTech all specializing in experimental biology, genetics, and chemistry.  There is very little available on this guy - he has no digital life to speak of, but we’re working on that.  We know he is a US citizen, that he was born here, and that his parents emigrated from Asia.

 

Bucky voiced their collective thought, “They emigrated from Asia?  With a name like Wilhelm Weber?”

 

Natasha sighed, “We’re looking at whatever we can find on the family history.  All we know is his mother’s name, Hannah Schmidt.  Her husband was listed as Wilhelm Weber and as “deceased” on the immigration paperwork.  The reason she gave for emigrating to Washington, D.C. was “education”.  After she arrived she enrolled at a local college, and pretty much disappeared.  It was much easier to do that back then.”  Steve and Bucky nodded their agreement enthusiastically.

 

“Right now we are tracking four separate HYDRA cells from the Eastern seaboard, including the remnants from the group that were responsible for Stephanie’s abduction.  The soldiers we’ve identified are all mercenaries with serious kill numbers and have been increasing their visibility with high-profile jobs, like the weapons heist last month.  Without question, they are moving towards those shipping containers.  There is no other reason for them to be here.”

 

Steve’s patience was wearing thin. “There’s no way you think that moving in and taking them down is going to end this.”  Natasha allowed herself an almost-imperceptible smile.

 

“No.  Our guess is that they plan to hijack the contents of the container, at the behest of HYDRA.  This will be a diversion and make it seem like CGS has been ripped off, when in fact, the contents will eventually come back to them, through secure channels.  The soldiers will then be subjected to whatever experiments CGS has cooked up.  Cap, if we wait until they take the goods and deliver them, we’ll get both the mercs and CGS - win-win.”

 

“What’s our timeline?” He was in soldier mode now.

 

“Our eyes tell us the cells are in the town where the shipping containers are, probably doing recon and getting last-minute orders.  We get there within the hour, split up into three 2-person teams, and follow them at close range to their drop off.  Then, we move in.”

 

Steve looked at the team and nodded - it was a go.  He took a moment to bark out assignments and orders and gave them 5 minutes to get underway.  Bucky clearly had the most intimate knowledge of HYDRA, so he and Steve were a team, with Clint and Natasha and Sam and Tony in the other groups.  The raid at the docks went off as planned.  Though it was difficult for the teams to watch from the sidelines as innocent people were compromised, they knew that it was more important to finally connect HYDRA to CGS.  Without that, they would be chasing strays forever and Steph would never be safe.  Steve pushed that thought out of his mind while crouching in the dark.

 

“Teams 2 and 3 - get ready to roll.  Stark, keep it quiet, this isn’t New York City, your thrusters will definitely tip them off.”  After a completely expected comeback from Tony, each team had eyes on their targets and followed.  When they arrived at what they assumed was the rendezvous point, the goods were handed off to a group of armed guards, just as Natasha predicted.  They were understandably shocked when the quiet was invaded by fire and brimstone raining down on them, in the form of some very angry, personally-motivated superheroes.  After the mercs,  guards, and supplies were in custody, Bucky took Steve aside.

 

“Steve, didn’t this feel a little easy to you?”  Steve looked at him, waiting for more.  

 

“I mean, we’ve done this enough times to know that things like this are fluid.  These are highly-trained people - they just let us follow them and capture them, in one night, with hardly any blowback?  That feels fishy to me.”

 

“I hear ya, Buck, but Nat had it down to the last detail - she doesn’t get stuff like this wrong.”  He let out a long breath and looked down at the ground.  “Look, we’ve got them and the supplies for tonight.  We hand them over to our bosses for interrogation, they throw their asses in a cell, and I can get married knowing that for tonight at least, we’re safe.”  

 

Bucky was surprised that Steve was letting his personal feelings obscure his judgement.  He was about to say so, but since they had completed their mission and he had nothing to go on but his instinct, he stayed quiet.  He knew Steve well enough to know that he would never knowingly put others in danger, but he couldn’t fault him for being in love, which was a much harder variable to calculate.  

____________________________________________________________________________

 

Weber smiled after she learned the operatives and supplies were in custody.  She made a phone call to an offshore number, and left a message.  

 

“Phase One complete.  Consider Phase Two initiated.”

 

She went to find Stephanie and give her the good news that the bad guys were behind bars,  and her wedding was on, as planned.  Ellie was taken aback when she was on the receiving end of a hug and grateful tears.  She was even more surprised when she found her own arms returning the hug and not letting go right away.  When Stephanie pulled back, the smile on her face was tired, but radiant.  Ellie returned the smile and realized, with panic rising in her chest, that it was genuine.  

  
  



	22. No, Really

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were many obstacles to getting there, but it was finally the day. Stephanie and Steve were going to be married. Not even last-minute bad guys and missions could derail this….or could it? Agent Weber’s objective remains the same - to get the final missing element to complete the Super Soldier serum. Whether she had to kill or kidnap to get it, it didn’t matter - she needed to complete the mission she and her brother were born to fulfill. Will Steve and Steph ever be free of his nightmare?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Happy December! This chapter was, as always, supported and crafted by @MsEnglish101 - the best beta ever (even though she wants me to delete the mention i ain’t gonna do it - she’s awesome and helps me in ways she doesn’t know). I hope you like where this goes. I’d love to hear your feedback and comments - I read every single one and love to hear different perspectives. Thanks so much for reading and stay tuned - the story ain’t over yet!

Ellie Weber woke up before her alarm, as usual.  She sat up in bed, stretched, and smiled - today was the day.  It was the day that a lifetime of service  by her grandfather, father, her, and her brother - to Hitler, HYDRA, the Hand, SHIELD - was finally going to be rewarded.  Today was the last of Captain America’s life, giving rise to the first day of a new race of warriors.  Whomever got in the way of finishing her mission would not live long enough to regret their decision.  

 

As she stepped into her dress, and slipped her weaponry into carefully considered places, Ellie felt powerful - more powerful than she had in a long time.  She knew what she had to do, she knew how she was going to do it, and she knew no one would see her coming. 

_______________________________________________________________________________

You woke up suddenly and sat straight up in bed.  For a minute you forgot where you were, but when you put on your glasses and shook the cobwebs out of your head, you recognized the balcony doors in Steve’s room at the Compound, with obnoxiously bright early morning light streaming in.   Before you could help yourself your lips curled up into a huge goofy smile.  It was really happening - you were marrying Steve Rogers today.  The man who caused that smile was sleeping to your left, the sheet tangled around his legs and his t-shirt riding up his back.  To hell with tradition - when he returned late the night before with the news that the team did what they set out to do and you were finally safe, finally done with this nightmare, you would not let him leave your room - no matter how vehement his objections.  Though your flesh was willing to break your “no sex until the wedding” vow, your absolute physical and emotional exhaustion left the spirit unable to go along for the ride.  When you glanced at your phone and saw how early it was you were thrilled you had some time to yourself before the day got under way.  

 

You sat out on the balcony bundled up in one of Steve’s hoodies and a comfy pair of sweats, cradling your mug of hot tea.  There was no other place in the world where you felt so peaceful or so safe - and if that wasn’t a good enough reason to stay, the view clinched the deal.  Though it was chilly, you were glad to see your weather app  was predicting a comfortably warm spring day.  You closed your eyes and enjoyed the butterflies that made your tummy flip when you thought about your dress.  It surpassed your wildest expectations and you were so excited to wear it - or, to be more honest, you were so excited to see Steve’s face when he saw you wear it.  You started to breathe slowly in an attempt to stay in the moment.  That simple exercise plus the warm sun, the hoodie that smelled like Steve, and the soft chilly breeze were apparently enough to put you back to sleep.

 

You woke up to the sound of Steve chuckling as he leaned in close to kiss you.  “Of all the days to fall back asleep, you pick today.”  You smiled up at him and asked him to sit with you for a minute, just before the crazy rush began.  The wedding was at 1 o’clock, and Pepper’s assistant laid out a very tight schedule until then.  

“Still feeling panicked?” you asked while looking out at the trees.

 

“Not panicked as much as nervous.  I don’t want to mess anything up today.”  You pushed him as much as you could from your angle and sat up to look at him.  “Are you planning on being there when I get to the end of the aisle?”

 

He looked at you like you were crazy.  “Of course.  I can’t wait.”

 

“If you’re waiting for me there, we say the words we want to say, we hear the words we want to hear, and we kiss, then we’ve done the only things we need to do today.  The rest is just fun extras.  Really expensive, fun, extras.”

 

You kissed him and laughed.  He looked confused.

 

“I can’t say that Pepper and her army wouldn’t take either of us down in a heartbeat if we don’t follow their schedule.”  Realizing the time, you started to get up and checked the reminder app she had set up for the day,  “...and apparently, that starts now with ‘a long, hot, relaxing shower.’  I’d ask you to join me, but our “no sex” pact is on tenuous footing as it is.”

 

You knew the day would be over in a blink of an eye, but you snuggled your head into his chest anyway, feeling so lucky and safe when his huge arms found their way around you.  It took all your willpower to get up and start moving.  As you predicted, the morning was over before you knew it.  You had breakfast with your posse, followed by glamification with the hair and makeup team you had all met with the week before, and then it was time to get dressed.  

 

Your mom was there along with the girls and your friends, and they all gasped as you walked out of the bedroom.  Christian had taken all your ideas and requests and created a masterpiece.  The dress was silver and fell to the floor in an A-line shape.  The skirt had poofy layers of mesh lace, embroidered with small cream-colored stars and flowers, with your and Steve’s initials embroidered in tiny letters under your bustle.  You wore a matching bolero jacket, embroidered with a much smaller, almost imperceptible pattern of blue flowers and stars around its edging.  The blue in the jacket set off the sparkles of the sapphire and diamond necklace, earrings, and engagement ring Steve had given you, piece by piece, since he had proposed.  This was the closest you were ever going to get to being an actual princess.

 

You felt so different today than when you married John.  That day would always be a precious memory for you, but now you were a completely different person, marrying a completely different kind of man, and you could not imagine feeling happier.  After the pre-wedding pictures were taken, you took a minute to write Steve a note that would be opened on your 1st anniversary.  You knew it was corny, but the Pinterest reviews convinced you to try it.  While  _ some _ people may have fawned or swooned at the sentimentality of the gesture, there was no such emotion coming from your troop.  The withering look you gave Maria when she opened her mouth to tease you (even though you deserved it and would have done the same thing in her place) stopped her before a word was uttered.   Making her shut up had just unexpectedly been checked off your bucket list, a complete bonus that made you grin like the Cheshire Cat and had her vowing post-honeymoon revenge - seriously.  You quickly included a line about that victory, signed the letter, and handed it to Pepper’s crew, who were making a one-year anniversary box with lots of little things from this day - you knew in their capable hands you’d be sure to get it a year from now.  

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

“Steve, calm down.  For Pete’s sake, you’ve been in life-or-death situations a million times and I’ve never seen you like this.”  Bucky laughed as he watched Steve pace back and forth in the cabin, wiping his sweaty hands on his pants and generally looking one shade of green away from illness.

 

“Well, all those times I didn’t have to worry about speaking in front of a crowd of people, telling someone I love how I feel for the whole world to hear.  I don’t know if I can do it Buck.”

 

“Of course you can.  I mean, most likely you’ll screw up, but who cares?  I know Steph won’t.”  He laughed a little harder as Steve stopped pacing long enough to glare at him and take a really deep breath before returning to the task of wearing a path into the floor.  “Push comes to shove you wrote it down, remember?  I’ve got it right here,” he patted the breast pocket of his uniform jacket.  “If you need it, just look at me and I’ll give it to you.”  Steve breathed deeply again, running his hand through his hair, and groaned as he looked at the clock and saw it was time.  

 

Bucky smiled, put his hands on Steve’s shoulders, and looked him straight in the eye.  “I’m really happy for you, punk.  You’ve found a woman you love and who loves you.  You take care of each other, and she kicks your butt when necessary.  I know you’re going to be very happy.  I just wish your Ma and mine were here - they woulda loved her and the girls. Now let’s get out there.  You ready?”

 

As they walked towards the lake, the weather could not have been better.  A nice warm breeze blew, the sun was shining, and everything looked like a painting, right down to the perfectly-flowering trees.  Steve wondered if Pepper had somehow figured out how to coerce Mother Nature into making that happen.  He wouldn’t put it past her.  

 

_____________________________________________________________________________________

 

For your first wedding, you walked down the aisle on your Dad’s arm, to Pachelbel’s Canon in D.  That was a wonderful day, but you wanted to make this one wholly new for you and Steve.  This time, it wasn’t your parents giving you away, but your girls.  When you asked them, you said that you wanted their blessing to help you all become a new kind of family, together.  As you waited to hear the music - the introduction to Bach’s first cello suite - you looked at your daughters, kissed each of them, and linked your arms with theirs while your best friends in the world walked down the aisle ahead of you.  You laughed along with everyone else when Jen and Maria’s youngest children made a mad dash down the aisle, dumping out clumps of flowers as they went.  You smiled quietly with shining eyes at how beautiful the women looked, even from your viewpoint in the back.  Each of them wore a tea length 1940’s style white dress embroidered with tiny pastel spring flowers, and held simple bouquets of white roses with a single colored one in the center.  It felt like only a second passed before the guests stood and the three of you each took a deep breath as you began walking.

 

You saw the smiling faces of your family, your friends - old and new - and then there was no one else but Steve.  When he saw you, he smiled with a dreamy expression on his face, with Bucky to his left wearing a big goofy grin that was so sweet you almost cried.  When you reached him, the girls stepped between the two of you.  Lizzy’s right hand was dwarfed by Steve’s, while Gabbi held the other, who, in turn, held your hand.  You had your first real cry when, instead of asking the traditional “Who gives this woman?” question, the priest let them speak, and they said, “Steve, we don’t need to give our mother to you, because we know you already have her heart.  What we can give you is our promise to make a new, evolved version of our family with you as its newest member.”  As much as he would deny it later, there was high-def photographic proof that, at that moment, Steve teared up.  The girls stepped to the side, and you and Steve turned towards each other to hold hands.  You smiled at the line of handsome, grinning superheroes behind him - Bucky, Sam, Tony - then back at Steve looking drop-dead gorgeous in his dress uniform.  Your less-than-pure thoughts were cut short by the priest’s voice.

 

“Welcome friends and family that love and are loved by Stephanie and Steve.  You are here today to witness the union of two people from different times and different worlds.  You are here to witness the triumph of good over evil, of light over dark, of truth and faith above all else.  You are here to witness the birth of a new family, and finally, you are here to witness the start of what we pray is a long and loving life together for these two people.”

 

After the blessings were said and the readings done by your siblings and Wanda, Steve started to grip your hand harder as the time for your vows got closer.  You felt bad for him, but he had agreed to write vows without coercion or bribing from you, even after you pointed out that doing so required saying them out loud, in front of the assembled guests.  He turned towards Bucky, who handed him a piece of paper, which he held with one hand while holding yours with the other.  You gave him an encouraging smile and squeezed his hand while he cleared his throat.

 

“Stephanie Elizabeth.  What the reverend said about us being from different times and worlds was true.  What he didn’t say was that, despite my age, I’ve never felt more part of the world, more part of a period of time than I do now, with you.  I love you because you are caring to a fault, unselfish to your core, funny when you should and shouldn’t be, welcoming to new and old friends,  smart, beautiful, and one hell of a great Mom.  I’ve told you a bunch of  times that I never thought I would find someone that would capture my heart and mind the way you have, but I’ve never thanked you for doing that.  So, thank you.  You have made my life better, happier, and more full of love than I ever thought I could experience.  I promise to love you, to be faithful to you and our marriage, to cherish you, Lizzy, and Gabbi, and to make sure you know what an absolutely amazing woman you are, every day of my life,  as long as we both shall live.”  Your ugly cry was averted only because you saw Pepper out of the corner of your eye and you knew she’d kill you if you ruined your makeup.  That didn’t stop almost every other person there from doing just that.  You smiled and took a deep breath.  Your turn.

 

“Steven Grant.  Ever since we bumped into each other that first day and you called me “ma’am” for the first time, I knew you were a good guy.  I didn’t know exactly who you were, but soon after we met I knew that you were someone who could be trusted and that you were a decent person who stood up for what he believed in and didn’t apologize for it.  Each day that we’ve been together you’ve lived that life, and when you decided to take on the loud, rambunctious gaggle of women who live next door, you also showed how brave and daring you are.  I love you because you’re the most loyal person I’ve ever met and I love you because you’re a good, decent, and caring man.  I love you because you embraced my daughters without reservation, because you’ve saved me - literally - and supported me in every way possible.  I love you because you are beautiful inside and out and because the thought of spending the rest of my life with you makes even me speechless.  I promise to love you, be faithful to you and our marriage, to cherish you, and to make sure you know what an absolutely amazing man you are, every day of my life, as long as we both shall live.”  He picked up your hand and kissed it.  The priest asked for the rings.

 

“Stephanie, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?  Do you promise to love, honor, and cherish him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

 

“I do.”  

 

“Then place this ring upon his hand, signifying the bonds of love and promise of a long life together.”  You slipped Steve’s ring on his finger and sighed with relief when it fit perfectly.  Tony had been instrumental in helping you get it, and its platinum appearance, with both your initials and the date inscribed, looked stunning.

 

“Steven, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?  Do you promise to love, honor, and cherish her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

 

“I do.”  

 

“Then place this ring upon her hand, signifying the bonds of love and promise of a long life together.”  You loved your ring as soon as he slipped it on - it was a silver-colored metal with faint traces of red, white and blue on it, also with both of your initials and the date. 

 

“Now by the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife.  You may kiss.”

 

In spite of the whooping, yelling, and whistling from the groomsmen and the guests, you felt like the two of you were the only people in the world.  Steve cupped your face in his hand and pulled you into a sweet and chaste kiss.  You leaned your foreheads together and said, “I love you,” at pretty much the same time, followed by big smiles.  You turned towards the girls, hugging and kissing them, and then took a deep breath before walking down the aisle, now as Captain & Mrs. Steven Rogers.  

 

You turned around to catch a glimpse of Bucky walking both of your daughters up the aisle, followed by Maria and Tony, Ally and Sam, and Jen with the little ones.  Before you got whisked away for pictures and other bride-ly duties, you asked Pepper to give you and Steve a few moments of quiet together, just to breathe - and maybe to kiss.  

 

“Hi Mrs. Rogers.”

 

“Hi Mr. Rogers.” Yes, you giggled.  That  wasn’t going away anytime soon. 

 

Your kiss was passionate, but restrained, given that Tony probably had spy drones and cameras everywhere.

 

“You look so beautiful, like a dream come true.”  You blushed as you thanked him.  “Well, if it hadn’t been for the priest standing right there, my mind would’ve definitely strayed to racy thoughts after seeing how hot you look in this uniform.  Promise me you’re going to wear this more often.”  Now it was his turn to blush.

 

“Do you like your ring?”  He looked at you while you held it up to the light.  “Of course, I love it.  I love the traces of color, though I’ll probably want to get it sealed so it doesn’t rub off from day-to-day wear.”

 

“Well, it hasn’t rubbed off in over 75 years, so I think you’re safe.”  You scrunched up your face in confusion and he laughed, as he always did.  “I had Tony make this ring from a small piece of my shield.”  

 

You did not know what to say, so you just looked at him.

 

“You ok?” He always worried when you were quiet.  “Are you about to bolt to the bathroom and turn on the water so I don’t hear you crying?”  You laughed.  “Fair question, given my history, but no.  I’m more than ok, I’m honored and touched and I love it, but….”

 

“What’s the ‘but’?”

 

“I didn’t think Tony was capable of keeping a secret like this.  He helped me with your ring, too.  He’s the one who suggested creating it from the vibranium recovered after the Ultron mission.  Before you ask, he got all the permissions he needed to, all the way up the chain to the Commander-In-Chief.  I had him prove it to me, and swear to the authenticity of the approvals in front of Pepper.  That’s better than using a Bible when it comes to him.” 

 

He laughed and kissed you again. “ I guess we should go back out there, huh?”

 

You didn’t want to be anywhere but with him. “As much as I love everyone there, I really would prefer ditching the reception, but the threat of Pepper wreaking havoc on our lives is keeping me in line.  Plus, we agreed to pose for pictures for the press - give ‘em this, we might get away with some privacy later.”

 

There was a soft knock at the door.  You assumed it was someone either from the bridal party or Pepper’s staff, but weren’t terribly surprised to see Agent Weber stepping into the room after you gave the all clear.  

 

“I want to wish both of you congratulations. It was a beautiful ceremony.  I also wanted to update you on security.  We’ve had very minor issues with press and photographers, and one guest that brought his own flask to the ceremony and was already feeling no pain by the end of it.  Those have all been dealt with without incident.  We’ve covered the picture location with agents, as well as the reception area.  At this time, there are no known threats and we’re cautiously optimistic it will remain that way.”  Steve had some questions, which you were glad about because your mind was elsewhere….like a few hours from now, in your cabin, in front of the fireplace…..

 

“Steph.”  That taught you not to daydream during a briefing.  Steve returned to his question.

 

“Give me a situation report on last night’s prisoners and any movement from CGS or other HYDRA cells since that time.”

 

“At this time, the prisoners are in standard-issue cells in a maximum security facility.  They have not given up anything yet, but they will, we have no doubt about that.  It’s just a matter of how high up the CGS or HYDRA food chains we can get.  At this time, there are no known mobilized HYDRA or CGS teams in the area.”  

 

“Anything else before we get on with our wedding day, Agent?”

 

“One last thing, sir, and I’ll leave you be.  As of last night, your plans for leaving the party were not finalized.  Do you have an ETA of when you’ll be leaving and where you’ll be going from there?”

 

“Not sure about ETA, we’ll let you know as soon as we get a sense for how the party is going and how much fun we’re having.  As for where we’re going, we’ve decided to spend at least tonight in our cabin.  Will that work for your teams?”

 

“Yes, of course, sir.  As Agent-in-Charge, I will be there, of course, but I’ve got 3 2-person teams also assigned, with additional teams protecting the girls and your family members, Stephanie.”

 

“Thank you Weber, we both really appreciate it.  Steve, are you all set?  Karen from Pepper’s staff wants to know if we’ll be ready for pictures soon.”

 

“I’m good.  Thank you Weber.  Try to have some fun tonight, ok?”

“Yes sir.  I will try my best.  Again, my congratulations.”

___________________________________________________________________________________

“Ladies and gentleman, Captain and Mrs. Steven Rogers!”

 

The assembled guests erupted with cheers as you and Steve made your way into the tented reception area in the back of the cabin.  The huge tent was ringed in white lights and all the people you cared about in the world were standing to greet you.  As you and Steve smiled and walked in, the famous piano intro of “Unforgettable” started to play.  The two of you had been practicing, but you were still surprised when Steve spun you out and brought you back to him before leading you in your first dance.  Spoons started clinking against glasses immediately, and you obliged with a dreamy, albeit short, kiss.  “So, Mrs. Rogers, how does it feel to be married to me?”

 

“So far, so good,” and you laughed as he smirked at you.  You didn’t need more clinking to give him another kiss.  You sang along to the song softly as you rested your head on his shoulder and let him lead you wherever he wanted to go. “Thank you for being my one.”  You looked up at him with another soft smile and said, “My pleasure, and thank you, too.”

 

Right before the toasts, Gabbi and Lizzy had informed you that they had asked Maria to speak instead of them.  Oh boy.  You looked at her with fear in your eyes, but she assured you that she would “be good.” You didn’t hesitate to threaten her with being taken down by any one of the superheroes or security agents present if she wasn’t.  You and Steve looked at each other, took a deep breath, and listened.

 

“I’ve known Steph for a very long time.  We met in the trenches of a special education classroom a long time ago, and right away I wanted to simultaneously roll my eyes at her and hug her.  I knew from the first minute I saw her work with kids that she was genuine - the kind of person I wanted, no,  _ needed _ to be friends with.  See, some people consider me edgy,” she smiled as the room erupted with laughter at that understatement, “...and even though I’ve always had a hard time understanding that, I never had trouble understanding that Steph was sort of my kindred spirit, except she showed her feelings in a different way, a much  kinder, more optimistic way.”

 

“When she met Steve, she didn’t tell me much, other than she had a “new neighbor who was really nice.”  When she wouldn’t say much more I was, of course, skeptical, but then I met him I knew they were a great match.  There have been some pretty big bumps in the road, but through all of them the only thing I cared about was seeing Steph love and be loved in return like she deserves.  Steve does that, all the time.  I know, without a doubt, that he puts her happiness and safety above his own, and he doesn’t think twice when he has to make a tough decision that puts her and the girls first.  Steve and Steph - I wish you the best, happiest life possible, with time to explore, grow, and learn about life together.  I love you both.”

 

You both stood up to hug her, and you managed to whisper while you cried and laughed, “You bitch.  How can you make me cry like this without warning?”  

 

“Because I knew you weren’t expecting it.  Remember I told you I was going to get revenge?  Hmmmmm….don’t ever underestimate me.”

 

You were already tearing up before Bucky even stood up to speak.  Steve’s grip on your hand was tight, but his expression was one of pride and love as he watched his best friend take the microphone.  

 

“I’m known now as a man of few words, but if you ask Steve, that wasn’t always the case.  I don’t remember everything from that part of my life, and what I do is supplemented with the help of Steve and the internet - but the one thing I know, from the deepest place inside me, is that this man is good.  He was a fighter before he had any right to be, he was a hero before he had a shield, and he was a champion before he ever won a fight.”  Steve was hanging his head and gripping your knee while trying not to cry.  

 

“Another thing I know, from that same place inside of me, is that he has found a good woman.  She is a smart, beautiful, deeply caring dame who fights as hard as any soldier, doesn’t take guff from anyone when it comes to the people she loves, is a survivor, and comes back stronger each time she gets knocked down.  Steve is lucky to have her.  Steph, as I told him today - both of our mothers would have loved you.  They would not have cared about your age, they would have been nagging you for more grandkids the minute the ring was on your finger - even though they sure as heck woulda known they could have started asking way before then.”  Both of you turned bright red as the guests roared both at what he said and how you reacted.

 

“Really, though, in all seriousness, I love you both. You two, and Lizzy and Gabbi, you are my family.  I wish all of you nothing but the happiness, health, and love that you deserve, for the rest of your days.” Even he fought back a sniffle as you and Steve hugged him.  

 

After a delicious dinner, many clinking-inspired kisses, and a couple more toasts from guests (though no one allowed Tony to get hold of a microphone - your parents and children were in the audience for goodness’ sake), it was a great party.  You were so happy to see Bucky dance with each of your daughters, both of them looking at him adoringly.  When they were done, it was Ally’s turn - both the dancing and the adoring.  You had Steve dance you by both of them and when you got there, you winked and loudly whispered, “Don’t you think it’s a good time to show everyone how both of you feel?”  Steve looked confused as you laughed while they had a turn blushing.  

 

You were taking a break when you noticed Agent Weber keeping her ever-vigilant watch on the premises.  You walked over, handed her a bottle of water, and hugged her.  “Ellie, thank you for doing all you did to make today safe and wonderful.  If there is anything I can ever do for you, please don’t hesitate to ask.”  She returned your hug and gave the usual “just doing my job” line.  You were about to protest when Bucky walked over to check with her about the details of the evening.  You excused yourself and walked away, but a moment later he slid his arm around your waist and asked you to dance.  That was fun - even though he could not remember all the details of his early life, one thing that had stayed intact was his ability to dance.  After you kissed his cheek and teased him about the innuendo in his speech, he spun you around and even lifted you off the ground at one point, causing you to laugh and yell at the same time.  

 

Steve and Ally danced over to you and you all switched partners gladly.  After a few more slow dances, you looked at Steve and didn’t need to say anything to convey your thoughts.  You both went around to the remaining guests, made sure that Lizzy and Gabbi remembered to listen to Jen until they were dropped off at their Dad and Sue’s,  and that you would see them after your honeymoon.   All the important people knew where you’d be and how to reach you (though you didn’t know where you were going), and that the protection details would remain in place.  When you started getting sucked into the girls’ to-do list while you were gone, your friends shooed the last of the guests (and themselves) out and your husband locked the door behind them.

 

You knew it was a complete fantasy that after such a big day, all newlyweds threw off all their clothes and spent the night having unbridled passionate sex.  You were beat, but you didn’t want the Super Soldier you married, with the inexhaustible stamina, to be disappointed.   He looked at you after you dropped into a comfy chair making your poofy dress float up around you, and laughed.  

 

“You ok?”

 

“I just need a second, it was a pretty big day.”

 

“Steph, I’m not in any kind of rush, ya know. We don’t have to do anything tonight.  We’ve got a million nights together and I want our first time as a married couple to be special and memorable for both of us, not something you fall asleep halfway through.”  You chuckled as you kicked your shoes off and leaned your head back against the chair.  “Thank you sweetie, it’s nice to know I’m not crushing your wedding night expectations.”

 

He walked over and knelt in front of your chair.  “My only expectation of today was to start my life with you. Why don’t we get some sleep.”  He surprised you when he stood and put his arms under you to lift you.  That woke you up. 

 

“Steve!  Put me down, you can’t carry me all the way up the stairs, you’ll hurt yourself.  Please!”

 

“Nope.  This is one of my wedding gifts to you - confidence in yourself and in me - that I know what I can and can’t do and that you aren’t going to hurt me.  If I can push a car over, carrying my gorgeous wife properly over our bedroom threshold is easy.  Now stop holding me like I’m going to drop you, and enjoy yourself.”  You did as you were told, though tentatively, and looked at this man whom God had put into your life.  He wasn’t even breathing hard.  Showed you to doubt him - and yourself.

 

After walking across the threshold of your bedroom, he softly deposited you on the bed, leaned over, and kissed you.  Your fatigue seemed gone as your hands pulled him down on top of you, but just as clothing was starting to come off, his phone rang.  He ignored it, but then your phone rang.  You sighed and looked - Natasha.  He picked up quickly after that and smiled.

 

“This better not be some kind of prank to interrupt our wedding night.”

 

His face suddenly became serious as he pulled you abruptly off the bed and told you you had to go.  Now.  You ran down the stairs after him, your mind racing faster than your feet.  As you got to the bottom of the stairs, a projectile was thrown through a window and Steve turned towards you, wrapping his body around yours while it blew.  

 

“Steph, are you hurt?”

 

You noticed he flinched as he turned away from you. “I’m fine, what about you?”  He was bleeding, but not badly.

 

His phone rang again. “Nat, I thought you said we had time.  The cabin has been compromised, I need an alternate escape route now.”  He told you to stay low near the stairs as he ran around the room making the interior as dark as possible and used furniture to block windows and the door.  

 

Bucky was on the phone now. “The cabin is surrounded, but Sam and Tony are coming in now.  The agents on duty are down, but Weber is with me.  We’re coming in right after the flyers.  Keep Steph as far away from the windows as possible.”  The next thing you heard felt like the cabin was going to come down around you.  Steve covered you with his massive body as you made yourself as small as possible.  Air rushed through the huge hole blasted into the second floor, and someone you didn’t know rappelled in and landed right above you on the staircase.  It didn’t take a genius to figure out this was not a friend - Steve ran up the now-rickety steps and laid him out immediately.  Two more dropped in behind him and while you helplessly watched Steve engage them both, another came up behind you and tried to grab you by the waist.  You kicked and screamed, because you knew your life actually depended on it, and when Steve finished with his two he  turned to see your assailant attempting to rip off your dress in order to subdue you.  He leapt from his place at the top of the stairs and landed on both of you.  Your attacker definitely got the brunt of the impact, as he was out cold.

 

“Let’s go Mrs. Rogers.”  He pulled you by the hand towards the front door, where you saw members of the security detail, led by Bucky and Weber, with Tony and Sam flying overhead.  Whomever had attacked wasn’t sticking around for the end of the show.  Once Steve made sure you were ok, he checked in with the other protection details, and made sure you spoke to both your girls and your parents. You looked at the ruins of your beautiful cabin and felt horrible.  Steve’s voice made it clear that his primary emotion was anger.

 

“What the hell, Weber?  What in God’s name happened here? You told me that the guys from last night were  behind bars.  Who the hell did this?”

 

Weber was clearly upset, but in control.  She looked Steve right in the eye and gave the only explanation she had - these were different people.  “The prisoners have been on lockdown since last night.  I had one of my most trusted agents put his own eyes on them tonight, in person.  They are there.  We’ve got at least 4 of tonight’s squad in custody.  When they wake up, they’ll talk.  Then we’ll know.”  Steve hated that answer, but had to accept it, for now.  He wasn’t done yet, though, not by a long shot.  He knelt in front of you and held your hands.  You were shaken, but ok.  “Go Steve, do what you need to do.  I won’t get lost, don’t worry.  Weber will take care of me.”  He nodded at the agent, made sure her comm was on, and after she stepped away, kissed you and spoke quietly but decisively.  “When you get back to the compound, Dr. Cho is there.  She has something she needs to see you about.  Promise me you will, ok?”  You nodded and walked to Weber, waiting nearby.

 

He pulled Bucky aside. “Buck, if it hadn’t been for Nat, we would be dead.  Where is she?  I need to talk to her.”

 

“She’s back at the compound.  She said she will only talk to you and I.  No one else, debugged clean room, the whole nine yards.”  Weber looked at the two of them from a few paces away and wished for their super hearing.  She might be out of the inner circle, but she had the next best thing.  You chuckled at your state as Weber wrapped her arm around your shoulder.  “Two hours ago I was Belle dancing in the library.  Now I’m Cinderella before she meets her Fairy Godmother.”

 

Weber stopped and turned you towards her.  “Stephanie, believe me when I say, I am 100% confident that we will all have answers about what happened tonight, one way or another.”  As she turned you towards a car to take you to the compound, you saw Steve watching you walk away.  You touched your fingers to your lips, and he did the same, right before you got into the car and Weber shut the door.  


	23. We’ve Only Just Begun? Seriously?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were man and wife. Married. It was a safe bet that things were going to get worse before they got better, and there wouldn’t be an immediate happily-ever-after, and, unfortunately you were right on both counts. A day and evening filled with love and laughter was followed by a night filled with fear and terror. Just wait - the surprises don’t end there, not by a long shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I wrote this in like 2 days! I can’t believe it. I hope it doesn’t seem silly or stupid. I would love to hear what y’all think about this chapter - too far-fetched? (I mean, when you’re working off the premise of being married to Captain America, that is). Thanks for reading, I love hearing from all of you - it reinforces me and makes the time I spend on writing seem much more worthwhile. All my thanks - Steph

You took a deep breath as you slid into the backseat of the car, with Weber and another agent in the front seat.  Your dress was wrecked, but you still had your jewelry, which was what was most important to you.  You were silent as you were driven to the compound, and grateful that neither agent tried to start a conversation.  After a short ride, you pulled up the entrance, lit like a high school football stadium. Dr. Cho’s assistants were waiting for you as you pulled up, and had clearly been briefed on what had just happened.  Weber followed behind you towards the medical wing, but the doctor’s staff told her Helen wanted to see you alone, and that it would not take long.  Though Weber voiced her displeasure at letting you out of her sight, she agreed to meet up after she did what she needed to do.  

 

“Stephanie, tell me how you are.”  Even though Helen Cho was a genius, she always put patience and kindness above science when dealing with her patients.

 

“Physically, fine.  Steve protected me, as always.  I think I look a bit worse than I did this afternoon, though.”  Your half-hearted smile said the rest.

 

Helen looked you straight in the eye. “It was a gorgeous day filled with love and fun.  Nothing that happened tonight will change that, or change the fact that I can call you Mrs. Rogers now.”

 

“Thanks Helen.  It’s good to be reminded of that.  Now, Steve said you needed to see me.”

 

“Yes.  Do you remember the blood test you had done a couple of months before getting your marriage license?”  

 

“Yes, I was surprised we had to do that, but I was told all my results came back fine.  The lab deferred to you for Steve’s analysis due to his enhanced molecular profile.”

 

“Exactly.  As you may know all the enhanced members of the team get regular lab work to monitor for unexpected cellular growth or decay.  When we did the test for the license we could compare it to years’ worth of Steve’s bloodwork history, and the initial results were 100% in line with that historical record.  We reported this to the proper state agencies and, of course, you got the license.”  The pause that followed was just long enough and the breath she took just deep enough to make you sit up straighter and fidget with your wedding ring.

 

“After initial testing, it is standard procedure to use the remaining samples to perform certain tests that are experimental in nature.  This has been the protocol since the inception of SHIELD, in order to further medical research for the world at large by taking advantage of unique cellular structure that would otherwise not be available to us.  All the individuals know about this and have given their permission to do so, which has allowed for multiple medical breakthroughs for non-enhanced individuals over the years.  Besides his military service and bravery, Steve’s blood has provided the means for many other people’s lives to be saved.”

 

You sighed and smiled - just another reason to love this man.  “That’s wonderful, Helen, but I’m guessing you’re laying the foundation for what you need to tell me.”

 

She smiled back.  “Yes.  There are two things.  First, after the wedding blood work was done, I ordered two additional tests.  The first was an attempt to identify and map the vibranium we know Dr. Erskine used in his serum.  It took weeks of work and multiple experimental models, but we were lucky, we were able to look back in SHIELD's data files to find Steve’s tests prior to his transformation, as well as the impressive body of research that has been done in that area since then.  This led the team to find it, the missing link in re-creating the Super Soldier serum.”

 

You sat back, stunned.  It was the thing that had eluded brilliant scientific minds since the day Steve became Captain America.  You didn’t know what questions to ask, let alone think about the implications of this discovery.  “There must be people jumping up and down all over the place with this news.  I am surprised that you don’t already have orders for a working serum and test subjects lined up.”

 

“That’s because a complete formula doesn’t automatically equal a successful outcome.  Only a handful of people within the Avengers organization know about this, and Steve is one of them, along with Director Fury and Tony.  They were briefed, but it is highly classified information, as you can imagine.”

 

“Then how is it that you are telling me?  Now that we’re married is there some sort of exemption to security clearance?”

 

“Not quite.  Do you remember I said there was a second experiment we conducted?”  You nodded.

 

“Well, the second experiment was a result of the conversations Steve, you, and I had following your abduction, about whether or not the kidnappers were able to get anything about his molecular makeup from your blood, since the two of you had slept together.  It seemed a silly question with an obvious answer, since his transformation came about as a result of the formula and Howard Stark’s engineering.  Obviously, you weren’t exposed to either of those things.”

 

“Right, I remember those talks.  You said that you couldn’t guarantee it, but you felt fairly sure that my DNA or overall health would not be affected, but that it would be smart to use at least 2 methods of protection to be safe.  We have been.  Has something happened?”

 

“There is a short answer and a long answer.  The short answer is no, nothing has happened - you’re fine.  Your DNA has not been affected by Steve’s and remains intact, but in order to give you the long answer, I need to take some blood in order to compare it to the results of the wedding blood tests we performed.”

 

“Helen, should I be nervous about this?  Am I going to be able to lift cars over my head pretty soon?”  Your nervous laugh made it clear that your anxiety was starting to increase.

 

She smiled in the gentle way she always did.  “I wouldn’t try doing that just yet.  I don’t think it’s anything sinister at all, but I can’t answer your question until I compare your current and previous results to Steve’s. I wish I could give you something more, but I won’t know for at least a few hours.  Why don’t we get the sample.  Then you can shower and change into real clothes and by the time you and Steve meet up, I should be able to tell both of you what we found.”  

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Steve and Bucky paced in a clean room at the Compound, waiting for Natasha to tell them why Steve was not spending this night in his cabin with his wife.  He still had his uniform on, tattered as it was, as did Bucky, though his jacket was off.

 

When Nat walked in, both men practically pounced on her as they began yelling questions at the same time.

 

“Whoa. Stop.  I’m going to tell you everything I know, just give me one second.  Have a seat.”  Both men started pacing again while staring at her.  “Ok, then  _ I’ll _ sit.  You pace.”

 

“Near the end of the reception, I got a message that last night’s prisoners were finally talking.  The agents sent me the secure video link to the interrogation room and in two separate interviews, with two separate guys, each spilled that something was planned for tonight.  That, if their mission was unsuccessful, a backup plan was in place, to meet their objective.  I called you the minute I heard it, but obviously I was a little too late.”

 

Both men now sat across from her. “Do we know the objective?”  

 

“We do, and it’s not a surprise.  Steve, you were the target. Their objective last night was to get the goods to their rendezvous point and afterwards, to get another sample of your blood, any way possible.  Their bosses know the capsule we gave them last year that was supposed to contain Erskine’s missing element was fake.  Apparently they have all the pieces in place for the serum except one element, and they think you are the only source of it.” 

 

“But why….” Nat cut Bucky off before he could continue.

 

“They tried to take Steph because they suspect she may now be a carrier of your DNA given that you’ve been together, and if she’s not, to use her to coerce you into giving them a sample, directly from the source - no pre-packaged deliveries.”

 

“C’mon Nat, these guys aren’t stupid.  Steph and I have been tested several times to find out if that idea is even feasible, and Helen Cho has said, time and again, it isn’t.  You can’t become enhanced by sleeping with someone who is.  Though she told me she wanted to see Steph as soon as she arrived tonight, maybe she’s found something?”  

 

Bucky could no longer stay quiet.  “Wait Steve...Nat, they didn’t get what they wanted. We know their end game - they want Steve and they want to use Steph to get to him - what’s our play?”

 

Nat and Steve looked at their phones as they beeped simultaneously.  “Buck, Helen Cho wants to see us now.  She knows something.  Maybe that’ll help us answer that question.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Weber paced in the small meeting room outside of Dr. Cho’s office.  She had absolutely no idea what the meeting was about, but she needed to find out.  She looked at her personal phone, the exact duplicate of the Avenger-issued model, and noted a coded message.  She excused herself and went outside, where she was able to link up to HYDRA’s cloud-based communications array without being detected by Stark’s network - a handy trick her brother taught her. She entered the multiple password sequences and connected directly to William, who was waiting at his lab for the one remaining piece of the serum she promised she would provide.

 

“Give me an update El.  Tell me why our operatives from last night are in custody and we do not have the sample.  He is losing patience rapidly and there is only so many ways I can spin this.  I won’t be able to put him off much longer.”

 

“Tell him to go fuck himself, Wil.  He knows as well as I do that these situations are highly fluid and require flexibility and patience in order to be successful.  Our operatives are in custody because I tipped off Romanoff so I could tag along with the mission.  They are talking because I gave the agents enough leverage that they would be terrified not to.  We don’t have Rogers yet because he is a goddamn super soldier who knows how to survive and there is a fucking army of Avengers protecting him and his new bride.”

 

“Fine.  That’s what I told him, in so many words.  He accepted it, for now.  I’m getting in touch because he said you have 48 hours to get the sample to me.  I don’t need to spell out the consequences for you - he’s serious.”

 

“Ok, here’s what’s going to happen.  As the head of the security detail I am going to ask for a meeting to get a plan of action.  After that I’ll know what’s going on.  Plan on hearing from me within three hours.” Ellie sighed and, for the first time in her recent memory, fear started creeping into the edges of her consciousness.  What she predicted had come true - HYDRA was going to threaten her with her only weakness, her twin brother.  They didn’t have to say it for her to know it was true.  _____________________________________________________________________________________

You and Steve finally saw each other in his suite at the Compound.  You had just stepped out of the shower and were getting dressed in clothes you found there, as you were not prepared to be wearing much more than sexy lingerie at this point on your wedding night.  When he knocked and opened the door, announcing his entrance so as not to scare you, you ran to him, tears falling as you hugged each other as tightly as possible.  He lifted your chin and kissed you.

 

“Hi Mrs. Rogers.”  He smiled, in spite of the situation, “I absolutely love saying that.”

 

“Well, I love hearing it, Captain.”  Now was not the time to giggle at your husband’s civilian title, no matter how funny it was.

 

After you updated each other, and Steve showered and changed, you walked hand in hand to Helen’s lab.  When you arrived, Bucky, Nat, Helen, Nick Fury, Bruce Banner, and Tony were waiting.  You found it extremely difficult to hold your own among this crowd, and panic started creeping its way up your spine.

 

The Director wasn’t going to waste any time. “Dr. Cho, tell us what you found.  We’ve got a plan to put in place.”

 

Steve looked completely serious when he said, “...and I’ve got a honeymoon to commence.”  You smiled and the rest of the group chuckled, fully aware of the very small chance of that happening anytime soon.

 

Helen turned to face you and Steve.  The panic got more intense and you started to sweat.  “We compared the blood test results from before the wedding and tonight for both of you.  We were looking for any changes that either confirmed or denied my theory.”

 

“Which is????” Fury was getting peeved.  Well, maybe - he always looked that way, to you.

 

“That, despite our regular testing in the two years since the two of you started dating, and even though there has never been a single reason to suspect anything, something  _ has _ started happening to Steph’s blood.  The results from two months ago showed such a slight difference, one so small and within the statistically-average range that neither our software protocols nor our techs that read the results identified an issue.”

 

You felt like you were going to be sick as visions of your daughters passed through your head.  Steve grabbed your hands in his, waiting, “...and now? Is something different?”

 

“Yes, and it answered one of our big questions, one that we didn’t know would ever be answered.”  She looked at both of you and smiled, “Congratulations, you’re pregnant.”

 

You were not smiling. You must’ve looked like you were going to pass out because five very super beings immediately rushed towards you.  Steve and Bucky got you up on an exam table and Helen took your vitals, which were mostly good, given the circumstances.  You felt frozen, comatose, unable to speak.  Steve had not taken his eyes or hands off of you.  You barely heard him when he asked what you were thinking about, if you were ok.  You didn’t answer with anything more than a nod of your head while keeping your eyes screwed shut in order to keep the tears at bay.

 

Steve asked everyone but Helen to leave the room.  As they filed out, Bucky kissed your forehead, whispering how proud he was of you and how happy he was to be an uncle.  You finally opened your eyes to look at him, but you could still only nod.

 

After they were gone you found your voice.  “Helen, how? How did this happen? We’ve been using two, and sometimes three kinds of birth control at once since my abduction.  How far along am I? How???” you had started to cry, and Steve cupped your face in his hands.  “Baby, whatever is going on, we’re going to deal with it together.  Let’s just let the doc answer.”  You nodded back at him.

 

“I wish I knew, Stephanie.  I know you guys have reported complete fidelity using contraception, and that you were obviously not pregnant last year when you were abducted.  My answers are a guess, and obvious ones at that - your contraception was defective, you had unprotected sex, or there is something unknown in Steve’s sperm that has some kind of increased life expectancy after ejaculation.”  

 

Steve was turning all kinds of red and went to get a glass of water.  “Regardless, you are definitely pregnant.  The only thing left to do tonight is an ultrasound.  Are you up for that?”  You nodded.  Even though you were in complete shock, you would never say no to an exam.  It had been a long time since you’d needed to do this, but the memories came back as you lifted up your shirt and pulled your pants down to your hips. 

 

Helen smeared the cold goopy liquid over your abdomen and began to move the probe in search of a heartbeat.  You closed your eyes, but you knew Steve’s were glued to the monitor.  Given your history of miscarriage you braced yourself for the worst.  It didn’t happen.  All of a sudden the whomp-whomp-whomp sound of the heartbeat filled the room.  

 

“There it is!  A healthy, strong heartbeat.  Let’s measure the little one.”  After she did her calculations, she added, “We don’t know if growth rate and size are going to be affected by the father’s molecular makeup, but regardless, you look to be about 10 or 11 weeks along.  Almost in your second trimester.”  You were finally smiling a bit and saw your husband brushing away tears.  “Helen, thank you.  I don’t know how this happened, but I’m glad we know.  Am I under any restrictions?”

 

“Well, remember, I’m not an OB/GYN so I can’t answer with complete certainty, but I would say it’s a pretty good bet that you and the baby are great.  You’re going to have to make sure you setup a visit with your doctor and I will need you to sign a release to let me talk to him, as I’ll need to continue monitoring the fetus given its father’s enhanced status.  He may even want me to be the primary on this, which would be fine with me.”  The thought of that - of starting over, of going to OB visits more than once a year, of having a potentially special baby - threw you back into emotional turmoil, but you kept it under control this time.  You wiped the goop off your belly and stood up to get dressed and were surprised when Helen hugged you, then Steve.  “I’m very happy for both of you.  We already know you’ll be superb parents.”

 

Without thinking, you walked out of the exam room and back to Steve’s suite.  As you walked by the room where Bucky and Weber were leading a meeting of the security agents, you saw him turn and wink at you and Weber give you a thumbs up and smile.  You grabbed Steve’s hand and walked away in silence.

 

“Steve, I’m sorry.”  It was all you could think of to say. 

 

“Why?  What could you possibly have to be sorry for?  I guarantee that I am the happiest man on the planet right now.”

 

“...because I don’t know how I feel.  I want to be ecstatic with you, happy with you, excited about the future, but I just…..” you turned away from him, ashamed of what you were thinking and feeling.

 

“Just what?  Overwhelmed? Upset? Sad? Scared?  Am I close?”  You looked over at him and nodded, with tears coming fast and furious down your face.  He sat next to you on the bed and put his arm around your shoulders.  “I get it.  I get that this isn’t what we talked about - probably not even what you wanted, but some way, somehow, it happened.  I know it’s going to take time to adjust to the idea, but you got this my love.  You are a pro at this Mom thing - I’m the one who should be nervous as hell.” You leaned your head on his shoulder and yawned while your tears slowed.  “Come on.  Before all this started tonight, we were going to get some sleep.  Let’s do that.”  As you laid your head on his chest you both instinctively placed your hand on the part of your belly where Helen had located the heartbeat.  After a few moments, the tidal wave of thoughts in your mind gave way to deep, dreamless sleep.

_____________________________________________________________________________________ Ellie Weber had not been this happy in a very long time.  When Sergeant Moron shared the news of Stephanie’s very unexpected pregnancy (though she had no idea why it was unexpected, those two went at it nonstop), she beamed.  After the briefing about last night’s incident and the injuries incurred by the two agents-on-duty, she went back to her room, since the newlyweds were spending the night in Rogers’ suite and the regular duty rotation was in place.  She called her brother just under the 3-hour mark.  

 

“You’re never going to believe our luck.  Stephanie Rogers is pregnant.  They just found out.”

 

“From a medical perspective, that does present some interesting opportunities, but I’m guessing that you have other thoughts.”

 

“Hell yes!  This is the best of both worlds - a package deal.  It’s going to take an act of God to get him away from her, now.  So we take them together - there’s no way he’s going to fight us if we have his wife and child at stake.  Is the lab ready?”

 

“Yes, but now you’ve got me thinking.  Harvesting fetal stem cells for future use is an attractive proposition we shouldn’t bypass.  We could make incredible discoveries just by comparing the father’s sample to his offspring.  I’m going to instruct the lab team to prep for amniocentesis and possible fetal sampling.  The mother has nothing we want, but if we can use her and the fetus as leverage to get Rogers’ DNA, we’ll keep her alive until we no longer need her.  We’re working off less than 45 hours until we need to deliver.  What do you need from me, El?”

_____________________________________________________________________________________

You opened your eyes and laughed to find your husband staring at you.  It was early, but that was nothing new.  You felt much more like yourself.

 

“You know what surprised me the most about last night’s news?”  Steve raised his eyebrows and smiled, waiting for you to continue.  

 

“That, in retrospect, I didn’t pick up on any of the signals.  I have had very screwy periods for awhile  now, so a light one followed by a couple months without one didn’t surprise me, and I’ve been tired, but that’s not new either.”  

 

“...and no morning sickness.”  

 

“That one  _ doesn’t _ surprise me - I didn’t have it with either Lizzy or Gabbi - but there’s one big difference.  This is the first time I’ve been knocked up by super sperm, and maybe that affected me in some way, as well as the baby.”  You laughed at how crimson he was while he tried to collect his thoughts.

 

“Steph, I was thinking about the timeline Dr. Cho gave us - about 10 or so weeks ago, right?  I looked at a calendar this morning and I realized something.  John and Sue’s wedding was about that time, and we spent a long weekend at the cabin, so…..I don’t think we can rule out that this is on us, just plain ol’ fooling around.”  

 

You nodded.  “Well, it was certainly worth it.  If I remember correctly, that weekend was pretty freaking amazing, and amazing, and amazing, and amazing.”  Both of you laughed for the first time since the wedding reception, which was a relief and felt wonderful.  You turned towards him and started running your fingertips across his chest. “I have to warn you about something, though.  You know how some women have food cravings during pregnancy?  Well, I never did, I craved something a little more….interactive.”  You smiled when he raised his eyebrows.  “When I was pregnant with both girls - which admittedly, was a long time ago - I wanted to have sex all the time, especially during my second trimester.  Once we knew everything was alright and 12 weeks had passed, it was like every hormone in my body went into overdrive.  Just wanted to give you advanced notice that even you may be tired out before too long.”

 

You expected that gorgeously endearing blush to appear, but instead he kissed you, hard.  “The doc did say no restrictions, right?”  Your response was to get up, put FRIDAY on guard mode, lock the door to his suite and to the bedroom - could never be too careful when Tony in the building - and take off your pajamas as you walked back to bed.  Steve closed the blinds and met you at the edge of the bed, standing beautifully naked.  You smiled wickedly as you kissed, and almost squealed as he sat down and pulled you between his legs, kissing your belly.  That got his attention and he looked up at you.  

 

“I just remembered the best part of pregnancy,” as you pushed him on his back and crawled over him and smiled.  “No need for protection, since I’m already in the family way.”  He laughed with you and proceeded to run his hands down your back to your behind, kissing you and helping you get properly situated before taking him in, slowly and deliciously.  You leaned forward and closed your eyes as the incredible sensations almost made you come right then and there.  Steve sat up and wrapped his arms around your waist while moving inside you, causing you to moan a string of words that were unintelligible, except for “fuck,” “yes,” and “more” (you know, the most important ones). 

 

“Get on top baby, please. I want you there, please.”  He stopped everything he was doing, which was not what you were hoping for.  You pushed your hair out of your face, “What’s wrong?”  He looked sheepish and adorable.  “I don’t want to hurt you or the baby.”  Oh my God, you could not love him more if you tried.  “I’ve done this before, trust me.  I would never do anything that would hurt the baby.  Now please, turn me over and make me forget my new name.”  Needless to say, he did as he was asked and your first time together as a married couple was indeed memorable - for both of you and to whomever was in earshot.

 

FRIDAY politely interrupted with a message from Bucky to call him, “once you’re done having fun.”  You both laughed, and then you sighed, knowing the honeymoon was over, for now.  You asked FRIDAY to inform Sergeant Barnes it was safe to come over and made breakfast for the three of you.  You weren’t surprised when Weber accompanied him, and started to preview their plan.  

 

Steve started to talk before she could get a word out.  “Before you get started Agent Weber, you should know that in no way will Stephanie be involved with this mission.” You turned to him with a surprised expression.  “Don’t look at me that way, babe.  You aren’t getting near anything that would put you or the baby in danger.” 

 

Everyone knew better than to argue.  “Absolutely Captain Rogers, that’s why we were going to suggest moving each of you to a separate safehouse, since you appear to be the target and they’ve used Stephanie to force our hand in the past.”  You grabbed Steve’s hand.  You definitely did not want to be separated from him, waiting to hear what was going on whenever someone saw fit to inform you.  “Please Ellie, no.  Please don’t separate us.  It’s bad enough I can’t be with my children or friends without endangering them, don’t make me leave one of the only people that I feel safe with.  Bucky?”

 

“We figured you’d say that doll, and we’re willing to consider keeping you together, but we wanted to hear what Steve thinks.”  All eyes turned towards the man who managed to look thoughtful while eating a mountainous pile of breakfast food.  When he sighed and looked at you before speaking, you knew you were outnumbered.  “Steph, I think they are right.  The closer you are to me, the closer you are to danger.  I can’t do what I need to do if my priority is keeping you safe.  I couldn’t even protect you last night, and I was only 10 steps away when they tried to take you.”  You hung your head, resigned.  

 

Bucky forced you to look at him.  “Steph, I will be assigned to you, with Weber and Collins as backup.  You know you guys are my family.  I would never let anything happen to you.  We think this is going to be a quick mission - identify the location of the lab, infiltrate, take prisoners, and send the bastards to jail.  You don’t even have to leave the safe house.”  Though you hated every word, you had no rational argument to refute their perspective, so you didn’t say anything except to ask when you were leaving.

 

Weber was prepared, “We can leave whenever you’re ready.  I will escort Captain Rogers to his site in the chopper, then meet up with Sergeant Barnes and Agent Collins at your safehouse, by which time we’ll have the operation timeline and hopefully be ready to commence the operation.”

 

By the time you were ushered into an unmarked service vehicle with Bucky and Collins driving, you had showered, changed, packed what little you could, cried, and kissed your husband within an inch of his life.  He insisted that medical personnel be assigned to your detail, and you didn’t argue.  You hated the deja vu you got when you held up your fingers to your lips, and he to his, as the car pulled away.    

 

“C’mon Weber, let’s get this done.”  Steve walked to the landing pad, buckled in, and guzzled down a water bottle while Weber did the pre-flight checklist before piloting the helicopter to the second safe house.  A few minutes after takeoff, he noticed he was dizzy and disoriented, and that Weber had changed direction.  When he attempted to ask her what was going on, she plunged a needle full of tranquilizers big enough to knock out a hippopotamus into his neck.  The mangled hatch handle was the only evidence of a struggle.  

 

When he woke up, Steve was strapped down within an inch of his life, and could see an IV drip, with what he assumed was more sedative, inserted into his arm and a small bandage covering the area on his upper right arm where a tracker chip had been, and was now removed.  Damnit.  The room was dark, but a nearby overhead light illuminated what looked to be a laboratory with a group of people huddled around some equipment.  The only person he recognized was Agent Weber.   She quickly noticed he was awake, and as she walked toward him, she smiled in a way that made Steve very, very angry.

 

“Hello Captain.  Welcome to CGS labs.  I’d like to introduce you to my brother, Dr. William Weber Strucker.”  Though he tried hard not to visibly react to that last name, Steve couldn’t help but wince.  Agent Weber’s face softened as the man walked towards them.  He spoke with authority, as an educated and entitled man would, and it was clear his sister cared deeply for him. “Captain Rogers you’re here today as the last piece of a complex puzzle.  In short, we need your blood to help us create more soldiers like you.  In fact, with the help of your wife and unborn child, we think we can do even better and possibly force human evolution forward another step.”  Steve spoke words he had never before uttered.  “You touch her, and I will kill you and every person you care about.  Take my word for it.  Agent, you know I don’t make idle threats.”

 

“I’ll make sure I tell my brother just before I relieve Sergeant Barnes and take your lovely wife for a short car trip.  Enjoy your stay and our hospitality, Captain.  I’ll be back soon with company.”  Steve strained against the harness holding him down, only succeeding in making the table come perilously close to tipping over. 

 

Ellie turned to her brother and motioned him to follow her.  “He’s right, you should not underestimate him, not for one second.  Keep two guards armed with both bullets and tranquilizer cartridges on him at all times.”

____________________________________________________________________________________

You were quiet as you walked toward the nondescript safe house.  Bucky and Agent Collins walked in first, did a quick sweep, and then allowed you inside.  It was the middle of the morning, and you felt disconnected, out of place and time.  In less than 24 hours, you had married the man of your dreams, almost got blown up, found out you were pregnant, been reunited and separated from your husband, and secluded in a house guarded by armed agents.  Surreal was not an adequate enough description for your life - Dali-esque, maybe?    

 

After you put your backpack down and sat down on your bed for a bit, Bucky called up the stairs, “C’mon doll, lunch is ready.”  You wanted to brood and be alone, but your stomach was growling.  Damnit.  You walked downstairs to Bucky, the medic Agent Edwards, and Agent Collins holding a homemade banner that read, “Congratulations!  A wedding and a baby all in one day- It’s a miracle!”  You laughed, hard.  Then hit Bucky, less hard.  He hugged you and shooed you towards the table where lunch waited.  You thanked them and sat down, “Bucky, can I call Steve or the girls?”  He looked at you with a regretful expression.  “Sorry, doll, not yet.  We don’t know the extent to which you and Steve are being tracked.  Don’t worry, Weber will give us an update when she arrives, which should be soon.”  Lunch was quiet, and you gave Bucky a withering look when he attempted to prevent you from doing dishes.  “Would your Ma have tolerated someone telling her not to do something because she was pregnant?” He shook his head. “I didn’t think so.”

 

By the time you made coffee and found some cookies, Weber arrived.  She was a mess and seemed more serious than usual, walking directly to Bucky and Collins without acknowledging you.  You turned away from them and started to grip the edge of the counter, desperately trying to stop negative thoughts from taking over.  You jumped when Bucky walked up behind you and gently placed his arm on your shoulder.  You turned around slowly and saw worry in his eyes.  “What is it?  Tell me Bucky, please.”

 

“Weber was piloting the chopper when they experienced engine trouble.  She needed to put down in a field less than a few miles from the safe house. It was an ambush - the mercs were waiting.  The last thing Weber remembers is getting a couple of rounds off before she was hit with what must have been a sedative.  She woke up a while later and had to hike to the nearest town before calling in the team to get a ride here.  She doesn’t know where Steve is, but she knows where they went down and figures if she gets back there she can find him.”

 

Your hand instinctively slid to your stomach, now your lifeline to Steve.  Bucky’s face searched yours and he gently took your hands in his much larger ones.  “Steve is going to be fine, Steph.  He’s been through much worse than this.  It’s what he was made for.  Why don’t you go upstairs and lay down?  Even if you don’t sleep, you don’t want to stay down here and listen to every detail.”  You nodded and walked slowly up the stairs, and when you got to your room, laid down and cried until you fell asleep.

 

You woke up with a start and realized Weber was shaking you awake. “What is it?  What’s going on? Is Steve ok?”

 

“We don’t know, but this location has been compromised.  We need to move.  Now.”

 

You moved as quickly as possible, pulling on your shoes and one of Steve’s hoodies that you grabbed for good luck before leaving the Compound.  “Where are Bucky and the others?”  

 

“They’ve gone ahead to the new safe house, Barnes wanted to personally clear it before bringing you there, and he thought it might make you feel more comfortable if I transported you, rather than one of the guys.”  

 

“He was right.  Thanks for doing it.” You scanned the main floor of the house before walking out the door, but everything looked as it did when you arrived earlier in the day.  You stepped out and quickly slid into the back of the waiting car, holding nothing more than a backpack.  

 

As you drove away you didn’t notice the orange glow coming from the rear of the property or the smoke caused by the fire Weber had set in the basement, where Bucky, Collins, and Edwards were currently tied to support beams, groggily coming out of a tranquilized fog.  

_____________________________________________________________________________________

This was the third tense car ride you’d taken in less than 24 hours.  Not only were you physically and emotionally exhausted, you were starting to get mad.  Like “snap-at-whomever-speaks-with-you-next-no matter-what-they-say” mad.  Somewhere along the way, you must have drifted off to sleep, and only woke when the car stopped and Weber got out and opened your door.  The sun was setting and the glare was in your eyes.  

 

“Are we here?”

 

“Almost.  Sergeant Barnes radioed and asked us to make one stop before we get to the next house.  Apparently, this is a medical facility and he wants to make sure that we get any supplies that Agent Edwards requires in order to keep you and the baby healthy.  I would’ve let you sleep, but I didn’t want you to wake up alone without knowing where you were.  Would you like to come in?  Just stretch your legs, use the bathroom?”

 

“Have you ever been pregnant, Ellie?”  She shook her head “no” in response.  “Well, you just figured out one of the most vital pregnancy guidelines.  Never pass up the chance to go to the bathroom.”  She smiled at you as she pressed the buzzer and held the door open when you were allowed in.  You walked into a waiting room of a warehouse in the rear of the main building.  You found the bathroom when you walked in, and quickly met up with Ellie again while she waited for the medical supplies.  You felt so comfortable with her that you didn’t need to fill the time with small talk, which you knew she hated.

 

Ellie was pacing and repeatedly checking her watch.  She despised standing still.

 

“How long did they say it was going to take?”  

 

“They should be done by now.  It’s a Sunday, so no surprise there’s no office staff.  I want to find the kid who said he was filling the order, but I don’t want to leave you here.  I would normally just get back on the road, but Barnes made it clear that we needed these supplies.  Neither of these options are great, but do you want to wait here or do you want to come investigate with me?”  There was no way you were staying by yourself in a new place.  You gestured for her to lead the way, and followed behind as she walked through the warehouse door.

 

It took a moment for your eyes to adjust to the relative darkness of the warehouse, and that’s all it took for you and Weber to be grabbed from behind by people you never saw coming.  You lost track of your guardian when you were turned around and your right arm was twisted behind your back.  As you screamed, they pulled a blindfold over your eyes and the last thing you saw was the ironically strong and graceful logo that had haunted your nightmares for the last year - CGS Pharmaceuticals.  It was the last thing you remember before passing out.

 

When you woke up, you were groggy and scared.  Yes, for yourself, but more so for the baby.  You could barely reach your belly with your fingertips, but you prayed your and Steve’s little one was ok.  

There was nothing else you could do, other than keep your wits about you, stay alert, and do everything in your power to stay alive.  When someone came up to you to insert an IV, you shouted out questions, asked where Ellie was, why they were doing this, what they wanted, told them you were pregnant, and begged them not to hurt your baby.  Your visitor was silent, not even making eye contact before trying several times to find a vein.  For once, it was good that you had “the worst veins ever” and that you usually required the most skillful phlebotomist, or even doctor, to run lines for you. After a 4th unsuccessful attempt, he left and you heard your name.  You started to scream “Ellie?  Is that you?” but didn’t get any response.  

___________________________________________________________________________________

When Steve started to come out of another drug-induced fog, he didn’t know if it was day or night, but he could’ve sworn he heard Steph’s voice.  He focused as much as possible and picked out words like, “Weber” and “baby.”  It had to be her.  He yelled her name, pulling against the restraints again.  When he did not get an answer, he doubled his efforts to get free, but between the sedative and the double-stitched leather straps holding down every part of his body, even he wasn’t going anywhere.  

 

As Agent Weber and her brother approached him, Steve took the quiet approach.  “Weber, or should I say Strucker,  is Stephanie here?  I could have sworn I heard her a few minutes ago.”

 

Weber turned towards her brother and then slowly turned back to Steve, smiling.  “Why, yes she is.  She actually thinks that I was captured as well and she was asking for me, making sure I was ok.  She really is a naive idiot - she doesn’t even realize when she should be worried about herself instead of someone else.  Doesn’t matter though, we couldn’t get her IV started, apparently her uselessness extends to her veins - the tech couldn’t run the line.  No worries, we don’t necessarily need sedation to get what we want.”  As Steve started to struggle again, Weber pulled out her service revolver and placed the muzzle squarely against his temple.  “Honestly, Captain, you’re worth more to us alive than dead, but we can get what we need either way.  Wil, go ahead - he’s not going anywhere - the woman in the next room means way too much to him, or is it the baby she’s carrying?”

 

Her brother cleaned and prepped the area for the blood draw and took several vials.  When Ellie looked at him with a curious expression, he explained.  “Why not take more since we’ve got him here?  It’s always good to have multiple samples just in case.  Plus, who knows what kind of goodies we’ll get from the fetal stem cells - it might make him obsolete.”  The veins in Steve’s neck looked they were going to pop from the amount of force he was using to strain against the restraints.  Weber took the opportunity to smash the butt of the gun down on his forehead, causing not only copious bleeding but loss of consciousness.  Without hesitation, they walked to the next patient to get what they needed to realize their destiny.


	24. The Big Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You thought Ellie Weber was your protector, your friend, and a trusted SHIELD agent. She was none of these things, and you were about to find out through an act of betrayal that took your breath away. Your protectors - Steve and Bucky - weren’t there to save you, in fact, no one was. Your only thought was to save your unborn baby, at any cost necessary. Your enemy’s objective was to sacrifice whomever got in the way of their plans to create the next race of Super Soldiers, and Ellie Weber was really hoping you got in the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter felt weird. I had to rewrite it a bunch of times, and I think it’s because I’m much less sure of myself when it comes to action, rather than personal relationships. Hey, what can I say? I feel very lucky to not have ever been captured by an evil organization and need my superhero husband and best friend to save me. So, I’d love feedback about your thoughts on this chapter - good, bad, or in between. Oh, and ladies and gentlemen - the queen has returned - the bestest beta in the world, @MsEnglish101, this world o’mine is much better because of her.

The first thing he felt was a throbbing headache.  As he tried shaking himself awake, Bucky smelled smoke, rocketing him into fight-or-flight mode.  The last thing he remembered was Weber getting him, Collins, and Edwards downstairs with a story about a potential threat, being exposed to some kind of airborne sedative, and then getting a large syringe jabbed into his neck.  Those thoughts ran pretty quickly through his head, as he realized how close the three of them were to the fire, and that both of his arms were tied to a load-bearing beam.  

 

“Collins! Edwards!  You alright?” When he heard nothing, he struggled against the restraints, but knew he could not knock out the beam - even he couldn’t survive a house falling on top of him.  Thank God not many people knew that the vibranium plates in his arm were razor sharp when flexed.  After a brief struggle to hitch the ropes up past his wrist, he started to saw at them, which was made more difficult by the odd angle and the increasingly thick smoke.  As soon as he felt the ropes start to give, he pulled them apart and went straight for the two men.  

 

Both Collins and Edwards were unconscious, but Bucky felt a weak pulse from each.  He tore their wrist restraints off and carried one over each shoulder, out of the basement, to the backyard.  After not-so-gently setting them down, he turned to go back into the house, which was quickly becoming engulfed. 

 

He had only thing on his mind - Stephanie was upstairs.  “Steph!!  Doll!”  He reached the top of the stairs but could hardly see or breathe.  The door to her room was closed, and after checking the door for heat, he opened it and saw the bed covers thrown to the floor, with no sign of her or her things.  Weber.  He breathed as deeply as he could with his shirt covering his mouth, and made for the stairs, which had become impassable.  He turned back to Steph’s room, which looked out on the backyard.  He had no choice but to jump.  When he landed, Collins was sitting up and covering Edwards with his body, to protect him from any debris or escaping flames from the window break.

 

As they regrouped and both men tended to Edwards, Bucky used a comm unit in one of the vehicles to call emergency personnel and get in touch with the team at the Compound.  When Natasha got on the phone, he filled her in quickly. “Nat, Weber’s gone.  She tried to get rid of us and must have Steph with her.  We have to find them immediately.  Shit, she transported Steve to his safehouse - have you heard from him?”  After Romanoff told him she hadn’t, she quickly disconnected from Bucky and assembled the team.  It took no more than 5 minutes for the jet to be in the air and a plan put in place to find their Captain.

__________________________________________________________________________

You woke up gasping for air, struggling to fill your lungs with enough oxygen to keep you conscious.  As the panic subsided and you started to breathe more normally, you were brought back to your miserable reality.  You knew you were in a CGS facility.  You knew the woman you trusted with your life, as well as the lives of everyone you loved, was also in danger somewhere in the same building.  Lastly, you knew that some bad shit was going down.  Everything that had happened since your wedding night seemed to be related to CGS - the attack designed to harvest the missing element of Erskine’s formula, Steve’s disappearance, your current situation - all pointed to the company that had originally taken you in order to create their own race of Super Soldiers.  

 

You may have stage-whispered “son of a mother fucker” while you laid there.  You didn’t care who heard you because you were getting pretty goddamn sick of these assholes.  Though you were scared, you were also pissed - this time they weren’t only messing with you, but with your unborn child, and possibly with a very close friend who had protected you faithfully on more than one occasion.  You prayed that Bucky and Collins would come looking for you after they realized you hadn’t checked into the new safehouse.  Bucky saved you once, and you knew he wouldn’t hesitate to do whatever was necessary to save you again.  You tried your best not to think of Steve.

 

After you turned your head in every possible direction, you realized there were people talking a short distance from you, but just far enough away so that you could not see or hear them clearly.  You focused and heard the low rumble of a discussion followed by someone coming toward you.  You almost cried from relief when you realized it was Ellie.  She came up to you, grabbed your hand, and smiled as tears started to fall.

 

“Ellie!  Oh my God, are you ok?  What’s going on? Get me untied, we have to go!”

 

“Steph, I’m fine, but I’m afraid I can’t release you.”

 

You were extremely confused. “Why?  What do you mean?”

 

She turned her head and nodded towards a man walking towards the both of you.  “We need you, and more importantly, your baby.”

 

“Ellie, what the hell are you talking about? What’s going on? Who is this?”  The man started to speak as Weber looked to him with familiarity, and more surprisingly, tenderness.

 

“Mrs. Rogers, I am Dr. William Weber Strucker, President of CGS Pharmaceuticals.  My sister has spoken about you often, it is a pleasure to finally meet you.”  He turned towards the woman you knew as Ellie Weber and smiled.  You started to feel nauseous when she smiled back, turned to you, and firmly held your arm down while her brother found a vein and successfully inserted an IV.   The sounds of your retching and sobbing echoed in the wide-open warehouse as Weber’s betrayal started to sink in.  Your fear gave way to all-consuming panic, followed by sweating and shaking.  Weber clearly struggled to keep you still while her brother completed the first part of the procedure.

 

“She’s dehydrated.  We need to get some fluids in her to make sure her numbers are acceptable before the procedure.  As a precaution, we’re also going to run antibiotics, to try and ward off infection or sepsis, since this isn’t a sterile environment.”

 

“How long until we’ve got what we needed?  We’re getting down to the wire.  I don’t have to remind you we’re on a deadline.”  Her brother’s small smile was accompanied by eye rolling. “No, you don’t need to remind me.  We’ll check her levels again in 2 hours, and go from there.  I’ve already checked in and told him to expect preliminary results by the 48-hour mark.” He turned to you, “See you in a couple of hours, Mrs. Rogers.  Try to get some rest.” Fat fucking chance there, dickwad.

 

The fluids eased your sweating and shaking, but nothing could prevent betrayal and anger from overwhelming you.   You looked at Weber, still standing nearby, and started speaking, trying unsuccessfully to keep your emotions in check.

 

“Ellie, how could you do this to me? To SHIELD? To my girls?  Every single one of us trusted you completely, with our lives.  What did we - I - ever do to deserve this?  I don’t understand.  Whatever it is, please don’t take it out on the baby.  I’ll give you whatever you want, but please….” You grabbed out for her, and managed to snag a small piece of her jacket with your fingertips.   

 

She turned around and grabbed your wrist. “What did you ever do to me? Personally, nothing, but feel free to blame your new husband for your current predicament.  He is the reason we’re here, hiding in a god-forsaken warehouse in the middle of nowhere, trying to regain the pride and power our family once had.  The day he met you was the best day of our lives, so meeting  _ him _ is what you did to deserve this.  If those idiots who kidnapped you last year had done what I told them to, Rogers would have never passed a phony sample in at your hand-off, and none of the torture of putting up with you all for the last year would have been necessary.” 

 

You didn’t know who this person was.  This was not the person who had been protecting you all this time, the person you trusted with your life, even worse, your children’s lives.  “At least tell me what your brother is going to do to me.  We both know I’m not getting out of this, so at least let me prepare for what’s going to happen.  As a human being, at least let me make my peace with my end, please.”  Weber dropped your wrist and walked away without saying a word or looking back.

___________________________________________________________________________

Bucky paced maniacally in the back of the jet.  All attempts to communicate with him were met with stares and silence.  With each step he cursed himself for being such a goddamned idiot, for not seeing who Weber was, for letting her take his family.  There was no doubt in his mind he would find her and no doubt as to what he would do to her when he did.   He turned his head when Natasha and Tony started talking.

 

“Steve’s GPS chip is no longer transmitting, hasn’t been for 2 days.  We’ll be landing in a minute where the last known coordinates were transmitted, and from there, we’ll do the best we can to triangulate his location.  Barnes, what are your thoughts on Steph? Do you think Weber is holding them in the same place?”

 

He thought before answering.  “From a defensive standpoint, that would not be my first choice.  Weber knows we will be looking for them, and to split  _ them _ up would split  _ us _ up, which works in their favor because we would be fighting on two fronts...but given the timeframe of when they were each taken, I think there’s a good chance they’re together.”  

 

After a pause, he got out what was really eating him.  “I’ve been thinking - Weber thinks I’m out of the picture, right?  What worries me is that she may come to the conclusion that it’s not worth the trouble to keep Steph alive after they’re done with her, because she’s not worth as much to you guys as Steve.”

 

Almost everyone listening, particularly Sam, was outraged by the insinuation that they valued Steve’s life more than Stephanie’s, that they would let her be sacrificed for his sake.  Natasha was the notable exception.  She was in the same place she was over a year ago during the kidnapping - she had come to care very much for Stephanie, and she knew it sounded ruthless to agree with Barnes, but Steve  _ was _ the priority.  She was the only one brave enough to say it.

 

Bruce spoke up and, as usual, everyone stopped their bickering to listen.  “Weber knows about the baby, and she also knows that by herself, Stephanie won’t give them anything that would help them meet their objective.  Scientifically speaking, we know the fetus she’s carrying is unique.  It carries Steve’s DNA, even though we don’t know exactly what that means at this time.  My bet is they’re not only using Steph as leverage, but they’re planning on harvesting genetic material and comparing it to Steve’s sample.  If I had to guess, I’d say they’ve got them together, not only for emotional blackmail, but to expedite their work.”

 

The jet was silent, save for the sounds of machinery.  A minute later, Tony spoke, “The consensus seems to be that they’re together.  Let’s work off that premise until we know something different.”  The team gathered around maps of the area where Steve’s tracker last transmitted.   A plan was in place before the jet touched down. 

 

As Bucky and Natasha suited up, he made a point of telling her, “Just to make it clear, my objective is Steph.  Once she’s safe, then it’s Weber.  I’m not asking for permission.”  Nat nodded and prepared to disembark with the rest of the team.

______________________________________________________________________________

Steve floated in and out of consciousness.  Whatever they were giving him was not only sedating him but prompting auditory hallucinations.  He had no frame of reference from which to judge what was real and what was not - since they took his blood, he hadn’t talked to another person, only seeing a silent technician who changed his IV bags.  He heard Steph’s voice - she was crying - but he couldn’t think clearly enough to help her, so he closed his eyes and prayed.  He asked his and Bucky’s mothers - the two women that raised and loved him - to watch over his wife, to protect her and if possible, the baby.  The thought of Sarah Rogers and Rebecca Barnes near his wife and child brought him a small measure of peace.  That was soon shattered when he heard the unmistakable sound of his wife screaming.

_____________________________________________________________________________

As the tech arrived with another bag to hang from your IV, you closed your eyes and let the tears fall.  You didn’t see Weber approach, but snapped open your eyes when you heard her speak.  The bitch didn’t even have enough courage to look you in the eye when she spoke to you.

 

“I want you to know that you and the girls were never our intended target.  My mission, from the moment I was born, was to take down Captain America and SHIELD.  My father and grandfather knew the best way to do that would be from the inside, and I was chosen to complete that task.  You and the girls are civilians, not military - you just had the bad luck of getting in the way.”

 

You wanted to respond with a grand statement full of hatred, sarcasm, and intellect, worthy of the most climactic part of an Oscar-winning movie.  You wanted to use words to inflict the pain that your body lacked the strength to, but you couldn’t.  Your mind could only see your daughters, your husband, your friends, your family, your unborn child - boy or girl, and feel an unfathomable sense of loss.  You didn’t care if she saw you cry, in fact you hoped the tears conveyed how deeply you felt her betrayal.  They had to, because you didn’t have any words that could do the job as adequately.  

___________________________________________________________________________

As Rogers’ blood and DNA were analyzed to identify the last piece of their serum, the only man that Elsbeth and William Strucker reported to finally arrived.  He was flanked by two humongous guards, carrying titanium briefcases locked to their wrists.  Without saying a word, they made their way through the warehouse towards the team of scientists, who parted as if they were the Red Sea at Moses’s command.  Only the twins were fully aware of who and what they represented.  The younger scientists that had earned the Struckers’ trust and were now granted access to both sides of the business had only begun to learn about the long history of HYDRA and its descendants, but those felt like fairy tales compared to the rumors they heard about The Hive.  

 

“Dr. Weber, or can I finally say Strucker? How goes it?” The man turned to William and waited patiently for an answer.  

 

William Weber was not easily intimidated.  He had negotiated a legitimate and successful career all while working to advance the objectives of HYDRA and The Hand, and was well known in both worlds.  The subversion and ruin of  both of those entities had allowed for The Hive’s rise to the top and for this man to be in a position of power over him.  Though William was not scared, he was fully aware that new power was potent - and that this man represented the best interest of no one but his Hive superiors.  William knew today was a test, and that for him and his sister to pass, they needed to give them what no one else had been able to, a viable serum.  They could not fail - a misstep would be their last step.

 

“Mr. West, we have completed the initial mapping sequence on Rogers.  We have several more hours to wait before the software identifies the missing element and provides the information we need to replicate it.”

 

“What about the woman and her child? You convinced us to give you extra time and resources to include them in this project.” He didn’t need to threaten, just remind the good doctor of what was at stake.

 

“As I said, this is an experimental procedure that  _ should _ bring positive results.  This is the first time that fetal stem cells that share genetic material with an enhanced individual will be available for analysis.  We expect great things.”  He spoke with confidence.  It did not impress.

 

“Should? Our approval was not based on ‘should,’ Doctor, it was based on the promise of results.  Are you now saying you cannot deliver on that promise?”

 

Weber knew he never made such a promise, but that to disagree would be the last stupid thing he ever did.  “I can say with 100% certainty that we will get information that will propel the Serum project ahead, sir.”  The slight nod he received in return signaled he could return to his work.  He did not bother to respond with anything but action, but he followed the three men with his eyes as they walked towards the other end of the warehouse.

__________________________________________________________________________________

“Get those cases open.  Find me a signal.”  As they reached the end of the warehouse, The Hive agent, West, calmly set up a mobile data hub and began to transmit, while he ordered his men to open the latches on their suitcases.  One filled his case with specimen tubes and slides, test equipment, and data storage devices.  The other took out explosive compound and blasting caps and began his task of  connecting them together with a length of field wire.  When West finished, he needed to make sure they were still on schedule.  

 

“I’m ready to transmit, are we ready?”

 

“Yes sir, the charges are laid, detonator in place, and rear door proximity sensor set where Weber and the woman were brought in.  It will force them to come in at the other end of the building, where we have more control of how fast they advance and it will give Strucker more time to complete the procedure.”  West looked to the other man.

 

“As Strucker said, they are currently analyzing part of Rogers’ sample.  That would be ideal for us, but if we have his blood, we can do our own analysis.  We have all of Strucker’s data up to this point, so with this test tube in our possession, it eliminates our dependence on him.  Our team is just as qualified to do this work as he is.”

 

“Good.  Transmitting tracker signal now.  If the Avengers are only half as dumb as we know they are, they’ll walk right into our little welcoming gift - but we can’t blow the charges until Strucker finishes the procedure and we have the woman’s samples.  Let whoever arrives after that kill them all or take them prisoner - they will have served their purpose.”  

_____________________________________________________________________________

When the jet landed, each Avenger knew their role and their objective - find and infiltrate the location, rescue, and arrest the bad guys.  Natasha and Tony had prepped data collection droids to scan, store, and later analyze, every piece of scientific evidence, as well as cameras that would stream their findings in real time to the quinjet, allowing Bruce and Dr. Cho to begin their work immediately.  Their prep on the brief flight had identified several possible locations, and as soon as they landed they began the process of figuring out which held their leader.  This was relatively slow work, and Bucky quickly lost patience.

 

“Nat, why don’t we split up into 2-man teams, each group recons one of the three sites, and radio in when we find what we want?

 

“Barnes, you said yourself that splitting us up is just what they want - ‘Get us fighting on more than one front’ - that was you, right?”   Bucky nodded, and continued his sweep of the bowels of another warehouse, empty on a Sunday except for completely freaked out janitorial and security staff.  

 

As they made their way to the last site, FRIDAY informed them she had picked up a tracking signal on Stephanie.  They quickly converged on the nondescript warehouse, but as they prepared to rush the source of the signal, the team was caught off guard by an explosion from within that destroyed a large chunk of the of the building’s rear entrance.  

 

“So much for a sneak attack,” Bucky said as he and the others started to run towards the flames.  

______________________________________________________________________________

“Will someone please tell me what you’re going to do to me!  Please!  Ellie!  Please, after all we’ve been through, just tell me what’s going to happen!”

 

William and his team approached the operating table on which you were laid, anesthesia at the ready, sterile drape in place to block your view of your stomach, and monitors beeping to alert everyone of just how fucking nervous you were.  

 

“Mrs. Rogers, we are going to harvest somatic stem cells from your fetus.  You’ve heard of amniocentesis?  Well, this is a very similar procedure.  We will give you an anesthetic, insert the needle into your abdomen, and withdraw cell samples.  It’s that simple.”

 

“Wait, stop!  Won’t that induce a miscarriage?  I’m not even in my second trimester yet!”

 

“Sadly, yes, but we will make sure we have enough material to run all the tests we need, and still have some to keep for later experimental use.  I hope it is some small comfort that the information we collect will be invaluable when used in concert with what we collected from your husband.” If you could have spit in his face, you would have.

 

As the needle was prepped, all the people present screamed and ducked as an explosion blew out the windows.  William looked at Ellie, who immediately sprang into action, grabbing a tech and moving you and your gurney into the panic room off the main lab.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Once Ellie heard the explosion her first instinct was to make sure her brother was safe,  _ then _ secure Stephanie.  After wheeling her anesthetized captive into the panic room, she turned to see her brother and his team follow with the medical equipment and supplies needed to perform the procedure. Ellie grabbed her brother’s arm with a force he rarely felt and pushed him and the remaining scientists into the same room as their patient.  “Go!  Get this done now, we have no time to waste.”  He nodded in agreement while his sister locked him in. 

___________________________________________________________________________

Forced to enter the building from the front, the drones were deployed and FRIDAY made sure their uplink with Bruce and Helen was secure before beginning recon.  The team split up, each with their own objective.  

 

As they cleared the front half of the building, Bucky kept his eyes glued to the tracker signal, which led him, along with Nat and Tony, to a secure airlock.  FRIDAY’s scan identified a large cavernous area behind it, with multiple life signs.  “C’mon Tony let’s go.  It has to be them.”  

 

“Barnes, haven’t you ever seen a movie?  This is a gateway to the bad guys - both literally  _ and _ figuratively - so no, it does not  _ have _ to be them.” He smirked behind his mask as Bucky glared. “...but it most likely is.”

 

The security system, the airlock, the codes - they were all designed for someone who wasn’t an Avenger.  As they walked through its ruins into the back half of the warehouse, Steph’s tracker started beeping with greater urgency. “Geez, Stark, really? A louder and faster beep as we get closer? Haven’t YOU ever seen a movie?” Romanoff smirked.

 

“Don’t look at me, I had nothing to do with this. I never programmed a tracker for Stephanie. I figured it was done by the medical team, at Steve’s request.” 

 

Bucky whipped his head around. “What are you talking about? Steph was never implanted with a tracker by the medical team.  I would’ve known about it.”  The question remained unanswered as they split up - Tony after data and Nat after Steve. 

 

Bucky’s only objective was to find Steph, but he was starting to get a weird feeling.  It was validated when Weber showed her face and launched a projectile directly at him.  He deflected it with his metal arm, running towards her with nothing but hate in his eyes. As that arm swung, the woman ducked and swept her leg under one of Bucky’s, setting him off balance for just a second.  It was all the time she needed to remove another hypodermic from her belt pack and move it towards his thigh. Bucky pivoted on his planted foot and kicked her directly in the forearm, making her yowl in pain while sending the needle flying. Weber jumped up from off her back and planted a kick to Bucky’s abdomen. He reached out and grabbed her throat with his left hand, the metal soon causing a flush to rise up her face as she lost the ability to breathe.

 

“Where is she?  Tell me now. You will not get another chance.” Weber’s hands, which were clawing at Bucky’s around her throat, gasped and attempted to speak.  Bucky loosened his grip just enough, and she croaked, “Fuck you, Barnes.  I’d rather die than forsake HYDRA, you worthless traitor.”  He had no idea what she was talking about, and didn’t care.  He lifted Weber off the ground and threw her, making sure she was knocked out after her head hit the concrete floor.  He used whatever he could find to immobilize her, and updated Tony and Nat, who had her own news.  

 

“I’ve got Rogers, guys.  I need some help, he’s pretty out of it.”  When Bucky and Tony met them, Steve was already yelling that they needed to find Steph, he didn’t know where she was, and to let him go with them.  Bucky looked straight at him.  “Stevie, listen to me.  You need to let the medic get you right, first.  You can’t help Steph when you can barely walk.”  Steve hung his head at his friend and begged him to find his girl.

 

Bucky stalked through the rest of the warehouse with Tony and FRIDAY guiding him.  “Boss, there’s a room on the other side of this wall, heavily fortified.  I’m reading oxygen and life signs, no tracking signal.”  Carefully, Tony started cutting through the fortified entrance while Bucky covered him.  When the entrance fell away, Bucky stepped through, gun sighted, and saw a room full of scientists hovering around a hospital gurney, in the middle of a medical procedure.

 

“Sergeant Barnes.  If I were you and cared even a little bit about Mrs. Rogers, I wouldn’t move.  This is the most delicate part of the process and the smallest slip of my hand could cause irreversible damage.”  The two Avengers stopped and actually backed against the wall in the panic room, with a sentry drone standing guard outside the door. All that was heard was the beeping of monitors and the low rumble of Strucker directing his medical team.  Bucky couldn’t watch as the doctor extracted a very long needle out of Stephanie’s stomach and handed it to a technician.  He took a loud step forward, “Nuh uh uh, Sargeant.  Show some of that famous Winter Soldier patience.  I’ve still got to bring her out of anesthesia, and you want it done safely, I assume.”  

 

“Um, doctor, you’re not the only one here who can do that.”  Bruce and Helen walked in, escorted by Clint and Sam.  Bucky sidled up to the doctor, “We got the better guys for the job, Doc.  Why don’t we go join your sister?”  As he walked the doctor out of the room with his arm twisted behind his back, he and the rest of the Avengers were met with a volley of gunfire from West and his two men.  Wil screamed, “No!!!  There’s pressurized canisters everywhere!!!,” but it was too late.  As a bullet ricocheted off of the drone’s armor, it hit a nearby tank just outside the now-fallen door, creating a fireball.  Bucky threw the doctor down while Bruce and Helen covered an unconscious Stephanie, with Clint and Sam scrambling for cover.  Bucky had the shooters in his sights, but couldn’t risk everyone else’s safety in order to make the attempt.

 

“Tony, we’re bottlenecked.  Can you get him?”  

 

“No, but I have an idea.”  The team was still for no more than a minute, waiting to hear the plan while being showered with bullets.  Tony crept far enough to the side to let Clint try to get a shot off, but before he could, the gunfire suddenly stopped.  As the team cautiously stood, they saw three unconscious bodies on the floor, Steve and Nat standing over them.  

 

They all heard Bruce’s voice coming from inside the room.  “Guys, is it clear?  We need to move, Helen suspects internal bleeding.  She’s waking up, but we need to get her to an infirmary immediately.”  Steve ran to your side, holding your hand and pulling the gurney so fast Bruce had to remind him to slow down to prevent tipping you.  

 

Tony and Nat stayed behind to wait for the authorities, and the billionaire philanthropist squatted in front of the Strucker twins as they regained consciousness.  “Must be kind of horrifying that your little scheme didn’t end exactly as you planned.  You should be glad you’re here with us, kids.  I don’t know what I’d do if I were in your place, with the world’s most famous Super Soldiers not needing even a little bit of provocation to snap my neck.  Might want to think about getting some kind of deal that protects you from them - or them.”  Tony pointed to West and his guys, unconscious on the ground next to them.

 

Ellie and Wil didn’t have to look at each other or him, because Stark’s words didn’t scare them - they knew what awaited them as a result of their failure, it was just a matter of when.  Though West was still knocked out cold, Wil subtly kicked his sister and nodded at the mobile data hub he had set up.  It was still transmitting and held the slide with Rogers’ sample.  Something is better than nothing, Ellie thought.  “Something” can be a bargaining chip.

 

As the rest of the team boarded the quinjet and Clint took his place in the pilot’s seat, Helen and Bruce went immediately to work on their patient. They urged Clint to fly as fast as the aircraft allowed.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“Why does this keep happening, Buck?  Why her, not me? How is she ever going to forgive me for this?”  Steve sat beside you, watching Bruce and Helen’s every movement, listening to every word, understanding few.  Bucky squatted in front of his best friend, putting his hand on his shoulders.  He knew he didn’t have the answer Steve wanted to hear.  “I don’t know how she’s going to feel, Steve.  What I do know is that we got her, we got both of you, and you’re both alive.  Nothing else matters at this moment.” 

 

Steve ran his hands through his hair, anger and frustration evident in every word. “Maybe Maria was right, maybe I should’ve listened to my instinct after the kidnapping and gotten out of her life, out of their lives.”

 

“Look Steve, if I remember correctly, Steph made the decision to stay with you, and told Maria that.  She knew the risks, hell, she lived through that experience and faced the shit that came after, better than most of the soldiers I’ve known.”  Steve’s head hung down, but Bucky kept talking. “Look punk, she chose you.  I don’t think you had much say in the matter.  She’s a strong, smart, woman and, for some strange reason, is completely and totally in love with you.  Give her some damn credit for knowing what’s best for her and the girls …..” Bucky started to laugh, which made everyone in the vicinity turn their head awkwardly. “As the girls have told me many times, ‘you need to get over yourself.’  When their Mom makes up their mind on something like this, there’s no changing it.”  

 

“Listen to the man, Captain.  He’s right.”  Your voice was weak, but there was no mistaking your intent.  Steve and Bucky cautiously looked to Bruce, who nodded his approval for them to approach you.  The two men flanked you, and you reached for both their hands while looking at your husband.

  
“Look at me, love. I signed up for the whole Captain America roller coaster ride when I married Steve Rogers.  Trust that I know my own mind.”  You closed your eyes as Steve gently laid his forehead against yours.  You felt Bucky trying to loosen his grasp, but you held on and turned your head.  “Thank you again, Bucky.  Thank you for finding us.  Did you find Weber? Oh my God, she...” You tried getting up, but Bucky shushed you.  “Yup, we got her doll.  We got everyone.  I know it’s hard, but stop talking now.”  He chuckled at you while you gave him a completely loving glare, but didn’t have the energy to fight him, so you closed your eyes and felt safe again.  Your hand slipped hopefully to your tummy, but you couldn’t help the sinking feeling in your chest.

 

You were wheeled directly to the medical wing of the Compound as soon as the jet landed.  Helen had called ahead and everything she needed was ready, including a fetal surgeon Fury had flown in, in anticipation of your arrival.  Steve and Bucky paced liked worried expectant Dads of old while the team worked on you.  They both hurried to Bruce as he walked out of the operating room.

 

“We found some minor internal bleeding secondary to their procedure.  Dr. Tobin wants to try a minimally invasive laparotomy.  He’ll use ultrasound as a guide, make a small incision, check for any other issues, and use a heat probe to seal any damaged tissue.”  

 

“Whatever you need to do, Bruce, just please help her.”

 

“Of course, Steve.  I’ll be back when I know anything.  It shouldn’t take too long.”

 

When Dr. Tobin walked out with Bruce after a relatively short time, they were both smiling. “Captain, your wife is fine.  The procedure went beautifully and she should recover completely and without incident.”

 

Steve’s eyes filled with tears as he shook the doctor’s hand and thanked him profusely.  “Can I see her?”

 

“Not quite yet - after she wakes up.”  Bruce’s voice was surprised when he asked, “Don’t you want to know about the baby?”

 

Steve looked up.  “What do you mean?  I thought the bleeding was caused by the procedure, and that procedure caused miscarriage.  You mean the baby is still alive?”

 

Dr. Tobin answered, “Yes, remarkably so.  I suggested this procedure because of its minimal impact, but knowing full well it would allow me to quickly perform a D&C if needed. I was well and truly shocked when we heard a strong heartbeat and saw movement, even with the general anesthesia.  Dr. Banner and Dr. Cho helped me understand the possible reasons why.”  

 

Bruce took over, “Steve, given Stephanie’s history, the early stage of pregnancy, and the traumatic circumstances of the procedure, we hypothesize that the baby survived because of your enhanced genetics - that they increased its viability in some way, which was our theory of how you conceived in the first place.  Of course, we have no way of knowing until it’s born, but it’s the assumption we’re working under.”

 

Steve breathed deeply as Bucky clapped his hand on his friend’s shoulder and beamed. “Thanks Doc. I only care that Steph is safe and that the baby isn’t causing her harm.”  He shook each man’s hand one more time and looked up as Helen Cho stepped beside them.  “She wants to speak with you, Captain.”  Bucky turned to him.  “Give her a kiss for me, punk, and tell her I’ll visit later.”

 

“Hey, beautiful.  How’s my best girl?”  As he gently rubbed his thumb across your forehead, you turned your head towards him - hair still pulled under a cap, tubes and wires everywhere, but with the same smile - albeit a bit softer.  “I’ve been better, but also been worse, so that’s good.”  You take a deep breath, “How are you?  Right before the explosion, Weber told me…Steve, do you know Weber is…?”  It was  _ his _ turn to shush you, kissing your forehead where his thumb was, “Yes, we know.  Buck got her and her brother, and Tony and Nat are doing the legal stuff now.  As for me, I’m fine.  Apparently, being a Super Soldier has its perks.”

 

You smiled again, breathing as deeply as you could before wincing. “From what Helen tells me, being the child of a Super Soldier has its perks, too.  The baby is ok?”

 

“That’s what Bruce and Dr. Tobin just told me.  They’re not exactly sure why, it should not have turned out that way, but they’re betting it’s because of the genetic material we share.  Looks like we did good, babe. ”  Your eyes were starting to close, despite your best attempts to keep looking at him.  Steve leaned down to kiss you. “Steph, go to sleep.  I’ll be here in the morning when you wake up.  I promise.”


	25. Let the Good Times Roll….for once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The worst was over - hopefully forever. The Weber, no, Strucker siblings were in federal custody but they knew their biggest threat came from the shadows. Steve and Steph finally get to enjoy a bit of married life, with a little help from their friends and they plan how to share their wonderful (and not-so-wonderful) life updates with the ones they love most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa - talk about writer’s block! Sorry for the long time between updates, but I was a dry well (which happens when you have to write non-stop for work purposes - I had nothing creative left over! To quote the wise advice of my good friend @MsEnglish101, I don’t want this series to become one life-threatening peril after another. So now - fluff and happiness! (for the most part). Big thanks to @HMarvels31 who lent me her time, ideas, and wonderful support to help craft this chapter - IF YOU ARE A BUCKY fan, or just a fan of amazing writing - go check her out!!! Also continued thanks for all the support I get from @MsEnglish101. It’s a bit overwhelming how generous she is with her time and energy and thoughtful feedback. I am a lucky woman.

 

Ellie and Wil knew their days were numbered.  The brother and sister were denied bail after their arraignment, thanks to the influence of Captain America and The Avengers. Though they didn’t care about the government penitentiaries in which they currently resided, they knew there was a network of inmates, guards, and prison administrators connected to The Hive who would, before long, have orders to eliminate them,  with the highest bounty given to whomever got the job done first, or could promise the most painful demise.  They were raised HYDRA, where loyalty was rewarded as long as you were needed, and Ellie knew the best odds for survival lay with her brother.  There was no one within The Hive who knew as much about the Serum project as him, and the last she knew, a successful Serum was the organization’s number one priority.  She hoped it still was, at least for Wil’s sake.  She didn’t hold out as much hope for herself.

___________________________________________________________________________

You stretched, laughing as your toes peeked out of the blanket and your hands reached above your head.  You closed your eyes as you turned over, but couldn’t resist peeking at Steve lying next to you.  It was still early in the morning, and he slept soundly.  He told you he wanted to fully recuperate before running again, but you knew he didn’t want to leave you alone.

It had been several days since you were both given a clean bill of health from multiple doctors.  Yours came from the fetal surgeon whom Steve had personally escorted to and from Manhattan to check you out.  Dr. Tobin confirmed that you were completely recovered from Strucker’s procedure, as well as the surgery you needed to repair its after-effects.  Every single test performed on your growing baby came back positive.  The kid was growing like a champ - not too much faster than normal fetuses - but definitely with more enthusiasm.  You could already feel tiny kicks and moving.  You wanted to focus on this miracle, but knew Steve was worried.  You couldn’t fault him for that.

You must have fallen back asleep, because your eyes opened as Steve’s hand ran gently up and down your face and arm.  He leaned in and kissed you.  “Morning beautiful. How’d ya sleep?” You stretched again, yawned, and yelped in response as he tickled you.  

“Good.  This little one is still small enough that I can sleep comfortably.  Won’t be that way forever though, so I’m going to take advantage while I can.”  Steve put his hand over your stomach, willing his child to move, and was eventually rewarded for his patience with a barely-perceptible kick.  You both smiled and then directed your attention towards each other.  As you wrapped your hand around the back of your husband’s neck, drawing him in to give him a longer kiss, your enthusiastic tenant made it known you needed to pee.  

“Be right back,” as you hopped up for a moment, “Don’t move.” When you returned from your very quick trip, your beautiful husband was in the exact same spot, with an intense look on his face.  You slid back under the covers and even the unbelievable amount of heat he put out couldn’t prevent him from yelling out when you put your cold feet on him.  

Your devilish smile made an appearance. “That’ll teach you to tickle me, Captain.” He looked not-at-all contrite when he rolled on top of you and started kissing you, while you wrapped your legs around him.  You both groaned as your phone rang and you recognized the girls’ ringtone.  As he rolled off, you turned to grab it,  and saw Lizzy’s name.

“Mom, hi!”  It had only been 2 weeks since you’d seen  them, but so much had happened.  They didn’t even know about the baby, let alone about Weber.  You suddenly missed them very very much.

“Hi sweetie, how are you? How’s everyone at home?”  She told you what a great time everyone was having, and how much they were looking forward to their annual California vacation to see their family on their Dad’s side.  You made small talk for awhile, waiting until she was ready to say what she needed to - your older (soon to be oldest) child wasn’t one for trivial phone calls.

“Mom, can I ask you something?”  She took a pause after that rhetorical question and went ahead after you asked her if you could put her on speaker phone so Steve could hear.  “Are you guys ok? Bucky came to Dad’s and he said it was just to say hi, but he knew we had our usual agents with us and that’s a really long drive just to check on us when he could have texted.  I asked him if anything had happened on your honeymoon and if you were alright, and all he told me was that you two were fine and at the Compound.  He didn’t answer when I asked him  why you weren’t on your honeymoon.”  You looked at Steve and shook your head while mouthing, “NOT NOW.”

“Hey kiddo, it’s Steve.  There were some problems getting to our destination, but we are going to be home tomorrow to fill you guys in.”

“Steve’s right, love.  We are both 100% totally safe, happy, and healthy.  Just had a detour.  I was going to call you today and let you know we were coming home tomorrow, and ask if you could keep an open spot in your busy schedule for us.”  As she laughed, her voice become more relaxed.  “I love you’s” were exchanged along with your promise she’d hear the completely boring details the next day before disconnecting.

 

You reached for your discarded nightshirt and pulled your legs as close to your chest as you could.  “We can’t tell them everything, Steve.  They would never sleep again, let alone ever leave my side.”  

He nodded.  “Agreed.  I also don’t want them second-guessing every person we’ve entrusted to care for them.  Weber was a complete aberration, a singularity.”

“Why don’t we lead with the baby?  That sets the stage, and then we downplay the really bad stuff, focusing instead on how we weren’t separated for very long and that Bucky and Tony and everyone made sure we were safe and we now have nothing to worry about.  We remind them that there will be court cases that we will be involved in, but between the security detail, the lawyers, and the Avengers, we’re safe.”

Steve was walking around the room, raking his hand through his hair.  “What do you want to say about Weber?”  That’s something you’d been wrestling with yourself.  Her betrayal and complete subversion of the truth had hurt you more than almost anything.  You didn’t want your girls to go through that, unnecessarily.  

You laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling while he paced.  “If the girls don’t bring it up, nothing.  Weber was on me most of the time, I don’t think she was ever with them - but if they do ask, I’d like to tell them that she is no longer working with us.  Hopefully that’ll settle it.  If it doesn’t, we’ll improvise.”

“Sounds good to me, so that’s settled.  You know what else sounds good to me?” You lifted yourself up off your elbows, turned to the sound of his voice, and saw him smiling and climbing on the bed towards you.  You laughed as he pulled your legs down to the end of the bed, taking his time kissing up your body.  You were surprised when he asked you to turn on your stomach, but delighted when he began to massage your tense shoulder and back muscles.  It always amazed you how gentle he could be, in spite of his super-human strength.   The last thing you remember before falling asleep, again, was him kissing the back of your neck and massaging your scalp.  

 

When you woke up for the third time that morning, it was no longer morning and your husband was no longer in bed with you.  He had covered you with blankets, made the room dark, and put on your nature sound noise maker.  God, you loved this man.  You went to find him so you could properly thank him.

“Hey sleepyhead, nice of you to join us.” As you walked into the room wearing pajamas with a pretty deadly case of bed head, you startled when you realized Bucky and Tony were waiting with Steve in the living room.  You had to laugh.  

“Really, you couldn’t let me know we had guests?  Thank goodness both of them have seen me look much worse.”

Bucky walked toward you, “Good thing we’re family, not guests.  How ya feeling, doll?” You hugged him, then Tony, in turn.  

“To what do we owe this honor? I sincerely hope it’s not bad news.  Or any news, to be honest.”  Steve smiled at you and pulled you towards him to sit down.

Tony swiveled on his back leg to look at both of  you.  “Just good news, we hope.  As Steve’s groomsmen,”

“...and BEST man,” Bucky added, and you all smiled as Tony barely paused,

“We felt it was our responsibility to help you have the wedding night and honeymoon you didn’t have.”

You looked at Steve, then the two men, and smiled tentatively.  “Thank you, though I am hesitant to get too excited in case you want me to jump out of an airplane or something.  I’m in the family way, gentlemen.”  You laughed when Bucky and Steve blushed but Tony didn’t even blink.

“Family way? When did you start talking like these fossils? I would have hoped for a much more lecherous description.”  You couldn’t help but giggle.  “It was said  _ in deference to _ the fossils, they don’t like hearing women speak in such a rough manner.”

Steve and Bucky glared at you and Bucky snarkily responded, “Wow, how original, an age joke.”  It was hard for you to control your glee.

You sat together in silence as Tony explained the plans, and then Bucky batted cleanup to ask what you thought about him accompanying the girls out to finish the trip together.  It was perfect - time alone to be a newlywed, and then time to see the girls and help all of you become used to being a blended family.

__________________________________________________________________________________

You were a bit nervous when you texted Maria, Jen, and Ally and gave them the abbreviated version, aka lie, about why you weren’t on your honeymoon and were coming home the next day.  

**Maria:** What do you mean, you’re coming home?  You guys aren’t supposed to be back for over a week!

**Steph:**  I know, but there was a detour on the way to the honeymoon and we had to postpone it.

**Jen:**  Is that codeword for something bad happened?

**Maria:**  It better fucking not be!  You’ve had more than enough dramatic shit happen to you.  That’s not it, is it?

**Ally:** Are you ok?

**Steph:** Yes guys, I am fine.  Honestly, truly, absolutely 100% fine.  (Steve is too, by the way, thanks for asking).

**Ally and Jen:** Sorry 

**Maria:** He’s freaking Captain America, he’s not at the top of my watch list, though I am glad he’s ok.  What you need right now is a completely dedicated fuckboy, without distraction or interruption.

**Steph:**  ROTFL - yes, and that’s what I have, just needed to postpone a bit to clear up the “distractions” as you put it.  Don’t worry, he’s been fulfilling that role exquisitely.

**Ally, Jen, Maria:** WOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO!  Go Steph, Go Steph, Go Steph!

**Steph:** LOL.  Sigh, I miss you guys a lot.  Any chance you can come to our place tomorrow night?  Pizza - I am totally jonesing for Tony’s.  The girls miss you and the guys miss your guys.  I know it’s last minute, and I’m sorry.

**Maria:**  That makes it sound like we have lives.  I know I don’t, and any excuse I have for communal child care in a judgment-free zone, I’m in.  iPads for everyone!!!

**Jen:**  We’re in.  I guess we’ll have to skip our annoying AF kids show marathon followed by laundry and cooking.  Ummmmm….yes please?  And is it possible for me to sleep over?

**Ally:**  I’ll be there.  Wine, anyone?

**Maria:**  FUCK YES

**Jen:** YES YES YES

**Steph:** Who is going to say no to that?  Thank you :)  Alright guys, my fuckboy wants to go to dinner, so I’m out.  See you tomorrow night, 6?  Love you guys.

**Ally:** Bye, love you guys - night

**Jen:** Night loves

**Maria:** Night ladies

 

**Steph:** Hey sweetie

**Ally:** Hey

**Steph:** Bucky’s coming, too, and there’s a little ol’ empty apartment next door to ours….it’s all his now.

**Ally:**  Transparent much? (but good to know he he he)

**Steph:** Does anyone else know yet?

**Ally:**  I think Maria and Jen are finally starting to get suspicious.  Are you ok?  Really ok?

**Steph:**  Yes, we’re really ok.  Can’t you guys finally tell everyone so I can stop kicking myself for almost telling them every time we talk?  I want to see lovey cuddly Ally and Bucky -BUCKLY!!!!!  

**Ally:**  No.  That’s not going to be a thing.  If you insist, I’ll break up with him just to avoid that travesty.

**Steph:** LOL - ok. Talk to him - think about it! (and you wouldn’t break up with him - if he’s even half as good in bed as Steve, there’s no going back from that. Ever.)

**Ally:** Goodnight nosey.  I’ll see you tomorrow night.

**Steph** : ;) 

**Ally:** (and we haven’t slept together, but let’s say I’ve been privy to a preview).

**Steph:** Woo woo!!!!  Love it!  Ok, see you tomorrow, lovey. :)

 

You chuckled as you typed, which turned to laughter when you realized Steve was staring at you with a truly incredulous expression.  “What?” as you turned to him and smiled.  

“I don’t know how you type so fast that way.  My fingers don’t even fit on the keys.”

You looked to your phone one more time and turned it off.  “I guess it’s just practice.  You know, you may be an old dog, but I can definitely teach you some new tricks.” When you looked up, he was faux-glaring again.  

“That’s the second time today you’ve reminded me how old I am.  Are you trying to tell me something?”

“Yes, absolutely.  That I love my older man with all my heart and soul, and that you’ve aged very well.”  You leaned over and kissed him.  

He pulled you up from the couch.  “Come on, I want to show you what’s going on at the cabin property - walk or drive?”  After you reluctantly decided to walk over, you put on your snuggliest sweatshirt and held hands as you found your way to the site of your former home-away-from-home.  

You gasped as you arrived and there was no trace of the cabin.  “Since there was nothing salvageable, I had the remains bulldozed and the ground leveled.  I also found a local company that employs veterans to design and build homes, and found out the insurance from the fire will cover most of the rebuild.  They’re going to meet with us the next time we’re here, but for now, wanna sit with me?”  He turned you around and your eyes filled, as he showed you the red Ebbets Field chairs you got him as a wedding gift.  You sat side-by-side, holding hands, your legs crossing over to rest on his.

“How did they survive the fire?  I mean, they’re so old, covered in layers of paint and new varnish, the definition of flammable…..”

“Right before the wedding, the event planners moved them into this grove of trees back here.  They knew how much they meant to us, and didn’t want to risk something happening with all the guests, so in essence, they hid them.  They were far enough away - not even singed.” He beamed, “Even though that night was terrible and the only thing that mattered to me was your safety, I  _ was _ pretty happy to see these.”  You both quietly laughed, the seats a happy reminder that you were both here to enjoy this small gift.

 

When you returned to the compound, Steve had arranged for a beautiful dinner in full view of the mountains and scenery.  As Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack played softly in the background, you marveled at your luck, at your love, at your life.  With dinner finished, Steve slowly and sweetly pulled you to him to dance, which was quickly becoming your second-favorite physical activity to do with him.  You laid your cheek against his shoulder and stroked the back of his hair.  You must have sighed, because he leaned backwards a bit to look at you with raised eyebrows.

“I’m fine.  Completely content.”  Right on cue, Baby Rogers moved a bit, which made you smile, and start to remember.  

“Steve, love?”

“Yes?”

“We’ve both gotten complete medical clearance, right?”  He nodded.  “No restrictions, back to full active duty?” Another nod.  “Do you think you’re ready?”  He looked at you with a worried expression.  “Ready?”

“Yes, ready.  Technically, we’re still on our honeymoon.”

“Oh, thank God.”  He pulled you tightly to him, kissing you the hardest he had since your wedding night after you found out about the baby.  

You were so proud of yourself.  “I have a gift for you.”  He looked at you quizzically.  

“Carry me to bed, Captain.”  His smile could not have been wider, as he lifted you into the air and you didn’t try to get down or flail foolishly.  You wrapped your hands around his neck and kissed him before he started the short walk to the bed.  

“Steph, I love you so much.”  As you laid side-by-side he kissed you and moved his hands through your hair.  

You asked, “Is this ok?”  as you kneeled and then straddled his hips, leaning forward to kiss him and then slowly taking off your shirt.

He smiled as he saw you had the purple bra on that you wore the night you kissed for the first time.  “More than ok.  Light years beyond ok.”

“I have very good memories of this,” he sat up and reached around you easily and unhooked it, “mostly that it gave me very vivid dreams that night, thinking of all the possibilities for us.”  

“You were quite the gentleman, that’s for sure.  I was a bit disappointed, to be honest.”  You smiled as he threw the bra somewhere and tightly wrapped his arms around you, and you leaned your head down to kiss him.

He pulled back and started planting little kisses along your neck and chest.  “True, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.  The next night made up for it, though.”  You moved your hips back and forth over his lap, loving the sounds it elicited from him.  You reached down and grabbed the hem of his t-shirt, and pulled it up, letting him finish and throw it.

He laughed as you closed your eyes and leaned into him, maximizing how much of your skin was touching his. “Did you just purr?”   You giggled as you reluctantly admitted it.

You both laughed as your movement pushed him back towards the mattress.  You rolled off of him, walked to the end of the bed, and turned so you faced the other direction. You turned your head back over your shoulder to see him laid out, completely naked, god-like, watching you with hungry intensity.  

You shimmied your skirt down, then your tights, and as you stepped out of them, with only your undies left, he was behind you, pulling your back to his chest, kissing your neck and shoulders, helping you get naked.  “I loved the show, but couldn’t wait anymore.”  You turned into him and turned your bum towards the bed, so you could lay down and pull him on top of you.  

“I love you too, Steve.  More than I can say.”  You kissed him deeply and he started moving down your body, but you propped yourself up on your elbows to stop him.  “Any chance we could save that for later? There’s really only one thing I need right now.”  You smiled to yourself, as you struggled not to add, “fuckboy” to the end of the sentence.  

“Really?”  He was definitely surprised.

Even though you would lose your membership to the “luckiest women alive because their partners truly love oral” club -“Yes, really.  You can thank the hormones racing towards that part of my body.”  

He changed direction and as he kissed your belly, whispered, “Thank you SO much little one.  I owe you.”  You smiled, but you weren’t kidding.  You were as close as you could remember without direct stimulation.  

He put his knees between your legs to push them apart, which was not difficult, and surprised you.

“Close your eyes.  I want you to feel and enjoy, instead of trying to anticipate and rush.”  When you looked at him with surprise on your face, he continued, “Remember, trust me.”  

You did as he asked, which felt stranger than you’d imagined, but he made it easy.  You closed your eyes, laying your head back on the pillow and holding your breath in anticipation.  You felt his hands stroking the inside of your thighs, getting closer to your center.  You tensed as the sensations threatened to overtake you.

“Shhhhhhhh…...easy baby.  I’ve got you.  Relax, I promise you’ll get there soon.”  His tenderness, coupled with your heightened emotions and arousal, caused a few tears to well up.  He gently kissed them away while entering you.  Sex with Steve was never bland, was always wonderful, but this was unbelievable.  For whatever reason, you felt each ridge, each contour of your anatomy accommodating to his size, every thrust as if it was eternal.  You put your hands everywhere you could reach on his body, pulling his shoulders down while you wrapped your legs around his waist.  You moaned - no, it was more than moaning - it was a sound that seemed to come from the deepest parts of you.  You had never experienced a feeling as intense as this, and you wished you could see his face, but you settled for kissing him as deeply as you could.  

“I can feel you squeezing me baby, I love it.  Keep going sweetie, cum for me, feel everything I’m doing to you, cum for me Steph, I love you so much.”  Your body responded and you yelled louder than you thought possible, as he continued to ride you into his own release.  As he kissed you with your eyes now screwed shut after the most intense orgasm you’d ever had, he chuckled.  “You can open your eyes now.”

You laughed as you opened one eye to see him staring at you and smiling.  “Holy moly, Captain.  How did you ever stumble upon that idea?”  

“I don’t know, honestly, it just came to me.”  

You snorted and put your hand over your mouth, “That’s what she said.”  He never got that joke, which made it even funnier in your mind.  As he rolled his eyes, you giggled and snuggled into his chest, pulling his arm around you.  It was one of your favorite feelings, so safe, so whole.  You snaked your arm around him as he kissed the top of your head.  You were moved to silence as both your hands made their way to your tummy.

________________________________________________________________________________

After leaving your suite, Bucky and Tony made their way to the conference room to meet Nat and the team of lawyers representing you, Steve, and the Avengers.  The table was surrounded by unfamiliar people, and though that always made Bucky initially recoil, he pushed away his hesitancy.  He had to do this, had to be there, had to protect his family, even if it made his skin crawl.  

Not surprisingly, Tony spoke first.  “We’re here to figure out what our next steps are.  This all started with Stephanie’s abduction by CGS well over a year ago but now has morphed into a second criminal case that is much more wide-reaching.  I, for one, would like to know where we are and what we need to do to nail those son of a bitches to the wall.”  Bucky nodded in wholehearted agreement.

The team of lawyers was split into groups, each with their discussion points.  Eventually, Bucky was asked an unending number of questions about Weber and her involvement in the upper-level discussions around Stephanie’s security, her role and widespread influence on the team, and ultimately, her acts of betrayal against him, other agents, and the people she had vowed to protect.  He could feel his anger growing with each question, his rage at his own stupidity, his panic at how he could have lost the only people in the world who cared about him, no - who loved him.  He left the room more determined than ever to make sure Weber and all the people involved paid for what they did.

______________________________________________________________________________________

West sat contemplating the packet on the desk in front of him.  The printout contained row after row and column after column of numbers and letters.  He knew enough to know that these were the nucleotides and base pairs of Captain America’s DNA, sequenced and mapped like ingredients for making a particularly exquisite cake.  As he looked quickly at each page, he understood just enough to see The Hive had what they needed.  The missing element from Wilhelm Strucker’s days of old was there.  Identified. Ready.  He picked up the phone and dialed.

“We have it.  Time for the next phase.  Get Weber.  He is the only one who knows enough to make it happen.”  The voice on the other end of the line finished their reply.  

“I wouldn’t worry about that.  If he wants his sister to live, he’ll cooperate.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you’re smiling as you finish the chapter!!! I’d love to hear your feedback - am I drifiting? How are you feeling about the unfolding events? Suggestions are also welcome! Thank you so much for reading.


	26. Over the Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Steph can breathe. Their baby is healthy, their family is safe, and they can finally enjoy time as a married couple. Steve’s plans for their honeymoon are breathtaking and perfect, and Steph’s plans for Bucky are, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, HI!!! It’s been like 2 months since I’ve updated this story, I’m sorry. I love it, but I needed a bit of a break, just to feel inspired again. So, here’s my inspiration, thanks to @HMarvel31, and, as always, @MsEnglish101 for being willing to read, help, and mold my story into something better. I would love to hear what you think. We’re on the home stretch with the Rogers family!

You held your open hand out as you looked up to the rising floor numbers, waiting to feel the warm strength Steve always lent you.  He slipped his hand into yours. Worked every time. 

 

He looked over at you while he raised your hand to his lips for a kiss. “Ready?”

 

“Yes.  I’m absolutely sure I’m making more of this than is necessary.”  He nodded and laughed. “I agree, but let’s just make sure we get it on the record that you said it, not me.” 

 

Your phone rang as you stepped off the elevator. “Geez you’re impatient - we’re right outside the door.”  You laughed with as much joy as nervousness as your girls threw open the door and pulled you into an exuberant hug.  You smiled as they tried to negotiate how to greet Steve now that he was stepdad, not boyfriend or fiancee. You watched as they tentatively approached him, the huge soldier letting the small girls lead.  You teared up as they wrapped their arms around his waist (as much as they could) and he kissed the tops of their heads. That simple act felt like a breakthrough, but this wasn’t the time to overanalyze.

 

“For two folks who missed their honeymoon, you guys look great.”  You gave Maria a hug, pulling in Jen and Ally for comfort that was long overdue.  Maria didn’t hesitate to whisper, “Fuckboy has clearly done a spectacular job.” 

 

“You have no idea,” slipped out before you knew it, followed by titters from you and your three soulmates.   

_____________________________________________________________________________

“Oh my goodness that was so good.  Thanks Buck, that was a very nice welcome home surprise.”

 

“Hey doll, I’m not sure it was much of a surprise, you pretty much ordered me to pick up Tony’s pizza.”  You laughed along with everyone else. You didn’t bother turning red or getting embarrassed. It was completely true.

 

Your mind was racing along with your heartbeat, knowing you had to say something soon.  You pulled yourself out of your thoughts when you heard Ally’s authoritative voice. 

 

“We’ve got an announcement to make.”  Everyone turned their heads, smiling. 

 

“Bucky and I wanted to tell you that we’re dating.”  You smiled while everyone clapped and Steve shook his best friend’s hand.  Bucky’s eyes were on no one but his girl. When he walked over and slipped his arm around her waist, your heart nearly exploded.  

 

It didn’t take more than 20 seconds for the interrogation to begin.  

 

“When did this start?”

 

“Why didn’t you tell us before?”

 

“Has he met your parents?”   
  


Both of them were starting to look panicked.  You knew all the questioning, in particular about their personal lives, was a trigger for both of them.  You knew they wanted to be public and share their happiness with everyone, but you could see they were starting to suffocate.

 

You looked at Steve with questioning eyes, glancing towards your best friends and then placing his hand on your stomach.  No more was needed, he got it.

 

“Well thanks for stealing our thunder, guys.”  It took a few seconds, but everyone turned to Steve.  Ally and Bucky’s expressions turned from terrified to relieved.

 

“We have an announcement, too.”  There were a number of different expressions on your guests’ faces, but Steve didn’t make them wait.

 

“We’re having a baby.  I’m going to be a Dad.”  

 

The room was silent, like the-priest-is-speaking or the-curtain-is-rising kind of quiet.  It was short lived.

 

Lizzy and Gabbi looked at both of you and sprang forward.  “A BABY!!!! OH MY GOD MOM, REALLY??!?! OH MY GOD!!!!” They hugged both of you.  Steve looked over their heads at you and used his fingertips to brush your cheek. Everyone laughed when Gabbi started a chorus of “I’m gonna be a big sister!  I’m gonna be a big sister!” 

 

You looked at your best friends, who were smiling but silent.  

 

“What?  If you guys aren’t talking, something’s up.”  

 

Steve had been on the receiving end of Maria’s silent treatment, and didn’t want to be in the middle of whatever the four of you needed to say to each other.  He quickly slapped Bucky’s arm and nodded his head towards the door as he stood up and got his coat on. You turned to him appreciatively when he invited the girls to go with them for ice cream.  

 

It only took a second for Bucky to catch on. “C’mon, I’ve chosen chocolate for 100 years, time for you ladies to help bring me into this century.”  Then, with a stage whisper he made everyone smile, “Plus, pregnant ladies usually love ice cream.” You smiled at the two men, mouthing “thank you,” as the girls ran out the door.  

 

The Unholy Trinity were on you less than a second after the door closed.

 

“Is this why you didn’t go on your honeymoon?”  

 

“Well, in a way….” and you told them the Walt Disney version of how you learned you were pregnant - minus the explosions and kidnapping and betrayal and terror. You decided to save that for the sequel.

 

“....so we wanted to stay put until I was into the second trimester.  Now that I am and everything looks great with me and the baby, we’re going to go and then make some of it a family trip, thanks to Bucky and Tony.”  You don’t miss Ally’s subtle facial expression at his name. SO freaking adorable.

 

The rest of the night held nonstop questioning, planning, and laughter.   You were perfectly content. Ally was laying back into Bucky’s shoulder, Steve’s arm rested on your stomach, and your girls stayed close enough to be within arm’s reach. 

 

After everyone left and the girls headed to bed, you plopped down on your bed, face-first and fully clothed.

 

Steve’s voice roused you from your almost-sleep.  “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” 

 

You rolled over and started getting undressed, nodding your head in agreement. “We’re going to have to start thinking about baby stuff, and where we’re going to live…” the words stopped by a series of lion-size yawns.  Steve laughed as he kneeled in front of you and tenderly put a finger on your lips.

 

“First, bed.  Next, honeymoon. Then, list making.” You were grateful for the simple 2-word commands, because you didn’t have an ounce of oomph left to form thoughts.  For once, sleep chased you into dreamland, where you stayed, happily wrapped in the arms of your husband.

__________________________________________________________________________________

“I don’t wanna!” You pouted as Steve poked and prodded you to get up and change for your morning walk.  It felt like it had been years since you’d exercised, and starting again was not high on your list of preferred activities.

 

“C’mon Steph, let’s go.   _ You’re _ the one who asked me to wake  _ you _ up, remember? Something about getting ready for birth and new motherhood again?”

 

“Yes.  You’re right.  I said that, but I said it at night  _ before _ I fell asleep, when my will was strong.  Now it’s the morning and I’m in bed and...no.”  

 

“Ok, then, well is it ok if I go?” He sat on the bed near you and leaned in, a beautiful smile on his face.  You closed your eyes and smiled in anticipation of a kiss, but shrieked as he dropped ice cubes down the back of your nightgown.

 

“WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK STEVE!” 

 

You shot out of bed and did the “get this out of my clothes” dance, much to his amusement. His laughter was really pissing you off, but, unfortunately for your righteous anger, once you were up, the rest was easy, which was his entire point.  The thought of a devilish plan to get revenge fueled your fastest 5K time since before the wedding.

 

You walked right past him while he waited for you at your usual meet-up spot and went straight home with the agents in tow (what, you thought they were gone because their psycho leader was in jail? The two Super Soldiers in your life vetoed that before you could even finish your sentence suggesting it.).  As you got out of the shower and made coffee, you still hadn’t talked. 

 

“You aren’t really mad, are you?” Thank goodness you were facing away from him as he put his arms around your waist and started kissing your neck with more-than-a-little enthusiasm.  You held onto the edge of the countertop to stop yourself from winding your hands behind his neck. You screwed your face up into a neutral expression and turned.

 

“Nope. Not mad.”

 

“Ok, good.  Then you wouldn’t mind if I…” he started kissing your jaw and neck, running his hands under the back of your shirt.

 

“UGH! GROSS!”  You cackled at Steve’s purple face when Gabbi emerged from her room.  She managed to be mortified even with her eyes seemingly glued to her phone.  “If you’re going to do that in the morning, can you please not make it in a shared living space?”

 

“Can’t promise, sweetie.  You know how young love is….”  Her eye roll said it all. You might have heard her mumble “...the oldest young loves in history.”  You laughed as Steve quickly disappeared next door.

_________________________________________________________________________________

“Shutup, jerk! It’s not funny!”

 

Bucky’s breath was coming in ragged gasps while he laughed. “It’s hilarious.  I would’ve killed to see your face when the kid walked in.”

 

As Steve pushed his way past his friend who was wiping the laughing tears from his eyes, his thoughts refocused.

 

“If you’re done, Sergeant, can we talk about my honeymoon?”

_____________________________________________________________________________________

After helping the girls start their packing for their annual trip to see their Dad’s family, you felt restless.  You walked around your apartment, aimless and unsettled. You hadn’t felt like this for a long time, and you weren’t sure of the cause.  When Steve walked in, you were flipping through the pages of one of your professional journals, perfecting the art of pretending to read.

 

“Hey beautiful, what’s up?” His kiss was soft and perfect and so very Steve.  You still sighed.

 

“Nothing.  Feeling a bit off, like I don’t know what to do with myself.” After a beat, you turned your head, surprised.  It was unlike Steve not to probe further.

 

“I might have the cure for that.  You remember how we got married?” You had to snort.  “I’ve heard that traditionally, people go on a honeymoon afterwards.”  

 

“Thankfully, most people don’t get waylaid by deranged twins with a death wish for your new husband and your unborn child.”  You giggled. Why not? It may have been macabre, but if you didn’t laugh you would never stop crying over the insanity.

 

“It seems like a long time ago that you asked me to be in charge of our honeymoon plans, so I got it all ready, and then life went to hell.  Thanks to Tony, we’re back on track. Do you still feel up to going away?”

 

There was no doubt in your mind that you wanted to go on a honeymoon.  You and the baby were doing great, and the second trimester was the one you knew you had to make the most of.  Your listlessness was fading, replaced by eagerness and a big smile.

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“I’d like to keep it a surprise, but since you have trust issues when it comes to things like this….” His shit-eating grin made its first appearance in quite a long time.  Even though you wanted to pinch him, just seeing that snarky smile made you realize normalcy could once again be possible. Hopefully.

 

“I’ll just tell you it’s in Europe, so bring warm clothes.”

 

You were one lucky woman.  Not only did your husband remember some casual remark you’d made about wanting to travel in Europe, he knew, without a word being said, that you didn’t feel your most confident lounging on a beach in a swimsuit.  Cool weather equaled the kind of clothes you wished you could wear all year long. 

 

Your kiss was passionate, full of love and happiness.  Steve pulled back from you, smiling. “We should probably start packing, then.  We leave the day after tomorrow.”

 

Steve laughed as you immediately got out a notebook and started making multiple lists. No more aimless wandering, you were in your zone.  Planning, multitasking, and prioritizing were your jam and actually turned you on a bit (don’t judge, everyone has their thing). Apparently, things like passports and money were taken care of, and your girls were leaving on their trip with their Dad early the next day.  Steve explained that at the end of their Cali visit, Bucky would fly there and accompany them to Europe for the remainder of your trip. You cringed at the thought of the cost, and felt like you were taking advantage of Tony’s generosity, but knew he’d scoff at your concerns so you kept quiet.  For now.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Flying on a private plane was heavenly.  No lines, no waiting, no hassle. The flight was direct, uneventful, and restful - the antithesis of commercial air travel.  Steve spent time in the cockpit while you napped and read and ate and napped and ate some more. He gently woke you with a kiss as the plane started to descend through the dense cloud cover.  

 

“Is this much fog normal?” Nodding and kissing your temple as you stared through the tiny window side by side, “Yes, every time I’ve flown into London, there’s been heavy cover.”  You knew he wanted to see your face when he told you, and your joy didn’t disappoint. You cupped his face and kissed him gratefully. 

 

After an incredibly easy arrival and a rest at the hotel, Steve finally shared your itinerary over a casual dinner.

 

“It’s been a long time since I fought in Europe with the Commandos.  I’ve always appreciated your questions about that time in my life and those places, but I felt bad I wasn’t able to tell you much.  I was so focused on our missions, and then after Bucky….well, it was an all-consuming job that didn’t allow time for sightseeing. I’d like to see the places I’ve only read about - Normandy, St. Mere-Eglise, the War Museum in London - but not as a soldier.  I thought you’d love it as much as I would.”

 

You heart sped up with excitement, but there was a sense of fear skirting around the edges. “This idea is perfect Steve, but I don’t want you to relive something painful for my sake.”

 

His hand covered yours while you spoke and then he leaned down to kiss it.  “I knew you’d say something like that, because you’re you - but most of my fighting time was spent in Germany.  These are places I never saw, never fought in, but want to experience. It’s been a long time Steph, these are far from fresh feelings.”  

 

After exacting a promise that he would tell you if something was too much, you shared dessert and spent the evening hearing all the plans. He was busting at the seams to share the plans.

 

“Pepper’s secretary Katie helped me with the planning.  Dr. Cho said you were cleared, and I wanted us to see so many places, but Katie helped me narrow it down.  We’ll start here in London with the War Museum, then do as much or as little as you’re up for of the more traditional stuff - Buckingham Palace, Big Ben….”

 

“Oh, we HAVE to see the Queen’s garden!  It’s a public place - I saw a documentary on it awhile ago and it was spectacular.”  He immediately got out his phone to text Katie, asking her to arrange it.

 

“Then France.  We’ll stay at what Katie says is “THE best hotel there” and do the landing sites - Omaha and Utah beaches.  If the hotel is as nice as the pictures, I can’t imagine I’ll want to take you out too often...there’ll be too many other fun things we can do.”  His grin was contagious, and filled you with excitement….or something like that. After finishing dinner, you were inspired to take him back to your room to really start your honeymoon.  

 

As much as Steve wanted to do the “normal” touristy thing at museums and memorials, he knew it wasn’t always practical, but being Captain America had its privileges.  Between his and Tony’s contacts, private tours and visits to breathtaking historical sites were arranged. The days and nights were a blur of train and ferry rides, an enormous amount of walking, and hours of talking about big and small things.

 

Seeing the war 80 years removed was still an ordeal.  Your eyes were glued to him as much as to the historical sites.  He repeatedly assured you he was ok, just trying to process and reconcile what you were seeing with his memories.  You felt so much love for him when he shared stories that you’d only heard parts of or seen on TV. The stories about Bucky were the best and worst, making your chest feel hollow and your eyes fill with tears.  The bright side, if there was one, was that Bucky was here again, as much a part of his life as he was before the war.

 

You were taking a day off from sightseeing after experiencing the heaviness of Normandy and the feelings that surfaced as a result, for both of you.  The fire crackled in your suite at your hotel, the  Château La Chenevière (Katie was definitely right about its opulence).   You both had plenty on your mind - the baby and the upcoming trial at the top of the list, but the thing that bugged you most and was a bit more controllable was the decision where you would live.  No time like the present to make huge decisions that impacted your family’s entire life.

 

“We’ve started this discussion a bunch of times, Steph, but we didn’t get anywhere.  You sure you want to have it now? Here?”

 

“Yes.  We need to decide this.  This baby is going to be here in the next 6 months.  In Brooklyn it can take that long to get permits! If we have a plan, we at least put pieces in motion and then it’s out of our hands until it all gets approved.  First, though, we have to agree on where and what. Everything else follows. My vote is for combining our apartments. We wouldn’t need to sell and we could stay in a neighborhood we both love.  The resulting square footage would give us plenty of space, and even allow the girls a bit of independence.”

 

Steve laid his head on your shrinking lap, and rubbed your belly through your shirt, which felt very good.  When a moan escaped, his eyebrows went up and he started kissing where his hands had been. 

 

“Hey, loverboy, can we finish this discussion before starting something else?  Do you think I could call for a vote?”

 

“I vote yes.  I’ll call Tony tomorrow and ask for real estate lawyer and contractor recommendations and we can use the company that rebuilt the cabin.  They were great. Hopefully, we can get it all approved and done by the time the baby comes. Until then, we can stay in my suite at the Tower.”   

 

You looked down at his beautiful, peaceful face and kissed him with as much feeling as you could convey.  Neither of you were surprised when that led to clothes being shed and a romantic night swim in the private infinity pool.  God, you were spoiled. Might as well enjoy it, it had been a very long year.

__________________________________________________________________________________

It didn’t seem possible that three weeks had passed, but there you were, waiting for Bucky and the girls to arrive for the last part of your trip.  Unbeknownst to him, you had worked hard to convince Ally she should come as a surprise, and you were off the wall with excitement. Steve stood back and stared, not accustomed to this seldom-seen part of your personality.  

 

You saw the girls first, their eyes eagerly searching for you.  You knew they missed you if they were looking up instead of at their phones.  Their protector’s tired eyes brightened as his charges’ hugs made you and Steve take a step backwards.  After everyone’s belongings were gathered, very fast stories shared, and smartphones synced, you headed back to your London hotel.

Thankfully, both girls were so jetlagged that all they wanted was food, a shower, and a bed.  After all those objectives were met, the three adults sat in the living area and talked, Bucky’s eyes lighting up as he told some choice stories about the trip.  

 

When the phone rang a while later from the front desk announcing a guest, you knew he would accompany you downstairs.  It was worth every single moment of planning and every single penny spent just to see Bucky’s face as he strode towards the front desk in full-on soldier/protector mode and was confronted by the woman with whom he was falling in love.  It was like you were a spazzed out 14-year-old watching a romantic comedy for the very first time (if that person didn’t look at all like a teenager and was obviously inundated with pregnancy hormones). You were the only one paying any attention to your surroundings, since two of your most special people were busy saying hello with their faces glued together.  

 

Your attempt to interrupt the makeout session by loudly clearing your throat was ignored.  So you changed tactics and pulled both of their hair. That did it. After Ally smacked you and Bucky pulled yours in return, you kissed and hugged your friend, pressing her room key into her hand.  “Room service will be there whenever you call. Tomorrow we have reservations for the 4 of us to go to Euro Disney. Guess you guys will have to find some things to do on your own.” As Steve stepped off the elevator, you wrapped your arm around his waist.

 

“As you can see Sergeant, I’ve got my own security detail in place.  Consider yourself off duty for the evening. ‘Night you two.”


	27. Rising Action

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cliche is true - the more things change, the more they stay the same. Stephanie and Steve had enjoyed their honeymoon, had spent time with family and friends, and enjoyed relative peace for the first time since their wedding. The life of an Avenger is never quiet for long, and this new chapter of this life was no different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone's kind words, support, and encouragement - I have finished this, my first story! Here is the beginning of the last three chapters. I'm sad, honestly, but thrilled that they've turned out this way. I could not have done this without @MSEnglish101 encouraging me from the very first day. She has been so wonderfully patient with me - helping me fly on my own and feeling confident to do so! Thanks also to @HMarvels31 who is just the sweetest, kindest Bucky-obsessed Canadian I know (though she may be the only one I know, which is lucky in and of itself). Enjoy and thanks again for being such great readers!! - Steph

Steve’s face was beet red and his voice was as soft as possible, given that his step-daughters were watching TV two rooms away from his locked bedroom door.  Even with the walking, the traveling, and the excitement, your sex drive was through the roof, thanks to the surge of pregnancy hormones combined with the general well-being of your second trimester.

 

“Steph, Steph, harder baby, yes….oh my God……” 

 

You leaned forward on top of him, burying your face in his neck, biting his shoulder to keep from calling out his name and a lot of other 4-letter words that expressed how he was making you feel.  When he tightened the grip of his arms around you, effectively stopping your movement, you knew he was close and you whispered in his ear, “Yes baby, do it, now, I’m right here. I want you.” He didn’t need any additional encouragement as he thrust up into you, which made your head buzz and your vision blur from your own orgasm.

 

Your quiet chirp of laughter spread to him when the baby kicked hard enough for both of you to feel.  Steve helped you sit up on top of him and let his massive hands feel where his child was making its feelings known about all the activity.

 

“I know, I know, it doesn’t hurt the little one, but are you sure? I mean, most fathers aren’t….I just don’t want to….” His concern was so sweet and adorable, you leaned towards him, placing a chaste kiss on his gorgeous lips.

“Steve, we talked to Helen about this, my OB, Laura and Clint….If the baby and mom are healthy, there is no need to fear a squished baby situation. Plus, I’ve got so many hormones flooding my system, if we didn’t have sex this often, I might implode.”  You added that last part just to see his face flush red again. Your snicker made him lift up his pelvis, in order to bounce you playfully. You were never graceful, but pregnancy made your movements that much more awkward, so you took advantage of the ride to roll off of him before standing up and smiling over your shoulder as he reached out for you.

A laugh escaped as you saw his adorably pouty face. “Remember how excited I was about no-condom pregnancy sex? This is the only drawback….the cleanup.” This time  _ you _ burst out laughing as he made a face that conveyed his distaste for talking about any bodily fluid that was  **not** the result of a fight.  “Hey, Mister, you might as well get used to this topic.  When you’re a parent that’s what you talk about 24-7 until the kid is well...for a long time.”

After showering, snacking, and snuggling, you both wished the girls a goodnight and fell into bed.  When you sighed, you didn't need him to ask before speaking. “This trip was unbelievable, Steve. I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed every single minute.  Thank you.”

You looked up just in time to see him smile down at you and kiss your forehead. “I agree, it was everything I hoped it would be.  I am going to ask FRIDAY to order some flowers and get something really nice for Katie when we get back.” You offered your wholehearted endorsement of that idea and grabbed your phone for a quick text session with Ally before sleeping.

  
  


**Steph:** Hey girly, how’s it going down there on the 5th floor?

**Ally:** Great, like it has been the entire week.

**Steph:** I hope I’m not interrupting anything. ;)

**Ally:** No, that’s EXACTLY what you hope you’re doing. LOL

**Steph:** True enough.  Am I??? ;P

**Ally:** No. If you would’ve texted an hour ago, maybe, but not now.

**Steph:** He he he  I’m so happy.  I mean, I’m on a pregnancy high and got my own little afterglow going on….

**Ally:** You go girl! You are a sex machine!

**Steph:** I swear to God it’s the hormones. Second trimester is like “do it all now bc you’re not getting any for a good long while after the baby comes.” LOL.  Poor Steve. I feel like I’m setting him up for a world of disappointment.

**Ally** : I’m sure he’ll live.  He’ll be so in love with this baby (as will we all!) that all he’ll want is to make sure he takes care of you and the kid and the girls.

**Steph** : I hope so. :) Thanks sweets :) I’m gonna need some help, that’s for damn sure.

**Ally** : Bucky says “Tell her my Ma was having kids when I was practically a teenager and she was fine.  She’ll be great.”

**Steph** : Awwwww, give him my thanks in your own special way, ok? LOL.  GOD I LOVE THIS! Alright, sleep well (or not) and we’ll see you in the morning for the flight. Love you.

**Ally:** Love you too.

**Steph:** Hey

**Bucky:** Yes?

**Steph:** Thanks Buck. You know how much we all love you, right?

**Bucky:** Yeah, I’m pretty damned lucky. I love you too, Steph. 

**Steph:** ‘Night Sarge.

**Bucky:** ‘Night doll.

___________________________________________________

As the monitored communication logs came in, the tech in charge of paying attention to such things texted her boss and her boss’s boss to tell them what just came in.  “You’re going to want to see this, ASAP.” 

“Both Barnes and Rogers are in London, with their family, as we speak.  Do you have orders, Sir?”

West knew Barnes and Rogers better than any HIVE operative.  He had supervised Ellie and Wil Strucker and was responsible for the mission that finally netted the missing link in Erskine’s serum.  While the Strucker twins were incarcerated, he had been lucky enough to slip out during the chaos of their final HIVE operation. Since their capture, West had been under incredible pressure to find a team that could transform the mapped DNA sequence into a functioning serum.  His superiors did not want to hear how long this could take, they only wanted results. He had to get to Wil Strucker, and Barnes and Rogers could get him there.

“Yes.  Continue monitoring location and surveillance.  I want to know immediately when we receive intelligence of either man getting in contact with either Strucker.  I think Barnes could be convinced to pool our resources if the outcome is mutually beneficial.”

__________________________________________________

The first few days back in New York were chaotic, but happily familiar.  After visiting your place in Brooklyn, documenting the “before” and offering a few suggestions for the plans, the renovation was approved by the condo board, the proper permits received, and the work begun.

In your absence, Pepper’s team had supervised the initial packing of both your and Steve’s apartments and moved the entire clan - you, Steve, the girls, and Bucky, back into apartments in the Tower.  Lizzie and Gabbi were beyond thrilled that they had their own place next door to yours, and had permission to have friends over. You felt better than ever that FRIDAY was your mole and no matter of begging and pleading from the girls could stop the AI from informing you of what they were doing.  Keeping teenagers on their toes was a good thing. 

Life in the Tower was rarified.  You made it  _ your _ mission to fill it with as much normalcy as possible.  The girls had chores, summertime academics, and time for fun.  You were preparing for a new little life, checking in on the work in Brooklyn, and putting some time into your long-neglected (though understandably so) professional life.  Unfortunately,  _ your _ “excitement” wasn’t something you looked forward to.

As much as you wanted to avoid it, you were heavily involved in the preparation for the impending criminal court case against the Webers.  Lawyers, depositions, testimony prep - these were all words you wish you’d never heard, but had no choice but to integrate into your world.  The only bright spot is that Bucky was there during each session. - as head of your security detail he was a critical part of the prosecution’s case.  His presence was also crucial for your well-being, acting as your support and confidante, particularly when Steve was away.

“I swear, Buck, if I have to replay these events one more time…”  you sighed.

Bucky laughed, “What  _ exactly _ are you going to do, doll? Because I’m gonna follow suit.”  

Your turn to laugh.  “I guess I’m going to do as I’m told, ‘in order to reduce the intensity of my reactions through overtelling.’  You happy now, Mr. Tough Guy?”

“Steph, I am as far from happy as anyone could be to see you go through this, particularly since it was my poor judgment that caused it to happen.”  He held up his hand in front of your face as you were about to reiterate what he’d already heard, that it was complete bullshit.

“Let’s not go down this road again, doll.  It  _ is _ my fault, and I accept it.  I’m moving on from it as best I can, and the way to do that is to bring you and Stevie and the girls through this in one piece and see that bitch and her brother end.  Whatever that means.” 

You hugged him, and he leaned into it,  having discovered that the physical contact helped his mental state.  Grounded him.

As he gently pulled away, he kissed the top of your forehead. “I feel like having some ice cream.  Think the girls will want some?”

“As long as you’re buying? Of course they will.” 

You walked down to Tony’s lab, looking for Gabbi.  When you talked about some kind of academics for the summer, she asked if she could do hands-on work in robotics, coding, and computers.  With their Dad’s permission and at Tony’s encouragement, she was allowed to mentor with a group of researchers in Stark’s lab within the Tower.   Even though he was semi-retired and traveled nonstop for business and philanthropic purposes, his home was the Tower, and today, he was holding court.

You peeked through the lab’s window and saw a group of fresh-faced and impressionable kids, ahem, post-docs, raptly listening  to whatever their boss was saying. Your daughter was among them. Whether she understood anything was beside the point. She was engaged and completely absorbed, she was learning.  You didn’t want to embarass her by rapping on the window, but Tony saw you lurking and dismissed everyone but her. He welcomed you with a warm hug and kiss. Unsolicited, he whispered, “She’s got potential, Steph.  I mean it. She’s got the bug.”

“Thanks for letting her do this here Tony, this lab is the only thing she talks about.  I hope she doesn’t see anything confidential, because it is NOT safe with her.”

He smiled instead of his usual smirk and held your waist as he called her over.  “We’re not giving her the highest security clearance yet. Maybe after she finishes 7th grade.”  He turned to your daughter, whose face was nearing chartreuse, and gave her a semi-serious look. “Gabbi, you have an hour for break, then I expect you back here to help with the lab prep, ok?”  She nodded and came with you, hesitantly.

“Let’s go get Lizzie, then we’ll meet up with Bucky.  His treat today.” You took the elevator down to the public floors of the Tower, where the medical complex was located.  You waited in the lobby of the Stark Foundation Rehabilitation Center, making small talk with the variety of patients waiting for their appointments for speech, occupational, or physical therapy, prosthetic care, or mental health services.  There were multiple veterans sitting on the Stark board, and they had convinced the other members, including the CEO, to consider increased services and employment for veterans - it wasn’t a hard sell. The rehab center and veteran-run companies started small, but were growing and starting to make a name for themselves.  At the designated time, you and Gabbi smiled as you walked past the receptionist and found Sam, who had agreed to run the clinic until a permanent director could be found. 

As was usual these days, Lizzie was not far behind.  Sam smiled and tapped her shoulder, pointing in your direction.  Her face was serious as she looked at her clipboard one more time, pointed out something to her boss, and went to get her stuff.  When you checked in with Sam, he filled you in on her work.

“Steph, I know we started this to give Lizzie something to do this summer, but she has the knack.  She really listens, doesn’t just wait to talk like so many people. I don’t know how she does it, but she’s also figured out a way to keep me organized and on time - which is not easy.  She can’t observe my counseling sessions, but she asked if she could shadow the other therapists, and they all agreed, given client permission of course.”

You looked at him with expectant eyes, “Even the speech pathologist?”  You couldn’t help but want her to explore your first career. He smiled and nodded.  “You should be very proud of this girl.” You nodded back and put your hand on her shoulder as you walked out to meet Bucky in the courtyard for lunch.

This was your daily routine.  You and the girls, either with or without Steve and Bucky, eating lunch as a group and talking about anything, everything, or nothing.  You were thrilled that each girl felt engaged in their summer work, and couldn’t help but wonder if they were developing interests that could lead to a lifelong passion.  As you sat in the shade of Stark Tower and enjoyed the breezy sunny day through the filter of your polarized lenses, Lizzie asked a question that immediately gave her all your attention.

“Mom, what will it be like when the trial starts? Can we go? We don’t want you to be alone.”

You smiled and reached out a hand to each of them.  “The information I have from the lawyers is that it’s mostly long and boring with short bursts of infuriating and depressing.  I don’t know how often I have to be there, but I think I want to be there as much as I can tolerate. I want to look those people in the eye and let them know they didn’t break me - that they can kiss my ass.”

Your children gasped and giggled while Bucky smirked.  “Mom! You never swear in front of us!” 

Bucky roughed up Gabbi’s hair and chuckled, “Kid, you should hear her when you’re not around.”  

You laughed and playfully punched his right arm. “You’re right, you know my theory about how swearing is just an excuse for a weak vocabulary, but sometimes, it’s necessary.  In this case, I mean it. Just like when we all decided we would try to move back to Brooklyn because we had to know if we could do it - this is the same for me. I made it through the worst part with everyone’s help, and I need to know I can see it through until the job’s done.  I was the only one who saw all of it, so it’s on me to testify and really end it.”

You warmed when the girls wrapped you in their arms, leaving your hands free. Bucky reached out to hold them as tightly as you could tolerate while you prayed you were right - that this nightmare would finally end with the trial.  

Bucky cleared his throat and knocked on the table for everyone’s attention. “I hereby announce today as large ice cream cone day WITH sprinkles and chocolate sauce and nuts!” The girls went mental as he handed over Tony’s credit card and watched as another agent on duty followed them to the vendor.

“Steph, you know I’m going to be by your side every minute in that courtroom, right?” You grabbed his metal hand and smoothed over the  joints  in the fingers.

“I figured, Buck.  Somebody has to keep your temper in check, and I thought I’d volunteer for the job.”  You both smiled. He opened his mouth and began to speak when the girls returned with 4 huge waffle cones, bursting with tooth-rotting adornments.  After you ate a few bites, Bucky was more than happy to oblige when you offered him what you didn’t want. You started cleaning up when you noticed the time, and both girls followed suit, eager to return to their respective responsibilities  After you and Bucky dropped them off and he confirmed their agents were stationed nearby, he accompanied you to Helen Cho’s lab for your monthly checkup. Normally, of course, it would be Steve, but he was visiting families whose children were in the hospital and had asked to meet him.  Yours was a routine checkup - there was never a question in your mind as to where Steve should be.

Bucky stayed in the waiting room while you had your ultrasound and came in after you were dressed.  The tech showed him the pictures, refraining from revealing the sex - you and Steve had agreed to let that surprise reveal itself on the big day.  You whipped your head around when Bucky asked if you had any restrictions.

“Why would  _ you _ ask that?” 

His face betrayed nothing but nonchalant curiosity. “Because I’m interested, that’s why.  As head of your security detail I need to know these things, and as an Uncle-to-Be  _ and _ your personal trainer, I need to know how much I can push you during your workouts.”

You glared, your suspicious mind running rampant.  Compassionate interest, my ass. “Sure, Buck. Whatever you say.  I smell subterfuge.”

His laughter rang out through the small exam room, and the tech smiled, both at the joyous sound and the way it lit up his face, making those blue eyes radiate warmth.

“Steph.  C’mon. I think you’ve been hanging around me too much, you’re getting paranoid. Nothing sneaky is going on.” He smiled sweetly.  You weren’t buying it for a minute, but decided to play along. 

When you returned to your suite you texted Steve, giggled when you saw him defending small children from their bad-guy teddy bears at the hospital, and laid down, with the intention of closing your eyes for no more than 15 minutes.

When you pried your eyelids open, you groaned as you saw the bedside clock.  You had been asleep for over 2 hours. You slowly turned over, the heavy arm that lay over your left side following your movements without shifting.  You craved the deep pressure Steve’s body provided as much as the gorgeous aesthetic you were lucky enough to see when you looked at him. When you saw that he had fallen asleep next to you with his street clothes on, you couldn’t resist staring. 

You stayed that way, snuggling a bit closer but remaining quiet, until he quietly opened his eyes and smiled.  “Trying to memorize me?”

“Nah, did that a long time ago.  Just appreciating, like people do when they see a work of art.”  His eyes crinkled along while the most adorable blush rushed to color his cheeks.  

He kissed you softly.  “I don’t know about all that, but it’s quite the compliment.  Thanks.”

Your turn to smooch him before getting up.  “Anytime, Cap.” You continued talking as you walked towards the closet.  “Tell me about your day and I’ll tell you about mine.” 

Steve had visited countless children in his life as Captain America.  He considered it one of his greatest privileges, giving a sick kid an infusion of the giggles or making their parent’s day when their kid lit up for the first time in too long.  Today was no different. He shared stories of families that you knew both inspired and decimated him. He always craved quiet, close physical contact at the end of those days, letting his frustration, anger, and tears at the unjust nature of life roll off his mountainous shoulders.  Today there was something different, something darker burdening him. You were relieved when he shared it willingly.

“I’ve thought before about what it would be like to be the parent of a sick child.  I  _ was _ a sick child and I saw how hard it was on my Ma, on Bucky, even on  _ his _ Ma for goodness’ sake - but today, it was different.  For the first time, while I was there, the reality was available.  I am - we are - going to have our own little one, and though all signs point to the contrary, what if the old me, the sickly, spindly Steve who would fall over at the slightest whiff of a cold, is my 50% the kid gets?  Steph, that connected like a damn punch to the gut, almost took my breath away.” He pulled you from where you sat next to him on the bed, all but crushing you in his arms.

As he held you, your words came easily.  “We don’t know what’s going to happen with this little one.  We just know we love Baby Rogers already, and that he or she is going to come into this world with the best, strongest, most loving and crazy support system anyone could ask for.  Whomever he or she is, whatever his or her challenges are, they are nothing in the face of that strength. We’ll deal. I’ll tell you that. We will deal and do whatever it is we can to support the little one.  It’s really simple. The rest of is just making busy work for our brains.”

You held his face in your hands and kissed him. “This baby is a miracle.  It is you, it is me, and it is very lucky to have parts of people who love each other, and who will love him or her as much as we do.”

Steve saw you look at the clock and sat up fully, pulling you in for one last kiss.  “Thanks.”

His pain was still clearly on display.  He looked at you with a sad smile, the one that rarely made an appearance.  When it did, it always deflated you while making you love him even more.

You made eye contact and raised your eyebrows expectantly.

“It’s…..”

You cradled his head to your chest, breathing deeply as tears threatened both of you.   
  


“I don’t know….”

“Steve, whatever you want to say, or don’t want to say, I can hear it.  I can handle it. Don’t forget - I’ve worked with parents of kids with needs for a long time.  I promise you I’ve heard more self-doubt, guilt, and pure unadulterated pain than I’d ever want to tell you about.  It would be my honor to share yours with you.”

This man, who carried mountains on his back, finally let it out. “Steph, it’s just so hard to think about our child hurting like those kids today.”

“I wish there was another answer, but we both know that yes, it is.  Here’s the thing, though. We signed up for hard. The Rogers don’t run, Cap.  We face it head on. So, we’ve got the most important parts of any plan already in place.”

You didn’t want to rush, but you knew the girls would be home shortly and dinner wasn’t going to cook itself.  Maybe you’d talk to Tony about that automated cooking robot idea next. The night passed peacefully as you ate dinner together.  The girls were thrilled to have a relatively uninitiated audience to their tales, and told stories with gusto, with Steve reacting in all the right places.

__________________________________________________

Ellie Weber was the model inmate.  She listened, didn’t make problems with her cellmates or the guards, and kept her head down.  That didn’t stop her from collecting intel on everything she saw - the shift changes, the guards who were dangerous to the girls and those who were decent, the inmates who could possibly be on HIVE payroll and checking her out just as she was sighting them.  

“Don’t you ever talk?” The woman she worked next to in the prison kitchen never gave up.  Every single day she would try to talk to Ellie and every single day Ellie responded with the most cursory, noncommittal answers in the English language.  Most days, the woman got the message, but today for some reason, she was sticking to Ellie like glue.

Though far from breaking, Ellie thought scare tactics might be in order.   With a menacing voice and completely blank expression, she got up in the woman’s face.  “Don’t you get it? I. Don’t. Talk. Leave me alone and we’ll be all good. Got it?”

Ellie expected the woman to be petrified, or at least put off, but that didn’t happen.  She leaned forward and whispered in an equally menacing tone.

“Sorry, that ain’t happening ‘til I deliver my message.”  Ellie didn’t react, didn’t show any sign of interest.

The woman, whose name Ellie never bothered to learn, spoke with an unexpected level of precision.  “West wants you to know Wil has one chance, one opportunity to survive this. You must make sure he works with us to complete the serum project.  Since you decided to be tried together, you will see each other at the pre-trial conference next week. It’s the last opportunity you have to give him a chance at life.”

The woman walked toward the guard, spoke briefly, and was allowed to exit the kitchen.  Though it appeared Ellie was focused on her given task, her mind was already analyzing every part of the message.  She was impressed. West threatened the one person Ellie valued more than anything, more than her own life. He knew she would stretch or even exceed the limits of her influence over her brother to insure his survival.  He knew she would sacrifice herself without hesitation. Suddenly, it came to her. 

Barnes.

_________________________________________________

You were surprised when Sam and Tony knocked on your door on what seemed to be a random, unassuming day.  You were reading over the briefing documents in preparation for the pre-trial conference. Though you didn’t have to attend, you wanted to stay as close to the process as possible, and wrapping your brain around the legal jargon helped.  Your yellow notepad of questions and comments was rapidly filling when FRIDAY announced your guests.

For you, hugging was mandatory, and almost every person, with the exception of Natasha, had come to love - or at least tolerate - it.  These guys were no different. You tried playing the hostess role as you were taught, but they clearly had business on their minds.

“Steph, Sam and I have been talking about the Rehab Center.  You’ve been down there, you know how busy it’s getting.”

“I’m so thrilled you agreed to put this good out in the world, Tony.  Not surprised - from what I’ve learned from Steve and Sam about veterans, as well as my own work, there’s a huge void in terms of caring for folks when they come back.  Bureaucracy is a huge impediment to quick and effective treatment.” 

You laughed out loud at your passion.  “There wasn’t even a question in there and look how much I said.  Sorry. You might want to stick to yes/no questions from here on out.”

Sam chuckled with that brilliant smile for accompaniment. “You helped us get so much together on the therapy services end, and it’s been working, but barely.  My passion is the work, not all the stuff that goes into running a clinic. We want you to run it.”

At first, your mind was blank, but a minute later the gears started turning and the men saw your face change.  

“Told ya.” Tony held out his hand to Sam.  Everything was a bet with these idiots.

“Really? I haven’t said a single word.  What could you have possibly won, Stark?”  Despite the words you said, your voice completely gave away that your brain was churning with ideas.  Both men looked at you in disbelief - cocked eyebrows, smirks, and all. You couldn’t stop yourself from bursting out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Steve and Bucky walked in while the three of you tried calming down amidst side comments and funny looks.

“Your wife is going to work for me.  Well, technically, the Stark Foundation, but yeah, I’m indoctrinating her into the cult.”

You wiped away the laughing tears and walked over to your husband to kiss him on the cheek and hold his hand.  His face was serious and Bucky’s even more so.

“What?” You stood in front of them and scanned their faces.

“I’m sure Tony left out a bunch of stuff, but….what is he talking about?”  You did a quick recap, emphasizing that a three-sentence interaction was not a binding contract.  Both super soldiers visibly lightened as they heard a more accurate re-telling of events. 

“Chill old man, she’ll be fine.  Plus, it’ll give her something to do after the baby is born.”

The four men stared as a maniacal laugh escaped you.  You doubled over, their naive stares making it hard for you to catch a breath.  Finally, after gently patting Tony’s head and grabbing a water, you took a deep breath and sat down.  

“Ahhhhh, spoken like a true man.  Really you guys miss out on a lot of programming with only one X-chromosome, you can’t possibly keep up with us double X-ers.”  They were dumbstruck but smart enough to stay quiet.

Your air quoting was in full effect as you took a deep breath and let loose. 

“Give me something to do after the baby is born?” 

They all got the “uh-oh” look on their faces.

“GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO?” 

Cover was being scouted and silent rivers of blame being thrown at Tony for opening his mouth.

“Oh, you mean, besides raising two teenagers, being the wife of an Avenger, which means single motherhood sometimes, and shepherding a possibly-enhanced child through the beginnings of life?”  

These men among men now looked scared that you might breathe fire, or worse, go into labor in front of them.  That shit was gross.

They got it.  They were treading lightly, but you weren’t  _ really _ mad, so you let them off the hook.  “Don’t worry about it, guys. I just wanted to yank your chains and remind you not to be idiots when you’re not the ones actually carrying the child.”

Tony quickly suggested lunch on him and made multiple mea culpas.  “Tony, we’re fine. Just, you know...filter? Sometimes they help.” He wasn’t buying it, but played along.

With an obvious wink to you, he turned to Steve.  “So Cap, are you gonna let your little woman take the job or what?”  You couldn’t help but giggle again as you watched Steve sputter on his drink, needing Bucky to pat him on the back.  

“If I  _ ever  _ think that I am the one in charge of ‘letting’ Steph do anything, take me to Clint or Nat for some cognitive recalibration.  Immediately.” 


	28. Getting Down to the Wire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Steph and Steve's honeymoon over, literally and figuratively, it was time to get back to life. The trial of her captors was about to start, and Steph was prepared to do whatever it took to give them what they both deserved. The Webers weren't going down without a fight, and don't think twice about trying to rope in someone with a past who was also part of the present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The closer I get to posting the last chapter, the more sad I get. I thank everyone who has read and enjoyed this, and I appreciate your time, efforts, and thoughtful comments. Can't wait to hear what you think about this one! - Steph

The pre-trial conference was not a formality.  Your legal team explained that it was a way to introduce motions about things like excluding certain witnesses or pieces of evidence and also a venue for the judge to encourage settlement.  

 

“Whoa.  Settle? That’s not a serious consideration, is it?” You stared at Julia, the attorney that you’d worked most closely with and with whom you had developed a friendly rapport.

 

“From a budgetary and legal standpoint, it is  _ always _ a consideration.  Trials are expensive and require an excessive amount of time and human resources.  It is prudent to explore the option, but in this case, neither side is suggesting it.  The Webers want to be heard and we want to be able to use their own words against them.”

 

You had read up on the lead defense lawyer.  He was considered an up-and-coming legal genius that dominated courtrooms and charmed jurors.  Thankfully, your team, as well as the government lawyers, were beyond reproach and had been prepping with intensity for months.  Everyone was as ready as they could be. You had confidence in their abilities and just wanted to get the show on the road.

 

Wil and Ellie had not seen each other since their arraignment, when they decided to be tried together.  Ellie’s fears for her brother’s well-being were justified when she saw him at the pre-trial conference. Wil had lived the somewhat pampered life of an academic, a scientist, and a businessman.  He was his father’s favorite son, cherished by his mother, and protected by his stronger, more aggressive twin. Jail had not been kind to him. He was thin, with skin the color of an old yellowing t-shirt, and worst, lacking the confidence he always exuded.

 

She immediately slipped into German when they saw each other.

 

“What have they done to you, dearest?” She hugged him with a ferocity she rarely exhibited.  

 

He didn’t answer.  She cupped his cheek with her hand.

 

“This life is not for you, but we have a way out.  West sent me a message.” That got him to raise his eyes with a glimmer of hope behind them.  She relayed her orders.

 

“How? You know we are not going to be found innocent, El.  We have nothing they need and we tried taking something that means everything to them.”  He bowed his head in resignation, and his sister slapped him. Hard. He responded with fury in his eyes.  That’s what she wanted.

 

“Barnes.  I am going to ask our lawyers to get in touch with Barnes.  He’s all kinds of devastated that this happened on his watch.  I’ll feed him the line he wants - a chance to right his wrong with me in exchange for what we want.”

 

Wil understood and didn’t try to convince his sister to change her mind.  “No matter what, he is not going to get me released, allow me to work with them.”

 

Ellie smiled.  Her brother was back.  “No, but I have an idea.”

_________________________________________________

The conference netted some excluded evidence on both sides, but nothing that Julia deemed critical to the case.  The week before the trial you began daily run-throughs with the lawyers on various parts of your testimony. Each person had an area of specialty for which they were responsible and would take the lead.  You trusted each of them and, by now, felt like an expert witness. Steve and Bucky were there, but it was Natasha you were the most thankful for. She had been in charge of the CGS pharmaceuticals investigation from the beginning and played a significant role in establishing the chain of physical evidence against the Webers.  You were particularly touched when she took you out to lunch and refused to allow the men to join or other security to tag along. Not one dissenting opinion was heard.

 

You were getting bigger every day, as your third trimester rolled along.  You were only 32 weeks - with the longest 8 to go until your due date. Each of your daughters had attempted to hang out past their due dates, so unless something happened, you weren’t betting on an early delivery.  As you dug into your salad and sipped your water, you questioned Nat about her observations and solicited any advice she had to give, as you knew she wouldn’t sugarcoat it. She had a few thoughts, but overall was pleased.  When your plates were cleared, she looked at you and smiled as she lightly placed a hand on your tummy.

“You’ve done well, Steph.  I’m not one for big emotional speeches, but I know it may have seemed like I was always coming down on the side opposite of your safety, I want to make sure you know why.”

You gently put your hand on hers.  “I do, Nat. I didn’t at first, but I get it now.  Steve and Bucky explained it more than once. They love you, and I know you only do things you feel are right.  We’re good.”

She pulled out another one of Tony’s credit cards (was he just handing those things out like Halloween candy?) and offered one more piece of advice before returning you to the conference room.  “Steph, don’t underestimate the Webers, particularly Ellie. She’s going to do and say anything she can to save her brother and herself. She’s going to try to take down Bucky, Steve, SHIELD, everyone - and don’t let anyone tell you that she can’t do it.”

_______________________________________

The first day of the trial you did a double take when Bucky arrived to escort you to the courthouse.  Steve was already there, as he wanted to personally review all the security protocols before allowing you in the building, so Bucky was on point for you.  You and Pepper had gone shopping for suitable outfits, given your ever-changing shape, settling on comfortable loose dresses with sweaters, if needed. 

“Sergeant Barnes? Is that you?”  You chuckled as he flipped you off.

“Yes, Mrs. Rogers, it’s me.  You’ve seen me spiffed up before, don’t start.”  

You took out your phone and snapped a pic of him scowling in his navy blue suit, white shirt and tie.  His hair was pulled back low on his neck and his stubble was as trim as you’d seen it. Whoa. Thank God you were taken or there’d be drooling.

“Ally is going to die over this.”  You sent it quickly and put the phone away, checking you had everything you needed for a day sitting in a courtroom.  It was predicted that you wouldn’t testify for at least a couple of days, depending on the length of opening statements and other miscellaneous issues.   

Bucky walked you downstairs and through the back entrance to the garage.  He was personally driving you each day, with at least two agents backing him up.  When you sat side-by-side in the front seat of the car, he put his hand on your knee.

“Ready, doll?”

You smiled and nodded. “As I’ll ever be.”

_______________________________

Ellie saw Stephanie as soon as she and Wil were escorted into the courtroom.  She was ecstatic that Barnes sat next to her, not even looking her way as the guards brought her and Wil to the table flanked by their lawyers.  During the pre-trial conference, after Wil agreed to her idea, she asked her lawyer to reach out and get a time for them to meet with the government, particularly with Barnes, suggesting she had information to share about a larger circle of criminal activity.  

Ellie’s request was denied, following a lack of hard evidence to back up her claims, but she knew that Barnes had received her message.  Now all she had to do is wait. She knew that idiot would not give up any chance to destroy an offshoot of HYDRA, or to wipe the Webers off the face of the planet.

As the government started its opening statement, she could feel Barnes’ eyes on her.  Only at the end of the first day did she grant him the satisfaction of turning to look him in the eye.

_______________________________________________

The Winter Soldier was a master assassin.  If he wanted to take out Ellie Weber in a packed courtroom, he could and no one would know it was him.  Irregardless, when she walked into the courtroom, it wasn’t the Soldier’s cold, detached reaction that flooded his system.  No, the feelings all belong to James Buchanan Barnes, the kid from Brooklyn who protected a certain little guy, his sisters, and his Ma with everything he had.  Bucky Barnes knew he had to squash the white hot anger that threatened to boil over, for Steph’s sake. 

What he could not keep under wraps was his curiosity.  Weber’s lawyer had approached him to set up a meeting, and upon approval from the government’s attorneys, it was going to happen after this first day of court.  He knew not to believe a word that bitch said, but if listening to her would protect his family or end The HIVE, he would do whatever was necessary.

________________________________________________

“Mom, please, can we come?” You shook your head firmly, not inviting debate.  The girls had asked to talk to you alone in their suite, the night before your testimony began, and you had obliged.

“But Mom, listen.  We thought about what you said.  About being there and showing them they can kiss your behind?” You all laughed at Lizzie’s editing.   You nodded in agreement. “We want to show them that, too. We almost lost you, but we didn’t. We want to show them that we are stronger, together.”

For a split-second you were tempted, but then thought about a million different variables, the biggest being that you would not be able to filter or censor anything they heard.  They would be present for a full and realistic accounting of every minute of your capture at the hands of people you, and they, had trusted. You couldn’t put them through that.

“Girls, I hear you, but the answer is no.  I need to ask you to trust me and your Dad on this.  We decided that the things you could hear might cause you some real and possibly permanent trauma.  I could not live with myself if that happened because you wanted to support me. I do have an idea though.”  You shared with them what  _ would _ help you get through, and though they weren’t completely on board with not attending, the discussion ended amicably.

“Was it what you thought?” Bucky and Steve were waiting in your apartment while you talked with the girls in theirs.  The first days had gone well, according to people who would know, and now these men were making sure you felt safe and ready for your turn the next day.  

“Yes.  We talked it through, and they agreed to support me in other ways.”  Both girls were going to be with their father and step-mother with an expanded security detail during the duration of your testimony.  That is the only way you felt free to do what you needed to do.

“Good.  They don’t need to hear any of that shit, and I don’t want Weber eye-ballin’ them, not even a little.”  Bucky was calm, but talk of the girls and Weber breathing the same air was a very real trigger. You and Steve each took one of his hands, and silently breathed deeply.  

Steve got up from the table and walked to the door, smiling at you as he turned his head.  

“C’mon.  Tony’s Pizza for dinner tonight!”  

“What? You’re letting me go to Brooklyn for dinner?”  You looked at your husband with wide, thankful eyes. 

He and Bucky smiled at each other as they opened the door to your suite.  Waiting in the hall were the Unholy Trinity - Maria, Jen, and Ally - and boxes and boxes of piping hot Tony’s Pizza.  You kissed both men and ran into the arms of three women who were as much family to you as your siblings and parents. 

Of course, Maria was the first to speak. “Steve said that you wouldn’t mind some non-legal, non-Avenger company tonight.  I thought you might be missing Tony’s almost as much as you missed us, so I stopped and got a few pies. I also brought videos of the renovation and a punch list of things we’ll need to do to get it ready.” You might have squealed as you hugged her and asked FRIDAY to alert the girls to come over. 

She smiled lovingly at your tears.  “You may thank me now.” 

That night as you and Steve lay in bed, you thanked him for being the best husband in the entire world.  “That was exactly what I needed tonight, love. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.  I knew the last thing you needed was to dwell on tomorrow.  I also got the distinct feeling that Bucky was really missing Ally, but he would have never left us to go see her, so….two birds and all.”

“You’re pretty smart, Cap, you know that?”

“In addition to being the best husband in the entire world? This is a night to remember.”  You both laughed as you kissed, his hand molding to your stomach where Baby Rogers was doing its best to keep you awake.  He scooted down and talked to the little one, and as you listened to his soothing deep voice, your eyes started to close. 

___________________________________

You were nervous but not panicked as you walked into the courthouse the next day.  You made sure to pee at least 100 times so you wouldn’t have to excuse yourself in front of the entire courtroom.  

“The government calls Stephanie Rogers to the stand.”  Now - panicked.

After the first questions you calmed down and got into the rhythm your lawyers drilled into you from day one.  You listened carefully, answered only what you were asked, and looked at the person asking the questions, as well as the jury.  After over an hour of questioning, the judge called for a recess and you took what felt like your first real breath of the day. After coming back from, you guessed it, the bathroom, Steve brought you a snack and a glass of water in the antechamber near the main room.  

When the bailiff called you back in, you both stood and your husband looked you straight in the eye.  

“You got this.  Remember, Rogers don’t run.”  He kissed you hard and held your hand until you returned to the stand.

After your team was finished came the hard part - the defense team’s cross examination.  You breathed deeply, took a sip of water, and rubbed your stomach, as Baby Rogers chose that moment to play soccer in utero.  After the initial getting to know you chit-chat, fun time was over.

“Mrs. Rogers, why were you kidnapped in the first place? You do not hold a security clearance, you do not have any known value to the intelligence community, what possible reason would anyone have to take you?”

“You mean other than having neurologically-deviant thinking?” That was objected and the judge gave you a “don’t be a smartass” look.

“I do not know why I was kidnapped.”

“Can you offer your opinion?”  Your team did not object, so you did as you were asked.  You maintained a neutral expression and made eye contact with Steve.  He gave you an almost-imperceptible nod.

“Captain Steven Rogers was my boyfriend at the time of the first abduction and my husband at the time of the second.  He has all the things that I lack regarding value to the intelligence community, etc. I surmised I was used as leverage to get something from him.  This was confirmed by both Agent Weber and her brother when they attempted to harvest somatic stem cells from my unborn child, in utero.”

The defense lawyer continued to fish around, with multiple attempts to get you to provide information.  Your legal team had prepared for the contingency that they might try to get you to talk about Erskine’s serum and had done significant prep in that area.  Thankfully, classified intel is protected from testimony in open court, and he was not successful. 

“Mrs. Rogers, how do we know you’re telling the truth?”  He was not ready for you.

“I believe that my eye-witness testimony, in conjunction with the material evidence produced by the prosecution, including fingerprints, conclusive IP address information for the streaming video ransom notes, collaborative testimony from Agent Romanoff, Captain Rogers, and Sergeant Barnes, and the ballistics and DNA evidence at both crime scenes are more than sufficient proof that my testimony is true.”  Fuck you, asshole.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Bucky smiling ear-to-ear and Steve fired up with pride.  You were pretty damn proud of yourself, too, if you must admit.

He continued to poke and prod, trying to deconstruct your testimony around the apartment break-in, your kidnapping and abduction across the US border, your injuries, and your eventual betrayal by Ellie Weber and attempt on your and your unborn child’s life.  You felt guilty you had ever complained about all the trial prep, because you had a calm and accurate answer for everything that idiot threw at you.

“How did I know Agent Weber was responsible for these acts?  She told me, while I was strapped down to a table and introduced to her brother who was inserting an IV into my arm.  I believe that the GPS tracker data on me from Mr. Stark, already entered into evidence, showed our approximate locations for the entire time in question.  She confessed - no - bragged about her plan to me, during the procedure, prior to the explosion.

“Last question, from your observation, were there any other people present at either abduction who were giving orders or directives to your captors, or to the Webers?”  Ahhhhh, first smart question of the day.

“Yes, I observed people who appeared to be conveying orders or directives to both Ellie and Wil Weber.”

“Are they present in the courtroom today?”

“I do not see them.”

“Were they taken into custody the day of the second abduction?”

“I would not know, I had lost consciousness following the amniocentesis and was rushed back to Stark Tower for emergency fetal medical care.”

Of course, he knew that.  Of course he wanted to introduce the idea that the Webers were not wholly responsible for what happened to you.  He opened the door just enough to get the death penalty off the table.

When you were dismissed, the judge adjourned for the day.  You returned to your seat to find only Steve.

Despite questioning where Bucky was, Steve would only allude to an appointment he had with the lawyers related to his portion of the case.  You were too tired to probe further.

______________________________________________

Bucky waited in the conference room for the lawyers.  He felt calm, in control. He played this scene in his mind often since Weber was taken into custody - what he would do, what he would say the first time he came face-to-face with her.   In preparation for this meeting, Steve and Nat reminded him of one thing - let the Soldier run the show. There was no place in this meeting for Bucky Barnes’ love and emotion.

The room soon filled - a lawyer for each side, Ellie and Wil Weber, and Bucky.  He sat and waited, letting the Soldier’s face, his voice, his body language be the only things the others saw.  On the other side, Ellie thought she was in charge. It irked her that she had to get approval from her lawyer before proposing her idea.

“We know you want West.  We know you want the HIVE.  We can give them to you.”

The Soldier’s dead stare bore into her, causing the merest blip in Ellie’s confidence.  She laid it out. There was no room for coy negotiating tactics.

“West has used the genetic material from the Rogers fetus to identify the last element of Erskine’s serum,” she saw understanding around the table and continued “but he does not have a scientist that can successfully integrate it into what The HIVE already has - the imperfect formula that runs through your veins.”

The Soldier’s voice was barely audible, lacking all the vitality of James Barnes.  He leaned forward in his seat, his left hand sliding across the table, his eyes never leaving Wilhelm Weber’s.  

“You can create the serum using me, can’t you.”  

The scientist tried to remain unruffled, but he was much less accustomed to the muscle end of the business and quickly looked away.

That intense gaze turned towards Ellie.  “You want us to let him go back to West.” 

With calculated intent, he stood up, knocking the chair to the floor while laying his metal hand on the table with just enough force to vibrate the large piece of solid-wood furniture.  The startle around the table confirmed that they were all paying attention.

“No. There is no win for us in this.  If he doesn’t do it, you will both be murdered in a gruesome and vindictive way.  I don’t see a problem there. If he goes back, The HIVE gets the serum and we’re fighting an army of super soldiers? THAT is a problem.”

Ellie knew she had to leap. Now. “Do you think I’m that stupid?” 

It was Barnes’ emotions she saw when he turned towards her and sat back down.  She was jubilant that she had his attention.

“Wil needs to testify.  He needs to testify and he needs to talk about the serum, in open court.”  

The entire table erupted.   

“That is classified top secret.”

“There is no way Fury and the government are going to allow it.”

A chill went through the room when he started to laugh as Ellie finished speaking.  He understood her game before anyone else. Bucky stood and walked out of the room.

As he left, he looked Ellie Weber in the eye.  “We’ll talk again tomorrow.”

_________________________________________

You put your feet up and moaned graphically when Steve started massaging them.  You looked down at him over the baby bump and smiled wearily. He looked up and kissed your belly, then lifted you out of the chair to bring you to bed.  You didn’t say a word, letting him gently deposit you, help you out of your dress, and put on one of his t-shirts and your boy shorts. 34 weeks was upon you and you were starting the hard part of pregnancy - the “tired, can’t eat, always have to pee, get this kid out of me and feel extremely undesirable” part.  

“I am so proud of you, Steph.  You were astounding today. I think anyone in attendance saw how you were in command the entire time.  It was sexy as hell.”

You laughed quietly and kissed his cheek.  “That’s the last word I would use to describe myself right now, but I do feel proud of how I handled everything.  Do you think I’m done testifying?”

He leaned beside you, rubbing your lower back, which hurt most of the time these days and kissing your neck.  “As you wrapped up, Julia thought today was it. She even suggested taking tomorrow off to rest, in case you were called for rebuttal.  I’m going to make that an order, soldier.” He laughed as he heard you talking nonsense and drift off to sleep.

You had no idea what time it was when you woke up, but quickly realized it was the middle of the night and Steve wasn’t in bed.  That wasn’t altogether unusual, and you didn’t think much of it while you trudged to the bathroom. You laughed as you shuffled back to bed, feeling every bit of your age, with Baby Rogers dancing the tango directly on your sciatic nerve.  When you got back into bed, you stretched in an attempt to alleviate the shocks of pain running down your leg, and felt a new, noticeable, sharp pain in your abdomen. Your first instinct was to lay back and breathe deeply - you were probably dehydrated and overtired.  As you closed your eyes and breathed in through your nose and out through your mouth, the pain came back again and you couldn’t help but cry out.

You called out for Steve, if he was in the apartment he would come running when he heard you yell.  No bueno. You grabbed your phone and texted him.

**Steph:** Where are you??? I need you.

**Steve:** On my way.

A moment later he came into the bedroom and found you sitting up in bed, night table lamp on, and breathing rhythmically.   This was your favorite part about being married to Steve - he didn’t overreact, didn’t get flustered, just worked the problem, and the problem was to figure out what was going on with you.

“Do you think it’s labor?”  You shook your head and repeated your thoughts about dehydration and exhaustion.

“FRIDAY alert Bruce and Dr. Cho we’re meeting them in the med bay ASAP.”  You attempted to get up and put your robe on, but a pain struck just at that moment and you reached for his hand to squeeze.  For the second time that night, he picked you up and walked with purpose but without fear to the elevator. When you walked out the door, Bucky was coming into the hall from his suite, clearly on his way to see if he could help.

In order to avoid 20 questions, you summed up what was going on and asked that he inform the agents outside the girls’ door not to say anything and you would talk to them later, if necessary.  You were trying to be quiet, but as usual weren’t successful, and several doors opened on the hallway, spewing out cranky, sleepy Avengers. When they saw Steve’s back as he walked down the hall with you in his arms, Bucky explained and went to tell his agents what was up.  

“Bruce, Helen, I’m so sorry to wake you.  I told Steve it’s probably dehydration, but we agree you’re the best people to evaluate that.  Plus, he already had picked me up and started walking down the hall before I formulated a thought about whether to come here or not.”

After more than an hour of ultrasound, bloodwork, and monitoring, the 16 combined PhD’s and MD’s came to the same conclusion you did - round ligament pain resulting from your uterus stretching, dehydration, and exhaustion.  They put you on bed rest for at least 3 days, forbidding you to go to the courthouse or do much more than watch Netflix and go to the bathroom.

“But…” Your mind was revving - the renovations, the trial, the girls and on and on and on…..

Steve’s look was more stern than you’d seen in a very long time. “Listen, soldier.  The docs have put you on bed rest and you are going to follow that order to a T. You’re going to do that, right?”  His expression softened as he held your hand and watched the comforting regular blips on the heart monitors for you and the baby.

“Yes, sir.  Bruce, Helen, can you please tell him that I am allowed to get up to go to the bathroom and to the kitchen? Maybe even walk to another room for a change of scenery?”  They gladly clarified that distances of 10-15 steps or less were fine, as long as you didn’t stand for too long.

After thanking them and returning to your suite, you laughed when you found Bucky sitting on your sofa when you walked in, a look of concern on his face.  After you were back in bed and sleeping, and both Super Soldiers convinced you were not going into labor, Bucky gestured Steve into the living room.

“We need to talk about my meeting with Weber and Weber today.  There might be something to what they’re proposing.”

 

 


	29. Don't Mess with Steph

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was time for the ends to be tied, time for Bucky to show HIVE and the Webbers what happened when they messed with his family. Steph and Steve waited for their little one, who was more-than-anxious to arrive, while the rest of their friends and family tried to keep life as normal as possible. Whatever that means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I cannot believe this is my next-to-last chapter! It took a long time for @HMarvels31 to knock it into shape. Apparently, writing action and climactic scenes isn't my forte...but she did it! She helped me make sense of the jumbles in my head. Thanks Hayley and thank you all for reading and commenting. You make me so happy with every single one. - Steph

After 3 weeks of testimony, evidence, motions, and objections, the trial of Elsbeth and Wilhelm Weber was wrapping up.  The prosecution rested, feeling strongly that they would win. The defense team was floating the idea that the Webers were guilty, but not wholly responsible, hence requiring a reduced sentence.  The last witness for the defense was none other than Wilhelm Weber. There was a slight murmur through the crowd, as he had a higher profile than his sister, being the head of an international pharmaceutical company and well-known researcher.  Nothing was known about his personal life, and people in the courtroom wondered if some of those gaps would now be filled.

 

Another week gone, hopefully only 5 more to go.  You were at home, no longer on bedrest, but encouraged by everyone who knew you to stay away from the stress of the trial.  Since you were unable to attend in person, the prosecution had secured permission for you to view the secure video stream from the courtroom, but you had promised Steve and Bucky and everyone else who wanted in on the hand-holding that you would only watch an hour or so at a time.

 

From his place in the security center of the building, Steve wanted to keep tabs on his best friend and his wife.

 

**Steve:** You ready?

**Buck:** It’s a go.  I’ll update you when I hear anything.

 

As Dr. Wilhelm Weber Strucker introduced himself, his lawyer’s questions allowed him to tell his tale of genius, dedication to science, and lifelong investment in helping people beat their dreaded diseases.  His sister’s face remained neutral even after he portrayed himself as a somewhat innocent pawn, used by others for his scientific knowledge and access to materials.

 

When the government cross-examined, they left no stone unturned.  

 

“Dr. Weber, please tell us why you were present in the CGS lab on the day in question?”

“Dr. Weber, prior to that day, how long had it been since you had completed a hands-on procedure, such as a somatic stem-cell removal, from a living patient?”

“Can you please explain when and where you trained to do this specific procedure?”

“Could you please describe the steps and environment necessary to complete this procedure as outlined by surgical guidelines?”

“Does the manner in which you performed the procedure, as described by Stephanie Rogers and Captain Rogers, conform to standards set by the American Medical Association, of which you are a member?”

 

As the answers showed his involvement in the medical portion of your abduction and a complete lack of medical ethics, his attempts to drag others into his web, to spread the blame, took a desperate turn.

 

“Doctor, did you know who Stephanie Rogers was prior to that day?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Please explain how you knew of her.”

 

“She was abducted, under the orders of a HIVE agent, West, who then relayed orders to my sister Elsbeth Weber, who coordinated and managed the kidnapping.  My sister told me Mrs. Rogers was pregnant, that Captain Rogers was the father, and proposed the idea that the fetus had the same blood flowing through its veins as his enhanced father, and therefore was strategically valuable to fulfill our mission.”

 

“What mission are you referring to, Doctor?”

 

Then, in open court, with prior permission from both sides, Wil Weber explained his, his father’s, and his grandfather’s life work, and why Captain America held the key to achieving their ultimate goal - re-creation of Dr. Erskine’s serum.  Upon further questioning, he explained why they needed Steve’s blood, the process of recreating the serum, and then using his child’s stem cells to possibly regrow the building blocks of life, the foundation of an army of soldiers. Popular opinion throughout the courtroom was that he was a complete loon.

 

“Doctor, you realize this sounds a bit far-fetched? That someone with your credibility believes in this science fiction? Can you imagine how your research colleagues would react to this?”

 

There wasn’t much that got Wil Weber upset, but questioning his knowledge or standing in the scientific community did the trick.  The otherwise controlled man became visibly upset, and went on about how much he knew about the HIVE, about HYDRA and the importance of his work, his innovations and his unimpeachable standing in the scientific community.  The prosecution was providing all the rope he would need to hang himself as he quickly became unglued. As the judge banged his gavel and the lawyers were trying to calm everything down, Ellie Weber stood, looked at her brother and yelled.

 

“Wilhelm, hör auf! Du kannst das nicht machen.” [ _ Wilhelm, stop! You cannot do this.] _

 

The courtroom hushed as she spoke.  

 

As if they were the only ones in the room, Wil stood in the witness chair, raised his hand and pointed at her.

 

“Wir haben zu sehr daran gearbeitet, dass diese Leute uns ruinieren.”    _ [We have worked too hard to let these people ruin us.] _

 

Finally, the judge rallied the bailiffs, who dragged both defendants to the anteroom.  The main courtroom quickly stilled, and the judge ordered the gallery cleared and the lawyers into his chambers.  Bucky moved to the lobby of the courthouse, on high alert. There was definitely something going on. The Webers had been born into HYDRA - no way simple questioning without punishment would break them.  

 

Following the meeting, the judge announced the last parts of Weber’s testimony would be stricken from the record, and that court would be in recess until the next day.

 

Steve asked Bucky to accompany the security detail to Wilhelm’s prison, Limerock.  As he made his way to board the bus, Weber was a blithering mess, ranting about how his life was over and wondering who was going to get him.

 

“No one, if we have anything to say about it.”  Just as the words were out of Bucky’s mouth, with Steve looking on via the security cameras, the prison bus exploded almost directly in front of them.  Bucky covered Wil’s body with his own and unholstered his weapon. Scanning the scene, Bucky let off three rounds, taking out several of the armed men swarming the area and heading straight for his prisoner. 

 

As he swung around to get another merc coming up behind him, Steve was there.  The two men’s choreography was well-rehearsed and instinctual, no words were needed as they made quick work of the guys coming at them.

 

“Weber!” They had lost track of Weber in the fight, and saw him being shoved into a waiting vehicle that was an exact replica of a prison transport.  Steve’s shield sliced through the air and narrowly missed the car as it fishtailed out of the lot, ramming through the security checkpoint, in quick pursuit by federal marshalls.  

 

The men ran to the security center and activated a tracking device.  Bucky turned to the defense lawyer. “Tell your client phase one is complete.  It’s her brother’s turn now.”

__________________________________________________

You were going crazy at the tower, after seeing Wil Weber’s breakdown via the video stream.  Nothing calmed you - not reading, making lists, even knitting (which you had taken up for the 5,000th time).  Finally, Sam came in to tell you what happened after the feed stopped. As soon as you were assured Steve and Bucky were ok, you took a deep breath and checked in with your ex-husband John and your daughters, whose security team reported everything was normal.

 

**Steph:** Sam just filled me in.  You guys ok?

**Steve:** Yes, I love you.

**Steph:** Love you too.  Be careful, Cap.

_______________________________________________

Ellie Weber waited for word.  Waited for someone to find her and tell her what was happening with her brother, or what else they needed from her.  The message came in an unexpected way - with a weekend visit from her lawyer, to relay that she would be needed in court on Monday to corroborate Wil’s testimony.  In the room, across the table from one another, he showed her what she needed to know and she told her lawyer to carry out her portion of the plan. 

 

“Tell Barnes he’s up.”

_______________________________________________

Closing arguments were postponed for one week in order to give the government time to find Wil Weber.  His lawyer argued that he had a right to face his accuser, and given that he had been abducted, he could not exert that right.  

 

Steve and Bucky were busier than usual, meeting with Fury and other government agencies.  Though you were technically off bedrest, at 36 weeks you didn’t feel much like doing anything.  Unfortunately, your brain didn’t get the message and you could not stop thinking about the renovations, which were nearing completion, and the mounds of tasks that would come after to move a family of 5 (including a baby) into the space.  Thankfully, Maria, Jen, and Ally had come by as often as possible and offered to run the decorating phase, which you detested. After talking it through with you and giving Steve a token say in paint colors and furniture, they had their marching orders and were thrilled to have a hand in making over your space, again.  

 

After a long day of being alone and feeling unproductive and cranky, you asked the agents on duty to accompany you on a short walk outside to get some fresh air.  They were hesitant, knowing your recent restrictions, as well as the current threat level outside the tower due to the trial. 

 

“FRIDAY, could you please ask Dr. Banner or Dr. Cho to call me?” 

 

“What’s going on here?”  _ Now _ your husband and his best man decide to show up.  Awesome.

 

“Captain, Mrs. Rogers asked us to accompany her on a walk outside but we wanted to make sure that was ok before we did so.  She was calling the med bay to get verbal clearance and we were about to get on comms with either you or Sergeant Barnes for a go/no go.”

 

“Thank you Agent,” he turned to face you, “Mrs. Rogers, can we speak with you for a moment?”

 

You sighed and hung your head, expecting a scolding, replete with crossed arms and stern face, and walked into the apartment.  You slumped down on the couch, closed your eyes, and leaned your head back. Steve took your hand while Bucky sat across from you.

 

“Steph.”

 

You didn’t move or open your eyes.  “What?” You sounded pissed off, to say the least.

 

“Look at me.  Please.” 

 

Over-the-top theatricality was the main course for the evening.  You didn’t give a shit if it was petulant or immature. “WHAT? I AM LISTENING, STEVE!” It did not help that he and Bucky started chuckling “under their breath” at this point. 

 

You got up and walked to the bedroom and slammed the door.  There. Nothing proven, nothing won, but still felt DAMN good.  You plugged in your headphones, cranked your 80’s pop station and started cleaning.  Nothing crazy, but tidying all the stuff you’d left lying around for the past few weeks.  As you burned up your completely overblown righteous anger, you sat down on the bed and noticed a piece of paper slipped under the door, which made you smile.

 

“Doll, Steve’s out here trying not to break down the door.  Please let him in, it’s pathetic and you know I have plans with Ally.  You can call her and tell her why I’m late for the romantic rooftop date  _ you _ helped me plan.  Just make sure to PLEASE tell her it’s because your husband is worried about you and loves you and doesn’t want anything to happen to you or your baby.  Love, Bucky.”

 

“PS - That was pretty heavy handed.  Did it convince you to open the door?”

 

You laughed and opened the door to find the two of the biggest, most soft-hearted men in the world sitting on the sofa, looking at you  You smiled and apologized, shooing Bucky out as quickly as possible, and assuring him he could blame you for being late. Steve had his arm around your waist as you closed the door.  He turned to you and as his mouth was about to form words, you gently interrupted with a single finger on his lips. 

 

“I’m sorry.  I am clearly going stir-crazy and pregnancy-crazy and trial-crazy and no one should have that level of crazy in their lives all at once.  I was wrong, and I apologize for taking it out on you.” He hugged you gently, aware that your belly had a mind of its own.

 

He smiled before responding.  “I could go with funny smartass or sincere husband right now.  Thoughts?” Your laughter was so loud, it echoed off the long windows.  

 

“Surprise me.  I’ll take either in stride, I promise.”

 

He leaned in and kissed you, making you forget what got this all started in the first place.  “Sit down for a second, I’ll be right back.”

 

As he walked back into the room, you felt a jolt of panic when FRIDAY announced a building-wide lockdown, activating the protocols that would keep everyone in place.  Steve asked for further information, as he had every security clearance.

 

“The lockdown was activated as a result of an attempted incursion on the roof.”

 

You couldn’t stop yourself from grabbing Steve’s arm and yelling.  “Bucky and Ally are on the roof! That’s where their date was tonight, I helped him plan it.”  You slumped down on the couch and started to bawl with fear.

 

Yet again, Steve worked the problem as he held you tightly.  

 

“FRIDAY, locate Sergeant Barnes and guest.” 

 

“Ms. Marsh is in the lobby on ground level, in the confines of the security office. Last known location of Sergeant Barnes was the rooftop of Stark Tower, but his current whereabouts are unknown.”

 

_ The location of Sergeant Barnes is unknown.   _

 

“Steve, Ally must be freaking out downstairs.  Can we bring her up here?” Steve did whatever he had to do and FRIDAY let him out and down to get your friend, who was, indeed, freaking out.  When she arrived to your place, the early panic had given way to deep worry over her boyfriend.

 

“We were going to meet at his place, then he was going to show me the roof.  I texted that I was running a bit late because of traffic, and then the whole world was ending and I was locked in a room.”

_______________________________________

The Soldier was awake.  The last thing he remembered was a chopper, a very large taser-like weapon fired directly at him, and black.

 

Every sense was heightened, every sound and smell collected and its meaning analyzed.  The scratch of metal against metal. Breath being inhaled and exhaled with a hitch of fear.  Tentative footsteps shuffling and giving him a large berth. He blindly confirmed that his body, including his left arm, was immobilized.  Barnes was there, but watching and waiting. The Soldier was needed now.

 

His cold detachment didn’t stop when he felt the pressure of a hand running over his left arm and the cool spray of alcohol on the crook of his right elbow.  The pinch of the needle wasn’t a surprise and didn’t incite fear, just initiation of the mission protocol. He opened his eyes, visibly scaring the technician inserting an IV into his right arm.

 

“Dr. Weber, the patient is awake.”

 

“Yes, of course he is.  Is he ready?” Wilhelm Weber stepped into the brightly lit area next to the gurney.  He was calm, at ease, back in his white lab coat and suit. The only remnants of his prison time were the bags under his eyes and sallow skin that could not be hidden by the tangible symbols of his former glory.  

 

He leaned in and affixed the small silver adhesive disc behind Bucky’s ear that matched his own and began the extraction procedure that would be the activating agent for the harvested somatic stem cells.  The beginning of the new race of super soldiers.

____________________________________________

You were all crazy with worry.  Helen Cho had immediately ordered you back to bed, and you asked Ally to stay with you so neither of you would be alone.  You and your ex-husband agreed the girls and their security team should stay with him until further notice, and Steve wasn’t Steve.  He was Captain America.

 

“Nat do we have the trackers yet?” The team had converged in the Tower’s situation room and were strategizing how to get their teammate back.

 

“They started transmitting about 3 minutes ago.  They’re not far.”

 

“Good.  Let’s load up and get Bucky outta there, then we can deal with the good doctor.”

 

He stopped when Nat didn’t fall in behind him.  “What? Let’s go, Romanoff.”

 

The Black Widow was not one to share information in its entirety, but she made an exception when it came to Steve and Bucky.

 

“Steve.  Before we go, I have to tell you something.”  There was no point in play-acting as Steve stared right through her.

 

“We both knew that once Weber was back in HIVE custody, Bucky was going to use himself as bait in order to get him out and take them down.  But there’s more.”

 

Steve waited, but his patience was wearing thin and Nat knew it.

 

“He knew the HIVE would see right through that.  So he asked me to falsify records indicating that  _ he _ had been the one our team experimented on to identify the missing element of Erskine’s serum.  That you were the “control” because you have the complete version, and he could be the ideal subject because the only difference between the two of you was the one unknown element.”

 

Steve’s face was blank, his voice as neutral as it could be.  

 

“Anything else?”

 

“We leaked the fake report to Weber’s defense team.  It said that comparison of Bucky’s DNA before and after the experiment showed a change in his serum’s biological composition.  In other words, they think a successfully reworked serum now runs through Bucky’s veins.”

 

“What the fuck, Nat! Why didn’t you tell me this?” Steve was scared.  No one had to tell him what this meant, that Bucky had sweetened the pot and placed himself in the lion’s den.     
  


“We’re not going into this now, but believe me, we will Agent Romanoff.  Suit up. Wheels up in 5.” Natasha’s face showed a momentary flash of something….guilt, disappointment, fear...whatever it was, the Black Widow had to move now and deal with it later.  

______________________________________________________

“Sergeant Barnes.  We have the reports from the scientists who worked on you.  We know your serum is now complete.” Bucky pulled at his restraints and looked both men in the eye showing nothing but dispassionate calculation and menace.

 

Weber and West stood side-by-side just out of reach of the metal arm that could crush them both in a second.  Following Weber’s abduction at the courthouse, the doctor wasted no time telling West of the bait-and-switch-and-decimate-HIVE plan that his sister had cooked up.  West was not surprised and knew he could exploit the Webers’ anger to achieve HIVE’s goals. The tracking devices that Weber was given were reprogrammed, and now, the rerouted signals would lead the Avengers to a dummy location.

 

“Excellent.  The tracking signals have been successfully re-routed for both you and Barnes.  They’ll be led miles away from here.”

 

Weber silently nodded and turned back to his work.  He was the only one who knew what had to be done in order to achieve their goal of creating another super soldier.  West had escaped with the map of Captain America’s DNA and his child’s fetal stem cells, so Weber now had the genetic blueprint to re-create the serum and the “soil” in which to grow the new super soldier.  

 

West had instructed Wil to take the leaked medical reports as fact, told him there was no time to verify Barnes’ “new” serum before beginning the final phase of the experiment.  Weber argued as much as his place in the new power structure allowed, but was roundly denied. Barnes was going to be used as a source of pre-packaged ingredients, so to speak, since Weber did not have time or equipment to convert the printout of Rogers’ DNA into live serum, and the composition of the harvested fetal cells was unknown. 

Therefore, Barnes was the new control, since his serum was now being accepted as a complete version.   Bone marrow and semen would be harvested while he was unconscious, with the latter used to fertilize the egg of a chosen female. Following implantation, his blood and DNA would be used in conjunction with the fetal stem cells to genetically engineer the first of a new race of super soldiers.  HYDRA and The Hand wanted 100% cont rol over nature  _ and _ nurture from the moment of conception - no chances would be taken by implanting the enhanced cells into a living person.  The procedure was wildly risky and unproven, but that did not dampen Dr. Weber’s joy. Revenge for he and his sister’s imprisonment was in hand, he was once again free, and his life-long obsession would soon be realized.  

___________________________________________

After one brief stop, Steve, Vision, Nat, Clint and Wanda were enroute to the identified location.  Sam and Tony stayed behind at Steve’s request, in case you required protection or help. Usually, you loved having them there, as it made you feel more involved in what was going on, but this time, you were scared, not only for Bucky and Steve and the team, but for Ally.  This was the first time she had been this close to a mission, this close to real peril for a person she loved. She was handling it well, but the strain was starting to take its toll. You knew the signs, because you had experienced them more times than you’d like to count.  

 

Sam was wonderful.  He and Ally walked around the Tower, talking and sharing stories about Bucky.  Sam had a few more tales to tell than Ally, but hers were different, more personal.  Sam listened and smiled without a lick of sarcasm. He fired up the movie theatre, and screened one of your favorites, The Princess Bride, which had all of you laughing and crying, in the best way possible.

 

The night they left, Ally lay in your bed while you talked and listened to each other’s stories.

 

“I thought I was pregnant, you know.”  You shot up from your prone position and quietly squealed, your eyes asking several questions at once.

 

She sighed and shook her head, with a little laugh.  “We were both absolutely freaking out for a couple of days.  I’ve had the birth control implant for years and he wasn’t so sure about his swimmers, so we figured we were safe.  Turns out it was a false alarm, but it made me think about life with a longer lens….more than just the next few weeks at a time.”

 

“I’m sorry, love.” You hugged her, but her genuine smile spoke volumes.  She was ok. “How did Bucky take it when you found out you weren’t?”

 

“That was tough.  In the span of a few days he had gone from being shocked to concerned to happy to excited.  When I told him I wasn’t pregnant, he was so supportive, but told me what he thought I wanted to hear.”

 

“Which was?”

 

“He thought I would be relieved to not be pregnant, that I would never want a baby with him because of who he was before.”  She smiled softly, thinking about how to say what she felt. “Eventually I figured out how to tell him that the one thing the experience taught me was that I wanted to have children, and that I’d be lucky to have him as their father.”  

 

Cue late-term pregnancy emotional outburst.  You cried, then she cried, you squealed, and she laughed and everything was good.  “Al, I’m so happy for both of you. Does this mean you’ve talked about the bigger picture, about the future?”

 

She blushed, which you found strange because Ally was a tough-as-nails businesswoman who rarely displayed any sort of shyness.  “I think that’s what tonight on the roof was going to be about. I think he was going to suggest we move in together.”

 

You clutched your chest dramatically, and giggled for at least a minute with glee.  “I am so incredibly happy for you two. I KNEW IT! I knew you’d be great together if you could trust each other.”  You set your shoulders straight and got up out of bed. “C’mon, we’re going to the situation room. I want an update and I want to know when our men are coming home.”

_______________________________________________________

When the jet landed at a darkened warehouse, Steve got an unfamiliar feeling of deja vu.  He shook it off quickly as they attempted to scan the structure’s interior, and wasn’t surprised when they could not.  He focused on planning their entry and extracting their people, a well-known routine. 

 

What he did  _ not _ know was that it was an ambush.  HYDRA didn’t have allies, but they did have professional collaborators, and The Hand was one of them.  It was established as a group of lethal warriors in Asia, formed to give its members eternal life and the spoils that flowed from it.  It worked parallel to HYDRA - not together, but working towards common goals, for centuries. The Struckers, and now, Webers, were HYDRA legacies - born and forged in the fire of hate and mania their father and grandfather subscribed to.  One of HYDRA’s founding principles was doing whatever was necessary to succeed, and the Struckers knew that Hitler’s failed experiment required flexibility. By the time the Axis powers lost World War II, the Struckers had already fled to Asia where Wilhelm’s father Wolfgang offered his services to The Hand.  Young Wilhelm was indoctrinated and earned a rightful place among their masters. 

 

Agent West had long served as an intermediary between both HYDRA and The Hand, ensuring there was no overlap or conflict of interest.  There had been few, until now. Both groups were part of the Serum project, and hence knew the value of protecting Wil Weber and seeing it successfully completed.  The Hand’s loyalty to Wilhelm Strucker was passed down to his children. When approached by West to help in the scientist’s escape and Barnes’s capture, they sent their best soldiers without hesitation.  They did not have to wait long to carry out their mission.

 

As the team took their positions, Steve, as always, went in first, followed close behind by half the team, with the other half approaching from the other end of the building.  He immediately knew something was up, as there was almost no sound, only movement, within the cavernous interior. He advanced and was immediately blasted back by firepower so strong it blew his shield out of his hands.  Wanda and Clint covered him but were soon swamped by hoards of hostiles. 

 

As Vision and Nat heard the battle noises, they converged on their teammates’ position.  Steve, Clint, and Wanda were barely holding their own, facing mercs that had not only lethal fighting skill but magic at their disposal.  

 

Nat knew they had a long fight ahead of them.  “Steve, we need her!”

  
“No! She stays out of this!  That’s an order!”

______________________________________________

“Sir, the Avengers have infiltrated the warehouse and have been engaged by The Hand.  Surveillance indicates that Captain Rogers and his team are significantly outnumbered.”

 

West turned to Weber and nodded.  “Begin.”

 

Wil Weber took a quiet deep breath and turned towards his subject.  He administered the same sedative his sister used on Rogers and readied his equipment.

 

Bucky waited.  He heard their plans, their updates.  He knew his friends, no, his family, were in trouble and it was eating him alive.  He had worked at his bindings without success, but realized that the same thing he loathed about himself - his left arm - was the only thing that could get him free.  He knew if he succumbed to the sedative it would be that much harder for the team to find him.

 

As he heard West instruct Weber to begin, he began to flex the plates in his left arm, in the hope of catching and slicing its binding.  He was frustratingly close when Weber approached him with the needle. Bucky started flailing and moving himself as much as possible, but Weber was ready for that.  Bucky saw black as the needle was jammed into his neck by an unseen person behind him. 

___________________________________________________

Sam met you as the elevator door opened on the 23rd floor.  “Ladies, let’s go back to your room, ok? Tony has to deal with some tech stuff and he’d rather not have an audience.”  You knew Sam, you knew conflicts were fluid and unpredictable, and you were scared - but you played along for Ally’s sake.  

 

“Oh, ok.  Thanks Sam.  Is there anything we can do to help? Do you guys need some food or anything?”

 

His smile was genuine and his unspoken appreciation for your help was all over his face.  “Nah, we’re good. Do you want me to come with you?”

 

You reassured him that you would make it back just fine and that you’d love to know when things were taken care of so you could get a status update.  It was late, and when you yawned, it was not an act. You were thankful for third trimester fatigue, because otherwise you knew you would be up cleaning and baking and flicking through the TV channels all night.  Before you drifted off, you texted your daughters and gave Ally free reign over the entire place, in the very real likelihood that she couldn’t get any rest. 

 

Your sleep was fitful, and when you woke up gasping from a nightmare, you knew something was wrong.  This was supposed to be a quick mission but you hadn’t heard a thing. You texted Sam and Tony and slipped out of the suite, past where Ally had finally collapsed on the couch from exhaustion.

 

As you stepped off the elevator in front of the nerve center of the building, the place that connected the Avengers in the field with the team in the tower, you saw Sam slumped forward, his head hanging low.  Tony stood next to him, a multitude of holograms splayed across the room, with the horrible soundtrack of fighting and fear in the background.

 

When you didn’t immediately get out, FRIDAY reminded you.  “You’ve arrived miss.” She was always good at stating the obvious.

 

“I know FRIDAY, I just don’t know if I want to get out.”

 

“You won’t learn anything until you ask, Miss.  It’s ok, I can tell you that the team is in one piece.”

 

“Thanks.  I wish that I could hug you, sometimes.”

 

All the talking alerted the men to your presence.  When he met you at the elevator Sam sighed and ran his hands over his face.

 

“Steph, you don’t want to be here right now.  Cap would kill us if he knew you were.” The man who was always your go-to for a positive outlook looked exhausted. His shirt was wrinkled and his eyes red, the long night and worry having taken their toll.  You reached out and gently touched his arm, and were rewarded with a weary smile. 

 

“Sam, I’m not trying to get anyone in trouble, or put myself through undue stress, but something is wrong.  This was supposed to be an in-and-out type of thing. Even if something had gone wrong, they would have handled it and come home already.  Just tell me, ok?”

 

He rubbed his hand over his face and turned to Tony, who was busy doing….well, Tony-looking things.  “Don’t look at me birdman, I’m trying to figure out what’s next over here.”

 

“They hit some unexpected trouble at the warehouse where they had tracked Bucky and Weber.”  He continued to explain, as gently and quickly as possible, that they had been ambushed, but fought their way through it with only minor injuries.  Once they brought in SHIELD backup and detained the hostiles, it was confirmed that Bucky and Weber were not there. 

 

Tony finally spoke. “We’ve spent the last few hours trying to locate Barnes and Weber.  That’s what I’ve been up to, trying to hack into the trackers remotely. We’re close.” The man of iron was showing his age and his concern for his friends.  There were bags under his eyes along with countless empty coffee cups on the table. His smirk was notably absent, and his smile was slow to appear. You hugged him, trying to tell him how much you appreciated all his work, and got a tight squeeze of support in return. 

 

You turned back to Sam, ready to plead if necessary.  “Can I talk to Steve, please?”

 

Sam looked to Tony who nodded imperceptibly and patched you through to Steve.  You felt relief flood your system when you saw his beautifully dirty face and mussed hair.  You reached out and touched the screen while your other hand touched your lips. He did the same.

 

“Hey gorgeous, you ok? How’s the little one?”   
  


“We’re both good, Cap.  Just wanted to tell you I love you -  _ we _ love you.  Be safe.” He smiled softly and the call disconnected.  As soon as he did, the fatigue from the fading adrenaline hit you like a tidal wave, and you asked Sam to walk you back to your place, where you slept the entire night.

__________________________________________________

When he woke up, groggy and sore, Bucky tried to move but couldn’t.  He tried to breathe deeply, but couldn’t without pain. The place on his chest where the bone marrow had been extracted made it difficult for him to inhale and exhale, and he cringed when he realized his groin was also on fire.  As he tried to clear up his vision, he noticed little things….petri dishes, microscopes, monitors, incubators, sterilization equipment….all the things someone knowledgeable would need to make super soldier serum, including the DNA sequences of the only known super soldiers in the world and an innocent unborn child.

 

As Wil Weber looked over his little garden of evil, Bucky spat out his contempt for the man.  “You know Weber, I’m not surprised you double-crossed us, but to think you’d do it to your sister, too? You know what’s going to happen to her, don’t you?  She’s going to face the big ol’ needle all on her own, cursing you ‘til her last breath. And I’m going to be there to see it. Hell, I’m gonna bring popcorn.”

 

The scientist scoffed, while the man felt what noone but Ellie would understand.  He and his sister would do anything for each other, but they always knew their first priority was this mission.  He was honoring his sister by doing this, not failing her. Barnes would never comprehend that.

 

Two hours after the procedure, Weber knew what genetic markers should be lighting up under the microscope.  He didn’t see them. He smiled to himself as his recording microscope saved all the information that would be needed.

 

“Is there a problem, Dr. Weber?”  West had appeared at his elbow and caught Wil unaware.  The scientist calmly turned away from his equipment and looked West in the eye.

 

“Of course not.  These results are exactly what you predicted.” 

 

West noticed the subtle implication, but had no time to address it.  “We’ve got to clean this up. I’ve learned that the Avengers have subdued the mercs at the warehouse and are on their way here.”

 

“Excellent.  I have everything I need.  You can dispose of this trash at your convenience.”  Weber carelessly gestured to Bucky and began to collect the most important pieces of his makeshift lab.

 

Bucky was sore and out of breath, but had battled through much worse.  He had no fear of either man, just anger and growing curiosity at Weber’s nonchalance at the failure of his life’s work.

____________________________________________________

Clint had touched down over 2 miles away from the new location.  Vision had been sent ahead as a scout and had reported that Bucky and Weber were indeed there, surrounded by a minimal HIVE contingent.  They had not bothered to wall themselves in, given that they weren’t expecting visitors. 

 

Steve was getting his best friend and ending this.  Then he was going to see his wife, sleep, and rip Barnes and Romanoff a new one.  In that order. He corralled his people and led them in. The guards had been alerted but were no match for a group of enhanced fighters who were really pissed off.  

 

Bucky heard them and started taunting Weber.  “You know what’s up, don’t you Weber. You know that all the reports West relied on, told you to follow, were doctored, right?  You know that I’ve still got the same ol’ knock-off, second-rate HYDRA shit in me? That your grand plan is no closer to being achieved than it has been the last 80 years?”  He kept it up, noting that the scientist’s knuckles were white from gripping the table edge and his breath was coming in short shallow gasps. There was movement on the edge of his vision.

 

Weber spoke slowly and carefully.  “Yes, Sergeant, I did in fact know all that.  What  _ you _ don’t know is that despite your worthless DNA, this project’s failure is not my biggest concern at the moment.” 

 

“What in the hell are you talking about Weber? What failure?” West had returned and was no longer ignoring the doctor’s comments.  Bucky heard the first inklings of panic in the man’s voice.

 

The mousy scientist turned towards the man who saw himself as the one in charge, the one controlling Wilhelm Weber’s fate.  West paused and took a step back when he saw a gleefully deviant smile spread across the other man’s face.

 

“ _ Your _ failure, of course, West.”  Weber knew West was expecting an explanation, but none was offered.  Weber returned to his table and barely reacted when West grabbed his arm and yanked it, demanding the scientist’s attention.

 

“What the hell are you talking about, Weber? We have everything we need, including the enhanced stem cells.”

 

Without as much as a glance, Weber responded.  “Do we?”

 

West’s panic was becoming more obvious.  His fear at what another failure meant loomed large on his horizon.  He was silent, frozen in place, while Weber calmly packed his supplies in the insulated suitcase used for such things.  The scientist’s voice was eerily even.

 

“No, we do not, Mr. West.  The Avengers came to me while I was in prison to produce false reports stating the Winter Soldier’s serum had been successfully modified at long last, thanks to my work identifying the missing element of Erskine’s serum.  These reports would be accepted by any scientist HYDRA used to verify them, and would force you to find me, to bargain for me, to abduct me. 

 

“I am the only person who can carry out my father and grandfather’s plan, and even my sister was stupid enough to bargain for me.  Not even  _ she _ realized that this whole plan, the abductions and stem cell harvest from the Rogers woman, that HYDRA was never going to get what they wanted.  I’ve got buyers lined up all over the world, who are going to help me disappear.”

 

“Was sagst du Wilhelm?”  _ [What are you saying, Wilhelm?]   _ For the first time since he met her, Bucky saw Ellie Weber’s emotions as she emerged from the shadows.  Real, huge, awful emotions. They overtook her as her world crumbled. 

 

Without turning, Wil answered. “Also haben sie dich gebracht.”  _ [So they brought you.] _

 

The woman ran at her brother, screaming and clawing while Vision held West and Steve and Nat ran to intercept.  They knew Wil was not a match for his sister, but they could not have predicted the scientist would face her, a surgical scalpel in hand, and slice a perfect line through her carotid artery.

 

As she fell, the arterial blood sprayed as if in a horror movie, covering anyone in its path, including her brother.  She grabbed him as she fell, disbelief and terror consuming her. Wil lowered her to the floor and spoke softly.

 

“Ich musste es, Ellie. Ich musste weg von diesem Wahnsinn.”  _ [I had to Ellie, I had to get away from this insanity.] _

 

Cap ran towards the dying woman and covered the most critical areas with his hands, applying significant pressure, knowing it was futile.  While he encouraged her to hold on, she grabbed his hand and motioned for him to pull it away.

 

Lying on the floor, she looked only at her brother.

 

“Ich liebe dich”

 

“I love you too, Ellie.”

_______________________________________________

The team’s work was far from over when they landed.   The medical staff required them to go through the decontamination process in the scrub showers.   The coroner was in place, waiting for Ellie Weber’s body. Her brother and West were remanded to government custody, and initial paperwork needed to be completed.  The team was shocked when their Captain postponed the usual debriefing to go see his wife.

________________________________________

He didn’t need to knock, but you loved that Steve always did, especially when he came back from a mission.  You slowly trundled to the door, one hand under your belly, and opened it with a smile. Though he was clean and in civilian clothing, your husband looked worse than usual, with exhaustion and emotions close to overtaking him.  

 

“Hey gorgeous.”  He enveloped you in his arms, pulling you towards him as much as he dared.  You wrapped your arms around his neck and squeezed. Your kiss was soft against his lips, and said everything that didn’t need to be said.  

 

“C’mon Cap, I’ve got something for you.”  You led him to your master bathroom where a bathtub waited for him, bubbles, candles and all.  His shoulders sagged with relief as you helped him out of his clothes, took his phone, and laid out a drink and some dinner on a nearby tray table.  

 

“I wish you could join me, babe.”  You kissed him gently as he sunk into the water, groaning at its relaxing effects.

 

“Soon enough, love.”  You closed the door, watching him sink beneath the water and break through again, his eyes closed.

____________________________________________

You and Steve had a tradition.  He almost always skipped his run the morning after he returned from a mission, and you were delighted to see him asleep and snuggled against you when you woke up.  You kissed him and his smile made you giggle.

 

“What’s so funny Mrs. Rogers?”

 

For no reason, that made you laugh harder.  “I honestly don’t know, but I guess it has something to do with this mission.  To know that you got West and the Webers and Bucky was safe….I didn’t realize I was holding my breath all this time.”

 

“Yeah, neither did I.  It’s nice to take a deep breath again.”


	30. The End...for now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As their lives start to calm (for the moment), Steve and Steph prepare for their new addition to their family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the last chapter of the little story that could. See the end for not-nearly-enough thanks to my team of helpers, most of all @MsEnglish101.  
> -Steph

“One, two, three - open!” You laughed as Steve took his hand away from your eyes, and let you see your newly-renovated home. You were only one week away from your due date, and Steve insisted on carrying you if you needed to walk more than a few minutes. You didn’t go out much, because, embarrassing, but seeing your new home was one thing you insisted on before the baby was born. It helped that Maria, Ally, and Jen had lobbied Bucky and Steve and your medical team so intensely that agreeing to it was almost not an option.

The women stood in front of you to showcase the tremendous work they did to coordinate and execute the final steps of creating your home, and it was gorgeous. Neutral colors, natural wood, lots of light from floor-to-ceiling windows - it was almost impossible to think about the two separate apartments it once was. It was everything you dreamed. You looked up at Steve with tears in your eyes.

                 

[Entryway](https://cdn.decoist.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Olivia-bench-with-matching-locker-towers.jpg) and [Home Office](https://cdn.decoist.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Gorgeous-contemporary-playroom-and-home-office-idea.jpg)

Steve and Bucky had been back to the apartment several times - to help the women with moving, to setup the security systems, and to make a designated area for the agents on duty that would not require them to enter the apartment.  He kissed your forehead before leading you into another room. “Just wait until you see the nursery.” 

“Do you need to cover my eyes again?”  You giggled with excitement to see where your baby would grow up.  Steve nodded and gently covered your eyes with his right hand, and guided you into the room with his left hand on your lower back.  When you opened your eyes, you were rendered speechless by the baby shower that was staged in the living area next to the nursery.

“What? What’s all this?”  You were crying to see the girls with their Dad’s wife, Avengers’ families, a select few friends of the girls, and most special - your parents, siblings, nieces and nephews.

Tony stepped up to speak but Pepper intercepted him and took over, handing you a virgin Bellini and showing you and Steve to the seats of honor.  Before you sat down, you walked over to each of the three tables and embraced each person before arriving at Pepper, Maria, Jen, and Ally.

“I don’t know what to say for all of this.  I can never pay you back for all this time and effort and work and beauty.”  Your eyes were leaking at a pretty quick rate.

Jen got the first words in.  “None of us want that, Steph.  All we want is for you and your family to live happily ever after.”  

It wouldn’t be an emotional outpouring if Maria didn’t add her five cents.  “Yes, happily ever after, but also your unending love and fealty to the Unholy Trinity.  Oh, and your husband and his buddies on call for all heavy lifting needs.”

Ally and Bucky had their arms around each other’s waists and you hugged both of them with all the strength you could muster.  Baby Rogers thanked them with a direct kick that even Bucky felt.

The best gift you could receive was that Bucky Barnes was there, safe and whole.  You were grateful and didn’t expect anything more, but when he spoke, you were touched.  “We love you guys, you know that.

I can’t wait to be called Uncle Bucky.”

“...or Uncle James?” Ally looked at him and smirked, sharing some unspoken secret.  He pinched her side and you laughed as she squeaked.

 

Showers are, to be blunt, boring as all hell if you aren’t the recipients or organizers.  Nothing escaped Pepper’s notice, so she had planned a wonderful brunch with make-your-own stations for omelettes, sundaes, and waffles to keep people busy and interactive while you opened gifts.  Baby was taking up so much space that even eating had lost its appeal, so you spent the time taking little bites and talking to everyone. 

The gifts were unbelievably sweet, many making Steve cringe when they were red, white, and blue or featured his shield or the Avengers logo.  You fawned over every single one and knew you’d never forget the thoughtfulness behind them.

          

You weren’t going to move in until a couple of months after the baby was born, which meant your parents and some of your siblings could stay in the apartment while they visited.  It allowed all of you to have some privacy, and it meant your family didn’t have to pay for a hotel. To have them there with you for the baby’s birth made it that much more special.  Gabbi and Lizzie were already planning all the things they would do together, including setting up their new semi-private living space.

 

As you took a deep breath after several animated conversations, you felt a hand on your upper back and a kiss on the top of your head.  Steve came around and kneeled in front of you.

 

“How ya doing gorgeous? Getting tired?”  You nodded slowly and yawned, making him smile.

 

“Ready to go back home and lay down?”  You yawned again, and put up your index finger, signaling you had something to say.  

 

“Yes, but I haven’t seen the nursery yet.  Can we, just you and me?” He smiled as he stood.  “I don’t know how I manage all your high-maintenance requests, Mrs. Rogers.  Of course.” The two of you quietly slipped into your baby’s room. 

 

“Oh, Steve.  It’s gorgeous.  This looks like your work,” gently touching the hand-painted wall decorations.  He blushed and nodded.

 

“Yeah.  Ally suggested I help out when Bucky told her I used to draw and paint, and then Maria wouldn’t let go of it, so I relented.”  You turned towards him and put your arms around his waist, as best as you could with your baby bump, and laid your head on his chest.

 

“It’s breathtaking, Steve.  It’s a dream come true.” You whispered, “Now I’ve got one last surprise for you.”  His eyebrows lifted, suggesting that maybe Baby Rogers was ready. You chuckled, “No, sorry Cap, this kid is following in his sisters’ footsteps and hanging out as long as possible.  The surprise is in the back half of my old place. I swore everyone to secrecy, and I hope they kept their word.”

 

You gave a heads up to your friends and Bucky and walked back to the special area together.

 

“You’re going to need somewhere to get away, Steve.  You deserve somewhere to pursue your passion, and I couldn’t imagine a better space.”

He took in the small room that was filled with light and wood and art supplies and looked at everyone with such thanks in his eyes that no words were needed.  You held his arm as he walked around and touched things with an awe that filled your heart. It was minimalist - no pictures, yet. 

“I can’t wait to see what you hang in here, and how this one influences your work.” You both put your hands on your tummy and softly kissed.

___________________________________________

After you thanked everyone and made them promise to share their pictures with you, the group’s collective opinion was that Steve needed to take you home.  You stalled until your doctors, who were in attendance, used the full weight of their medical degrees and ordered you to go. Before he had the chance, you begged Steve to let you walk to the elevator and then wait for him to bring the car around.

Once you were buckled in, you remembered something.  “You know, Cap, we’ve got to get the carseats put in.”  

He smiled, “Including the one for the bike, right?”

“Hardee har har, Steve. No.”

When you arrived at the Tower, you noticed the caravan of black SUV’s parked outside.  Your heart sunk.

You couldn’t help it, it just slipped out. “Shit.”

Steve got you settled and went to investigate.  When he returned to find you worried and stressed, he offered reassurance.  “Yes, Fury and Coulson are here. Yes, they wanted to talk to me and Bucky, but it is not about a mission.  It’s to tie up the loose ends around the Webers and West.”

Following Ellie Weber’s murder at her brother’s hands and the re-arrest and arraignment on new charges for Wil Weber and West, a mistrial was declared in the original trial in which you testified.  Thankfully, your legal team had secured the judge’s agreement that your testimony could be read for the record for the new trial, if you could not go through it again. West and Weber were in separate prisons, in isolation, not allowed visitors or interaction with the prison population.

“There was still the matter of the physical evidence that Weber had and is now in custody- from you and the baby, from me, from Bucky.”  You started to feel uneasy, as you assumed it would be destroyed, eventually. Steve held your hands and conveyed his message as quickly and painlessly as possible.

“Fury has been notified that as my serum is technically considered government property, my sample will not be destroyed until such time that it can be, “exhaustively studied” in comparison to the baby’s.  Bucky’s will be kept until the next trial ends, and then destroyed, as it was unchanged throughout this….series of events.”

You were too relieved and tired to argue, so you leaned back and fell asleep, secure in the knowledge Steve wasn’t going anywhere, for now.  

_________________________________________

You, Steve, Helen, and Bruce had decided that you would deliver at the nearby hospital, where they had visiting privileges and a wing that was better equipped for any contingency.

“Steph, wake up, baby.  Are you alright?” Steve was pulling the covers off of you after he heard a rush of water in the bed, followed by liquid moving against his body.  You were waking up, wondering what was going on, when he gently shook your shoulders.

“I’m up, love.  Yeah, call Bruce and Helen, it’s most likely…..” You took a deep breath in and out when the first real contraction hit.  It had been almost 15 years since you’d had one, but man-oh-man if it wasn’t still as mother f’ing painful as it was all that time ago.

You directed him towards some sweatpants and a loose top you had laid out on top of your hospital suitcase.  A quick supervised run to the bathroom and a group text to the “Baby Alert” crew, and you were on your way with Bucky at the wheel (he insisted on playing a “critical” role in the birth).  Your husband was spouting delivery protocols like a true military man, while coaching you through your contractions. He confirmed that Bruce and Helen were already at the hospital, and monitored Bucky’s driving, all at the same time.  You were just glad he brought you along for the ride.

When you arrived, Steve didn’t even ask, he took you out of the car directly into his arms, before double-timing it inside.  A wheelchair was ready, and Steve had to be reminded that at this point, he was no longer in command, the medical staff was. 

As you grabbed for his hand and squeezed, he looked down.  “Sorry Cap, but you’re about to go back to taking orders, not giving them.”  He smiled, nerves starting to peek through his tight smile. 

It was a nice reminder that the check-in process was quite short when you were in active labor, since no one wanted to deliver a baby in the hallway.  Your room was ready, all the machines and people that needed to be there were in place, and you were in your hospital gown and all checked out from head to toe and everywhere in between in no time at all.  Steve didn’t know what to do with himself when you weren’t actively contracting, and you were thankful Bucky was out in the waiting room and could distract him.

“Babe, go see Bucky for a few minutes ok? Your pacing is not helping me relax and I need to rest in between pushes.”

His lopsided smirk that you always found so adorable made an appearance.  “That bad, huh? I can coordinate an invasion but need guidance to help my wife give birth.”

You motioned him towards you and kissed him.  “You’ve had practice with the invasion bit, but I think I’m your first wife and this is the first time you’ve done this childbirth thing.  You’re learning, too.” You gently prodded him towards the door with a nod of your head and then promised you’d walk the halls with him when he returned.  

It did not take long for you to enter a more active stage of labor, with regular, stronger contractions.  After walking as much as you could stand, you asked for your epidural. That was something that, despite his best efforts to be with you every minute, Steve could not watch.  Bruce saw how uncomfortable he looked and told him to step out. 

Again, thank God for Bucky in the waiting room, the only person besides you who could handle Steve at his jumpiest.  He threw his arm around his best friend and chuckled as the blond giant paced, then froze when you yelled from inside the room.

“Stevie, she’s fine.  She’s been through this before and now she’s practically got a whole floor of the hospital dedicated to helping her out.  There ain’t nothing that’s gonna get by Bruce and Helen, you know that.” Steve’s face was a bit gray, but he turned to his best friend and breathed in.  

“Ok.  I still worry, though.”  His head snapped towards the door of your room when the nurse called him back in.  

“Remember, those women want to know what’s going on and they’ll skin me alive if I don’t send them regular updates, so you need to keep me informed, ok punk?”  Steve waved without turning and headed back in.

You had been pushing for quite some time with some, but not much, progress.  You and the baby’s numbers were good, but the docs were worried about a lack of amniotic fluid, resulting from the baby’s size.  In between contractions, Steve pulled Bruce aside.

“Are you going to have to do a C-section?”  Bruce looked up at his good friend, his Captain, and smiled.  For the birth he was more of an assistant and Helen the lead doctor, but he certainly knew what was going on.

“We’re not sure.  She’s doing an awful lot of pushing and though the heartbeat and BP numbers look good, we’re keeping a very close eye on the fluid.  Helen will call for a section soon, if she doesn’t dilate to 10 cm within the next hour.

You were in pain, suddenly flooded with vivid memories of Gabbi’s birth when your epidural hadn’t done much then, either.  Apparently this kid also felt it necessary to press on the parts of the birth canal that the epidural “didn’t cover” and at one point, tears sprung up as you pushed.  

“Oooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww” was all Steve heard as you choked back a sob.  His heart was caught in his throat. He would have done anything to take the pain from you, but instead he did what he could - leaning into you and doing everything the medical team suggested, even improvising with positions that were easy for him to help you into because of his strength.  With his left hand holding one of your legs up, his right hand holding your hand, and his forehead pressed against you, he told you everything in his heart.

“Baby, you are doing so good.  You are so strong. You are almost there.  We’re almost at 10 cm, you can do this, my love.  You can do this. I love you so much and I am so proud of you.”  When he saw Helen nod at him, he knew that even though you were tired and hurting, you needed to give just a little more.

“Ok baby, this is it.  A few more big pushes and our baby should be out in the world.  We’re going to meet our baby, Steph. We’re going to meet the person who is you and me.  You can do it. Deep breath in and you’re gonna push for a count of 10. You can do this, soldier.”

Steve and the nurse who had your other leg held each of your hands as you bore down and screamed out a count of 10.  Helen gave your last order.

“One more, Steph, one more, I can see the head, Baby Rogers is almost here.  You can do it. One more big push, NOW!”

Tears fell as you held your breath again and pushed with every ounce of strength you had left.  Even with the epidural you felt a tremendous physical release of pressure as your baby slid out, and a rush of emotions as you heard the cry and saw Steve’s tears.  He looked at the baby, got a smiling nod from the doctors, and kissed your forehead before leaning his on yours. “It’s a boy. A beautiful baby boy my love. He’s perfect, and so are you.”

Helen called out to the recording nurse.  “1-minute APGAR is 10/10.” 

Steve accompanied your son to the basin surrounded by nurses and bright lights where they weighed him and put the antiseptic on his eyes that made him look like a gorgeous prize fighter.  Steve’s eyes were focused only on his baby, until he heard you cry out in pain, again.

He took the few steps to you in one leap. “What’s wrong?” 

“I don’t know, it hurts, still.” Your moan and the quickening beeps of your monitors brought in the medical folks with ultrasounds and instruments who pushed Steve out of the room while they figured things out.  He wandered into the waiting area to find Bucky, who broke out in a huge grin and rushed his best friend for the news. He was taken aback by Steve’s seriousness.

“Stevie, what’s going on?” It only took Steve’s brief pause to start elevating Bucky’s anxiety, but he stayed silent.

“It’s a boy.  A healthy, beautiful, baby boy.  He’s just as gorgeous as his Ma.”  Relief surged through his best friend, best man, best ally.  Bucky clapped his hand on Steve’s shoulder and pulled him in for a hug.  “How’s Momma?”

Your scream rang through the quiet ward, and Bucky had to forcibly restrain Steve from running into the room.  “I don’t know, Buck. After the baby was delivered she started writhing in pain and screaming and her BP was rising.  The docs are with her now.” 

After a few tense minutes, the doctors determined that your placenta had not completely delivered and they needed to manually manipulate your very sore lady parts to help complete the process.  So basically extend the grossest parts of birth that no one talks about. 

Steve’s face was ashen when they came to fill him in.  He didn’t brighten up until he saw you sitting up in bed, holding your son to your chest and smiling, exhausted but happy.  He gave you a hard kiss.

“You scared me, Mrs. Rogers.  Promise me you’ll never do that again.”  You kissed him and scooted over so he could get in bed with you and the baby.

“I’ll try my best, but you know how I tend to make trouble.”  You leaned into him, letting him hold you up, as the medical personnel finally left so you could bond as a family.  You looked up in unison as Bucky softly knocked on the door and asked if he could come in.

“Of course, Buck.  Everything’s fine. Come see your nephew.”  Bucky looked at the three of you and started to cry.  Not a stray tear here or there, not a few drops, but honest-to-goodness cry as you shifted the baby to his arms and grabbed your phone to take as many pictures as possible.  He only gave up the infant when the nurses came in to check on you. Satisfied with your status, they encouraged you to get the baby to latch, and at that point, Bucky took his leave.

“Buck, can you update the Baby Alert group? Maybe add a few pictures? I really want the girls here soon, so their details will need….” Bucky leaned in to hug you and kissed your cheek.  “Steph, you just had a baby, cool it with directing things, ok? We’ll handle everything, I promise. For now, get all the rest you can. Stevie, you take care of our girl, ok?” Steve’s nod was all that was needed to know he was not going anywhere.

________________________________________

Steve watched you held the little person the two of you made and something about it felt so right, so real, that he didn’t know how to describe it.  He looked at you, a 45-year-old woman who had just delivered her third child after a 14-year hiatus, and saw the most beautiful, radiant person he had ever seen.  

“I love you, Mrs. Rogers, you know that right?”  You snuggled your head on his shoulder and sighed with relief, a quiet “mmmmm” barely registering in reply.

When he saw your eyes close, he gently took his son and placed him in the rolling bassinet.  The little one wasn’t so little for a newborn, almost 11 pounds, and had already been poked, prodded, and tested.  From the time he was conceived, there were questions about whether or not Steve Roger’s child would be enhanced, and as soon as he was born and cleared, Bruce took blood to begin finding out.  Steve told him that unless it was something that needed to be dealt with immediately, to please hold off for awhile on sharing the results with him or you. 

Steve smiled and whispered the name you chose together as the little boy closed his eyes.  It was your suggestion to find a way to honor Sarah Rogers, which would have been a no-brainer with a girl, but for a boy you had to dig a bit deeper, since there was no clear-cut male counterpart.  You read that in Hebrew, Sarah meant princess. After investigating other possible choices, FRIDAY actually helped you decide. She suggested the Anglicized version of the Welsh word for prince. You both knew it was perfect the minute you said it, with Bucky’s name second.  Steve was more than satisfied to be remembered with the last name - “No kid deserves to be judged based on who his Dad is, plus he’d kill me when people started calling him Captain America, Jr.”

As the boy slept, snugly wrapped in his swaddling blanket, Steve understood what people said about their children - that it was like watching your heart walk around outside of your body.  The intensity of his feelings surprised him and the words flowed as the boy’s hand clutched his father’s finger.

“Hey little guy.  Just wanted you to know what an amazing Mom you have.  She went through hell for you, just like I would for her, for you, and for our entire family.  You’re gonna learn that our family is big and loud and sometimes crazy, and the most fiercely loyal people I’ve ever known.  We are so lucky to have every single one of them. Your mom and I are even luckier to have you with us. I love you, Brendan James Rogers.”

THE END?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot believe that this is the last chapter of this story. I don't want to stop writing, it's like my little baby, my first work out in this fanfiction world. I swear though, without Doreen, @MsEnglish101 helping and encouraging me every step of the way I wouldn't have made it. I certainly never would've felt I could write fiction. I also never would've met you and had a whirlwind celebration in NYC!
> 
> Without Van and without Hayley giving me so much support, I wouldn't have wanted to continue. I am so so grateful to you both, and to everyone who took the time to read and comment so kindly on this work.
> 
> I seriously cried as I wrapped it up. I've already started thinking about an Epilogue, but I have to know what you'd all think of that?
> 
> Thanks again, y'all. :) - Steph


End file.
